Well today is my first cake day.

And that means my Reddit account is older than most anti-vax kids will ever be.

What has two thumbs and 100k karma on their cake day?

Not me.

What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

Fat. You get fat.


What? Like I would make a pie joke on my cake day?

It's my cake day today, so I'll give you one of my favourite jokes.

What do you call an Irish man bouncing off the walls?


Rick O Shea

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a cake baked by a prostitute?

Hoe Made

I like to imagine that Little Debbie has been eating her cakes over the past several years...

She’s probably had to change her name to Debra by now

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe so here goes. Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year!

*(Made mine this morning!!)*

1 cup sugar,
1 tsp. baking powder,
1 cup water,
1 tsp. salt ,
1 cup brown sugar,
Lemon juice,
4 large eggs,
Nuts,
1 bottle Vodka,
2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of Vodka to check qual...

For my cake day, I've decided that I'm not going to be drinking any more.

I'm not going to drink any less either.

What’s the similarity between a pothead and a cake?

They’re both baked.

In Celebration of my Cake Day, here's a terrible joke: the Olympic Swimmer and his Son

Michael was a famous Olympic Swimmer. Recently retired, it was his dream to continue his legacy by teaching his son the art of swimming. They had practiced for years, and when Michael's son was ready, he was entered into his first ever tournament.

The first round was easy. After all, t...

Let them eat Cake

Marie Antoinette started the body positivity movement. Quite revolutionary.

Coming up with a good joke is a lot like baking a cake.

I can't do either.

It’s my cake day so a joke for everyone

A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender says

“What’ll it be today?”

The bear says “give me a gin and.........................tonic”

The bartender says “sure thing but why the big pause?”

The bear looks down and says “I dunno? I was just born with them. “

My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..

..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake

The beauty of having icing on your cake is that you can cover a lot of your mistakes.

I think I've found out why my parents insist on spreading icing all over my face on each of my birthdays.

Wedding cake tastes just like Birthday cake

It just takes more commitment

I love my cake day. It's the best!

It's 10/10

How much cake do you feed a snake?

Only a slither

I say to a baker “All your cakes are 50 pence except that one which is £1. Why’s that?” ...

“Arhh! That’s Madeira cake!” The baker replies.

Don't you hate it when a teacher lies and says the homework will be a piece of cake?

It always tastes like paper.

It's my cake day, and in celebration I am giving away all my dead batteries,

Free of charge.

A father comes home after a long day of work, excited to eat the piece of cake he had been saving.

He opens the fridge, and sees the cake missing. The plate that the cake was on is still in the fridge, but it's empty!

He calls his four children to the kitchen.

"Which one of you ate my cake?"

The mother shakes her head and says "don't bother asking, no one ever takes blames ...

If I have 30 pieces of chocolate cake for my cake day, and eat 25 of them, what do I have?

Diabetes......I got diabetes.

A guy wants a divorce. He tells the judge "I cant take it anymore she's out going from bar to bar every night way past midnight"

The judge responds "what's she doing"

The guy says "looking for me"

.
.
.
.

What's the difference between pie and cake?

πr^2 , cake are round

Another clean cake day joke

Boss asks Mutuku, Mutuku how do you get it right for 30 years of bringing me coffee every morning without spilling it?

Mutuku's answer, before I climb up the stairs I take a big sip. As I get upstairs, I put it back.

Mutuku's funeral is on Monday.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every birthday I get an erotic cake that resembles a woman's breasts....

That way I can have my cake and eat tit, too!

A woman dies and finds herself at the gates to haven.

When she gets there, she is confused as she saw how many others are standing and sitting outside, cracking eggs, mixing batter, and baking something.

She turns around and sees an entire section dedicated to decoration, with elaborate concoctions of strawberries, frosting, and tiering at every...

What do you call a company that replants fields of grass using cropduster airplanes?

A re-seeding airline!



