UPJOKE
hamburgercheeseburgersandwichpizzasteaktacoburritosausagemeatbeefporkfriesburgerswhoppersushi

I put out a poll to see if anyone out there was interested in insect based burgers.

All I’m hearing is crickets!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I take my anal the same way I take my burgers

Smashed and involving Five Guys

I was going to grill some burgers later

But I dropped the patties and now we're having ground beef

Today I ate 7 Burgers

That's odd.

It’s kind of silly we’re trying turning plants into burgers

Haven’t cows been doing that for like, forever?

I was feeling poorly so I went to the doctors. After a thorough investigation, he said “don’t eat anything fatty”. I asked “Do you mean fries, burgers, etc?”

He replied “No! Don’t eat anything, FATTY!”

There's beef burgers made out of beef, and chicken burgers made out of chicken, but no burgers made out of pork.

They could call it a hamburger.

I bought a pet snake. He’s a very picky eater. Only eats burgers, hot dogs, and sloppy joes.

Apparently, my anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hon.

Hey, has anyone seen the new deer burgers they sell at Walmart?

I heard they only cost a buck.

My kids were hungry so I made them burgers from scratch.

They got really upset and started to cry.

Scratch is a stupid name for a cat anyway..

One day when I was young, I watched my father grilling burgers.

When they were done, he handed me one telling me it was a bison burger.

He than left, and never came back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do female pornstars and burgers have in common?

Both have seed on their buns

You can imagine my surprise when I saw James Bond making burgers in the park

I guess he had a licence to grill

What does cooking burgers and wives have in common?

When the blood starts oozing out you flip them over to the brown side.

when I worked at Wendy's, the company insisted that whoever made the burgers must draw the mustard onto the bun as a "W"

but I would draw the mustard onto burgers as an "M" and no one ever found out.

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What do veggie burgers and dildos have in common?

They both are meat substitutes

I go to the store and buy ten hotdogs, nine burgers, three bags of chips, and six sodas. If I eat nine hot dogs, seven burgers, three bags of chips, and drink five sodas, what do I have?

No self control

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My girlfriend and I broke up bc I couldn’t handle that she likes her sex like she likes her burgers....

5 Guys

Buying burgers is like dating.

If you get the ones with more fat, you’ll enjoy more flavor, but if you get the leaner ones, you’ll look better.

Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day...

The first one says "My daddy is so cool he can eat four burgers at one meal".

The second one says "That's nothing. My daddy can eat six".

Little Jonny starts laughing and says "My Daddy can eat light bulbs".

The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. They ask him...

Did you hear about the line of veggie burgers released by Greta Van Fleet?

They are 100% plant-based.

I left some burgers sitting in my fridge since the horse-meat scandal.

AND THEY'RE OFF!!

Where do burgers go to dance?

The meatball.

My friend Nick is known as the grill master amongst us, but his ground burgers are undeniably the best.

He's got a real Nick knack patty whack!

Why do anacondas like hamburgers?

Cause it got buns, hun

My dentist told me to stop eating burgers.

This left me in shock. "Why?" I said.
"Beacuse Im trying to fix your teeth and its in my way"

Why are Wendy's burgers so good?

Because they don't cut corners.

What do you call a rapper duck that likes burgers?

MC Donald.

I like my jokes like I like my burgers.

Cheesy.

Never forget the pickle on your burgers

It's kind of a big dill

I always order my burgers from Sonic

He always gets them to me the fastest

What do you call a cow if he enjoys burgers?

A cannibull

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