Your mom is so fat

Your mom is so fat that, a group of people started believing that your mom is actually flat.

[EDIT] OMG, thanks for the Platinum

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.


That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house a...

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she wont think twice..

Call a girl fat once and she’ll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

What do serial killers and fat girls on tinder have in common?

They both know how to hide their bodies.

My friend gets offended when people tell fat jokes.

I told her to lighten up.

Yo mama so fat

We are all concerned for her health, Kevin.

My parrot got so fat that it died.

It's a huge weight off my shoulder.

Yo momma's so fat

It took me three fingers to swipe left.

Yo mama so fat

Calculus still ain't been able to define the area under her curves

What’s the difference between a fat cow and your mother?

People will actually eat the cow.

I'm Fat, but I Identify as Skinny ....

I'm Transfat.

How do you make two pounds of fat look pretty?

Put a nipple on it!

My wife said to me, “Don’t take it personally if people call you fat....”

“You are much bigger than that.”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I bought a porn DVD today and all I could see was a dark image of some fat cunt sitting there holding his cock.

Then I realised the telly wasn't on.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Wife: Does this dress make me look fat? Me: You promise not to get mad no matter what i say? Wife: Yes

Me: I fucked your sister

Your Momma so fat.......

Her flesh eating disease got diabetes.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A fat man passes by a brothel..

... When he sees an advertisement sign stating "New weight loss program, free trial!". Interested in what it might be he enters. A beautiful nice receptionist welcomes him, when asked about the program she replies "In order to get started you've got to enter room one. It's a three day program, toda...

Your mom is so fat

Her school picture from first grade is still printing

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man and his wife were getting dressed for a big event. After putting on her dress, she asked her husband, "does this dress make my ass look fat?"

The husband sighed, and asked his wife, "Honey, do you promise me you won't get mad, no matter how I answer?"

His wife said, "I promise, I'll never bring it up again."

The husband looked her over and said, "I fucked your sister."

I'm either pregnant, or I'm getting fat.

Either way, a good set of stairs should solve my problem.

Yo mama so fat

her foot doesn't hurt when she steps on a Lego.

Your momma's so fat, last time she wore a glitter dress...

... the Hubble telescope thought it had discovered a new galaxy.

Then there was that lady at the party and she was so fat that everyone looked at her, but nobody said anything about her figure.

It felt like there was an elephant in the room.

What do you call it when a fat person gets an abortion?

Lifosuction

What do you call a racist with a fat ass?

thikkk

Daddy's Fat

Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?

"I have to do that, or dad's belly gets really fat, bouncing on his belly keeps him skinny."

That's not going to work.

"Why baby?"

Because the babysitter keeps blowing him up again!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Just bought the Missus a Pug dog. Despite the squashed eyes, rolls of fat and being ugly as fuck.

The Pug seems to like her.

How is fat acceptance a movement?

When nobody moves.

So was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, "caution, I'm a maneater".

I walked up to the girl and timidly said, "excuse me, Miss... about your shirt"

She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted; "Oh let me guess, you're here to make a comment about how I'm so fat and how I actually eat men.. I can't help my weight you know. I have feelings...

Why are there no fat astronauts?

lack of space

Your mom is so fat

Your mom is so fat I swerved to miss her and I ran out of gas.

Dear God, my prayer for 2019 is for a FAT bank account and a THIN body

Please don't mix it up like last year.

Why do fat people cause earthquakes

Because they’re always moving plates

I was kicked out of a fat people convention.

I tried to address the elephants in the room.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Your mum is so fat,

Shaggy has to use 46% of his power to help her up when she'd fallen.

Yo mamma so fat...

The only thing stopping her from joining the gym is the front door.

Your mom is so fat

Your mom is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.

Your mom so fat..

Her favorite necklace is the food chain

Your momma's so fat....

She saw a yellow bus full of white kids and screamed "FOLLOW THAT TWINKIE!!!"




god i miss middle school

Why are rich british people fat?

because they measure their wealth in pounds

Edit: Remember this is just a joke, don't be too offended.

Your momma so fat...

She got smaller fat people orbiting around her.

How many fat guys does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one more....

Why did the doctor think the fat guy had epilepsy?

He kept having Little Caesar's.

Yo momma so fat

Doctors say she has a flesh eating bacteria.....

She’ll only live for 75 more years.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I was talking to a fat lass with huge tits last night.

"My eyes are up here..." I said, as she looked down at the kebab in my hand

What blood type was the fat-thumbed stenographer?

Typo

I was chatting with a fat girl visiting from London. She said, "How would you Americans describe me?"

I tried to be nice so I said, "Perhaps just as a broad broad abroad."

Why should you just be honest to fat people?

Because if you sugarcoat the facts, they'll eat them too.

What do a pallet of bricks and a fat lady have in common?

Sooner or later they will both get laid by a Mexican...

Yo mama is so fat she deep fries her fingers before she bites her nails.

