I asked my dad how the pork was.

He hit me against the head telling me not to talk about my stepmom that way.

What's the difference between a hot potato and a pork chop on the floor?

One is a heated yam and the other is a yeeted ham.

What is green and smells like pork

Kermit the Frogs fingers

I tried to make some slow cooked pork today

But I forgot to plug in the crock pot before I left for work.


It really sucked coming home to my wife giving me the cold shoulder.

When will people stop eating ground pork?

When pigs fly.

I've started investing in stocks. Beef, pork, chicken.

With any luck, someday I'll be a bullionaire.

I told my friend how i once ate 17 pork sandwiches.

he said i was full of baloney.

Why is working at a Pork Sausage factory the worst job?

Because every day is Ground Hog day.

- Waiter! Is this a beef or pork steak?

\- Can't you tell by the taste of it?

\- No!

\- Then why do you care?

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A priest and a rabbi are talking about their religions with one another. The priest leans over to the Rabbi and asks him if he’s ever eaten pork before....

The Rabbi says, “I’ve had it once.”

The priest says, “oh it’s fantastic, BBQ pulled pork is my favorite. You are really missing out.

The rabbi smirks and leans in and says to the priest, “well have you ever had sex before?”

Priest says,”yes I did once.”

Rabbi smiles an...

What do you call a stolen pig

Pulled pork

I have always loved animals,

Specifically chicken tenders, beef stroganoff, pork chops, and ribeye steak.

What is it called when the fat kid does karate?

Pork Chops

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Such a Weird Religion!

In a feast, a Catholic priest was sat next to a Jewish man.

The priest, who wanted to make fun of the Jew, put some bacon on his dish and said:

\- Sir, would you like some of this bacon?

\- Thanks, but don't you know pork is not allowed in my religion?

\- Wheeeew, such a ...

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Why are Muslims and Jews not allowed to eat bacon, which is pork at its best?

Because they also cannot handle pigs at their wurst.

There’s an email going around offering processed pork, gelatine and salt in a can.

If you get this email, don’t open it. It’s spam.

What do you call a Muslim that eats pork?

Mo' Ham Head

Ham Sandwich

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever ea...

What is the definition of the jewish dilemma?

Free pork

A Muslim Imam, after years of adherence to the Quran, begins to wonder what pork taste like...

He confesses this temptation to his wife who reaffirms that pork is strictly forbidden by their faith.



One evening, however, he gives in to his curiosity and buys a pulled pork slider on his way back from work. He finds a quiet bench in a nearby park and prepares to take a bite of his...

A Muslim guy's girlfriend was killed for eating pork

RIP Haram bae

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A girl a priest and a dog....

A little girl is walking her dog, when a priest comes along and says,
"Hello, little girl. What's your name?"
She says, "Rosepetal."
He says, "That's a nice name."
She says, "Yeah. When I was a little baby a
rose petal fell on my head and my daddy
called me Rosepetal ever since....

A Priest and a Rabbi are sitting next to each other on a flight, and the topic naturally turns to religion

The priest says, "I understand pork is forbidden in Judaism".

"That's correct", the Rabbi says.

Priest asks, "have you ever tried?"

"Well, I have to admit that yes, yes I have. I was traveling, and there were no Jewish communities nearby, so no Kosher food. I walked into a del...

Kermit Doesn’t Always Eat Pork

But when he does, he makes her shower first.

Everything we eat always seems to taste like chicken, beef or pork, except for snake.

That always tastes like my ex.

China has announced a tariff on pork imports from the US

It's unclear if they are referring to food or tourists at this time.

Pork Chop

Most people are confused when I tell them that me and my dad had a falling out over him cutting up my little Pork Chop.

I guess that they don’t understand the bond between man and dog.

A woman goes to a butcher and says

"I'll take some pork chops and make them lean"

"No problem", the butcher replies. "Which way"

A 1960s Soviet Couple is Looking to Buy Some Meat

An old married couple in Moscow wanted to celebrate their anniversary, and the wife sends her husband to the store to find meat. They are skeptical the store will have fresh meat, but it could be their last anniversary.