This joke sucks but it's my cakeday and I was told there would be plentiful imaginary internet points .... XD

A boy walks out of the toliet and into the kitchen where his mum was baking a cake

He asked "can I lick the bowl mummy?" And the mother replied "no flush it like anyone else"

It’s my cake day so here’s a little cake joke for you all...

What do rat’s like to eat on their birthday?
Mice cream and cake

I’ll see myself out.

No matter how much I love cake

I would never dessert you.

Why were the pirates happy when they washed up on shore and saw cakes, pies, and ice cream?

It was a desserted island.

It’s my cake day today so I figured I’d try out a cake joke!

Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.

Doctor: Next time, take off the candles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite joke clean joke for my cakeday.

A long time ago in a man from a small town became a train conductor. Unfortunately the man had a severe drinking problem that impacted his work and one day he managed to kill someone while drinking at work. After an investigation he was found guilty and sentenced to death by the electric chair.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A policeman is training three men, Bob, Don, and Rod, to become detectives.

The policeman flashes an image of a suspect at Bob for five seconds, and then asks him, "This is your suspect. How will you catch him?"

Bob replies, "Well, sir, that's easy! He only has one eye!"

The policeman replies, "That's because the photo I showed you is his profile! He doesn't h...

Scientists have discovered a food that makes women morbidly obese soon after they eat it.

Wedding cake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cake day joke for you guys

A pony walks into a bar.

"What'll it be?" asks the bartender.

"I'll have one whiskey, please." the pony whispered softly.

The bartender says, "Sure, but why are you speaking so quietly?"


"I'm a little hoarse."

What did the ghost say when it woke up with a bad hangover?

“Man, I really need to lay off the boos.”

Why wasn't 5 bothered when 7 ate the horrible cake 9 had made for 6?

Because 781452.

What’s the fastest cake?

Scone

Right I did my job on my cake day now you do yours

Our wedding was beautiful.

Even our cake was in tiers.

A cake walked into a bar...

It was gonna try to find it's owner because it was celebrating his 50th birthday.

But when the people saw the cake they were very puzzled. What is this thing? (Seeing very well that it had legs and arms)

The cake replied, "I am a cake looking for someone named- ooh I don't remember b...

This is the first time in 5 years of using this site I remembered that it's my cake day. Im using this post to see the little cake emoji on it. That is all. ( included joke to qualify )

A man walks into a bar. He says ow.Thank you.

You know you’re getting old when,

by the time you’ve lit the last candle on the birthday
cake, the first one has burned out.

Lots of people love their cake day.

For me it’s only a 5/7

A teenager asks his crush out to prom

She agrees, but she has three stipulations:

First, he has to get himself a tailor-made suit.

Second, he needs to pick her up in a limousine.

Third, she wants a large bouquet of roses waiting for her in said limousine.



Determined, the teenager starts with the fi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grandpa is eating cake on the couch..

A grandpa is eating cake on the couch and his grandson asks if he can have some.
The grandpa says "can your penis touch your butthole?" The grandson says no. The grandpa says okay there's your answer.
The next day grandpa was eating ice cream at the table and the grand son asks if he can have...

Skinny people are alright

But fat people really take the cake.

Why did I get divorced?

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" and I felt really special. Then, she asked me out ...

I once bought a cake in the shape of a chess set

When I tasted it, it was terrible, so I took it back to the store and said "This is stale mate!!"

The shopkeeper said "Are you sure??"

I said "I'm sure, if you don't believe me, then check mate!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of food ruins a woman’s sex drive?

Wedding cake

What did the redditor say to get attention

Its my cake day!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone broke into my house and stole all the food for my birthday party.

Of all the assholes in the world this guy takes the cake.

Birthday cake

A little girl is walking to the zoo with her mom when they pass by 2 dogs in a yard screwing.

"Mama! Look at those dogs! What are they doing?"

"Don't worry, sweetie, they're just making a birthday cake."



After they get to the zoo, they go to see the monkeys and sure en...

How do you get a fat person to sleep with you?

Piece of cake

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