Random text here because in all honesty, who opens "yo mamma" jokes anymore?

Your mamas so fat...

She could end the government shutdown if we put her on the US/Mexico Border.

Yo Momma is So Fat and Old

The last time she went skydiving the dinosaurs went extinct.

What does a fat psychic give you?

A four-chin

What do you call a fat twitch streamer?

OBS

If you drink 2 glasses of Kale juice daily, it will destroy your belly fat and

Your desire to live too.

"Im fat, but I identify as skinny..

I guess you can call me Trans Fat!"

How can you tell if your girlfriend is getting fat ?

She fits into your wife's clothes.

Burning fat

Person 1:
I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes
Person 2: How?

Person 1: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.

A fat guy, a drunk and a US Marine are lost in the wilds of the jungle

They are captured by natives who tell the men of their plans to kill them, skin them and use their flesh to make canoes. The Cheif of the tribe explains they will first be grated a single gesture or item out of compassion.

The fat guy says that he has been lost in the jungle for weeks and has...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why do fat girls give better blowjobs?

They have to.

Yo mammas so fat,

China is planning on landing on her dark side!

Husband to his fat cute wife

You're my only investment that has doubled

There's no need to feel down when fat shamed.

Just keep your chins up and be the bigger man.

Your momma is so fat...

The souls of her feet are in hell.

Why do you not make fun of a fat girl with a lisp?

Because she is thick and tired of it.

Your momma so fat, the only people that will sleep with her are bikers....

They're used to riding hogs.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Big ol fat man at the YMCA...

There's a big ol fat man at the YMCA taking a shower...

You gotta take a shower before you get in to pool at the YMCA...

Big ol fat man is taking a shower and a little skinny dude walks in and says wooooo-weeeeee, how long has it been since you saw your dick?

Fat man says, loooo...

[Canadian joke] Yo mama so fat

... there must be a medical condition that is causing her to gain so much weight. People don't get that fat simply due to "eating wrong" or "eating too much." Be nice to her.

I wish I could see what it was like to be fat for just one day.

I'm tired of being fat every day.

I just watched a broke, fat dude lick pizza grease from his shirt for 10 minutes straight.

I need to stop eating in front of the mirror.

My doctor said don't eat anything fatty...

I said "what do you mean? Fries, steak, dessert?"

He said "No fatty. Don't eat anything."

My doctor told me to stay away from trans fats.

Guess I can’t go on tumblr anymore.

A fat man went to a fat farm

The staff told him, “there are three kinds of services, 200 dollars, 500 dollars and 1000 dollars respectively.”

The fat man paid 200 dollars. He was led to a very large room. There was nothing but a bikini beauty in the room. She said:”Try to catch me. If you catch me, I will make love with...

Enough with all the fat jokes guys!

Like, they already have enough on their plate!

Yo mama so fat...

She tried one of those escape rooms, but couldn't figure out how to get in.

My buddy goes to church to hit on fat chicks...

He said he really enjoys Catholic mass.

Well your momma so fat

That it's stopped being funny and is now a serious medical problem that we need to discuss son and that we as a family must deal with

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I was having an argument with a big fat ugly twat the other day and everything I said he repeated, this went on for over an hour, then I realised I was looking at a mirror.

On reflection, I suppose he was right.

My wife says she's too fat to be on the catwalk.

"You're a roll model," I told her.

Your momma is so fat...

Elon Musk wants to colonize her.

I used to rip it out of the fat kids.

Then I lost my job in liposuction.

Yo mama so fat...

she doesn’t have corn rows, she has crop circles.

Doctor, doctor I'm really fat and when I play music I crash through the wooden support.

It's just a stage you're going through

Yo mamma's so fat...

She had to get her drivers license photo from Google earth!

Your momma so fat

her blood type is Ragu.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A very fat man wants to lose weight

A very fat man wants to lose weight. After many failed attempts, he sees an ad:

Lose weight with pleasure!! Guaranteed results!!

Three diferrent packages:
Begginer: 20 pounds in 5 days
Intermediate: 40 pounds in 3 days
Advanced: 60 pounds in only 1 day!
...

"You're fat and you should exercise more!" said my wife.

So I answered, "Honey, just like me, our relationship doesn't work out."

What do you call an un-vaccinated fat kid?

Roly Polio

I'm fat because I hate wasting food.

Personally, I blame Africa.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Mary had a little pig, She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bastard.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Harvey Weinstein is so fat...

He's the only person in Hollywood that hasn't seen his dick.

He got #meethree'd

Yo Mama's so fat...

Yo Mama's so fat, even Spock thought she outweighed the needs of the many!

A lady looks into a mirror she says I look fat give me a compliment

The husband says at least you have good eyesight

What's a fat ghost's biggest fear?

Being exercised

Do you know how to find videos of fat people doing stupid stuff?

TikTok ads

Your mama's so fat...

When your dad said he wanted to see other people, he meant it literally.

She’s not fat

She’s just easy to see