Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater

About a week later he told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read

Some kid just threw a bottle of milk and a block of cheese at me.

How dairy!

Man: Can I have a number 4 with cheese?

Librarian: Sir, this is a library.

Man: Oh, right. Sorry.

Man: (whispers) Can I please have a number 4 with cheese?

A man was in the supermarket buying snacks for lunchtime when he saw a new babybel cheese with multi-colour wax.

The type of cheese wasn't labelled but he decided to try it anyway and found he really liked it. However, he couldn't decipher what cheese it was so he bought another one the next day.

The next day he yet again enjoyed it but still couldn't figure out what it was. His friend said he liked c...

What do you call cheese that isn't yours ?

Nacho chease

What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?

Gorgonzola.

Have you heard of the French cheese factory that exploded recently?

The was nothing left of it but de brie

A cheese burger walks into a bar

The bartender shouts "Sorry, we don't serve food here!"

Did you know that music is often used to help advance in the fermentation of cheese.

The most popular genre in use today is R & Brie.

I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.

It's only mild.

Which is the most religious cheese?

Swiss, because it is holy.

Being addicted to cheese

Is emmental condition.

What is the loneliest cheese?

Prov-Alone

How do Welsh people eat hot cheese?

Caerphilly

Stevie wonder got a cheese grater as a gift on his birthday.

He said it was the worst book he ever read.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign hanging over the bar which read: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50, Chicken Sandwich: $2.50, Hand Job: $10.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

“Yes?” she enquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

I was wondering, whispers the man, "are you t...

Hear about the Cheese Secret Society trying to take over the world?

Hallouminati confirmed.

When should you keep an eye on your cheese?

When it's up to no Gouda.

What did the man say when he got lost in a cheese factory?

"Excuse me sir, can you show me the whey?"

What is Buddah's favorite type of cheese?

Gouddah

If Jesus made cheese what would he be called?

Cheesus

As told to me by a very proud junior hamster who probably won't understand the hit my karma will take for sharing their joke.

Someone hit me in the head with a block of cheese

Man that really rinds my ears.

The very last thing my dad said to me before he died was 'You need one of those things that you can shred cheese with'...

That was some grate advice.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men and a wheel of cheese

Two men and a wheel of cheese (Long)

*** This joke is better said than read, but imagine the accents and it’s funny as heck (I think at least...)

A Mexican man is down on how luck. His hours were cut at work so he is having trouble making ends meet. Because he’s a man of faith, he de...

My friend told me he hated blue cheese because it's literally just cheese with bacteria.

I told him to stop discriminating against other cultures.

Why does cheese come in a big wheel?

It’s a fris*brie*




sorry for such a cheesy joke

Why did the cheese get promoted?

He was gouda his job

A strawberry, a ham, and some cheese are having a talk about politics

The strawberry says: I'm pro-Hillary

The ham says: I'm pro-Trump

Then the cheese says: I'm pro-volone

A new hired cheese maker wasn't sure if he was adding enough cream. So he asked his boss.

His boss replied, "That's gouda nuff"

What did the pasta say to the cheese?

Grate to meet you!

I'm allergic to soft cheese.

It doesn't abrie with my stomach.

A truck transporting cheese in France got into an accident and exploded

Da Brie is everywhere

What do you call people who worship cheese?

Brielievers

Have you heard of the cheese killer?

He will tear you limb from Limburger. And even if you dodge him once, he will Brie back!

What kind of French cheese is best for beckoning a grizzly?

Camembert
.
.
.
.
.
(Try saying it in a French accent)

A man goes to a diner and orders a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of room temperature sweet tea.

When his food arrives he takes a sip of the tea but finds it to be scorching hot.
"Ow!" yells the man, "I asked for this to be room temperature!"
"It is, sir" says the waiter "The kitchen is on fire."

What do you call a cheese maker that works very hard?

An overacheeser

Trump just banned the import of any European cheese into America

How dairy.

What do you call a lump of cheese that likes milk?

A feta pile!

A man comes home will a big block of Swiss cheese.

He tells his family he brought cheese so they could make nachos for dinner.

His oldest son, who is kind of a know-it-all, says, "Dad, you brought the wrong kind of cheese."

His dad replies, "Really, the guy I stole it from specifically said, 'That's nacho cheese!'"

What do Swiss Cheese and Jesus Christ have in common?

They are both very **holey**

My friends have started a podcast where they argue about their cheese opinions

It's called "k......so?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like my sex the same way I like my grilled cheese sandwiches [NSFW]

Alone and all over the bed.

What's the difference between a man working in an imitation cheese factory and Freddie Mercury?

The first man wants to fake brie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks in to a brothel and puts $1000 down on the table. He then says to the madame "I want your ugliest girl and macaroni and cheese."

The madame replies "for that kind of money, you can have one of our finest girls and a three course gourmet meal." The guy replies "Sorry honey, I'm not horny, just home sick."

I don't have anything I can use to shred my cheese

But if I did that'd be grate

What do you call it when someone borrows money to buy cheese?

A Provo-loan

I taught my brother how to make his own cheese and now he can't stop!

I created a muenster.

What is Donald Trump's favorite type of cheese?

White American

Breaking news: Philadelphia Cream Cheese's New Ad Slams Competitor Brand's product!

