I absolutely HATE when people make a post subtly implying that it's their cake day just so people can wish them a happy birthday.

You won't catch me doing that today.

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My Gf says I can get anal on my cake day if this post reaches front page

Please upvote because I want to rearrange the whole house furnitures to make them perfectly symmetric from every angle

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I always wondered why my gf brings cake and confetti when we have sex....

Turns out she likes to celebrate the little things.

What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

Fat. You get fat.


What, did you think I would make a pie joke on my cake day?

A rabbit walks in to a cake shop.

He walks up to the counter and asks " Do you have a birthday cake with spinach?" "No I'm sorry we don't" says the store clerk. "Ok" says the rabbit and promptly bounces out of the store.

The rabbit comes back a couple of times and asks the same question and gets the same answer so the store ...

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake

But at least now we can see your face

It’s my cake day.. why couldn’t the Teddy Bear finish his cake?

He was already stuffed!!
Haha
Sorry it’s so cheese.

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony

However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero

My favorite Dad joke, because it’s my cake day.

Why does a chicken coup only have two doors?



Because if it had four doors, it would be a sedan.

For my sixth cake day I was going to just repost someone elses cake day joke.

But then I thought to myself...

Nah, I'm batter than that!

Nobody will upvote a cake joke in my birthday

I feel desserted.



Happy cake day to me :)

What did the Zen cake say to it's party guests?

Peace be with you

My wife says if this post gets 1,000+ upvotes then we can get freaky on my cake day.

Please don't, the handcuffs are bad enough, the whip and strap-on are huge!

To celebrate my cake cay I treated myself to a new stereo made of cake...

It's a gateau blaster!!




(Not new or original, but it always makes me chuckle. And in five years this is the first cake day I've managed to post on!)

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Give a man a cake and he will eat it

Give a reddittor a cake and he will farm the ever lasting shit out of it

It’s my cake day and no one cares

I feel caked…pied….I mean desserted

3 jokes instead of 3 layers of cake. Let's go!

What is at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck

Where are all average things made?
The Satisfactory

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly Squats

Enjoy!

Nobody will upvote a cake joke on cake day

Feeling desserted

For my cake day, a Harry Potter joke I made up when I was a kid...

*Knock-knock*

~ Who’s there?

~ You know

~ you know who?

*avada kedavra!*

Sorry if everyone knows that one, 7 year old me thought I was being very clever.

Today Is My Cake Day

And that means my Reddit account is older than most anti-vax kids will ever be

It's my cake day! Here is my favorite joke:

Someone's been adding soil to my garden...


...the plot thickens

Since this is the first year that I’ve remembered my cake day, here’s my four year old’s favorite joke. What did one hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.

A man walks into a bakery with a goldfish in a bowl under his arm and says “Do you have fish cakes?” The lady behind the counter replies, “No”.

That’s a shame he says “It’s his birthday.”

For my cake day, a joke I made up as a kid: Why is Aquaman such a dedicated super hero?

Because he was born with a sense of porpoise.

I was at an emotional wedding, the cake was in tiers.

Forgive me... but I needed a bad cake joke.. I mean I needed a cake joke bad.

On my cake day, I went to the Doctor and was told that my love of deli meats was going to kill me.

I had to quit cold turkey.

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For my cake day, I want to share a joke my friend told me

When I was born, god gave me the option between choosing the ability to finish stories, or having a big dick.

Obviously, I chose

A guy stops at a little cake shop ran by an elderly couple.

He asks for a cup of coffee. The old man who was working the counter turns to the kitchen and says "Sweetie! A cup of coffee to this gentleman please!"

The man found that rather cute and, deciding he could use some cake with his coffee decided to order a slice. The elderly man turned to the k...

Losing weight is a piece of cake

Just don’t eat the cake

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For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?

Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his balls red.

What’s the loudest sound in the jungle?

Giraffes eating cherries!

(Apologies if you’ve heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I’ll get better material)

Nobody will upvote a cake joke in my birthday

I feel desserted

Edit: oh wow, this was my first time karma whoring on my cake day and I honestly wasn’t expecting this much attention. Thank you for all the awards and sorry if I didn’t respond to all the messages.

Shoutout to u/sse2k for “letting” me repost his joke.

I said “I love you” to my cake.

It burst into tiers.

Edit: rip my inbox!

Edit 2: so many awards but no gold? I dare you to gild me. Go ahead, make my day!

Edit 3: Guys I was being sarcastic and referencing the movie Sudden Impact (cries in being old). Whoever gilded me just wasted their coins but still, thanks...

For cake day, I wanted to share my grandpa’s favorite joke when I was growing up: “Wanna hear a dirty joke?”

-A man fell in a mud puddle.

Wanna hear a clean joke?
-The man took a bath with bubbles.

Wanna hear a dirtier joke?
-Bubbles was the woman next door.

Edit: thank you for my first silver and gold

Edit 2: I really only expected maybe 1 comment, lol. This really kinda...

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It's my first cake day, so here's a classic!

There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else. So he went to a sex shop and...

On his cake day, the man swims across the river

When he is in the middle of the river, suddenly a loud voice out of nowhere asks: “plus two or minus two?”
The man decides that more is better than less and says : “plus two”.
At first it looks like nothing happened, but when he gets out of the water, he releases he now has 4 balls.
The man...

What’s the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?

About 5000 calories.

A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 18 y/o daughter.

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the cake.

"Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said.

So the father visited a ton of different bakeri...

I firmly disagree with putting fruit in cake

There's just no good raisin for it

The carrot cake

One day a rabbit entered a bakery and ask the baker if he has a carrot cake. The baker said no. The next day he went there again and asked the same question, and again, the answer was no. After a few days, the baker decided to bake the rabbit a carrot cake. The next day the rabbit entered the bakery...

