What do you call a hot chick in Boston?

A tourist

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After hnoeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...

After a few drinks, billionaire’s friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..

‟It is simple” billionaire boasts....
‟I faked my age”

‟Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensati...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing... they keep saying 'Hi, we’re hot... do you want to *fuck us*?'"



"That's terrible!" says the priest. "But, I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house tomorrow. I will put them with my two male talking parrots... to whom I've taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terri...

A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy.

'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor.
Paddy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... '

'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did...

What is the difference between hot potato and a flying pig?

One's a heated yam, and one's a yeeted ham.

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me?

I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground.
You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If time and space were hot girls, you could only fuck Space

Because Time is relative.

Jack, a renown atheist, dies and to his utter surprise ends up in hell where he's greeted by Satan himself. Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: "Welp, I've been wrong all my life and I guess I'm now to pay the price for my lack of faith". Satan laughs and replies: Awh it's not so bad.

He then proceeds to escort Jack through a beautiful lush green plain with flowers, scattered here and there there's a bunch of houses where other "damned" live. As they pass through each house the inhabitants recognize Satan and invite them inside for a drink and a chat, a request that's always gran...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun, a hot blonde, a German and a Frenchman are sitting in a train compartment.

They don‘t know each other and are minding their own business. The train drives into a tunnel and it gets so dark in the compartment that you could not see your own hand in front of your eyes.

Suddenly a violently loud slapping noise rips into the silence. When the train leaves the tunnel ev...

So, joe biden walks into a bar and sees a hot, young woman sitting alone at a table....

....He sits down next to her and says “So...do I come here often?”

Hot actors are like hot ovens

It usually makes the news whenever someone puts a baby inside them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hot Tip :

When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet near your groin and exclaim" Thank God my wallet is safely tucked in between my testicles." The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to tak...

How do you find out how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is??

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!!

A Sensitive Guy (NSFW-ish)

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.


They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the ...

3 men are on a hot air balloon

3 men are on a hot air balloon but it’s losing altitude. They need to get rid of things quickly.

The first man grabs some planks of wood and throws them off the side of the balloon.

The second man throws 3 heavy rocks off of the balloon.

The last man drops a bomb off the side....

Two eggs are taking a bath. ‘It’s awfully hot in here’ one egg says.

‘That’s what gets me hard’ the other egg answers.

Is a hot dog a sandwich or a sub?

It’s just a hot dog. No bun intended.

What’s the difference between a hot girl and a mouse?

One charms the he’s and the other harms the cheese.

I just can't stop ogling at hot 18 year olds dressed in nothing but panties.

I could say I've a knicker teen addiction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today i asked the hot girl in my neighbourhood what are her Plans for next month

She said "fuck you". So i'm pretty excited for October

How does a Russian refresh himself on a hot day?

With a Cold War

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Homosexuals are sitting in a hot tub...

All of a sudden a load of cum rises to the top of the water.


One of the homosexuals says:


'Ok, who farted?'

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman, and a Scotsman are all on a hot air balloon.

The conductor almost panicked says, “there’s too much weight! Someone needs to jump off, or we’re going to crash!” The Welshman bravely steps up, “For the glory of wales!” And the Welshman throws himself off. The conductor still panicked says, “okay, we’re close but there is still too much weight!” ...

My Yoga instructor was so hot, I didn't want to leave the studio...

She kept telling me it was done but I said "namaste"

I used to fly a hang glider over my hot neighbor's pool.

My dad caught me and told me, "Son. You're grounded."

Your wife is hot

It's time to get your AC fixed

On a hot summer day there were two boys playing by a stream.

One boy went over to the bush to check out some noises.

He pointed out a woman bathing naked in the steam.

So, both boys decided to stay and watch her.

All of a sudden the second boy took off running.

The first boy couldn’t understand why he ran away, so he took off after...

Hot Dogs in America

Two immigrants have just arrived in the United States and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."

Nodding emphatically, one of the immigr...

i think my sister is hot.

Her AC unit is broken

What do you HAVE to put on your hot dogs?

Must-ard!



My 7-year-old hit us with that one and seems to be an original.

Medusa must have been super hot.

Every guy that looked at her got rock hard.

