Leading entomologists experimenting with ant larvae have reported that while the introduction of milk-born disaccharides increased their height by 31%, it also inhibited tarsus growth by 47%.

The study concluded that the resulting specimens lack toes in taller ants.

My boss said I was going to see a big increase on my Payslip this month...

... He increased the font size.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Harley & The dishes (NSFW)

A guy named Joe heads into his local Harley Davidson dealership with a fistfull of dollars and starts looking for his dream motorbike. The dealer looks at Joe's choice and states that while Joe's choice in motorcycle was respectable, the older style Harleys not only held their value better, but in m...

A farmer increased the yield of his apple tree by cross breeding it with a salmon

He said it was quite a fish ent.

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Ireland Declares War on France

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

"Hallo!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," the President of France ...

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each...

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of ...

There's a fire at the local chemical plant...

One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. Before long, it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments from miles around.

After fighting the fire for over an hour, the plant president approached the fire chief and said "All our secr...

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The sex position 69 will now be called 96

This is due to inflation, the cost of eating out increased.

A man was walking home one night.

A young man was walking home one night. The street was pitch black. As he passed the gates of a small cemetery, he felt as if he was being followed. Suddenly, he heard a bump behind him. Afraid to look back, he increased his pace.

Bump, bump, bump.

The bumping behind him continued, ge...

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Easily accessible porn is causing increased cases of erectile dysfunction in younger populations...

Its a growing problem.

My wife told me you've aged like a fine wine. More complex, more flavoursome, increased sweetness. Overall tastier

But with more body

In the early 1970s, researchers discovered that a certain enzyme in a specific breed of seagull chicks granted dolphins that ate them a dramatically increased lifespan…

Hoping that this could be made viable for humans, they started extensive testing.

Unfortunately, the breed of gulls wasn't native to the area around their laboratory.

They sent a research assistant up the coast to gather additional specimens.

On his way back with a truckload o...

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A man hears about a magical lake…

…. where taking a bath increases penis size by an inch. He travels across the country in search of the this majestic lake when he comes across a homeless person who points towards a tall mountain and tells him the lake is on the top.

The man hastily arrives at the bottom of the mountain try...

As i’ve grown older, I realised the number of people i’ve lost along the way have increased.

Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t suited tor me.

Woody Harrelson was heard recently to have increased interest in computer technology

Especially the RAM part.

Scientists are saying that the capital of the Republic of Ireland has increased by a staggering 100%!

It’s Dublin

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Executives at Monsanto have announced an initiative to genetically alter deer for increased movement speed.

Those assholes will do anything to make a quick buck

The popularity of origami has increased

ten fold.

Ever since learning the meaning of the word exponentially my use of the word exponentially has increased

loads

Me: I can’t believe it increased by 1500%.

Professor: I’m sick of hearing about BITCOIN! Nothing can increase by that much and still be a good investment.

Me: I was talking about the price of college tuition since 1980...

I've become much more attractive during the pandemic

My gravity increased.

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Tommy goes to the doctor complaining about increased appetite and insatiable hunger.

The doctor asks for the symptoms and diagnoses that he has tapeworms. The doctor prescribes medication and asks to meet him in a week. Tommy comes back and says that it was ineffective and that he still feels hungry all the time.

The doctor prescribes new stronger medicine but even then T...

In just 24 hours, my level in English has increased dramatically.

I understood almost all words from the presidential press conference.

A pastor asked his congregation for a raise...

A pastor's wife was pregnant, and he asked his congregation for a pay raise... they took a vote, and decided that every time a pastor had a child, their pay would be increased...

...after the preacher's 6th child, the congregation began to get uneasy about the pastor's high pay rate. They met...

Realizing that the AT-AT doesn't have enough armor around the back, the Empire released a new batch with increased armor...

and called them the PHAT-ATs

Side effects may include increased or decreased intelligence, headaches, red eyes, loss of sleep, drowsiness, suicidal thoughts, narcolepsy, unsuppressed crying, and death.

Ask your doctor if you should take school today.

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