After falling on hard times, Mike Tyson decided to set up a "get punched by a celebrity" booth at the state fair, but sadly there was little interest.

Yeah he was hoping for a punch line too.

As a male, if a girl gets undressed in front of you, she is either interested in you or you're level 100 friendzoned

Or she hasn't spotted you in the tree yet.

My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3years, when we separated, she returned exactly $100.

I lost Interest in that relationship.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man goes to an interest-free bank.

Man : I would like to open an account.

Banker : Who the fuck cares?

Man: Hey sir! Could I interest you in a microscope?

Customer: No thanks, I’d have no use.
Man: Here is my business card in case you ever do!
Customer: I can’t read this, it’s too small!
Man: Boy have I got the product for you!

Why do catholic priests have no interest in expensive scotches?

They’re all at least 18 years old.

What separates having a healthy interest in the English language from an unhealthy obsession is...

addictionary.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My wife complained to me that I don't take an interest in her family.

Now she is upset because I fucked her sister. I can't win.

A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan

A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan.

The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?"

The woman says, "Yes, of course. I'll use my Rolls Royce."

The banker, stunned, asks, "A $250,000 Ro...

Did you hear about the honest, trustworthy politician that recently had his constituents best interests in mind?

Me neither.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex.

The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! I...

Does anybody want to hang out and form a bond over our shared interests?

I'm asking for a friend.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I used to be a sadistic necrophiliac with an interest in bestiality.

But eventually I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Ohayo means "good morning" in Japanese

And that is the most interesting thing about Ohio.

I told my boss I needed a raise to stay at work because there are three different companies showing interest in me...

He asked me which companies and I told him, "The gas, electric, and cable ones"

Two lawyers were discussing a colleague's interest in one of the firm's new secretaries.

"I don't get it," said one. "She's an airhead - nothing going on upstairs."

"That may be true," replied the other, "but I don't think that's the floor he's getting off on."

Why do Women lose interest when Men struggle financially?

Because that Man generates no *Interest*.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Blue Collar Joke

A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers....

What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times?

Windows 10.

I'm really pleased to see a surge of interest in Information Technology.

Some of the most popular videos on YouTube right now are about IT!

What do you call a werewolf who has taken an interest in social justice?

Awarewolf

I've lost interest in dating

I decided to tell my therapist that archaeology just wasn't my thing anymore.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A recent article in the Daily Post reported that a man, Dave Harper, sued St Pauls Hospital, saying that after his wife had surgery there, she lost all interest in sex.

A Hospital spokesman replied:
Mrs Harper was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct her eyesight.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

NSFW - The Little Girl and the Construction Site

A family moved into a house next door to an empty construction site. Later in the year, builders started construction.

The family's 8 year old daughter was utterly fascinated by the daily activities of the builders and sat on the fence after school each day and all day weekends, watching....

A bakery owner hired a young female shop assistant

A bakery owner hired a young female shop assistant who liked to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant and at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brillia...

What do you call a fat guy with an unhealthy interest in his mother?

Adipose Rex.

I've grown an interest with Mussolini's Italy.

I guess you can call it a fascistnation.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why is it detrimental to have a robot with repressed sexual interests?

It has some kinks to work out.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I finally found a book where the love interest is a grandfather clock

It's about fucking time

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy goes shopping with his wife.

"Here's £10." She says. "Ill meet you in the pub, in an hour".

Just outside the pub a prostitute stops him and asks if he'd "like a good time".

"Just out of interest..." he says. "How much is it?"

"Well it's £100 for full-sex, £50 for a blowjob and £20 for a handjob."

"I'...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Mrs. Blum's husband has lost interest in her sexually,.....

...so she goes to the local lingerie boutique and buys some crotchless
panties. That night, when her husband comes home from work,
she yells down from the bedroom, "Honey, come upstairs...
I have a surprise for you." When he opens the bedroom door,
she's lying on the bed wearing just a...

Male logic. Another joke from an 83 year old dad.

This is a conversation between a man and his new girlfriend.
Please note that she asks 5 or 6 questions, which he answered quite simply.
She is speechless after answering only one question.

Critical Thinking At Its Very Best!:


Woman: Do you drink beer?

Man: Y...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A young native American boy visits his father, the chief of the village

After a few minutes of casual discussion, the wise chief could tell the boy was upset, so he finally asks "My son, what troubles you?"

Reluctantly, the boy answers "I... seek your knowledge, father."

Smiling proudly at his son's quest for improvement, he eagerly agrees, "Of course, my...

In the interest of of trying to make the classic doll more realistic, and easier for children to identify with, a new version is about to be released called "Divorced Barbie"

She comes with all of Ken's stuff too.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A recently widowed Jewish lady named Sarah, was sitting on a beach towel. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book...

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir, how are you?"

"Fine, thank you." he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away last year." he replied and again tur...

A Lawyer Walked Into a Bank to Get a Loan...

...and a bank employee assisted him with the requirements. The employee asked, "How much are you going to borrow, sir?"

"Five thousand dollars," the lawyer said.

"And when do you intend to pay it?" the bank employee asked.

"In 30 days."

"Okay, sir, we have a standard 18% ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I showed my date where I live.

I proudly said, "As you can see it's open-plan, with views of everywhere around. Terrific ventilation, heating, and a glorious stereo system if that interests you."

