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Inflation

Three generations of prostitutes are all living in one house. One day the daughter prostitute comes home.

"I just got $40 for a blowjob!" she says.

"Thats ridiculous!" says the mother prostitute, "back in my day I only got $20 dollars for a blowjob!"

The grandmother prostitute p...

Inflation's getting so bad

Dollar Tree's about to change their name to Tree Fiddy.

Do you remember when air was free at the gas station, and now it's $1.50? You know why?

Inflation


Holy smokes this blew up, THANK YOU all for the awards and the silver!!

Inflation is really getting out of hand…

That’s just my 3 cents.

Inflation at the veterinarians office

A duck got trampled.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has pa...

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The sex position 69 will now be called 96

This is due to inflation, the cost of eating out increased.

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Do you smoke?

Lady: Do you smoke?

Guy: Yes I do.

Lady: How many packs a day?

Guy: 3 packs.

Lady: How much per pack?

Guy: $10.00 per pack.

Lady: And how long have you been smoking?

Guy: 15 years

Lady: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a da...

I found a used football in a second hand store...

I picked it up and took it to the counter.

"How much is this?" I asked

"That'll be $5" said the owner. "Would you like me to pump it up for you?"

"Of course, thanks a lot!" I replied.

So, he got a small pump from under the counter and in a few seconds the ball was as good...

inflation

There’s the story of an old lady selling pretzels for 25 cents on a corner in New York. Every day a young man passes her at lunchtime and drops a quarter in the cup but doesn’t take a pretzel. She never says a word. He does this for three years, until one day he drops the quarter in her cup and she ...

Have you heard 69ing will now officially be known as 96ing?

Due to inflation, eating out has gone up.

It now takes a dollar more to pump up a tyre at the local garage

I guess it's due to inflation

Given inflation...

...when does Nickelback become Dimeback?

The shop I normally go to to blow up my balloons has increased their price by 50%

That's inflation for you.

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Inflation

My wife and I like to have economic discussions in the bedroom. After one vigorous discussion about the buying power of the dollar, my wife told me "I'll show you inflation!"

I replied "I've already seen your ass tonight."

"What is inflation?" asked the CA's wife

"Initially you were 36-24-36, and now you're 48-40-48. So technically, you have more than you had earlier, but your value is less than earlier. THIS IS INFLATION"

Economics is not so difficult if we have the right examples.

Why is the cost of balloons going up and up?

Inflation

My local gas station started charging money just to put air in your tires

When I commented that this had been free for decades, the attendant just looked at me and said "that's inflation for you".

Due to inflation a man had to carry a wheelbarrow filled with $1 billion dollars, all in $1 bills

All the banks fail so he has to store his money in a wheelbarrow

He carries the wheelbarrow around town looking for things to buy with his enormous amount of money

He can’t buy anything since even the simplest thing like an apple or a banana cost $2 billion dollars

One day he...

Man, balloons sure are getting expensive…

…I guess that’s inflation for ya.

I bought a balloon for $0.99

How much should I sell it for after I adjust for inflation?

Apple really is the most futuristic company out there

They have already adjusted their prices for the next 50 years of inflation!

A balloon seller was selling his balloons.... His sign read DEFLATED BALLONS-$1.... INFLATED BALLOONS-$250

When asked why, he said he'd adjusted the pricing for Inflation.

Why does Tom Brady hate investing cryptocurrancy

Because it could lead to inflation.

I was at the dollar store and saw balloons labeled $1 a piece. I grabbed 3 and went to the cashier who told me the total was $5.28.

I guess that’s the price of inflation

what kink do financial advisors have?

an inflation kink

(thank you, thank you, i did make this one up myself)

I went to the petrol station to pump up my car tyre...

and the guy charged me 50p. I said “it was only 20p last week”. He said “that’s the price of inflation”

A man needs to inflate his tyres...

...so he stops at a petrol station, and finds that the air pump needs a token from the petrol station shop in order to work.

The man goes in and asks for one of the tokens.

"That will be 25p" says the cashier, who he pays and gets the token.

The man returns to his car and starts...

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The government reveals their new logo today....

The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom.

I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while bein...

Donald Trump says that he plans to reduce inflation.

Shortly after, Tom Brady announced his intent to vote for Trump.

Why has the cost of balloons risen in the past ten years?

Because of inflation!

Did anyone hear about that country who started using balloons as currency?

They ended up with a massive inflation problem.

It used to be free to fill your tires with air now it costs $1.50!

Now that's what you call inflation!

I remember when I was a kid and air pumps at gas stations were free, now they cost a quarter

Damn inflation

My friend hired a hot air balloon for his wedding.

They quoted him 200 and on the day charged 400. Said it was due to inflation.

It cost a lot for our rubber dinghy, even back then. Let’s get it ready again!

(Adjusted for inflation)

I went to the shop to buy a foot pump for our new air bed. I was shocked by how much the price had risen since the last pump I purchased.

But yer, I suppose that’s the cost of inflation.

My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday. The guy said the rental was $50 and the set-up fee was $1000 dollars. I said, “That’s outrageous!”

He just shrugged and said, “That’s inflation for you.”

Why does it cost $2.00 to put air in my tires?

Inflation.

Why does it cost so much to pump your tyres nowadays?

Inflation.

The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fill up our car's gas tank and tires...

She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, "Why in the world do they charge for AIR?!"

I responded, "Inflation."

A time traveler comes back from the year 2045

I encountered a time traveler today. During my self isolation he came to the door dressed in a hazmat suit. I was of course alarmed when I opened the door to such a site. He quickly explained who he was and asked if he could have just a few minutes of my time. I didn't believe anything he was sa...

Why are balloons expensive?

Inflation!

I’ll see myself out, unless this blows up.

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