When I was young, I brought a pie to the USA, a pie to Russia, and a pie to North Korea.

All because my maths teacher told me to carry pie to 3 dismal places.

A slice of pie in Jamaica is $2.75 and a slice of pie in the Bahamas is $3.50

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean

A piece of pumpkin pie costs $2.00 in Jamaica and $2.45 in Barbados.

These are the pie rates of the Carribean.

Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory?

Because they have such a high turnover rate!

Why did the apple pie go to the dentist?

Because it needed a filling!

What letter can be made into a pie?

P can

Where do you weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow.

A baker was putting pies in an oven. The first pie says to the other "It's kinda hot in here."

The second pie says "AAHHH A TALKING PIE!"

What do you get when you eat 3.14 pies?

Fat. You get fat.

What? Like I would make a pie joke on my cake day?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's great on pie but terrible on pussy...?

Crust

What the difference between cake and pie?

Put a candle on a cake and it’s a party.

Put a candle on a pie and someone’s drunk in the kitchen.

A Viking is out shopping when he comes across an old woman in a wheelchair crying.

"What's wrong?" asks the Viking.

"Well," the woman says, wiping her tears, "I have been living on my own for many months now, and my daughter and son-in-law have at last come to visit me. My daughter has brought me along on this shopping trip, but it's the first time I've really been out and ...

What’s the difference between pie and cake?

π r². Cakes are round.

Happy cake day to me.

What's the most expensive pie in Texas?

Creampie.

Chicken pot pie

My three favourite things!

What's a Hill-billies favorite kind of pie?

Pump-kin

π r2

No. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.

Pricey Pies

Did you know a pork pie in Aruba costs $1.50? A cheese and spinach pie will cost you $2.60 in Barbados. An apple pie is only $1.30 in Jamaica whereas a pecan pie will set you back $3.50 in Grenada.



And those are the pie rates of the Carribean.

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Obama went to meet Putin in Moscow…

…After dinner at the kremlin, Putin asks Obama to join him in a separate room. He leads Obama into a white room with three red buttons and a two- way mirror, and he closes the door behind him.

Not knowing what to do, Obama decides to press the first button. He pressed it and a giant boxing gl...

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George claims that his dick is the "Hardest Dick In The World!"

George will pay anyone $5000 cash to anyone who can bring him something absolutely harder than his dick.


One man brings a basketball-sized boulder. George easily smashes the boulder with his dick. The man picks up the boulder pieces and angrily walks off.


A second man brings a ...

Not much of a man…

An old, grizzled truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.

One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one spat in the trucker's coffee, an...

Chicken pie in the Bahamas...

A chicken pie in the Bahamas costs $7, while a shepherd's pie, in Jamaica, costs $8. But a mushroom pie in Bermuda only costs $3.

That's right.

Those are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

So I was baking a premade pie and the instructions told me to put it in the oven at 180 degrees.

Now I'm left with an upside down pie in an oven.

Why does pirate likes to eat pie?

Because PIE RATING is in their job description.

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I used to think that clowns doing the 1930’s cream pie gag was hilarious

Until I realized that I too have also been creampied by clowns

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I went into the cafe for lunch today and ordered the nicest looking thing on the menu, home-cooked steak pie. After taking the first bite, I called the owner over. "This is cold!", I complained..

"Well of course it is." She replied, "I live fucking miles away."

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The Three Stooges are spending the night in a haunted house... and get up to their usual eye-poking, nyuk-nyuking, slapstick shenanigans. In the middle of the pie fight, a poltergeist appears. Curly throws a cream pie and it turns around in midair and smacks him right in the face!

He turns to Moe and says, "Hey, I think that ghost must have been from Australia."
"Oh yeah, why?"
"Because it just threw a Boo-Meringue at me!"

What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

Diabetes.

What?, did you really think I was gonna make a pie joke on my cake day?

^btw ^I ^waited ^1 ^whole ^year ^to ^tell ^this ^joke

Eating too much cake is a sin of gluttony

However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.

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When I was a teen, i'd have sex with all types of food. Pies, watermelons, bananas.... come to think of it, fruit were the best for sex.

Except lemons. Never touched those. Didn't wanna get lemonaids.

My favourite childhood memory is making mud pies with my grandad.

Until mom found out and hid the urn.

I went to the Doctors

I went to The doctors the other day and he told me to lose some weight and not to eat anything fatty

I said what like pies chips and burgers ,He said no just don’t eat anything fatty

I love pie.

I could eat it 22/7.

I want to open a restaurant called Pi.

All the food is round, but the pie are square.

What's the difference between pie and cake?

πr^2, but cake are round.

yup, waited about 4 months to post this.

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Siamese twins walk into a bar in Australia...

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Australia and park themselves on a bar stool.
One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Fosters beers, draft please."
The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pour...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which Pie takes 9 months to Bake?

