Nobody will upvote a cake joke in my birthday

I feel desserted.



Happy cake day to me :)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife says if this post gets a 1000 likes, I can get anal on my cake day

Please upvote because I want this house to be spotless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For my cake day, I want to share a joke my friend told me

When I was born, god gave me the option between choosing the ability to finish stories, or having a big dick.

Obviously, I chose

Since this is the first year that I’ve remembered my cake day, here’s my four year old’s favorite joke. What did one hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.

What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

Fat. You get fat.

You were expecting a joke about pi? On my cake day?

p.s not my joke, found it online

What did the cake say to the fork?

You want a piece of me!?

People never like my cake jokes

I feel desserted

For cake day, I wanted to share my grandpa’s favorite joke when I was growing up: “Wanna hear a dirty joke?”

-A man fell in a mud puddle.

Wanna hear a clean joke?
-The man took a bath with bubbles.

Wanna hear a dirtier joke?
-Bubbles was the woman next door.

Edit: thank you for my first silver and gold

Edit 2: I really only expected maybe 1 comment, lol. This really kinda...

What happens when you don't get any upvotes on your cake day....

You feel desserted.

For my cake day, a joke I made up as a kid: Why is Aquaman such a dedicated super hero?

Because he was born with a sense of porpoise.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?

Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his balls red.

What’s the loudest sound in the jungle?

Giraffes eating cherries!

(Apologies if you’ve heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I’ll get better material)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's my cake day, so here's a classic!

There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else. So he went to a sex shop and...

Nobody will upvote a cake joke in my birthday

I feel desserted

Edit: oh wow, this was my first time karma whoring on my cake day and I honestly wasn’t expecting this much attention. Thank you for all the awards and sorry if I didn’t respond to all the messages.

Shoutout to u/sse2k for “letting” me repost his joke.

I said “I love you” to my cake.

It burst into tiers.

Edit: rip my inbox!

Edit 2: so many awards but no gold? I dare you to gild me. Go ahead, make my day!

Edit 3: Guys I was being sarcastic and referencing the movie Sudden Impact (cries in being old). Whoever gilded me just wasted their coins but still, thanks...

What's the difference between me and my birthday cake?

My cake gets blowed atleast once a year

Got my friend a cake in the shape of pac man...

At least that’s what I told him when he saw what it looked like

My favourite joke about cake!

A man walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm and says “do you have fish cakes?” The chap behind the counter replies, “No”.
“That’s a pity, it’s his birthday”.

I was going to make a cake day joke...

But I feel like it would have too many layers.

On my cake day a joke about cake...

A father is dying. All of his children stand around his bed. The smell of cake comes from the kitchen. The father says to Jan: "Please get me a piece of cake before I die..."

Jan goes and comes back straight away: "Mom said it was for after the funeral!"

I asked the baker if it was hard cutting the cake into equal slices

He said, "It's a piece of cake!"

What’s the difference between cake and pie?

π r². Cakes are round.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Give most people cake and they will eat it.

Give a Redditor cake and he will farm the everlasting shit out of it.

For my cake day, I’d like to tell you that I eat zebras...

but then I’d be lion

I’m sick and tired of all these people farming karma on their cake day.

Anyways, an upvote would be appreciated.

A rabbit walks in to a cake shop.

He walks up to the counter and asks " Do you have a birthday cake with spinach?" "No I'm sorry we don't" says the store clerk. "Ok" says the rabbit and promptly bounces out of the store. The rabbit comes back a couple of times and asks the same question and gets the same answer so the store owner de...

Nobody will upvote a cake joke on my cake day.

Feeling desserted.

My Account is 3 Months and 14 Days Old, So It's Not My Cake Day

It's my Pie Day

Pie Day's over, get out of my house

Losing weight is a piece of cake

Just don’t pick it up

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I made a vegan cake out of Pokemon

It was butterfree

Just some cake, please

Nothing looked good on the chow hall/mess line, so he only selected a large piece of chocolate cake.

The cook asked him, "Is that all you're gonna eat?"

To which the sailor replied, "Yeah, the rest of the choices don’t look too appealing to me."

