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Crime Rate Jokes

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(Slightly NSFW) The crime rate in medieval times

A renowned knight, known for the way he stands when he ejaculates, defended the kingdom so well, crime fell to the lowest levels ever heard. Some say this occurrence was random, others say it was the product of Sir Cum Stance.

Why are crime rates down in the US?

Because criminals keep turning themselves into police.

What part of Italy has the highest crime rate,

The spaghetto

I've heard the crime rate in the Philippines drops when Manny Pacquiao fights...

The crime rate also drops in Floyd Mayweather's home when Floyd Mayweather fights.

(Courtesy of my mum) Why has crime rates gone up in the past 10 years?

Because they're removing all the phone boxes so superman has nowhere to change.

The guy installing the new security system said we should upgrade because of the increasing crime rate.

Typical alarmist.

Chicago anxiety

Bob was sitting on the plane at Cleveland waiting to fly to Chicago, when a guy took the seat beside him.  The guy was an emotional wreck…pale, hands shaking in fear. "What's the matter, afraid of flying?" Bob asked.

"No, it's not that.  I've been transferred to Chicago.  The people are  craz...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman's Day Off

Metropolis was experiencing an unusually low crime rate, so Superman got bored.

He called up Batman and The Flash to see if they wanted to go to a club, but they were busy and blew him off.

He's a little disgruntled while flying around Metropolis in the sun when he sees Wonder Woman su...

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