There was an explosion in the cheese factory!

All that was left was *de-brie*

What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese

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I like my sex the same way I like my grilled cheese sandwiches [NSFW]

Alone and all over the bed.

Somone hit me with a block of cheese yesterday

I turnt arround and said 'That was mature wasn't it? '

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Now for the Top 10 weekly flavors of ice cream...

Number 10: Head Cheese

Number 9: Fishstick Frenzy

Number 8: Crisco Biscuits

Number 7: Salmon'nilla

Number 6: Tears of a Clown

Number 5: Horseradish Brownie

Number 4: Pervert Sherbet

Number 3: First of the Month

Number 2: Sexual Chocolate

What's a whales favorite sandwich?

Krilled cheese

Is Edam the best Dutch cheese you can buy?

Or is there a Gouda one?

What do you call a cheese maker that works very hard?

An overacheeser

What’s the difference between cheese and girls?

Cheese becomes better with age

What do you call it when someone borrows money to buy cheese?

A Provo-loan

What’s the definition of gross?

When you dream you’re eating cottage cheese and you wake up to find your grandma sitting on your face.

What does the egotistical cheese say to itself in the mirror



The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "Yo...

What's the best cheese to hide a horse with?


I don't have anything I can use to shred my cheese

But if I did that'd be grate

My dad accidentally threw a cheese grater at me,

So I left the room and he yelled “come back here you ungrateful child” while laughing hysterically.

Update 1: my mum just told me if I had a ‘shred’ of decency I would go back in there.

Update 2: my dad apologised and told me he had only done it for the ‘grater’ good

What do you call someone from Northern Syria who took refuge in Wisconsin?

A cheese Kurd.

What’s the difference between someone who can’t eat cheese, and someone who hates amputees?

Ones lactose intolerant, the other is lack-toes intolerant

Why don't they like cheese in Turkey?

Because they despise letting the Kurds have their way.

What is Donald Trump's favorite type of cheese?

White American

Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for his birthday.

He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

How does God like His cheese?


Two knights stood to face each other

They both unsheathed their weapons, ready to duel

The first knight drew his longsword, confident he would defeat his opponent with wit and skill

The second knight drew a large block of cheddar cheese

The first knight scoffed and said, "And just how to you expect to best me with ...

I taught my brother how to make his own cheese and now he can't stop!

I created a muenster.

Did you hear about the cheese trucks that collided in France?

The only thing left at the scene was debrie

(long) a blind joke.

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, ...

I don't like Swiss cheese.

It's the way it's always holier than thou.

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A French , a Russian and an Indian are on a flight

They are the only passengers, and there is only one window. The French sits next to the window and cracks open the window

After a few hours he jumps up and down saying “we’re in france , we’re in france”. The other ask how does he know , to which the French says “ i can smell the aroma of my...

How do you punish Hellen Keller?

Make her read a cheese grater.

Did ye hear? The local cheese manufacturer exploded.

Debris was everywhere.

What’s the difference between milk and cheese?

Cheese lost it’s whey in life

How do Indian cyclists carry their cheese?

In their paneer bags

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once a man assaulted me with milk, butter, and cheese.

How dairy.

a cheese factory exploded in France

da brie is everywhere.

So I'm cleaning out my refrigerator and couldn't help to notice what a great blue cheese selection I have.

Not intentionally.

I heard today that Donald Trump is banning shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

Have you heard about the troupe of actors who supported themselves by making and selling camel milk cheese?

The called themselves the Drama Dairy.

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A toeless man waddles into a park

And sits next to a man eating a whole block of cheese. He looks at the man and says:

"You goddamn cheese eaters make me fucking sick", the man responds:

"What, you lack toes AND tolerance?"

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Three mice are arguing over who is the hardest mouse.

The first mouse says, "I'm so hard I eat cheese with rat poison".

The second mouse says, " That's not as hard as me, I snort rat poison for breakfast".

The third mouse walks away and the others ask why it is leaving. The third mouse states, "I don't have time for this, I'm off to fuc...

I went to a barbeque food truck with a silver dollar.

I handed it to the lady and said, "Could I get some fries for this?"

"Sure, but what else do you want?" Confused, I said "Well, just the fries. This is all I have." She seemed slightly annoyed, "Ok, sir... But would you prefer a baked potato, green beans, cornbread or mac and cheese to go alo...

I want to have a cheese salad roll with bacon and olives before I die..

It's on my baguette list....

What’s the best type of cheese in the upside down?


I went to cinema last night and saw a movie about cheese.

It was G rated.

John and Bill are having a conversation.

