Yo momma is so vegan and fat...

..that she ate a meal and got arrested for deforestation.

Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"...

O B C D...

How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat?

She fits in your wife’s clothes

What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

Fat. You get fat.


What? Like I would make a pie joke on my cake day?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Wife: Does this dress make me look fat? Me: You promise not to get mad no matter what i say? Wife: Yes

Me: I fucked your sister

Your mom is so fat

Your mom is so fat that, a group of people started believing that your mom is actually flat.

[EDIT] OMG, thanks for the Platinum

How do you get a fat chick in bed?

Piece of cake!

If a mass of beef fat is 'tallow', and mass of pig fat is 'lard', what is a mass of human fat called?

'American'.

Just kidding, it's actually called 'Yo Momma'.

​

You should never make fun of a a fat person with a lisp.

They’re probably thick and tired of it.

What do you call a fat psychic

A Four-chin teller

What do you call 2 fat goths?

Morbidly obese.


I know I shouldnt joke about obese people they've got enough on their plate.

Yo Mama's so fat...

She asked the Sorting Hat to put her in Waffle House.

Yo mama so fat

We are all concerned for her health, Kevin.

Yo momma's so fat, she's like a Boeing 737 Max 8.

At the slightest sign of trouble, she throws herself at the ground screaming, killing all 300 people riding her.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I bought a porn DVD today and all I could see was a dark image of some fat cunt sitting there holding his cock.

Then I realised the telly wasn't on.

If I'm fat but identify as thin,

Does that mean that I'm trans slender?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.


That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house a...

What do a fat prostitute and a baby chicken have in common?

They both go "cheap"

How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good?

Put a nipple on it.

Yo mama's so fat

Scientists still can't get a picture of her

yo mama so fat.... (that's right)

that the scientific community agreed your birth was conclusive evidence of the big bang

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she wont think twice..

Call a girl fat once and she’ll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

My friend gets offended when people tell fat jokes.

I told her to lighten up.

My parrot got so fat that it died.

It's a huge weight off my shoulder.

What do serial killers and fat girls on tinder have in common?

They both love to hide their bodies.

A wealthy dude walks into a pet store for people with fat wallets.

He explains that he's looking for a birthday present to his friend. And his friend happen to like birds, so he needs a parrot, a talented one of course.

​

Store owner says that he's got just a thing and takes him over to a huge stand with three exotic parrots.

&#x...

Yo mama's so fat

Her favorite game show is Wheel of Four Chins.

I was fat

and had a beer belly so big i couldn't see my toes. so i prayed to be able to see my toes again.

​

i can now proudly say i am the record holder for the largest feet in the world

Finally my winter fat is gone.

Now I have spring rolls .

What do you call a fat knight of the round table?

Sir Cumference

Yo mama so fat and so old

When god said let there be light, he told her to move out of the way

What do you call a fat person who identifies as skinny?

A trans-slender.

Your mother is so fat...

She wears the asteroid belt to keep her pants up.

Why do fat people lose so much at casino tables?

Because whenever they are out of chips they always grab more.

A fat woman was standing on the weighing scale while holding her stomach in.

“Um, I don’t think that’s going to help” said the husband.



To which the wife replies in a confused manner,
“Sure it does. How else I could see the numbers?”

The only difference between fit and fat is one letter

It's u

I told my ex-wife "Don't get upset if someone calls you fat" ...

"You're much bigger than that"

Yo mama so fat.

If someone kills her it's mass murder.

A guy asks his friend to rub some beef fat on his ribs

His friend refuses saying he won’t assist in a suet side!

(My first OC post, thought up while cooking dinner. Improvement suggestions welcome)

What do a pallet of bricks and a fat girl have in common?

Sooner or later they will get laid by a Mexican

Since i got fat, the only thing that goes down on me...

...is the computer chair in my office

God doesn't like fat people

That's why there's a stairway to heaven.

Did y'all hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite?

He just wanted to eat, drink and be Mary...

Inside every fat person theres a thin person trying to get out.

but outside every fat person theres a pizza waiting to get in.

Yo mamma so fat

I swerved in my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My girlfriend told me she was glad that she finally met a nice guy with a big dick and a fat wallet.

I should have never introduced her to my dad.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man and his wife were getting dressed for a big event. After putting on her dress, she asked her husband, "does this dress make my ass look fat?"

The husband sighed, and asked his wife, "Honey, do you promise me you won't get mad, no matter how I answer?"

His wife said, "I promise, I'll never bring it up again."