My friends laughed at me when I told them I had a hot date and they said she was imaginary...

Well the jokes on them – they’re imaginary too...

An engineer dies and is sent to hell

He’s hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he un-jams it. People can get from plce to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the ...

I have a cheap mirror hanging up that bends when it gets hot.

Anything over 30° and my self-esteem is shattered.




I hope this hits the front page after someone reposts it with Fahrenheit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the constipated hot dog say?

MUST...TURD...

What do you call it when you remove the inside of a hot dog

A Halloweeny

All the dwarfs were sat in a hot tub feeling happy

So happy got up and left

Brought my GF back to my place after a hot date...

The only problem is, my place was actually my parents place and I had to share a bunk bed with my little brother Timmy. My GF and I decided to make up code words as to not alert Timmy to what we were doing. Lettuce meant harder, tomato meant faster, and pickle meant I was ready to finish.

I h...

I like my men how I like my coffee...

Extremely hot and capable of severely injuring my throat

A Hot Mess

A boy and a girl are spending some time together at home until...

Girl: “Can you make me some hot chocolate?”

Boy: “Sure.”

After some time, the boy returns with a hot cup and gives it to the girl, she takes a sip and immediately spits it out.

Girl: “This tastes horrible! ...

What’s the opposite of a hot dog?

A chili dog.

What's the difference between a hot chick and a pair of sunglasses?

Sunglasses sit a little higher on my face.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got the words "Jacuzzi" and "Yakuza" confused.

Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.

My friend invited me to a threesome with a super hot girl.

We were going for about an hour, it was great. Then I asked “So when’s this girl getting here?”

A buddist monk walls up to a hot dog vendor...

Vendor: "And what would you like?"
Monk: "Make me one with everything."

If being hot was a crime

i'd be a clean man

I know this very hot headed Pediatrician...

He has little patients.

Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?

Because all of the fans left.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I must be really hot

Life wants to fuck me everyday.

I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.

She said, "It's my husband! Quick, try the backdoor."

Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don't get offers like that everyday.

Ex-Wife

Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning one of his hot rods for an upcoming show.

His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks. ‟Honey, I’ve just been think...

Dave and his girlfriend are at a party on a hot day.

It’s a good party, everyone is having fun. And eventually the catering comes in, and everyone starts lining up to get their food and drinks. Dave’s girlfriend is feeling a bit tired, so Dave offers to go up and get her a drink. She happily thanks him and asks for some lemonade just to quench her thi...

There's a hot blonde in my neighborhood and she doesn't look like an idiot to me.

I think she doesn't look to me at all.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met this girl the other day and she

tok me back to her house where things got hot and heavy very quickly.

I bent her over the kitchen table and started going at it when suddenly we heard the front door open.

‟Oh shit , it’s my boyfriend ! ” she exclaimed ‟Quick, use the backdoor” .

Now it's at about this time ...

How do you control a group of hot girls?

You use the firehoes.

The troubles of foreigners in Canada

A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.

"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."

"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."

"Wait a...

A guy sits down in at a bar and asks for a bowl of hot chili...

The bartender says, "Sorry, but the guy next to you got the last bowl".
He looks over and sees that the guy has finished his meal, but the bowl of chili is still full. He asks, "Are you going to eat that chili?"
The other guy says, "No. Help yourself".
He slides the bowl of chili over and s...

A penguin is on a long-deserved vacation from the zoo.

He decides to take a road trip out west, where his car breaks down. Luckily, it's right in front of a mechanic in town.

He drops the car off and tells the mechanic he's going to get some lunch. Its a really hot day, so after eating he stops by the ice cream shop for a little treat.

...

Why does a Chicago-style hot dog always lose races?

Because it refuses to ketchup.

A Scottish man, English man and an American are in a hot air balloon.

A Scottish man, English man and an American are in a hot air balloon. It's sinking fast. They need to throw something out that they have a lot of or they will crash into the houses below. The Scottish man throws out a haggis. English man throws out a cup of tea. The American throws out a bomb. They ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A scoutmaster and his girlfriend go hiking in the woods...