John says I've got a joke.

Bill replies ok what is it.

John: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Bill: Nacho cheese.

John: Aww, how did you know?

Bill: Because it's Nacho joke.

Cheesy joke:

A long time ago, the Swiss was robbing a bank. Minutes after the robbery, some Blue cheese showed up on the scene, and caught the Swiss. They drew their gun and said:

“Gouda hell, Swiss.”

And filled him with holes, but Swiss got away.

I found a church where they include dairy with communion.

They call it "Cheeses of Nazareth"

I was super worried, but then someone shoved dough, cheese and sauce into my head.

Now I have pizza mind.

What do you call an empty jar of Cheese Whiz?

Cheese Wuz

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man invents a device that makes food come to life

He's been working on this project for years, his family, those he trusted enough to tell, never believed in him. "Now they'll see" he thought. His device was ready and he got out a small piece of ham from the refrigerator and placed it into the containment chamber. He crossed his fingers and pushed ...

I met Jeffrey Epstein once. It was only a brief interaction, but I can recall that I offered him some cheddar cheese and he didn't like it.

I think it was too mature for him.

What do you call mythical cheese?

Legend dairy

What do you call a really good looking piece of Swiss cheese?

A hole snack

I had my first interview for a cheese company

I think it went grate

What is the oldest known story about cheese?

The one of Edam and Eve

What do you call a zombie made out of cheese?

A Zombrie

What would you do if all US currency turned in to cheese?

Personally I'd just start using a swiss bank

My flirtatious neighbor called me and said that she bought too many zucchinis and ended up making two cheese and zucchini pies. She said I was welcome to come over and take one, and she also had some left over herbs that I could have.

So I went over, and she told she had just finished reading a Cosmo article called "which traffic sign are you?"

"Which traffic sign would your ideal woman be?" she asked me seductively.

I said " Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with I just want your extra t...

A bear walked into a restaurant and looks at the waiter and says “I’d like a grilled ................cheese.”.

The waiter said, “what’s with the big pause?”.

He said, “I’m a bear!”

What do you call smart cheese ?

sharp cheddar

A truck carrying cheese crashed on the highway this morning...

De brie was everywhere.

What did the teacher do with her students' report on the history of cheese?

She grated it.

What is a lion’s favourite cheese?


Someone threw cheese at me. I bled a lot.

Damn, that's one sharp cheddar!

Blind man and cheese grater

A blind guy gets a cheese grater as a present for his birthday.

A few weeks later he met the person who gifted it to him.

He says "I loved the book you got me for my birthday,but it was really violent!"

I made a frozen pizza this morning. I took off the shrink wrap on the pizza and noticed it had some small holes in it where the frozen cheese had stabbed through.

That was some sharp cheddar.

There's only one way the US is going to be able to redeem themselves after this presidency, and that's to outlaw the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

Make America grate again.

My new girlfriend has a fetish for being covered in cheese and pickle.

She's a cracker.

Be very careful if someone offers you fries, gravy, and cheese curds with raspberries on top.

I’ve heard of people trying to poison raspoutine.

Don’t let anyone insult the quality of your cheese.

You can always make it grate.

What did the cheese say when it's kid got bad grades?

I'm ***grate***ly disappointed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

500$ Grilled Cheese Sandwich

A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!"

The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my...

I tried cooking mac and cheese last week

The Apple Store are still refusing to fix my laptop

How many vegans does it take to eat a cheese and bacon burger?

One, if noone is watching.

There was once a cheese factory. One day however, a fire broke out and the factory was desteoyed.

There was alot of De Brie.

Why'd the cheese factory fire the guy with no toes?

They were lack toes intolerant.

Did you guys hear about the French cheese factory that burnt down recently?

The only thing left was da Brie.

What do you call a melted piece of cheese nearby?

A hot single in your area

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Life is getting pretty dull, so I've decided to eat nothing but Swiss cheese

I just need more 'holy shit' in my life

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?'

The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.

The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.

The barman, now intrig...

The waiter came by and grated cheese for me

I told him I was grateful

I was surprised to learn the most common method of suicide in France was throwing a toaster in a bathtub filled with cheese enzymes.

It was quite a culture shock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend sprinkles Greek cheese on her poop.

I really NEED to tell my girlfriend ,I’m not into her fetashits.

Medusa makes cheese nowadays


I drove to my local church to donate cheese to their food shelf.

Jesus take the wheel.

How do ducks eat cheese?

On quackers.

There was an explosion at a French cheese factory earlier today

Officials say theres nothing but de brie left.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day...

She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on italian bread, made with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “Hows the san...

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