A sailor enters a sketchy watering hole. In the entrance a sign reads: Sausage roll 10$

And underneath it continues: Hand job 13$

A curvy barmaid is at the bar. He approaches her.

- Are you the one giving the hand jobs?
- Yes my sweet, are you feeling lonely? Do you want one?

He says

- No I will need you to sanitize your hands though...

(taking ...

Does anybody want to buy 500 sandwiches and 250 sausage rolls?

I misread the headlines and thought we were picnic buying.

How do you make a sausage roll?

Push it down a hill.

What do you call a pig that’s falling down a hill?

A sausage roll.

Dracula

Dracula is walking down the street one fine evening when a speeding lorry carrying mini sausage rolls, sandwiches, a variety of salads, dressed salmon, quiches and cold meats loses control, overturns and spills all that food. All this wreckage hits Dracula and with his dying breath he curses buffet ...

Two old guys talking.

Guy 1: As I get older all I need is, Spec-savers, Boots, and Greggs..


Guy 2: Yep, life is all Specs, and Drugs and Sausage rolls!!!

We went for a hike at the weekend , despite the blustery conditions , and despite taking 2 steps forward then 3 steps back we battled against the weather quite well.

Then it happened, from nowhere came down the sandwiches, sausage rolls, scotch eggs quiche and Vol-au-vent and then I realised we was being buffetted by the wind.

Why are AC/DC always so hungry?

Cause it’s a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll

Irish.

Two Irish Men walking down the Road.
Paddy says to Mick, what you got in the
bag? Mick says Sausage Rolls, Paddy says
if I can guess how many are in the bag, can
I have one, Mick says if you can guess, you
can have all 4...

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