They take a break in a rocky clearing with odd writing. After a while, they get frisky, and decide to play a little game called hide the sausage. They look around for people even though they’re in the middle of nowhere. It seems all clear and they go for it. Little did they know, they were in the mi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was walking with his camel in the desert and he was so horny

so he decided to fuck the camel so he tried to put his dick in the camel but the camel moved it’s ass left and right so he couldn’t , so he decided to keep going with the camel in the desert until he heard a scream for help he went there and found a very hot woman sinking in quick sand so he saved h...

What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?

I'm bacon!

Jerry Seinfeld had to quit telling his jokes from a hot air balloon.

They all went over our heads.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and say, "Wow. It is really hot in here."

The other muffin screams, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!"

I had a hot dog the other day

He shouldn’t have jumped on the stove while I was cooking.

Did you hear about the Starbucks no-mask deal? Mask-less customers who buy a Grande hot coffee today...

Will get a free Venti later

Two homeless drunks have an idea NSFW

Two homeless men are talking together in an alley.

 

One man says to the other: Hey, I have an idea let's pool our money and buy a hotdog. Then we will go to every bar in town and order drinks until they ask us to pay. When they do, you drop on your knees, open my fly, start ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hot girl sitting on a large towering plant is commonly seen near where I drive to my house.

Cunt tree roads take me home.

I used to not like hot showers

But I warmed up the idea eventually.

What do you call a hot Indian girl?

Bomb Bae

I know why super hot girls aren’t political...

...no matter what party wins, they still get invited to it.

Hey honey, what do you like the most in me? My beautiful face or my hot body?

\- Your sense of humor.

"In downtown Burbank today, it was so hot..."

*How hot was it?*

"I saw a fire hydrant flagging down a dog..."

RIP Johnny Carson

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a homosexual person's favorite hot beverage?

LGB-Tea

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Donald Went Down to Georgia

The Donald went down to Georgia.

He was lookin' for a vote to steal.

He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind.

He was willing to make a deal

When he came across this old man givin' a speech and doin' it hot.

And the Donald jumped upon a hickory stump and said "Man...

My friend came back from his baseball game and complained it was hot.

He said because of COVID there were no fans

Two dragons walk into a bar. One says to the other "It's hot in here"

The other replies "shut your mouth"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If my sleep schedule was a person it'd be pretty hot, (nsfw)

Because it keeps getting fucked

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dictator once asked a famous composer if he could write him a brilliant piece of music.

Naturally, the composer was extremely nervous, as the dictator had a habit of giving the death penalty to those who did not please him.

The composer spent weeks working on this piece, and from a musical standpoint it was quite good. So, he gathered his orchestra and performed his piece for th...

“When the universe was very young, it was so hot...”

I'm going to stop you right there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hot single woman wants a strong relationship

She makes a post on a dating site saying that she is looking for a nice guy who wont hit her, wont run away, and is good in bed. A week later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door, looks down and sees a guy with no arms and legs in front of her .he lady is confused and asks the guy who is he and w...

A Buddhist monk, visiting New York City for the first time in twenty years, walked up to a hot dog vendor, handed him a twenty dollar bill, and said, “Make me one with everything.”

The vendor pocketed the money, and handed the Buddhist monk his hot dog. The monk, after waiting for a moment, asked for his change. The vendor looked at him and said, “Change comes from within.”

Keeping it hot after 50 years of marriage.

There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. 

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." 

"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this ...

My friend said he was hot, so I threw my drink at him

"What was that?" Lemon aid

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

DAAAAAMN I have a hot wife at home

And that fat cow gets real bitchy when the air conditioner breaks

Benny was never a good looking guy, but one day...

Benny was never a good looking guy, but one day when he was 40 years old, his fairy godmother came to help. She said,

“Benny, I’ve watched you all of your life, and you’ve never even kissed a girl. I’m going to help. I can make you the best looking man in the world. Women and men will al...

I just bought a hot water bidet

Real pain in the ass

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman were riding in a hot-air balloon.

The balloon was about to crash into a mountain, so the pilot says to them, "We need to lose more weight to get clear. One of you has to jump" So the Scotsman says "I do this for the glory of Scotland!" and he jumps out of the basket.

But the balloon wasn't high enough yet. "We need to lose m...

An examiner is conducting a test...