And all the judgemental bitch had to say was: "I don't know anyone else that lives in their car..."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My wife lost interest in sex with me because...

..of my gut, but we still have one thing in common: Neither one of us has seen my dick in years.

A bank tried to advertise its new current accounts

Unfortunately, there was no interest.

Sherlock Irritates Watson

A confirmed bachelor, Sherlock Holmes did not have a lack of admirers willing to satisfy all his carnal needs, but yet he chose to be single, which irritated Watson to no end. As a sidekick, Watson did not get to enjoy the constant fawning of young nubile flesh willing to submit to his every wish. O...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A farm boy graduated from college with a degree in journalism.

He got hired immediately and was told his first assignment was to write a human interest story. Being from the country, he decided to go back home to do his research.

He went to an old farmer's house way out in the hills, introduced himself to the farmer, and explained what he was there to ...

Squirrels In Church

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer
& consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there, & they should not interfere with God's divine will.


At the Baptist church, the squir...

Eating spicy food is like expressing your love to someone who has no interest in you...

you always get burned in the end.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why did the Jews in Germany not establish an organization against the Holocaust?

There was too little interest.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My wife asked me what i was doing on the computer last night...

I told her that I was looking at cheap flights.
She said 'I love you', got very excited, quickly undressed and we proceeded to have the best sex we've had in years.
It was all very weird, she's never shown an interest in darts before.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A fly is buzzing around over the surface of a lake...

Beneath the water the fly is being watched by a bass, who is thinking the fish equivalent of “if that fly drops 6 inches, I can leap out of the water and eat him”.

Meanwhile, a bear is watching the bass, the very same bass watching the fly. It knows that if the fly drops 6 inches, the fish i...

A wife wakes her husband in the middle of the night.

Her: "Honey, I have a question."

Him: "It's 2:30 in the morning, what do you want?"

Her: "If I died, would you remarry?"

Him: "What?... Well I hadn't really thought about it... I guess I would. Can we go to sleep now?"

Her: "I've got another question. If I died and you re...

A Pirate walks into a bar

(The funniest joke my friend told me, hope it hasn't been posted here before)

A Pirate enters a bar and goes to the bartender to ask for a drink.

The bartender eyes the pirate and asks him how he ended up looking like that.

"Ah you must mean the peg-leg, me lad. 'Tis a fine tale...

The Cool Clam Club

Deep beneath the ocean there is an exclusive club known for only having the coolest of clams in their midst. This was called the Cool Clam Club.


Now, the Cool Clam Club was known across the seven seas as one of the most prestigious clubs known to seakind due to the fact that their initia...

What does my savings accound and my date both have in common?

The both have 0% interest

The Condom Buyer

A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store
laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's
no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing.


The next day, the man comes back to the store, ...

A Man's wife was kidnapped by someone

Next day the kidnapper calls the man and asks for $30k to release her but the man doesn't show much interest.

Some days later kidnapper calls again and reduces the amount to $20k but again the man doesn't look like he's interested in the offer.

This continues on till the time the k...

School shootings in the U.S. have only increased in frequency in the past few years

Between the increased interest in photography class and the heroin epidemic, I've lost enough friends

Why did Burt start Burt's Bees?

Because after he discovered Ernie, he lost all interest in birds.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An African Warlord see the most beautiful American Woman he ever laid eyes on at the United Nations.

He immediately goes up to her and proposes to marry her.

She politely declined saying she is already engaged to get married.

Yet he is persistent and promises her all the riches of his country in exchange for her hand in marriage.

This peaks her interest and says she will mar...

Ever since i've installed adblock

all single girls in my area seems to have lost interest

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Telling Tale of Oliver Tin

When he was young, Oliver Tin knew nothing about what he wanted to do, except that he wanted to do everything.

At the age of 5, he had already mastered reading, and had grown bored of all the literature he could find, fiction or not. Oliver Tin took this boredom as an obligation to produce wo...

I used to be an investor.

I lost interest.

At a joint NATO training excercise,

An American officer is overseeing a firing range. There a soldiers of all nationalities present. However, the officer takes particular interest in a young Australian soldier. Whilst his peers are firing at targets, he struggles to load his gun and then it jams. The officer whispers to his fellow Ame...

Historical wife

Two men are at the pub and it's 2 AM. One of them says it'd be in his best interest if he would leave now. "When I stay away for too long, my wife gets historical."

The other man replies: "That's not a bad idea actually. I can tell you've had enough beer. You're looking for the word 'hysteric...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Yo Mama's so Stupid......

Now that I've got your attention , I wanna talk to you guys about Psychological factors are responsible for Erectile Dysfunction

Psychological factors are responsible for about 10%-20% of all cases of erectile dysfunction, or ED. It is often a secondary reaction to an underlying physical caus...

I saw a shark swimming by itself in the ocean...

...I tried to lure it to me with some meat I had on board. It did not seem intrigued and just swam away.

I guess it was just a low-interest lone shark.

A boy asks his father what politics is

His father, wanting the son think critically, told him "let's make an analogy, i am the backbone family and i am the one that makes money. Therefore i am the business class. Your mother run the economy, so she is the government. The maid is the working class. We serve your interest, so you, my boy, ...

This sub is just terrible bank of awful puns

and I'm losing interest