Fat shaming is wrong.

They have enough on their plate already.

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said, "Nice legs."

The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Yo mama is so fat

She went out in high heels, and came back in flip flops

Finally my winter fat is gone!

Now I have spring rolls : (

Not saying my Ex was fat

But it took a year for my memory foam mattress to forget her.

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I was watching a porno and it was just this fat dude crying and jerking off

then I realised I hadn't turned my computer on yet

My wife spoke to me while staring into her mirror, she said 'I'm old, getting fat and look like I haven't slept for a week, I need a compliment'

I said 'Your eyesight is perfect'

Your momma is so fat....

Your momma is so fat that when she accepts website cookies they run out.

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Speaking of a big fat butt!

A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet.

"My cat is very fat,” she says.

"Alright," says the vet. "I will look at him."

The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth. Then she looks at its eyes. Then into its ears.

Finally, she turns to the girl and says, “I'm very sorr...

Guys We gotta stop giving fat people such a hard time

They got enough on their plate as it is.

Stop making fun of fat girls with lisps

They're thick and tired of it.

Your momma's so fat

She achieved herd immunity by herself

"Fat acceptance"

The only movement without movement

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Your mothers so fat

They started calling her Hitler at the strip club for all the damage she did to the Poles.

Yo momma so fat

She only needs a single cup of water to fill up her bath

Do you think when fat people send smiley faces

They send them like this :))

Yo mama so fat...

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity

But she so ugly people are still repelled by her

How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat?

She starts fitting in your wife's clothes.

(Old joke, I know, just heard it though, made me laugh.)

What do you call a fat psychic?

A 4 chin teller

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Sex with a fat woman is like subscribing to Netflix

You have so much content, you can't handle it.

Your MOM So Fat.

When She Walked In Front Of The TV I Missed Two Episodes.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears yellow...

I praise the Sun.

Your mother’s so fat

That every time she turns around it’s her birthday

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My girlfriend walked into the room and said “Do these jeans make me look fat?”

“do you promise not to get mad no matter what I say?” I asked

“Yes” she replied

“I fucked your sister”

Yo momma so fat...

When she's tanning at the beach, Greenpeace comes with 3 busses to pull her back in the water...

Yo momma's so fat that objects 5 meters away accelerate at 1 m/s^2 toward her. What is yo momma's mass if G = 6.67x10^-11Nm^2/kg^2?

Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts.

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What should you reply when a bully asks you ''Why are you so fat?

Everytime i fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.

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Harry was practicing his golf swing in his front yard when he swung a little too hard, he sent the ball through his neighbors window. He rang the bell but nobody answered so he opened the door to see an old lamp lying near broken glass and a huge fat Arabian man wearing a turban sitting on the couch

Harry asked, "Who are you?" The fat man replied, "I am a genie you have freed from that lamp."

Harry questioned, "Oh man, do I get three wishes?" The genie replied, "Since you freed me by accident you only get one and I get one."

Harry brought over his wife and discussed about what to ...

I'm so fat and poor that...

I only have one diabete.

The wife was looking in the mirror, and remarked how old and fat she was looking.

I said if it's any consolation, your eyesight is still one hundred precent!

What does a fat american and a rich english have in common?

Lots of pounds.

Yo mama so fat...

When she needs furniture she goes to a blacksmith.

I read about how in ancient Rome gladiators had a layer of fat to protect them in combat.

I'm gonna start telling people I have the body of a gladiator.

Yo momma’s so fat...

She slept on a memory foam mattress and it never forgot.

What do you call a fat alcoholic?

A heavy drinker

What do you call a fat drug addict?

Chunky junkie!

Yo mama so fat it's hilarious

I'm not laughing but the floor is cracking up

Yo momma so fat

she is seven out of ten fattest people I know!

What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?

A mass murderer

Q: Want to know how can you get rid of 16lb of ugly fat in less than 5 minutes?

A: Cut your head off

You know that mouth-watering sensation you get when you're grilling a fat, juicy steak?

I wonder if vegans get that when they mow the lawn.

What do you call a man who became fat from eating too much McDonald's?

Big Max

Your mama so fat

When she hauls a**, she has to make two trips.

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Yo mama so fat

Yo mama so fat she butt dialed me from a phone booth.

Yo mamma is so fat

That her patronus is a cake

I’m fat, but I identify as skinny.

I’m trans slender.

Why do you never see a fat ninja?

Because fat ninjas are the best ninjas.

Yo mama so fat

5 infinity stones couldn’t make her disappear

Beer doesn’t make you fat

It makes you lean; against walls, doors, toilets, etc.

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What do you call the fat around an asshole?

A politician

Your mama so fat

I accidentally ran a marathon while trying to pass her on the street

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Yo momma's so fat

When she gives a blowjob it is classified as a class 5 hurricane.

Yo Mama so fat

If she were in Star Wars she would be Admiral Snackbar

You can tell a girl she's pretty 1000 times & she'll never remember it, but if you call her fat just once she'll always remember it.

Elephants never forget.

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What do fat Japanese lawyers do when business is slow?

They sumo people.

