UPJOKE
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French Fries aren't actually fried in France.

They're fried in Greece.
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Where was the first chicken fried?

In Greece.
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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREF...

I'm a 5G installation engineer and people are constantly accusing me with bizarre conspiracy theories, such as how 5G is giving them headaches, or killing their sperm. I think they are completely crazy.

4G must've fried their brains.
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Sam Bankman-Fried has been arrested

He is now Sam Bankman-Jailed
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Who is a deep fried rodentā€™s favourite actor?

Chris Pratt
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I never order shrimp-fried rice.

Call me old fashioned, but I like my food to be prepared by a human.
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Cardinal: Your holiness, do you like fried chicken?

Pope:yes
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Why do black people eat fried chicken?

Because it tastes good.

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What do you call a Japanese deep fried mattress?

A Tempura-Pedic

I am a fried nut

A string walks into a bar, and the bartender's all like "HEY, WE DON'T SERVE STRING IN HERE". Now obviously this makes the string very angry, so he goes outside and just goes CRAZY. He's rolling around, punching walls, hitting the ground, and by the time he's finally tired out he got himself all tie...
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An Oriental man was sitting in a restaurant in Chinatown when a Jew suddenly came up and tipped a bowl of fried rice over his head.

"That's for Pearl Harbour" , said the Jew.
"But I'm Chinese", cried the man. The Jew was unrepentant. "Chinese, Siamese, Japanese, you're all the same!" At this, the Chinaman picked up his plate of sweet and sour chicken and threw it over the Jew.
"That's for sinking the Titanic", shouted the...

What is the difference between organic fried chicken and GMO fried chicken?

It's CRISPR.
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What would Napoleon Bonaparte's fried chicken restaurant be called?

The French Fries
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I like fried chick peas....

But I dont think it agrees with me. Everytime I eat them I Falafel.
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The Longest Memory in the World

One day, a young man takes a trip out West and comes across a little Native American village. He decides, what the heck, he'll stop and look around. One of the Native women, seeing that he's not from around, tells the man he should visit the Chief, who she says has the longest and best memory in the...
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My boss asked me why I left a bucket of fried chicken on his doorstep

I told him I was tendering my resignation
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How is a woman like Kentucky Fried Chicken?

When you are finished with the breast and the thigh, you have a greasy box to stick your bone in.
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Where do cannibals go to eat deep fried food?

The battered women's shelter
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Some people love deep fried pork rind, somw hate it.

To Chicharron.
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What do science and deep fried food at the Texas State Fair have in common?

At their core, both concepts ask if you could but not if you should
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I tried starting a unisex cooking group focused on fried foods

But no one will join me in "The Battered Men & Women's Club"

Smart

A young boy is sitting in front of a diner when a large man approaches him.
"Ex-ex-ex-c-u... pardon me, d-d-d-do you know izi-iz-iz the fo-fo-fo-food good here?"
The young boy Scruggs his shoulders.
"W-w-w-well th-th-th-thanks anyw-w-way." The man says and walks away.
The young boy's mot...
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Man: Why should I stop eating deep fried cheese because you heard something in your horoscope?

Doctor: Once again, itā€™s stethoscope.
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Waiter: Sir I have Stewed Liver, Fried Kidney, Boiled Toungue and Frozen Legs.

Dude: Stop listing your problems man. Just give me the menu.
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Finally realized why Americans are addicted to fried foods

They're one of the world's most well-known locations of proven oil reserves
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New in the fast-food market: Oedipus Fried Chicken

>!It's motherfucking good!!<

[NSFW] What does China and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

Cleaning up the bloody mess by spraying it down the drain
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What country does fried fish swim in?

Greece!

(courtesy of my ten year old)
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What do serial killers and people who eat fried chicken have in common?

They both think the skin is the best part.
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Colonel Sanders was on his deathbed and all his family were sitting around his bed.

ā€œYou must tell us the secret ingredient so we can continue to sell your fried chickenā€ said his oldest child.

The Colonel barely able to move , beckoned his oldest child to him , ā€œcomeā€¦ā€ he whispered before suddenly dying.

And they havenā€™t changed the recipe since.

Sorry, I mad...
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If you had a Fried Egg for breakfast yesterday, what should you have today?

A Sattered Egg.
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It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!"

So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.
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A Kentucky Fried Chicken lobbyist meets with the Pope.

He offers a donation of ten million dollars to the church if the Pope agrees to change the words in the Lordā€™s Prayer from ā€œgive us this day our daily breadā€ to ā€œgive us this day our daily chickenā€

The Pope apologizes and says he is not interested.

ā€œ100 million dollarsā€, says the KFC r...
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