The old man waits in line for an hour. When he finally gets to the count...

I know Muslims can't eat pork.

Islam ok though?

What do you call a pig mixed with a dinosaur?

Jurassic Pork.

I’ll leave now.

What do you call someone who is in love with multiple hunks of pork?

Polyhamorous

What did the Brazilian pig say to the Canadian geese?

I'm pork you geese!

Why don't German pessimists eat pork....

They always fear the wurst.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pedro and Juan are stranded in the desert... (My favourite joke, [LONG])

After a day of walking, staggering, then crawling, they are thirsty, starving, and near death. They are about to give up when Juan exclaims,

“Pedro, look! At thee bottom of the dune... it’s an Oasis!”

Pedro struggles to bring his head up to look. “Juan... I think so my friend. I think...

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A duck walks into a bar...

He sits at the bar and requests 'A pint of beer and a pork pie please'

The barman is aghast. A talking duck! 'Wow, where did you come from?' he asks.

'I work across the road at the building site' replies the duck annoyed. He ruffles his newspaper and begins to read. The barman is in sh...

What do you get when you cross BBQ'ed pork with a gigantic sea monster?

Release the Kracklen!

Is that a bacon tree I see?

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure sme...

Beware the Bacon Tree.

Two men wanted to be the first ones to cross a large desert near their home town. Everyone who has ever tried had either returned exhausted and near death, or hadn't returned at all. Because of this, the men knew that they needed to seek guidance. They had heard of a shaman who would give advice to ...

A man walks into a bar and asks for a pint and a Pork pie.

The barman gives him his pint, and a nice fresh pork pie. He drinks his pint, picks up his pork pie, puts it on the top of his head and walks out, carefully balancing it on his noggin.

About 10 minutes later, he returns and goes to the bar. Again, the man asks for a pint and a pork pie.
<...

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Why can't Rabbis eat pork and Priests can't have sex?

Because the Rabbis got to choose first.

TIL Muslim extremists do not like pulled pork sandwiches.

whoops, wrong sub.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mary had a little pig, She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bastard.

Don't drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell.

Priest - Don't drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell.
Alcoholic - Is it? What about the guy who sells the liquor?
Priest - He will also go to Hell.
Alcoholic - Ok, what about the guy who sells pork tacos in the food truck outside the Liquor Store?
Priest - He too will go to Hell....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian are all best friends

A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian are all best friends. They have this tradition of meeting up at a certain coffee shop and talking about this and that while they eat their collective favorite desert; cherry pie.

One day, as the friends are enjoying their cherry pie, the topic of who’s religio...

The Worst Bar on the Beach

Ben and his friends decided to visit the worst bar on the beach in Clearwater, FL.

The beer was warm, the food was bad, and the service was terrible. But all across the ceiling, various types of meet were displayed- turkey, bacon, ham, pork loin- you name it.

But Ben persevered and m...

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What do you call a cop’s penis after he’s done masturbating?

Pulled pork.

Did you hear about the kid that got a skin graft from a pig?

Pork kid

I just found out 7 people per 1 million born are named Bacon

Pork Kids

Why do pigs have a ring through their nose?

To make pulled pork.

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Jerk chicken and pulled pork...

The owner of my favorite restaurant was arrested for beastiality..

That explains why jerk chicken and pulled pork were the only two menu items.

I had a Cuban sandwich for lunch today

Just tasted like pork

Kermit the frog wanted to divorce Ms. Piggy

Due to him converting to Islam, he couldn't eat pork.

What do you call arranging two pigs shoulder to shoulder?

Parallel porking

a miracle

A rabbi walks through a Jewish town and then he spots a fat guy who is eating pork. The rabbi is upset and prays, whishing for the fat guy to be sick from eating this "un-clean" food.
After few minutes the rabbi changes his mind: he realized he was too strict: so he prays, prays very hard to un...

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