UPJOKE
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I was going to tell a joke about unemployment

But they never work

Working at an unemployment office must be so tense.

Even if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.

I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.

My boss said, “Clean our your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”

Why is the unemployment rate increasing in Iran?

Because of all of the women quitting their 'Jabs

I know a lot of unemployment jokes...

Unfortunately, none of them work.

Have you heard my unemployment joke?

Yeah, it needs a little work.

Two guys are waiting in the unemployment line.

Two guys waiting in the unemployment line worked side by side in the factory for 17 years before it closed down.

First guy up to the window doesn’t speak good English.

The Clerk asks, “What was your occupation?”

Man: “Dieselfitter”

Clerk: (looks in book) “ok that’s $795...

Unemployment...

It's just not working for me.

Two cousins go to the unemployment office.

They ask the first one what he does and he tells them “pilot”. They tell him they can get him a job immediately. They ask second cousin and he’s says “woodcutter” they tell him it may be difficult to place him because its not really a specialty. “Well you said you could get my cousin a job right awa...

A dog walks into the unemployment office..

"I need a job." He said, in perfect English.

Surprised, the clerk says "I'm sure the circus would be very interested in you. Shall I contact them?"

"If you like." Replied the dog. "But why would the circus need an architect?"

Why did the burglar file for unemployment?

Everyone was home last year.

I'm trying to think of an unemployment joke.

But none of them work.

Ole & Sven go to the unemployment office

Ole and Sven were just laid off from the lingerie factory so they went to the unemployment office to collect their checks.

Ole goes up and rings the bell. The lady asks, "What can I do for you?"
Ole replied, "I vas just laid off from vork and I vant to collect my unemployment"
Lady - "W...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Unemployment

A young fella with his pants hanging half off his arse, no front teeth and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local unemployment office to pick up his benefit money.

He strolled up to the counter and said:
"Hi there, you know what... I really HATE claiming benef...

In honor of “National Have Fun at Work Day (US)” I thought I’d write some jokes about unemployment..

But.. they don’t work.

Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office.

When asked his occupation,

Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher.. I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs..'


The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave him £80 a week unemployment pay.


Mick w...

A painter gets a helper from the unemployment office

A few days later the lady from the office calls the painter and apologizes deeply for the mistake.

"What mistake?"

"I'm so sorry, instead of a painter we sent you a gynecologist. Please just let him go, we send you a..."

"Let him go? You nuts, he's my best worker! At the last jo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Unemployment xD xD [NSFW]

Condom: You take my job for a week.

Tampon: yeah but when you f*ck up I lose my job for 9 months.

What did the Rasta in the unemployment line say?

Jah bless.

Unemployment at its best!

An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work."

The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for w...

A man walks into an unemployment office looking for a job.

He says to the unemployment worker: "I would like a job where I just sit at a desk and tell people they can't do the things they want yo do."

The unemployment worker answers: "Sorry sir, but that kind of job doesn't exist."

"Yes! It's your job that I want."

I'm sure that there's plenty of jokes about unemployment

but they just don't work.

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