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Justice is a dish best served cold,

if it were served warm it would be justwater.

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsay's favorite dish and a slow running computer?

One is a Rack of Lamb, the other is a Lack of RAM

Whats the national dish of ethiopia? Dont know?

Neither do they.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Russian farmer caught one of his cows masturbating. He slaughtered it and used the meat to invent a new dish.

He called it Beef Strokinoff.

Scientists have grown human vocal cords in a Petri dish

The results speak for themselves.

If a recipe calls for you to turn off the heat and begin mincing your herbs to add to the dish, that step would be called:

Stop. Hammer thyme.

What is a white person's favorite Mexican dish?

Number 4.

Brock Turner sounds like a dish made from broccoli and turnips...

Which is fitting because he prefers his women to be in vegetative states!

What is Waldo's (Wally's) least favorite dish?

Fondue!

What is it called when one biologist steals a petri dish from another biologist?

Cultural appropriation.

What do you call a cute dish with a Mexican explorer on it?

A Dora bowl

What is a ghost’s favourite dish?

Ghoulash

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What is the riskiest dish to order from a Japanese restaurant?

Fish of the north star.

What dish would you cook to ensnare a member of the UK Conservative Party?

Chicken Cacciatore.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What’s the difference between a poorly baked pastry dish and a cash-grabbing prick?

One’s a shit pie and the other’s Ajit Pai.

What’s the small box on the back of a satellite dish called?

A council flat.

A cook got his hand caught in the dish-washer

and they were both fired.

The Italian dish which is controversial in r/jokes

Copy Pasta

I always thought Revenge is a dish best served cold....

But then I learned it meant Getting back at someone.

What did the spice jar say as he emptied into the dish?

Oh my god, I'm cumin!!!

What's the heaviest dish ever cooked?

A bowl of one-tons. (Wontons)

Why did the chef not finish his dish?

He ran out of thyme.

As a Englishman, I feel shame for my countries lack of a unique dish

I mean, look at Italy with their pasta and pizza. Portugal has Peri-Peri sauce, the French have omlettes and fancy bread. And I think we all know how the good the Germans are with ovens.

Police are searching for a fugitive chef after he killed a customer who was arguing about spices used in a dish.

They are saying it's only a matter of thyme.

What is a horse's favourite italian dish?

Spaghetti bologneighs.

Don't ask, my brain comes up with silly things ._.

I seek to promote the welfare of a certain baked dish.

I'm a flanthropist.

What's Luigi's favorite dish at a seafood restaurant?

It's a Cala-Mario!


I thought of this joke while I was dreaming one night and laughed myself awake.

A wife cooked her husband a pasta dish and posted the pic on fb

Later at the dining table...

Husband: “Sweetheart, I think it needs a bit more salt."

Wife : “What the hell! This pasta got 453 Likes and also 138 people commented 'Yummy'. But there's no pleasing you is there?"

Did you hear about the white biologist stealing a petri dish from his black colleague?

It was a case of cultural appropriation.

What does a healthy dish and a good joke have in common?

Amy Schumer has never had any of them

An Australian Chef was caught spitting on every dish he made.

His career's saliva now.

What do you call Shaq if he was a delicious breakfast dish?

Shaquille Oatmeal

What is every dad's favorite dish?

Puncakes.

Man walks into an African restaurant and orders the most typical African dish...

...the waiter brings him an empty dish.

A blind man walks into the restaurant..

The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dis...

What's an epileptic's favorite side dish?

Seizure salad.

A friend tried to trip me up in an Indian restaurant, failed, and fell face first in to someone's mild chicken dish.

I call it instant korma.


I don't care if you like it, I can tikka or leave it.

What is reddits least favorite dish?

Kung Pao Chicken

Watching a cooking show when "We believe this was the last dish they served on the Titanic on that fateful day"

I bet that went down well.

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Did you know that the Venezuelans use the excrement of a rare species of bovine in an ancient dish passed down from generation to generation?

I lied it's all bullshit.

what do apples, dish washer soap, the muppets, a black guy, beer, yankee candels, and the keyboard on a flip phone all have in common?

they all help make a really convoluted joke.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Iranian Joke: Tranlated

A man was laying on his death bed at home. His beautiful wife sat by his side, holding his hand.

He was dismayed about his wife being with another man. He knew that this was probably inevitable but he wanted to hear it from her. He asked, "wife, do you think that when I am gone you will marr...

What's a panda's favorite kitchen dish?

A pan....duh

My dad is 100% Swedish and this was his favorite joke to tell waitresses when we went out to eat.

Waitress: Are you all finished?

Dad: No, I'm not Finnish, I'm Swedish.

In the west, You have a washing machine, a dish-washer, a shower, litter boxes, a toilet & a cemetery

But in India: We have the Ganges!

My brother can dish it out, but he can't take it.

He since lost his job as a waiter.

My wife uses an entire bottle of dish soap when she washes the dishes every night.

Another day, another Dawn

Today, I was thinking about the expression 'revenge is a dish best served cold'.

Then I considered 'revenge is sweet'. I've come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream.

What's Pao's favorite Chinese dish?

Infant children.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

For Halloween this year, I'm gonna be a dish.

Because bitches do dishes.

I was cooking a dish with onions in it and my friend cried.

I only now realized recently that she wasn't raising that dog for food.

What did the unskilled chef serve as a side dish?

Mediokra

Whenever you're serving a dish with a hollandaise sauce, make sure to use a chrome plate.

Because there's no plates like chrome for the hollandaise.

One of my chefs at my culinary school told the class this one and we got out early because we couldn't stand to be in the room with him any more.

I got charged for a satellite dish the other day...

I was furious. He told me it'd be on the house.

What's the first step to making your favorite Jewish dish?

Preheat the oven

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What is a chronic masturbator's favorite dish?

Meat stroganoff

What was the cannibal's favorite part about the Vegetarian dish?

The Vegetarian

My wife has just left me, taking my satellite dish and Bob Marley collection.

No woman, no Sky.

"Look, I know I'm just a deep dish filled with dough, tomato sauce, and mozzarella cheese... But you should really reconnect with your father."

"Hey! That's a little personal, pan pizza!"

What is the coldest dish at a Mexican restaurant?

a b-r-r-r-r-ito

Farmer John had the prettiest wife in town--we're talking a real dish

--and every many in town wanted her. Sam Spoon wanted her the most, and he had a plan to get her. Every day Farmer John would drive his truck to the base of his pasture to feed his prize cow, Bessie. Farmer John'd throw hay over the fence and ring a big cowbell, and when she heard it, Bessie'd come ...