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Burgers Jokes

It’s kind of silly we’re trying turning plants into burgers

Haven’t cows been doing that for like, forever?

I asked Jeffery Dahmer if he wanted to go out for burgers...

…but he told me said he’s good; he’s got Five Guys at home.

There's beef burgers made out of beef, and chicken burgers made out of chicken, but no burgers made out of pork.

They could call it a hamburger.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I take my anal the same way I take my burgers

Smashed and involving Five Guys

I went to see the doctor today and he said to me, "Don't eat anything fatty."

I said, "What - no bacon or sausages or burgers or anything?"

He said, "No fatty, just don't eat anything."

I was going to grill some burgers later

But I dropped the patties and now we're having ground beef

I put out a poll to see if anyone out there was interested in insect based burgers.

All I’m hearing is crickets!

I left some burgers sitting in my fridge since the horse-meat scandal.

AND THEY'RE OFF!!

A woman tells her doctor she can't seem to lose any weight.

He says, "Oh, no problem, just don't eat anything fatty."

She goes, "You mean like burgers and fries?"

He goes, "No. Don't eat anything. Fatty."

Buying burgers is like dating.

If you get the ones with more fat, you’ll enjoy more flavor, but if you get the leaner ones, you’ll look better.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do female pornstars and burgers have in common?

Both have seed on their buns

What does cooking burgers and wives have in common?

When the blood starts oozing out you flip them over to the brown side.

One day when I was young, I watched my father grilling burgers.

When they were done, he handed me one telling me it was a bison burger.

He than left, and never came back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do veggie burgers and dildos have in common?

They both are meat substitutes

Hey, has anyone seen the new deer burgers they sell at Walmart?

I heard they only cost a buck.

Where do burgers go to dance?

The meatball.

I bought a pet snake. He’s a very picky eater. Only eats burgers, hot dogs, and sloppy joes.

Apparently, my anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hon.

My dentist told me to stop eating burgers.

This left me in shock. "Why?" I said.
"Beacuse Im trying to fix your teeth and its in my way"

You can imagine my surprise when I saw James Bond making burgers in the park

I guess he had a licence to grill

Why are Wendy's burgers so good?

Because they don't cut corners.

Why are people from Alabama so good at making burgers?

Because they know alot about things that are in-bred.

Never forget the pickle on your burgers

It's kind of a big dill

Did you hear about the line of veggie burgers released by Greta Van Fleet?

They are 100% plant-based.

I like my jokes like I like my burgers.

Cheesy.

What do you call a rapper duck that likes burgers?

MC Donald.

What happens when you eat burgers with onions?

Bunions.

(written by my 25 year old girlfriend)

Where do Communists go to get burgers?

Czechers.

How does the enthusiastic chef serve his burgers?

With relish

A djinn visits three greedy men.

There were three men, an American, a German and an Indian. From thin air a djinn appears. He asks them one item they would love to consume.

The American says Cheese burgers, so the djinn puts him in a prison cell with years worth of cheese burgers inside and locks him up.

The German sa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend told me this joke a while ago, and I thought that it was pretty good:

A man goes to a restaurant and sits down to eat.

The waiter comes by and asks him what he would like to eat.

The man says, “I’ll have one of your world-famous burgers with lettuce and onions on it.”

The waiter responds, “I’m sorry sir, but we’re fresh out of onions.”

“Oh,...

What do you call a cow if he enjoys burgers?

A cannibull

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