UPJOKE
breaddessertcheesecakecustardpastrychocolatebirthday cakebirthdaypieflouricingsponge cakebakingfruitmarzipan

Cake Jokes

I said “I love you” to my cake.

It burst into tiers.

Edit: rip my inbox!

Edit 2: so many awards but no gold? I dare you to gild me. Go ahead, make my day!

Edit 3: Guys I was being sarcastic and referencing the movie Sudden Impact (cries in being old). Whoever gilded me just wasted their coins but still, thanks...

Nobody will upvote a cake joke in my birthday

I feel desserted

Edit: oh wow, this was my first time karma whoring on my cake day and I honestly wasn’t expecting this much attention. Thank you for all the awards and sorry if I didn’t respond to all the messages.

Shoutout to u/sse2k for “letting” me repost his joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I always wondered why my gf brings cake and confetti when we have sex....

Turns out she likes to celebrate the little things.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between sex and cake days?

Most Redditors have had cake days

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

almost forgot it was my cake day! here's my favorite joke. it's not about cake

On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Gf says I can get anal on my cake day if this post reaches front page

Please upvote because I want to rearrange the whole house furnitures to make them perfectly symmetric from every angle

It's my cake day, so one of my favorite jokes ... A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150.

His parents look at the truck and ask, "Where did you get that truck?!"

"I bought it today," he says. "With what money?" says his mother. They knew what a new F150 cost.

"Well," he says, "this one cost me just fifteen dollars."

The father looks at him like he's crazy. "Who wo...

What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

Fat. You get fat.



You were expecting a joke about pi? On my cake day?

For cake day, I wanted to share my grandpa’s favorite joke when I was growing up: “Wanna hear a dirty joke?”

-A man fell in a mud puddle.

Wanna hear a clean joke?
-The man took a bath with bubbles.

Wanna hear a dirtier joke?
-Bubbles was the woman next door.

Edit: thank you for my first silver and gold

Edit 2: I really only expected maybe 1 comment, lol. This really kinda...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Give a man a cake and he will eat it

Give a reddittor a cake and he will farm the ever lasting shit out of it

For my cake day, a Harry Potter joke I made up when I was a kid...

*Knock-knock*

~ Who’s there?

~ You know

~ you know who?

*avada kedavra!*

Sorry if everyone knows that one, 7 year old me thought I was being very clever.

A rabbit walks in to a cake shop.

He walks up to the counter and asks " Do you have a birthday cake with spinach?" "No I'm sorry we don't" says the store clerk. "Ok" says the rabbit and promptly bounces out of the store.

The rabbit comes back a couple of times and asks the same question and gets the same answer so the store ...

It’s my cake day so a joke for everyone

A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender says

“What’ll it be today?”

The bear says “give me a gin and.........................tonic”

The bartender says “sure thing but why the big pause?”

The bear looks down and says “I dunno? I was just born with them. “

Me: "Why does that emo cake cost so much?"

Bakery Cashier: "It cuts itself."

My annual cake day joke repost - how can you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask them to pronounce unionized

I absolutely HATE when people make a post subtly implying it's their cake day, just so people can wish them.

You won't catch me doing that today.

It's my cake day, so I wanna share my favorite joke :-)

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

He forced himself to ...

My favorite Dad joke, because it’s my cake day.

Why does a chicken coup only have two doors?



Because if it had four doors, it would be a sedan.

Today is NOT my cake day

But when it comes I will NOT attempt to farm karma with it.


April fools.

It's my cake day today, so I'll give you one of my favourite jokes.

What do you call an Irish man bouncing off the walls?


Rick O Shea

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everybody Knows Dave, The best joke on my cake day

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Da...

It's my cake day, so better post a joke about cakes... Why couldn't the Teddy bear finish his birthday cake?

Because he was already stuffed...

Sorry, I'll do better next year - definitely Muffin that I will repeat again!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In celebration of my cake day, here's the worst joke I've ever created.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him ...

