I tried to make some slow cooked pork today

But I forgot to plug in the crock pot before I left for work.


It really sucked coming home to my wife giving me the cold shoulder.

What is the difference between a hot potato and a pork chop on the floor?

One is a heated yam and the other one is a yeeted ham.

When will people stop eating ground pork?

When pigs fly.

I told my friend how i once ate 17 pork sandwiches.

he said i was full of baloney.

Why is working at a Pork Sausage factory the worst job?

Because every day is Ground Hog day.

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A priest and a rabbi are talking about their religions with one another. The priest leans over to the Rabbi and asks him if he’s ever eaten pork before....

The Rabbi says, “I’ve had it once.”

The priest says, “oh it’s fantastic, BBQ pulled pork is my favorite. You are really missing out.

The rabbi smirks and leans in and says to the priest, “well have you ever had sex before?”

Priest says,”yes I did once.”

Rabbi smiles an...

What’s green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs fist

I've started investing in stocks. Beef, pork, chicken.

With any luck, someday I'll be a bullionaire.

- Waiter! Is this a beef or pork steak?

\- Can't you tell by the taste of it?

\- No!

\- Then why do you care?

There’s an email going around offering processed pork, gelatine and salt in a can.

If you get this email, don’t open it. It’s spam.

What do you call a Muslim that eats pork?

Mo' Ham Head

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A duck walks into a bar...

He sits at the bar and requests 'A pint of beer and a pork pie please'

The barman is aghast. A talking duck! 'Wow, where did you come from?' he asks.

'I work across the road at the building site' replies the duck annoyed. He ruffles his newspaper and begins to read. The barman is in sh...

A Muslim guy's girlfriend was killed for eating pork

RIP Haram bae

Everything we eat always seems to taste like chicken, beef or pork, except for snake.

That always tastes like my ex.

A Muslim Imam, after years of adherence to the Quran, begins to wonder what pork taste like...

He confesses this temptation to his wife who reaffirms that pork is strictly forbidden by their faith.



One evening, however, he gives in to his curiosity and buys a pulled pork slider on his way back from work. He finds a quiet bench in a nearby park and prepares to take a bite of his...

Kermit Doesn’t Always Eat Pork

But when he does, he makes her shower first.

China has announced a tariff on pork imports from the US

It's unclear if they are referring to food or tourists at this time.

Pork Chop

Most people are confused when I tell them that me and my dad had a falling out over him cutting up my little Pork Chop.

I guess that they don’t understand the bond between man and dog.

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb,

Mary had a little lamb and then she had some pork

I know Muslims can't eat pork.

Islam ok though?

What do you call someone who is in love with multiple hunks of pork?

Polyhamorous

What does smoking cure?

Pork

What do you get when you cross BBQ'ed pork with a gigantic sea monster?

Release the Kracklen!

Why don't German pessimists eat pork....

They always fear the wurst.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't Rabbis eat pork and Priests can't have sex?

Because the Rabbis got to choose first.

TIL Muslim extremists do not like pulled pork sandwiches.

whoops, wrong sub.

A man walks into a bar and asks for a pint and a Pork pie.

The barman gives him his pint, and a nice fresh pork pie. He drinks his pint, picks up his pork pie, puts it on the top of his head and walks out, carefully balancing it on his noggin.

About 10 minutes later, he returns and goes to the bar. Again, the man asks for a pint and a pork pie.
<...

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A man walks into a restaurant

A man walks into a restaurant at lunchtime and is accosted by three women by the door - one Chinese, one Japanese and one Korean.

"Hey guy! Try the barbecue pork fried rice! Number one dish!" proclaims the Chinese woman.

"No no, you want the unagi udon! Best taste!" yells the Japanes...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl a priest and a dog....

A little girl is walking her dog, when a priest comes along and says,
"Hello, little girl. What's your name?"
She says, "Rosepetal."
He says, "That's a nice name."
She says, "Yeah. When I was a little baby a
rose petal fell on my head and my daddy
called me Rosepetal ever since....

What do you call it when a pig does karate?

Pork chop

A priest asks a rabbi, "when are you going to finally try pork?"

The rabbi replies, "At your wedding friend,"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jerk chicken and pulled pork...

The owner of my favorite restaurant was arrested for beastiality..

That explains why jerk chicken and pulled pork were the only two menu items.

A man walks into a bar with a pork pie on his head.

The barman asks, "Why are you wearing a pork pie on your head?"

The man replies, "It's a family tradition. We always wear pork pies on our heads on Tuesday."

The barman remarks, "But it's Wednesday."

Sheepishly, the man says, "Man, I must look like a real fool."

A woman goes to a butcher and says

"I'll take some pork chops and make them lean"

"No problem", the butcher replies. "Which way"

A Priest and a Rabbi are sitting next to each other on a flight, and the topic naturally turns to religion

The priest says, "I understand pork is forbidden in Judaism".

"That's correct", the Rabbi says.

Priest asks, "have you ever tried?"

"Well, I have to admit that yes, yes I have. I was traveling, and there were no Jewish communities nearby, so no Kosher food. I walked into a del...

A 1960s Soviet Couple is Looking to Buy Some Meat

An old married couple in Moscow wanted to celebrate their anniversary, and the wife sends her husband to the store to find meat. They are skeptical the store will have fresh meat, but it could be their last anniversary.

The old man waits in line for an hour. When he finally gets to the count...

What do you get when you play tug-of-war with a pig?

Pulled pork

What do you call a pig mixed with a dinosaur?

Jurassic Pork.

I’ll leave now.

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Pedro and Juan are stranded in the desert... (My favourite joke, [LONG])

After a day of walking, staggering, then crawling, they are thirsty, starving, and near death. They are about to give up when Juan exclaims,

“Pedro, look! At thee bottom of the dune... it’s an Oasis!”

Pedro struggles to bring his head up to look. “Juan... I think so my friend. I think...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked,

"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on...

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