It's just a regular smear campaign.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bovine Economics

Basic Economics, brought up to date...



\*\*SOCIALISM\*\*



You have 2 cows.



You give one to your neighbor.



The government charges a gift tax.







\*\*COMMUNISM\*\*



You have 2 cows.



The...

Members of the archery club sometime meet at the cheese shop.

Just to shoot the Bries

What do you call an empty jar of Cheese Whiz?

Cheese Wuz

Somone hit me with a block of cheese yesterday

I turnt arround and said 'That was mature wasn't it? '

I was walking home last night and someone threw a block of cheese out the window and it hit me on the head...

I turned and shouted "That wasn't very mature was it?"

What does the egotistical cheese say to itself in the mirror

Halloumi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What type of cheese does Ned Flanders name his penis after?

Pecorino.

I was eating a cheese sandwich yesterday and cut my mouth.

That's what I get for eating sharp cheddar.


\-An old joke from my grandmother

What's the best cheese to hide a horse with?

Mascarpone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.


The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.


Aware of h...

I met Jeffrey Epstein once. It was only a brief interaction, but I can recall that I offered him some cheddar cheese and he didn't like it.

I think it was too mature for him.

Did you hear about the cheese trucks that collided in France?

The only thing left at the scene was debrie

What would you do if all US currency turned in to cheese?

Personally I'd just start using a swiss bank

Guys, I just want to let you all know... I really love spicy cheese dip!

K, so?

Is Edam the best Dutch cheese you can buy?

Or is there a Gouda one?

What’s the difference between cheese and girls?

Cheese becomes better with age

I went to cinema last night and saw a movie about cheese.

It was G rated.

What do you call mythical cheese?

Legend dairy

Did ye hear? The local cheese manufacturer exploded.

Debris was everywhere.

Why don't they like cheese in Turkey?

Because they despise letting the Kurds have their way.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hand Jobs $20 (NSFW)

A man walks into a sandwich shop and looks at the menu board. It reads

Grilled Cheese - $3
Ham and Cheese $5
Roast Beef - $6
Hand jobs -$20

A beautiful blond with huge tits comes to the register and says "what will you have handsome?"

"Are you the one that gives the han...

What’s the difference between someone who can’t eat cheese, and someone who hates amputees?

Ones lactose intolerant, the other is lack-toes intolerant

I was super worried, but then someone shoved dough, cheese and sauce into my head.

Now I have pizza mind.

I had my first interview for a cheese company

I think it went grate

What is the oldest known story about cheese?

The one of Edam and Eve

How do Indian cyclists carry their cheese?

In their paneer bags

What do you call a really good looking piece of Swiss cheese?

A hole snack

What’s the difference between milk and cheese?

Cheese lost it’s whey in life

What’s the best type of cheese in the upside down?

Demogorgonzola

There was a scotsman called Reginald Mcdonald

He was called that because if you reached up his kilt, he had 2 quater pounders. With cheese.

I don't like Swiss cheese.

It's the way it's always holier than thou.

My flirtatious neighbor called me and said that she bought too many zucchinis and ended up making two cheese and zucchini pies. She said I was welcome to come over and take one, and she also had some left over herbs that I could have.

So I went over, and she told she had just finished reading a Cosmo article called "which traffic sign are you?"



"Which traffic sign would your ideal woman be?" she asked me seductively.



I said " Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with I just want your extra t...

So I'm cleaning out my refrigerator and couldn't help to notice what a great blue cheese selection I have.

Not intentionally.

What do you call smart cheese ?

sharp cheddar

What did the teacher do with her students' report on the history of cheese?

She grated it.

I made a frozen pizza this morning. I took off the shrink wrap on the pizza and noticed it had some small holes in it where the frozen cheese had stabbed through.

That was some sharp cheddar.

A bear walked into a restaurant and looks at the waiter and says “I’d like a grilled ................cheese.”.

The waiter said, “what’s with the big pause?”.

He said, “I’m a bear!”

My new girlfriend has a fetish for being covered in cheese and pickle.

She's a cracker.

I want to have a cheese salad roll with bacon and olives before I die..

It's on my baguette list....

Have you heard about the troupe of actors who supported themselves by making and selling camel milk cheese?

The called themselves the Drama Dairy.

What did the cheese say when it's kid got bad grades?

I'm ***grate***ly disappointed.

A truck carrying cheese crashed on the highway this morning...

De brie was everywhere.

Be very careful if someone offers you fries, gravy, and cheese curds with raspberries on top.

I’ve heard of people trying to poison raspoutine.

I tried cooking mac and cheese last week

The Apple Store are still refusing to fix my laptop

Medusa makes cheese nowadays

Gorgonzola

What do you call a zombie made out of cheese?

A Zombrie

How many vegans does it take to eat a cheese and bacon burger?

One, if noone is watching.

Don’t let anyone insult the quality of your cheese.

You can always make it grate.

Someone threw cheese at me. I bled a lot.

Damn, that's one sharp cheddar!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

500$ Grilled Cheese Sandwich

A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!"

The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my...

There was once a cheese factory. One day however, a fire broke out and the factory was desteoyed.

There was alot of De Brie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend sprinkles Greek cheese on her poop.

I really NEED to tell my girlfriend ,I’m not into her fetashits.

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