My son asked me, “Dad, can I eat the last piece of cake in the fridge?” I smiled and said, “Sure..."

"But the dining room would probably be more comfortable.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For my cake day, I want to share a joke my friend told me

When I was born, god gave me the option between choosing the ability to finish stories, or having a big dick.

Obviously, I chose

Since this is the first year that I’ve remembered my cake day, here’s my four year old’s favorite joke. What did one hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?

Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his balls red.

What’s the loudest sound in the jungle?

Giraffes eating cherries!

(Apologies if you’ve heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I’ll get better material)

Nobody will upvote a cake joke on my cake day.

Feeling desserted.

What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

Diabetes.

What?, did you really think I was gonna make a pie joke on my cake day?

^btw ^I ^waited ^1 ^whole ^year ^to ^tell ^this ^joke

For my cake day, a joke I made up as a kid: Why is Aquaman such a dedicated super hero?

Because he was born with a sense of porpoise.

long: joke for my cake day: three rich men go on a plane

And when they have taken of, and an hour or two have passed, the others say to the first one : ''we dare you to throw a brick out of the plane'' the first man does it, and says: i am the most daring of us all !''

The second man says: '' no, i dare to throw a table out of this plane!'' ''no...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Cake Day penis joke:

A guy goes to the beach for vacation, and he really wanted to impress the ladies on the beach. He worked out a bunch, tanned in advance, and bought a tiny banana hammock bathing suit for himself.

Each day, he put on his tight budgie smuggler and began walking the beach, smiling at the bathin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s my cake day, so here’s a joke!

what do you call someone that doesn’t masturbate?




A liar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Would you rather sit on a dick and eat cake or sit on a cake and eat dick?

Interviewer: We meant questions about the job

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My cake day joke - A man goes to a bar and orders 10 shots of jaeger. The bartender says wow, thats a lot, you celebrating?

The man says yes! My first blowjob!

The bartender says congrats! Why 10?

The man says *if that won't get the taste out, nothing will.*

Cake joke for my cake day!

Was at a wedding today and it was so beautiful everyone started crying.


Even the cake was in tiers.

In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.

The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has ...

For my cake day, I'd like to share my favorite joke of all time.

Three guys were walking down the street.

Two of them walked into a bar.

The third guy ducked.

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony

However, eating too much pie is okay, because the sin of pi is zero.

What do you get when you cross Father's Day and Cake day?

Extra Karma... I hope.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My cake day joke. What did one saggy boob say to the other?

If we dont get some support soon people will think thank we're nuts!

In honor of my 7th cake day, I present to you, my Dad's favorite joke.

It's a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there he climbs in...

Cake Day Facts- why do we traditionally put candles on a cake?

Because it would be too hard to light them if they were under the cake.

Today is my cake day

And that means my Reddit account is older than most anti-vax kids will ever be.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My cake day joke.

A gunslinger walks into a bar.
Low and behold there sits Doc Holliday.

The gun slinger says "hey you're Doc Holliday!"

Doc says "yeah I'm your huckleberry. "

The gunslinger says "you are my hero. Would you critique my shooting?" He whips his pistol out of its' holster and sh...

Someone told be that on your Cake Day, you get free Karma!

My Ma: I'm not buying you a car.

I walked into a cake shop in Glasgow…

…and there it was, the finest pastry case filled with a glorious yellow jelly and topped with the fluffiest beaten egg white. I didn't know what it was so I asked, "Is that a lemon tart or a meringue?"

"Aye, it is a lemon tart." The shopkeeper replied, "yer no wrang."

A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 18 y/o daughter.

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the cake.

"Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said.

So the father visited a ton of different bakeries a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke about cake for my cake day

Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks,


“What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away.

So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises...

What happens when you don't get any upvotes on your cake day....

You feel desserted.

Cake Day special: Hear about the new restaurant called karma?

There’s no menu... you get what you deserve.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's my cake day today, so I'll give you one of my favourite jokes since 15+ years ago.

There is a factory that makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. Th...

I bought a chessboard cake from the bakers last week.