The husband looked her over and said, "I fucked your sister."

A fat person walks in the street

He sees a thin person and says: when I see you, I always think there’s hunger in your country. The thin person replies: and when I see you, I think it’s your fault!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call a fat weather man that studies penises?

A meaty-urologist

Your momma is so fat..

That she really needs to make an immediate lifestyle change. Heart disease is the number one killer in America. There is no better time than now to make a change before it’s too late.

“Daddy, why are you so fat?”

“Well, honey, being smart, handsome, rich, talented, AND thin just wouldn’t be fair, now would it?”

Yo momma's so fat

It took me three fingers to swipe left.

Yo mama is so fat

When she stepped on charcoal it became diamonds

Called my wife fat forever ago, and she's never let me live in down

That's cause elephants never forget

So was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, "caution, I'm a maneater".

I walked up to the girl and timidly said, "excuse me, Miss... about your shirt"

She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted; "Oh let me guess, you're here to make a comment about how I'm so fat and how I actually eat men.. I can't help my weight you know. I have feelings...

Yo mama so fat

I'm really concerned about her health, is she doing ok? I think she uses food as a coping mechanism. Let her know I'm here to talk if she needs support

Whenever I feel fat, I go into the store and buy a Mini Bic.

Each time, I get a little lighter.

A fat girl is sitting on a sidewalk crying, then a fairy comes and says,

"Why are you crying little girl.."

The fat girl responds, "All the kids are laughing at me for being fat!"

The fairy then says, "I will grant you one wish, I suppose your wish is t-" She is interrupted and the girl says

"I'd like 3 burgers and a large Coke!"

What did Beyonce say to the fat girl?

"...You ate all my pringles lady, all my pringles lady."

Yo mama so fat

Calculus still ain't been able to define the area under her curves

I'm either pregnant, or I'm getting fat.

Either way, a good set of stairs should solve my problem.

Your mom is so fat

Her school picture from first grade is still printing

Yo momma so fat

Her driver's license picture had to be taken by satellite

Your Momma so fat.......

Her flesh eating disease got diabetes.

What do you call an interesting piece of fat?

Avant Lard.

Yo mama so fat

her foot doesn't hurt when she steps on a Lego.

What’s the difference between a fat cow and your mother?

People will actually eat the cow.

Yo mamma so fat when she moves earth moves in opposite direction.

because it’s flat, you dumb genius.

What do you call a racist with a fat ass?

thikkk

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A fat man passes by a brothel..

... When he sees an advertisement sign stating "New weight loss program, free trial!". Interested in what it might be he enters. A beautiful nice receptionist welcomes him, when asked about the program she replies "In order to get started you've got to enter room one. It's a three day program, toda...

Why are rich british people fat?

because they measure their wealth in pounds

Edit: Remember this is just a joke, don't be too offended.

Your mom so fat..

Her favorite necklace is the food chain

Your momma's so fat, last time she wore a glitter dress...

... the Hubble telescope thought it had discovered a new galaxy.

Why do fat people cause earthquakes

Because they’re always moving plates

Daddy's Fat

Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?

"I have to do that, or dad's belly gets really fat, bouncing on his belly keeps him skinny."

That's not going to work.

"Why baby?"

Because the babysitter keeps blowing him up again!

Why are there no fat astronauts?

lack of space

Yo mamma so fat...

The only thing stopping her from joining the gym is the front door.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Just bought the Missus a Pug dog. Despite the squashed eyes, rolls of fat and being ugly as fuck.

The Pug seems to like her.

Dear God, my prayer for 2019 is for a FAT bank account and a THIN body

Please don't mix it up like last year.

Why did the doctor think the fat guy had epilepsy?

He kept having Little Caesar's.

How is fat acceptance a movement?

When nobody moves.

Yo momma so fat

Doctors say she has a flesh eating bacteria.....

She’ll only live for 75 more years.

I wish I could see what it was like to be fat for just one day.

I'm tired of being fat every day.

Why should you just be honest to fat people?

Because if you sugarcoat the facts, they'll eat them too.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Your mum is so fat,

Shaggy has to use 46% of his power to help her up when she'd fallen.

How many fat guys does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one more....

My doctor told me to stay away from trans fats.

Guess I can’t go on tumblr anymore.

Yo mama is so fat she deep fries her fingers before she bites her nails.

Random text here because in all honesty, who opens "yo mamma" jokes anymore?

What blood type was the fat-thumbed stenographer?

Typo