After I've been waiting at the drive through they call me fat.

And they say it like it's their fault.

"Welcome sir. I'm sorry about your wait. Can I take your order?"

When you think about it I guess it kind of is their fault.

Yo mamma's so fat

They had to take her passport photo with Google earth.

Don’t make fun of fat people

It’s already hard enough for them to get up in the morning

Yo mama so fat

she looked at the menu and said OK

What is the fat man who works at the lamp store trying to do?

Cellulite

Wife: "I'm fat, old and ugly, what am I?"

Husband: "Right"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses, the results were pretty interesting...

30% of women think their ass is too fat,

10% of women think their ass is too skinny,

The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he is a good man, and wouldn't trade him for the world.

They say you shouldn't eat takeout too often because it makes you fat...

I think it's worth the weight.

Yo mama so fat

That when her underwear got dirty and she went to the laundromat, they told her that they don’t accept parachutes

Yo mamma so fat

When she steps on a scale I see my phone number

Yo momma soooo fat

she entered a fat contest and they said "sorry no professionals."

How do you make love to an immensely fat woman?

Roll her in flour and go for the wet spot.

A Dad told his fat son he was very good at everything.

Son: Why did you say that dad?
Dad: Because you are all rounded.

Your mamma’s so fat

She uses the large hadron collider as a hula hoop

A young Taiwanese boy asks his father a question:

(some things don't translate super well, I'll try my best)

He asks: "Dad, I heard some strange words at school today, and I don't know what they mean."

His dad responds, "Hmm... Tell me what they are. I'll try to explain them as best I can."

The boy asks the following: "What's '...

Not fat, just short.

According to the BMI chart, at the doctors office, I don’t need to lose 25 pounds! I do need to grow about six inches but hey, it beats dieting!

Yo mama is so fat

That when she jumped the fossils started screaming

Yo momma so fat...

There wasn’t enough room for a punchline

Yo momma’s so fat…

it’s not even funny.

What do you call an insect with a high fat diet?

A mosKeto!

What did the hippo say when another called it fat?

*"That's very hippocritical of you."*

My wife asked if these pants make her look fat…

I replied

“Definitely not. It’s you that makes the pants look fat.”

And oh how we both laughed and laughed.

Anyway, I’m single now in case any of you want to hang out.

I’m pretty open most days. Except for Tuesday’s when I do yoga.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is overweight

A man is overweight, so he looks on the internet for weight loss programs. He is scrolling through the internet, when he finds an ad: “We guarantee you will lose weight or your money back” It said. He clicks on it, and it purchases a 5-pound weight loss program. Two hours later, a beautiful woman sh...

Yo Mama so fat,

that she should be concerned because obesity is a huge problem

Yo momma's so fat

She has to use a boomerang to get her belt on

Doctors opinion

Doktor to patient “you are too fat”
Patient: “I would like a second opinion”
Doktor: “you are also ugly”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

this morning, my wife saved me from choking to death on a custard cream biscuit.

The fat cunt had eaten them all.

My doctor told me I have to stay away from trans fats.

I told him it's none of his business who I date.

Yo mama is so fat...

That when the people on Earth asked God for light, God had to move yo mama aside to give them all light

(Leave some more Yo Mama jokes in the comments lol)

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man invites some of his fetish club over for breakfast....

They are catching up on life and swapping stories about work, their grandkids’ birthdays, their recent stock market fortunes, and so on, when the subject of what they’re most proud of comes up.


Gerald, a 35 year old dentist, proudly exclaims, “Of everyone here, I by far, have the larges...

Daughter's confession

Daughter to her mom:

- Mom, I am dating our neighbor from the 3rd floor.

- You should really end that, he could be your father!

- But mom, for me, the age difference really does not matter...


- You don't really understand me, my dear...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Watched a porn last night of an old, fat man masturbating.

Turns out it was just a mirror.

Her: Am I looking fat in this dress?

Me: I choose Dare.

How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good?

Put a nipple on it.

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How I lost my Teeth

I was in my local pub last night enjoying a nice cold pint of beer, when this butt ugly fat bird came up to me and slapped me in the back, and said “how about giving me your number handsome”

I looked at her and asked “Do you have a pen” “sure!” She said.

So I said, “ Well you bett...

I was at the bar the other night ...

... and overheard three very big ol’ fat women talking at the bar. They all spoke with a heavy brogue accent.

I made an unfortunate assumption that their accents appeared to be Scottish… so I approached and asked, “Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?”

One of them angrily screec...

Life is like a box of chocolates.

It does not last long for fat people.

Yo mama so fat...

it took Nationwide 3 years to get on her side.

An irishman, a Scotsman and an Englishman are all sentenced to jail for 25 years

They are each allowed to bring one thing into prison with them. The irishman takes 25 years worth of cigarettes, the Scotsman takes 25 years worth of whiskey and the englishman takes 25 years worth of chocolate. So the 25 years pass and they are all let out of jail. The englishman comes out really f...

Yo mama so fat

>!We’re genuinely worried about her. That kind of lifestyle is unhealthy. You should encourage her to walk more and lay off the Ben&Jerry’s.!<

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