The cook grinned at the sailor a...

This is my 5th cake day which means

My reddit account is older than most anti-vax kids will ever be

One of my favorite dumb jokes to share with everyone for my first ever cake day!

What did 0 say to 8?


Nice belt!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's my cake day today, so I'll give you one of my favourite jokes since 15+ years ago.

There is a factory that makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. Th...

Because it's my Cake Day, I'll tell you a cake joke my little brother (10) told me

It's a Dutch joke but I'll try to explain

So I had made a cake recently, and it just stood there on the table. So my little brother comes up to me and says; 'Kijk daar!' (Look over there) while pointing at the cake. So when I looked at it he says; 'haha je keek' (haha you looked)


<...

Wife: We just ate, why are you making pancakes?

Me: They're for the dogs.

Wife: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Me: They don't know how.

Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his brithday cake?

He was already stuffed.

For my first cake day, I would like to share a truly terrible joke I heard from my brother

On the day my friend discovered my reddit account he couldn't believe his eyes. How had I got so much karma? He didn't think it possible. Naturally, for days on end he asked and begged to know. I didn't want the magician to reveal his secrets, so for a while I simply didn't tell him. I thought he wo...

What's the difference between pie and cake?

πr^2, but cake are round.

yup, waited about 4 months to post this.

I was once in a pretty serious relationship with a cake

We went on several dates over the course of a few weeks. The chemistry was great and I thought we really had a connection. One special night I leaned in close to my cake and whispered, “I love you."



The cake burst into tiers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well.

Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately.

Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news.

Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense. I believe in homeopathic medicine, faith-based approaches and healing crystals. All my life, they have never failed m...

Did you hear about the German that couldn’t eat his Christmas cake?

It was stollen

Since it my cake day i tell one of my favorite joke

There was this substitute teacher how had just finished teaching the lesson and was busy getting everyone working and was down to just one student not working and he ask the student why he wasn't working, the student said tell me a joke and i will. And than the teacher waving his hands at the stude...

No matter how much I love cake…

Never gonna run around and desert you

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a bandmember of Pantera call it when they bake a dick-shaped cake?

Vulgar display of flour.

I got an awesome stereo made of cake.

It's a gateau blaster.

For my 3rd cake day I'd like to re-re retell

Resell, retail, retale, resail reset preset presume resume
Assume retell

That my favorite joke is good ol' #788

What kind of flour should you use to make a cake for a cat?

All purr-puss flour.

Cake day joke in these times

Q: What do you call a baker with a cold?

A: Coughee cake

To celebrate my cake day, I decided to post a joke

I got more birthday wishes than my real-life birthday.



[Reddit, thank you for years of facts, hobbies, jokes, and hundreds of unproductive hours]

How does an uncreative redditor get karma... Piece of Cake

Or a repost, evidently

For my first cake day I was just going to do a repost of someone else’s cake joke.

But then I thought....

Nah, I could do batter.

I was so happy I didn't miss my cake day this year

It nearly brought me to tiers

My girlfriend baked me a cake for cake day with a cute note on it...

...

It was the icing on the cake

Today is my first cake day! So I want to share a joke with eveyone

Wait a minute. Let me find a photo of myself first

A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 18 y/o daughter.

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the cake.

"Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said.

So the father visited a ton of different bakeries a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Cake Day - My Favorite Joke - Everybody Knows David!

Everybody knows Dave!

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, ...

For Cake Day, here’s my favorite pun: Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off?

He’s all right now. Sadly, there’s nothing left of him.

How many Swedish people does it take to make a cake?

Depends on how Swede you want it to be

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cancer!

Karen: Doctor, I've not been feeling well lately

Doctor: Well, I've looked at your lab reports and I'm afraid I have some bad news...

Karen: Don't give me this lab nonsense, you bureaucratic paper pusher! I don't believe Western medicine anyways! I've been following homeopathic medicin...

Remember back when we used to eat cake after someone blew all over it?

Man, we were wild...

What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

Banned from Seaworld



Cake day so time to Karma Farm, and I can't see this joke posted

Cake joke for my cake day!

