This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Pillsbury Dough Boy has died...

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.

He was 71.

Doughb...

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

Doughnuts.

My wife just got done making some cookie dough.

Wife: "Do you want to lick clean one of the beaters?"
Me: "Does it have raw egg in it?"
Wife: "It does..."
Me: "Well, I could get sick... But that's a whisk I'm willing to take."

I brought some cookie dough into work today...

...so I could use the oven there to bake some cookies for all the staff, but everyone gave me dirty looks when I put them in and turned the oven on.

My boss said I was "insensitive" and "fired from the crematorium".

I ate too much cookie dough and got sick

It was an overdoughse.

What do you call it when the Pillsbury dough boy smokes weed?

He gets baked.

What did the Gen Z baker yell when he tossed the dough?

YEEST

If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read "Pills bury dough boy"

Credit to my friend Chris

Why can’t the pilsbury dough boy get a hooker?

They keep getting yeast infections

A baker was kneading some dough...

...and as he kneaded, he counted each fold, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, twelve..."

The baker's wife interrupted, "You missed one there."

"No I didn't," replied the baker. "I'm making uneleavened bread."

What did the bread dough say to the lonely baker?

It’s nice to be kneaded

Girl, your booty is like dough...

I knead it.

Why can't cookies dough hold a steady job?

Because it's always getting baked.

As a baker, dough is not just something that I want

It's something that I knead

I really want to make a joke about unfinished dough

But its not kneaded.

The best pizza I ever had was just a plain dough base

Nothing topped that.

What did the countertop say to the pizza dough?

You're so kneady.

Did you know that dough is necessary to have bread?

In other words: you knead dough to make bread

A depressed French baker sobs bitterly into the dough...

His life is pain.

My sister while kneading dough:

"This hand workout dough!"

A muffin and dough and are having a conversation.

And the muffin says, "Dude, everything is energy man; it's all energy swirling around. Good energy, and bad energy, and it all depends on what energy you tap into. It's like the planets and electrons and stuff; everything is swirling."
The dough replies, "Dude, you're baked."

How do you unlock a door made of dough

With a cookey

The Big Pizza Place

There was once this really big pizza place, so big that each job was assigned to one person; one person put the pizza in the oven, one guy put on the toppings, and so forth. Well there was this one guy who worked by pushing his hands into the dough and making sure that it was the right shape. Day in...

A baker was training his protege in the kitchen.

The protege gets hungry and starts eating some dough he found on the counter. The baker gets mad and yells, "Hey! I kneaded that!"

Pillsbury Dough Boy obit

Please join me in remembering YET ANOTHER great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Dough Boy was survived by his wife Play Dough, three children, John Dough, Jane Dough,...

"Look, I know I'm just a deep dish filled with dough, tomato sauce, and mozzarella cheese... But you should really reconnect with your father."

"Hey! That's a little personal, pan pizza!"

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My brother has this really annoying habit of telling me about other girls butts. [OC]

My brother has this really annoying habit of telling me about other girls butts. Whenever we are walking in public and he sees a girl he likes, he always says, “Look at that ass tho.”

After years of getting fed up with his comments, I decide to make him a sculpture for his birthday. I carved ...

Why couldn’t the owner of the pizza joint retire?

He kneaded the dough.

Music producers are basically like a pizza business.

They both make dough from mixers.

What did the donut say to the loaf of bread?

If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn't be hanging around this hole!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Johnny sells a duck

One day a farmer decides to sell 3 of his ducks. He gives one to each of his sons, Billy, Bobby and Johnny and tells them to go to market and see what they can get for the ducks.

So Billy goes to market and comes back, and he says to his dad “hey dad!! I got ten bucks for that duck!” “Very go...

I got a lifetime supply of bread!

You'd think I'd say I'm rolling in dough, right? Well I am actuality a very lucky Soviet in 1936.

A truck load of Tylenol spills onto a baker’s assistant in a terrible crash

The headline read: ‘Pills bury dough boy.’

The New Market on the Corner

A new market opened up in Bill's neighborhood, so he decided to go down and see what they had for sale.

Inside appeared to be different produce stands, but, strangely, all he saw were bakery stuffs on the shelves. One was covered in pies and labeled "Pineapple Pies - $2/lb." Another was cover...

A man walks in a bakery

in which the baker has only one hand. The customer see the baker rolls out the pizza dough on his chest because he has only one hand. So the surprised customer asks:" Damn, is this the way you make the pizza?", the bakery answers:"Oh man, you didn't see how i make donuts!"

A Good Mother

A good mom will always let her child lick the cookie dough after she's finished mixing it.

The best mom will switch the mixer off first.

​

(This was a joke translated from Russian that my mom always told me. She was a pretty good mom ;( )

Why did the bakery install a security system?

To protect the dough!

You know, i get really excited about pastries.

I guess you could say im a dough nut.

Why are millionaires sticky?

Because they're rolling in dough.

I work as a mortician, and recently had a case of an unidentified murder victim who was killed in a bakery

I had to mark him down as a Jon dough.in the file.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Did you hear? They opened a pizza place in the Vatican!

It’s called Cheesus Crust.

They only use Swiss cheese Because it’s so holy.

Their most famous topping is pope-peroni.

They’re really famous for their dough.
It takes three days to rise.

They only serve seeded olives.
Because they’re afraid of the pit.

Their...

Gatti's Pizza has declared bankruptcy.

They're all out of dough!

Trump’s Least Favorite Picture Book

Where’s Wall Dough?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What does a horny baker use to pleasure themselves?

They use a Dill-Dough

Making pizza is like smoking weed

You need dough to get baked

Pizzerias are quite rich.

They got plenty of dough.

What did the pizzeria owner say while having withdrawals?

Give me the dough, I KNEAD IT

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two guys run their own business out of the same storefront, allowing them to split the rent. The first guy has a bagel shop in the morning hours. After he clears out the second guy runs a martial arts studio in the afternoon. But what do they call the shop? What name on the sign works for both?

Jew Dough

Why did the rich man sell yeast?

To raise some dough.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The bread I made came out the oven shaped like a voluptuous womans butt!

I tried not to let it turn me on, but dat ass dough!

I started working for a pizza company

I don't enjoy it, I just knead the dough

What are strange doughnuts made out of?

Weird doughs...

My friend who works as a pizza chef apparently gets paid well

He told me he's making dough.

What do you call bread that’s scared of everything?

Cower-dough

I asked my local baker for her amazing bread recipe.

She said it's on a knead to dough basis.

My Dad showed me how to make bread, then he wanted me to do it on my own...

While I was kneeding the dough, he said, "This time, I won't tell you what to do next"

I told him, "I don't need you to"

He said, "Prove it"

Why did Papa John sue Papa John's?

He kneaded the dough.

I was turned away when I tried to order a pie from Yoda's bakery.

"Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie."

I really want to start a donut shop

But I don't have enough dough

I started a part-time job at the bakery

Just to make a little extra dough.

Potato is spelt wrong.

If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau

The right way to spell POTATO should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU