Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in france?

There was nothing but de brie.

You probably know how most cheese is produced, and the steps taken to make the different varieties of cheese,

but did you know Edam is made backwards?

I cut my mouth on cheese.

My wife must've bought the extra sharp cheddar.

I just got attacked by someone with milk and cheese

How dairy.

Did anyone else hear about the Vatican naming swiss as the official cheese for christianity?

Yea that's right, it's the holiest of cheeses.

A cheese factory exploded recently..

...Unfortunately, nothing could be salvaged except for de-brie.

What's a cheese race called?

A grand bree

I was hanging out with my friend from Mexico the other day and he asked me how runny I like my cottage cheese.

I told him "No whey, Jose"

I just learned that my local supermarket stopped selling my favorite cheese

They cut the cheese and it stinks.

What cheese is made backwards?

Edam

Helen Keller once described a cheese grater...

...as "the most violent book I've ever read."

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

What is a KKK member’s favorite cheese?

White American

A cheese walks into a bar...

...the Barman says we don’t serve your rind in here.

Two guys are walking down the street in Florida and they see a sign outside a bar that says "10 cent Martinis" and they decide to go in. They don't believe it, but decide to order anyway. The bartender makes two large Belvedere martinis with blue cheese olives and says "That will be 20 cents."

The two guys can't believe it, but drink up and order again. While the bartender is making the drinks, they ask him "How can you afford to do this?" The bartender responds, "I always wanted to own a bar where people could drink cheaply and then I won the lottery." One of the patrons responded, "That...

I told my friend the secret cheese joke

He said "that's a Gouda one"

How do you turn milk into cheese?

Put it in solid dairy confinement.

[BREAKING NEWS] A bomb has just exploded in a Paris cheese shop.

Eyewitnesses report there is currently de Brie all over the place.

Did you hear Donald Trump is outlawing string cheese?

Yeah, I guess he wants to make America grate again.

My local Trump-supporting grocery store has stopped selling all pre-shredded cheeses

... they want to make America grate again

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call nacho cheese that isn’t yours?

Wait... crap... let me try that again.

What’s Medusa’s favorite cheese?

Gorgonzola.

I was caught breaking into a cheese factory with a lock pick and a large stone.

The guard that caught me said "I get the lock pick but what's the Roquefort?"

What did the yoghurt say to the cheese?

Ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well.

My worst joke ever told

What do you call the fallout of a cheese nuke? Debrie.

Which Star Wars character is obsessed with cheese?

Boba Feta.

What cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone

My dad compared his relationship with my mom to cheese

He said it's slowly degrating.

I've got an addiction to cheddar cheese.

Its only mild though.

I was in my house last night, and at around midnight I heard a smash. I ran downstairs and someone had thrown a block of cheese through my window....

Looked at it and thought, that's mature

Why do Germans fear getting cheese in their hotdogs?

Because for them it's considered to be a Wurst-Käse scenario.

How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?

On a queso by queso basis.

I like my women like I like my pizza cheese

Greased up and extra thick.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

After the war, Anne Frank went on to become a very successful farmer. She became famous for producing all sorts of goods including milk, cheese, and the most amazing butter.

It was the Dairy of Anne Frank.

What is the only cheese allowed at the Vatican?

Swiss, it's holy.

I tried making French cheese

But I failed. The cows had been given too many antibrieotics ...

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?

Hallou-mi

I had a job where I had to put shredded cheese back together

It was the most de-grating job I've ever had.

What kind of milk do you use to make Swiss cheese?

Hole milk.

What do I have in common with processed cheese?

We're both Singles.

Which cheese is made backwards?

Edam is, naturally enough!

​

(shoot him Kurt)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A biker walks into a bar and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.

He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:

Hamburger - 2.99

Cheeseburger - 3.99

Chicken Sandwich - 4.99

Hand Jobs - 19.99

The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at th...

whats so good about thin strips of cheese?

I don't know. It's just grate.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms ...

I’ve got to get into shape for my new job as a cheese grater.

I’ve got to get shredded.

Why did the Italian Homer Simpson buy his wife cheese?

Because it was Formaggio

I don't like cheese...

Maybe I'm just uncultured.

A vegan was flying to Germany and discovered the airline had forgotten his special meal. He had no choice but to eat the only meal available: sausage and cheese.

It was a Wurst-Käse scenario.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man broke into my house last night, and he stole my cheese, milk, ice cream, yogurt, and butter.

How dairy.

Someone asked why I keep a bunch of cheese in my pocket

I said it’s there in queso emergency

What do you call a person that knows a lot about cheese?

A cheese wiz!

Turkey has just banned cheese...

It seems they have issues with the curds.

I've been trying to make a joke about swiss cheese...

But the joke has too many holes.

​

I know that was a cheesy joke. Most people aren't really that fondu of them. It's rare for them to be gouda jokes. You may think of me as a muenster for these jokes, and that I could do cheddar than this. I mean no parm in these puns. Alrig...

Europeans revere the art of cheesemaking.

But Swiss cheese is holy.

In Roman Catholicism who invented Cheese?

Cheesus
(I'm really high so I apologize if this joke makes no sense)

In the cheese competition, who is the judge?

The cheese grader

God asks a programmer to decide between eternal life and bliss or a cheese sandwich.

The programmer says he must think about it for a bit which confuses god a bit since it’s a no brainer and more of a joke question, but he agrees.

After a while he comes back and says “I’ll take the cheese sandwich, thank you”

God now even more confused, asks how he came to that decisio...

I cut my finger while cutting cheese

But I think I may have GRATER problems

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:

Chicken Sandwich:$1.50

Cheese Sandwich:$2.50

Hand Job:$10.00


He walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager looking group of men.

' Yes?' she inquires with a knowing smile. 'Can I help you?'

'I...

What's Captain Marvel's favorite cheese?

Brie.

What is better than Cheese?

A Cheese Greater.

The moon may not be made of cheese

but I bet it tastes out of this world

When I was visiting Mexico, I found it strange that they would keep cheese in their first aid kits.

Turns out it was just there in queso emergency.

A wizard once turned me into a block of cheese...

I was very grateful.

Did you know that you can’t make cheese without Jesus?

Because He is the whey

I put my backup cheese grater in a glass box.

I'll break the glass in Queso-mergency

There's a cheese manufacturer in Israel

It's called 'cheeses of Nazareth'

What's Emperor Palpetine's favourite cheese?

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOUDA

There is a new Mexican cheese on the market called potassium sulfur monoxide...

Or just K-SO, for short.

I watched a film about cheese.

It was G-Rated.

What is the best cheese in the history of the world?

GOAT cheese

I was so proud of the moldy cheese in my fridge.

It had become very cultured.

I was making fancy French cheese...

I tried to make the rind but it didn't work. Turns out I had used penicillin instead of *Penicillium*...

Just another example of food ruined by antibrieotics...

Sweet dreams are made of cheese...

Who am I to diss a brie?

What kind of music does cheese listen to?

R and Brie.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If you cut yourself on a cheese grater

It probably is for the grater good...

scrap that joke, it's too cheesy.

A man walks into a library and orders two cheese burgers...

The librarian says, "Uh, sir, this is a library."

The man whispers

^(oh sorry, may I have two cheese burgers please?)