Was at a wedding today and it was so beautiful everyone started crying.


Even the cake was in tiers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke about cake for my cake day

Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks,


“What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away.

So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises...

A joke on my cake day

What is the best part about dating a homeless person?


You can drop them off anywhere.

What do you call a Redditor from Boston on his Cake Day?

A kahma fahma

(Does this break rule 8?)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: Would you rather sit on a dick and eat cake? Or sit on a cake and eat dick?

Interviewer: we meant questions about the job...

Some only dream of cake

Others bake it happen.

A serial killer was celebrating his cake day when he was nabbed by the police.

As he was escorted, he heard a voice shouted, “I’ve told you karma will come to bite you!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today is my cake day

just one year ago i discovered reddit porn

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so ...

The recipe said to put my cake in the oven at 180 degrees.

I did, and it fell out.

Since it’s my cake day, I thought I’d do an appropriate joke. Why did the coffee cake kill himself?

Because his life was so crumby!

In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.

The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has ...

Another joke for my cake day.

The sand crab and the horse shoe crab are the best of friends. They do everything together.

Then one day the horse shoe crab dies. He goes up to heaven and Saint Peter meets him at the gates. Saint Peter asks him if he has any questions and he says no. So Saint Peter gives him a harp, a...

What do you get when you cross Father's Day and Cake day?

Extra Karma... I hope.

For my cake day this year I want to share the love I have of Star Wars and dad jokes so here is one of my favorites: Where did Luke get this cybernetic hand from?

The second hand store.

Cake Day Joke!

An old lady walked into a pet store, found a parrot and asked the owner if she could buy it. The owner said, “Heck no! That parrot has a bad mouth! Trust me – you do not want that parrot!”

She said, “I can teach it good manners.” 

But, when she got home the parrot said a bad word, so s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This Cake Day I really wanted to take a whisk.

But when I asked a baker for a good cake joke, he told me they are on a knead to know basis.

I was speechless and couldn’t even come with a good re-torte, I almost broke down in tiers.

So I did when any great man would do and called my mom who has always been my biggest flan, she liste...

Reddit, no matter how much I love cake...

...I would never dessert you.

(Thanks Reddit for 4 years of fun facts, interesting stories, and new hobbies!)

What’s better than a cake day on Reddit?

Damned if any of us losers know.

Missed my Cake Day but here's a terrible joke (I think) I came up with.

The whole world was in shock last year when Will Smith was found dead. The police suspected foul play but closed the case due to lack of DNA evidence. We're hearing now though that the investigation is being reopened due to the discovery of fresh prints.








I'm sorry...

For me everday is cake day

And sometimes cake morning
And cake afternoon
And cake evening


I just like cake

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's my cake day, so here's a long one: A mail carrier is being reassigned...

A mailman is being transferred to a new route, so he tells his customers it's his last week. On his last day, at one particular house, he rings the bell to deliver a package and a woman answers the door in a silk robe with a teddy underneath.
"I just want to thank you properly for your service...

I may not be the brightest candle on the cake...

but you can still blow me.

Has anyone seen my marzipan cake anywhere?

I think it's been stollen.

(My first post to the sub so go easy on me!)

If McDonalds sold fancy steaks they’d call them Filet Mc’gnons

...also it’s my 5 year cake day so shower me in internet points or however this works I dunno. Thanks!

I just made an upside down cake....

It was a Victoria sponge, but I tripped over the bloody dog.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Inspired by the earlier post, I asked my wife if I too could get anal on my cake day.

She said “sure” and then introduced me to her ‘work mate’, Winston.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you feed a woman to stop her from giving blowjobs?

Wedding cake

A man walks into a bakery on March 14th

He orders some pie, the baker thinks its clever and gets him some pie. The next day the man comes back and says the pie was great and orders a different flavor. He does this every day for 350 days. The baker running out of ideas for flavors sees the man come in on Feb 27th.

He says, man look ...

It's my special day today but I can't think of any good jokes...

It's a shame, I thought it would be a piece of cake.

How does a cake show emotions?

It tiers up.

(My cake day ends in 2 minutes.. I forgot)

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