A cream pie!!!

What’s the difference between a pie and a cobbler?

One’s a dessert and the other makes shoes.

In Jamaica pies cost $4.76, in the Cuba pies cost $3.89, and in Haiti pies cost $3.23.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

Someone told me today is Pie day

Sounds great. I love cake!

BREAKING NEWS: Missing Child Spotted With Pied Piper Of Hamelin

More to follow

Couldn't find any round pies for Pi Day!

My baker insists pie are squared

My friend is blindly in love with pie.

I don't what to do with his irrational relations.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s amore

When you suddenly squeal 'cause you stepped on an eel that’s a moray!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the Quaker man's favorite after dinner delight?

Oatmeal cream pie

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know what a baby is?

It is just a fully baked cream pie

I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie,

but some people say that’s irrational.

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Today I used an apple pie to masturbate

Maybe I should've left the store before.

Whenever my Muslim roommate goes to pray, I sit next to him with some apple pie and ice cream.

Then both of us are in A La mode.

Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie?

He's a squashbuckling pirate

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heard on the Underground

A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers...
1) "Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cro...

A new business in town

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I just opened a pioneering business," the guy says. "So, what do you actually do?" the bartender asks. "I just told you," the guy replies. "I sell pie and earrings."

The pie is a trifle tart,

the cake on the other hand is just right.

I thought I saw some pie and a gold medal. I was half correct.

Turns out it was a piece of cake.

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Three construction workers, an Australian, a Finn and a Swede, are sitting on a beam on the tenth floor about to have their lunch.

The Australian opens his lunch box and says "Bloody hell - meat pies again! Every day it's bloody meat pies! If I get meat pies again tomorrow, I'm going to jump!"

The Finn opens up his lunch next. "Saatana! Makkara (sausage) again! Always sausages! If I get sausage tomorrow, I'm gonna jump t...

What is an Australian ghost's favorite pie?

Boo meringue

What do you call a pie without 3.14?

2.718

I drive around and sell pies. Key lime for $8 and pecan pie for $10.

Those are the pie rates of the car I be in.

The cheap date

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "My girlfriend keeps complaining how cheap I am, so today out of the blue I surprised her by taking her out for drinks and cookies and pie," he tells the bartender. "Was she surprised?" the bartender asks. "I definitely think so," the guy replies. "Turns out...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last night, I had sex with a piece of pie.

Guess it's now a creampie

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of guys walk into a new bar for the first time. The barkeep asks what they will be having tonight. [L]

The first guy orders a whiskey coke. The bartender without hesitation hands the man a chilled apple. The man confused by this asks why he is getting the apple. The bartender insists that he takes a bite out of it.

The man chomps into it and exclaims, “Wow! This tastes just like my favorite wh...

Did you know that Cherry Pie is $15 in Barbados but only $10 in Antigua?

Arrr. Those be the Pie rates of the Caribbean today.

Why did the waitress say when Rick Astley asked to fast track his order of apple pie and vanilla ice cream?

I"m never gonna run around and dessert you.

My wife sat down with half a pie before dinner.

Me: Are you really planning to eat pie before dinner?

Her: Its only half a pie.

Me: Its still irrational.

A six-year-old said grace at family dinner one evening. "Dear God, thank You for the pancakes."

When she concluded, her mother asked her why she thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken-pot-pie.

She smiled and said, "I thought I would check to see if He was paying attention."

A billboard advertising a pie shop read...

'Just 3.14 miles away. '

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A slice of coconut cream pie is $2.50 in Barbados. It is $2.75 in Trinidad & Tobago. $3.25 on St. Thomas

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

What's the difference between Cake and Pie?

Pi day is the same for everyone yet it's only my Cake day today!

Ok... So there might be a few other redditors sharing my day... Happy Cake Day!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If someone with a severe banana allergy eats a banana cream pie....

Will they go into bananaphylactic shock?

It’s my cake day and no one cares

I feel caked…pied….I mean desserted

Finger in the Pie

I robbed a pastry shop in Lombardy

and ended up in custardy

How can you tell if someone spiked your chocolate pie with alcohol?

The proof is in the pudding.

What have I named the Pie section of my bakery menu?

Treasure Hunter cus its full of Pie-Rates

What’s a Muslim’s favorite pie topping?

Allah mode

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Oatmeal Cream Pie

The most disturbing category in the Grannie Porn collection.

I dropped my pie on the apartment stairs

Now it’s some where between three and four

The first time Snoop Dogg bought a pot pie he was probably very disappointed.

I’m sorry but I thought of this and nearly peed myself

What’s the opposite of Sad Pie Night?

You tell me ;)

I was held captive by some French-Canadian terrorists...

They forced me to eat hundreds of meat pies.

It was tourtière.

What's the problem eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?

You'll get autumn'y ache.

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