Two engineering students are waiting to give their oral viva test. The first student's turn comes, and he goes inside

Examiner :- Suppose you are travelling by a train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do?

Student:- I will open the window.

Examiner :- Great, now suppose ...

Her: “I think that guy is staring at me, he must think I’m hot.”

Him: “Why is that idiot not wearing a mask?”

Why do hot air ballons use burners and not steam?

Because Fireflies and Waterfalls

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are vaginas like hotdogs?

Because when you think about what goes into them, you want to quit eating them.

I called an old school friend and asked what he was doing now.

He replied that he was currently working on:

\*Aqua-thermal treatment on ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment\*

I was impressed......

On further enquiry, I learnt that he was washing dishes, with hot water under his wife's supervision.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Vampires go to the coffee shop every afternoon and order a warm cup of blood. One day, the first vampire orders a warm cup of blood and the other orders a cup of hot water. The first vampire asks "Why did you order water instead of blood?"

The second vampire pulls a used tampon out of his pocket and says, "today I'm having tea."

Have you ever seen something so attractive and so hot that it makes you melt like ice cream when you see try to get close to it?

I haven't. I think I'm seeing stars.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats similar between a hurricane and women?

They come in hot and wet and leave with **THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARA YOU BITCH!**

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How my Husband and I Terrified a Taxi Driver

My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theatre.

Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a 'night light' and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backayrd. When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat...

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she's hot,

but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Thanksgiving Dinner

A 17 year old male walks into a drug store. He says "I've been invited to Thanksgiving dinner at my new girlfriend's house. Afterwards I hope there is a chance I get lucky, you know what I mean"

Clerk: "How about condoms then? They could come in handy. Here's a pack." The young man after pay...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After the safety talk in the airplane the pilot forgets to turn off the microphone...

He turns to his copilot and says:
"I'm gonna take a dump and then I'm gonna fuck that smoking hot stewardess."
When the stewardess realizes what's going on she starts to sprint to the front to warn the pilot that his mic is still on but trips and falls. A passenger turns to her and says: "Calm...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two horses are sitting at a bar

The horses are taking about races they've been in recently
Horse 1: I was at a race, laps behind the rest. All of a sudden I feel a red hot poker up me ass anyways I put on speed and win the whole race.
Horse 2: Well now you mention that I was at a race, laps behind. All of a sudden I feel a r...

A guy has been chatting to a pretty Chinese girl in a bar and offers to take her home.

At her place things are starting to get hot and heavy, especially when she says "So, anything you really really like?". He decides to go for it and says "I'd love a 69."

She turns bright red, slaps his face and says "You bloody men all the same...

"I'm not cooking beef and broccoli at ...

Holy Mackerel! It's so hot out here today...

I just heard a tree trunk whistle for a dog...

A young guy met a sixty years old woman at a bar and she looked pretty good for her age.

he found himself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter.  The young guy drank a couple of beers

she asked if he’d ever had a Sportsman’s Double? 

‘What’s that?’, he asked. 

‘It’s a mother and daughter threesome,’ she said. 

As his mind began to embrace the i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A plane ditches off the coast of a deserted tropical island. The pilot, the co-pilot and a hot stewardess are the only survivors...

They start to set up camp. John, the pilot builds a hut, Jack, the co-pilot does his best in hunting and gathering, and Jane a campfire going. The eat all together, look at the stars and ponder on their new fate. After nightfall, they get into the hut, cuddle to keep warm and fall asleep.

The...

Two elderly men sitting in park

Two elderly men sitting in park. Both are starting to have Alzheimer symptoms. They discuss as they usually do on Monday PMs.



One of them sees a food truck across the park and tells the other one: "I'd like an ice cream, chocolate almonds ice cream. Do you want me to get you one ?"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Frank takes his hot blind date, Heather, to an amusement park.

Frank and Heather agree that Heather should decide on the first thing to do, then Frank, then Heather, then Frank and so on.

"What do you want to do first?" asks Frank. "I want to get weighed," replies Heather.

So Frank takes Heather to the weight guesser. "Let me guess," says the weig...

Arizona may be a COVID 19 hot spot...

...but at least its a dry cough.

A hot stove has something familiar to it

but I can’t put my finger on it

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.