When is birthday cake like a golf ball?

When it’s been sliced.

A piece of cake

A poor boy enters the bakery begging for money. An old lady goes ahead and buys him a piece of cake, which he devours.
After that the old lady asks "boy, what is your name?"
"John", he replies.
"I just gave you a delicious cake. Do you know what you have to say to me?"
"Yes", the boy ans...

It’s my cake day so a joke for everyone

A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender says

“What’ll it be today?”

The bear says “give me a gin and.........................tonic”

The bartender says “sure thing but why the big pause?”

The bear looks down and says “I dunno? I was just born with them. “

This is why divorce rates are always increasing

Why did I get divorced, you ask? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't get me a present and didn't even wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my co-workers didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy b...

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Dad gets mom a cake for her birthday every year

But for Mother’s Day he gives her a cream pie.

A man walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm and says “do you have fish cakes?” The chap behind the counter replies, “No”.

“That’s a pity, it’s his birthday”.


I was going to make a cake day joke...
But I feel like it would have too many layers

Have you heard of Schrodinger's cake?

You can have it and eat it.

As long as no one looks.

Cake Day special: Hear about the new restaurant called karma?

There’s no menu... you get what you deserve.

What kind of a cake can orphans not have?

Homemade.

To celebrate my cake day, here’s a joke that gave me a giggle

An old lady walks into a dental surgery, sits down in the chair, lifts her knees up and spreads her legs.

Dentist: ‘Miss, I believe you’re in the wrong room’.

Woman: ‘You put my husbands new teeth in last week. I’m here to have them removed’.

What’s the difference between pie and cake?

π r². Cakes are round.

Happy cake day to me

My yearly cake day joke

A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender comes over to him and says:

“Hey, you know something? We’ve got a drink named after you!”

The grasshopper looks up at the bartender and says:

“You’ve got a drink named Steve?!?”

Has anyone seen my marzipan cake?

I think it was stollen.

It's my cake day or something, Here's a dad joke :)

A blind man walks into a bar,


And then a table,


And then a chair.

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It's my cake day today, so I'll give you one of my favourite jokes since 15+ years ago.

There is a factory that makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. Th...

No matter how much I love cake...

Never gonna run around and dessert you

Just realized that my cake day is 420!

Now that's funny!

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How do you impress a baker?

Bring them flours.

Happy cake day, ya filthy bastards

Some say cake is for special occasions

I say it is for exploiting the reddit community for upvotes!

Little Johnny walked into the kitchen and saw his mother making a cake

“I’ll be playing in my room for the next two hours. I sure would like a piece of cake when you’re finished.” He said to his mother.

After about two hours, the cake had finally cooled off, and him mom brought a piece of cake to Johnny’s room. Upon seeing the piece of cake, the young boy exclai...

Where do stoner pirates eat their cake?

On the high seas!

What do you call a pineapple upside-down cake in Australia?

A pineapple cake

Today my girlfriend said she will spend the entire day wearing only a short skirt and a long jacket.

After all, it is my Cake day!

What did the cake say to the fork?

You want a piece of me!?

For my cake day, I thought I’d share my favourite joke...

John is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It"s been flickering for weeks now". He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the lights now? Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead? I don"t think so". Fine, then the wife as...

What does a cake pirate do with his treasure?

He berries it on a dessert island.

One of my favourite jokes as a kid, for my cake day

An Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman are all traveling together. It's late, and they've found a hotel to sleep at. However, when they try to book rooms, they find that the hotel is nearly fully booked.
"I'm sorry," says the receptionist. "We only have 3 beds left, and they're all very uncomfort...

Communist jokes aren't funny

Unless everyone gets them.

My favorite joke for my cake day

A couple in their 80's were having problems remembering things, so they decided to the go the doctor for a checkup.

The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?" "To the kitchen for a drink," he replies. She asks, " Wil...

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I was desperate and I couldn't get a date with a girl to save my life until...

I swiped right on a blind date, a profile picture. She asked me to pick her up, so i did, but I wasn't expecting much. I went up to the door expecting 400 lbs of desperation, but she answer the door 5 foot 2 with baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde curls and all the right curves in all the right place...

A man moves to a new house

For the first three days on the way to work he sees a woman hitting her son with a loaf of bread

On the fourth day, she’s hitting him with a cake

He asks what is going on

The woman replies, “well, it is his birthday!”

I asked the baker if it was hard cutting the cake into equal slices

He said, "It's a piece of cake!"

People never like my cake jokes

I feel desserted

On my cake day a joke about cake...

A father is dying. All of his children stand around his bed. The smell of cake comes from the kitchen. The father says to Jan: "Please get me a piece of cake before I die..."

Jan goes and comes back straight away: "Mom said it was for after the funeral!"

Got my friend a cake in the shape of pac man...

At least that’s what I told him when he saw what it looked like

It's my cake day, so here's a joke... Q: Why do they call it a funny bone?

A: Because it's humerus.

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Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room…

… catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother...

today is my cake day

April fools but it's real do you get it

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What does a bandmember of Pantera call it when they bake a dick-shaped cake?

Vulgar display of flour.

One of my favorite dumb jokes to share with everyone for my first ever cake day!

What did 0 say to 8?


Nice belt!

Did you hear about the German that couldn’t eat his Christmas cake?

It was stollen

What do you call a group of racist bakers?

The cake cake cake

What's the difference between pie and cake?

πr^2, but cake are round.

yup, waited about 4 months to post this.

I’m sick and tired of all these people farming karma on their cake day.

Anyways, an upvote would be appreciated.

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