Took one bite, looked up, and said "it's stale mate".

He seemed surprised, said "no, mate".

So I handed him the cake and said "check mate".

Even though it's my cake day and I absolutely love cake...

Never gonna run around and dessert you

Here’s my cake day joke

Me: Bruce and I are teaming up for a 3 member mission and are looking for a second person. Would you like to join us?

Them: Uhh... do you mean a third person?

Me: Bruce is 3rd person, I is first person, you is second person

When it's your Cake Day you share a Cake joke!

Mother: Why is your little brother crying?
Son: Because I won’t give him my piece of cake.
Mother: ls his piece gone?
Son: Yes - he cried when I ate that, too.

I went to a coffee shop. They had some great looking cakes. I pointed to a cake and asked the waiter:

"Is this gluten free?"
He replied:
"No, it costs money!"

The only cake joke I could remember for cake day.

What’s the difference a cake and a pie?

πr2, cake is round.

“Doctor, my eyes burn every time I eat birthday cake.”

Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”

A cake walks into a bar

Barman: Gateau-t!

I just made an upside down cake....

It was a Victoria sponge, but I tripped over the bloody dog.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cake Day Joke

It’s my cake day so here is my crappy cake day joke.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

By using holy condoms.

It's my cake day, thought I'd share my favorite joke I like to tell

King Arthur was preparing to go out on an expedition and would be away from Camelot for an indefinite period of time. King Arthur was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those Knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin for some advice.

After explaining his predicament t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It is/was/will be my Cake Day, so here's a favorite: A woman joins a country club, and when she hears some guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?"

No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot. Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m."

He figures the early tee-time will discourage her. The woman says this may be a problem and asks if she can be up to 15 minutes late.They roll their eyes, but say, "Okay."

She'...

It's my cake day! Here's my favorite blonde joke.

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette tells her s...

Everyone thinks pound cake is called "pound cake" because of the ingredients

But it's actually named after the place it was invented, "Pound Town",

You know, where your mom lives.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For my cake day I’ve decided to share my favourite cake recipe

I used to have trouble remembering how I did it, so this time I wrote it down while making it.

You’ll need 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1...bottle Vodka,2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of Vodka to che...

A cake walked into a bar...

It was gonna try to find it's owner because it was celebrating his 50th birthday.

But when the people saw the cake they were very puzzled. What is this thing? (Seeing very well that it had legs and arms)

The cake replied, "I am a cake looking for someone named- ooh I don't remember b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you feed a woman to stop her from giving blowjobs?

Wedding cake

Tomato cake

A boy started going to a cake store everyday and asks the baker:


“Do you have tomato cake?”


“That’s an odd choice of cake, no we don’t”


“Ok”. Replies the boy in disappointment.

Every day this happens.

One day the baker felt sorry for the boy, got creat...

What cake was always late to the party?

ChocoLATE

Hahah I'll leave now I just needed to brag about my dope reddit bday

The Wedding Cake

A health forum speaker asks, "which food causes extreme suffering for years after eating it?"

After a long silence, an old man answered: "Wedding Cake"

what did the cake said when it's fighting anotha cake?

You want a piece of me?!

How are climate models like birthday cakes?

If you pay someone to bake you one, they can make it say whatever you want.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite joke for my cake day

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Japanese man are hired at a construction site.
The foreman says to the Italian "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Asian "You're in charge of supplies. Now, I have to leave for a little while."
Later when...

If you think your life is scary, just imagine being a birthday cake.

Someone starts a fire right above your head, and then everyone starts singing.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a cake that was made by a prostitute?

Hoe-made

Why couldn’t the woman find her Christmas cake?

It was stollen.

Happy cake day to meeeee …

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cake day repost: Sorry!!!

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Final Cake Day joke] A 70 year old man goes into a brothel. He picks out a young pretty woman, ....

... they go up to her room, strip down and climb into bed.


The old man performs like a teenager, the prostitute is amazed at how energetic and agile he is, she tells him if he can do it like that again, she'll give him one for free.


He says "Yeah, I can, but I need to tak...

“omg it’s cake day, quick, repost a cake joke!”

“Nah, i’m batter than that”

the recipe for marble cake is not what you might first think it is.

Totally unrelated topic - anybody know a good dentist?

Obligatory cake day joke

When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a females body. Then I was born

Obligatory Cake Day joke

What do a pregnant woman and a burnt cake have in common?

Pulled out too late.

It's my cake day so here is my cake joke...

A man walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm and says “do you have fish cakes?” The man behind the counter replies, “No”.
“That’s a pity, it’s his birthday”

37 Was looking all around trying to figure out who took a bite from his cake, turns out...

38

Sylvester Stallone has launched a new range of cakes. I would highly recommend them.

They are the best thing since Sly's bread.

What did the cake say to the birthday boy?

You want a piece of me?

(Obligatory cake joke for my cake day!)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife is tired of all the problems that need fixing in her house

She asks her husband, "Can you please fix the leak in the bathroom? ", the husband says "Do i look like a plumber?"

She asks him "Well can you please fix the light in the living room, its been flickering for ages?", he replies "Do i look like and electrician?"

Growing tired she asks hi...

My girlfriend asked me who my favorite vampire was...

I told her it was the dude from Sesame street

She said, "He doesn't count."

I said, "Oh I assure you, he does."

(obligatory cake day joke)

My friend wanted t know how I got all my karma

I replied "piece of cake"

On my cake day a joke about cake...

A father is dying. All of his children stand around his bed. The smell of cake comes from the kitchen. The father says to Jan: "Please get me a piece of cake before I die..."

Jan goes and comes back straight away: "Mom said it was for after the funeral!"

My wife didn't like the red velvet cake I made.

I just wasted yards of fabric

What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

Banned from Seaworld



Cake day so time to Karma Farm, and I can't see this joke posted

It’s my cake day so here’s a little cake joke for you all...

What do rat’s like to eat on their birthday?
Mice cream and cake

I’ll see myself out.

I cut my birthday cake in half and ate both sides.

I wanted to halve my cake and eat it too

Today is my cake day

A man needs a cake for his daughter's birthday.

He's not the richest of men, which puts the nicer cake shops out of the question. However, he's confident that he can figure something out.

Down the road from where he lives, an old Buddhist man owns a pastry store. He's a kind man, with reasonable prices and a perpetual smile on his face. Ho...

what did the redditor get on her 10th year cake day?

Probly just a bunch of down votes.

For my cake day, a joke I read recently.

The irony of Wall Street:

The dealer, not the customer, is called “broker.”

My friend Glados said there is cake on my cake day

But all I see is praise and up votes. I'm starting to think the cake is a lie.



Boy it's hot in here too.

Today I'm making fish cakes covered in bread crumbs.

It will be a challenge because I've never been covered in breadcrumbs before.

I recently received quite a nasty ear injury in a food fight at a cake shop.

So you'll have to forgive me since I'm a trifle deaf.

There is only one type of cake I don't like

Stomach ache

Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his birthday cake?

He was already stuffed.

Oldest cake joke

A rabbit visits a bakery and asks if they make carrot cake.

The baker says they don't, so the rabbit buys a key lime pie.

This repeats several days until the baker is sick of it and decides to try making one.

The next time the rabbit enters, the baker proudly tells that they do ...

Jack loved cake...

Jack loved cake so much that every morning he would drive to the local bakery to get a piece.

Jack was married to Edith who did not like cake. She also didn't like how fat Jack was getting. Worried for his health, Edith eventually gave an ultimatum. Jack either had to give up the cake or she...

It's finally my cake day, so I can make my cake day repost

N. 5347!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's my cake day, so here's a classic!

There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else. So he went to a sex shop and...

Teach a man a joke, and he will laugh for a day.

Teach a redditor a joke, and they will repost it for a lifetime.

It's cake and y'all know the rules!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why couldn't the duck make a cake?

He couldn't quack his eggs ... hehe

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.