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Inflation

Three generations of prostitutes are all living in one house. One day the daughter prostitute comes home.

"I just got $40 for a blowjob!" she says.

"Thats ridiculous!" says the mother prostitute, "back in my day I only got $20 dollars for a blowjob!"

The grandmother prostitute p...

Does anyone know how much a blimp is worth?

I was going to google it, but I was worried it wouldn't account for inflation.

Apple really is the most futuristic company out there

They have already adjusted their prices for the next 50 years of inflation!

My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday. The guy said the rental was $50 and the set-up fee was $1000 dollars. I said, “That’s outrageous!”

He just shrugged and said, “That’s inflation for you.”

Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.

He said "inflation"

What do you call rampant inflation in a prison's microenconomy?

A soap bubble

Donald Trump says that he plans to reduce inflation.

Shortly after, Tom Brady announced his intent to vote for Trump.

Keep your money away from any balloons

Otherwise it will be affected by inflation.

I remember when it used to cost 25 cents to fill my tires at the gas station. Now it costs $1.25!

Inflation is getting out of hand.

I remember when I was a kid and air pumps at gas stations were free, now they cost a quarter

Damn inflation

"What is inflation?" asked the CA's wife

"Initially you were 36-24-36, and now you're 48-40-48. So technically, you have more than you had earlier, but your value is less than earlier. THIS IS INFLATION"

Economics is not so difficult if we have the right examples.

Putting air in your tires used to be free now its costs a dollar...

Its called inflation.

A Man Notices His Tires Look a Little Flat

He takes his car to a local gas station with an air pump for the tires. He looks at the price for five minutes of air, and it says "$1.50". He then realizes he left his wallet at home. When he comes back with his wallet, the sign for the air pump says "$20" for five minutes. Baffled, he goes inside ...

They say balloons cost more these days because of helium shortages.

I think it's inflation.

On a visit to see his grandmother, a teen boy listens as she goes on and on about the cost of living.

“When I was a young girl,” she moans, “you could go to the store with a dollar and come home with enough food to feed your family for weeks!”



“Well, Grandma,” the boy replies, “we learned about that in school recently, and that’s called inflation.”



“Inflation nothing!” ...

I have a conflation fetish.

People often assume I mean an inflation fetish...

And that really gets me going.

A man bought a balloon a long time ago and is selling it on eBay. What does he do first?

He adjusts the price for inflation!

A balloon seller was selling his balloons.... His sign read DEFLATED BALLONS-$1.... INFLATED BALLOONS-$250

When asked why, he said he'd adjusted the pricing for Inflation.

A beach ball was $50

So I asked the manager, "Why is this so expensive?"
The manager replied, "Inflation"

I'm outraged at the price of helium balloons.

Bloody inflation.

Why does it cost $2.00 to put air in my tires?

Inflation.

Its the bosses birthday at the bank.

Jim is blowing up some BIG balloons.
Sam comes over and notices the size.
"Whoah jim. No need for too much inflation"

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The government reveals their new logo today....

The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom.

I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while bein...

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One Wish

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon an unusual old lamp. She picked it up and cleaned it off, and suddenly a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope...due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wag...

When I was a kid a piece of bubble gum used to cost a penny. You know what happened?

Inflation.

Do you smoke?

Lady: Do you smoke ?

Man: Yes

Lady: How many packs a day ?

Man: 3 packs

Lady: How much per pack

Man: $10.00

Lady: And how long have you been smoking ?

Man: 15 years

Lady: So 1 pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending...

If I bought a balloon for $0.99...

How much should I sell it for when I adjust for inflation?

A conversation between a man and a woman

Conversation between a man and a woman. She asks him 5 or 6 questions that he answers quickly and easily. She, however, will remain silent after answering a question asked by the man:

- woman: "Do you drink beer?"

- man: "Yes"

- Woman: "How many beers do you drink a day?"
...

Balloon prices have gone up.

Damn inflation.

Why can’t clowns afford balloons anymore?

Because balloon prices are rising due to inflation.

I've paid $.25 for a bag of Top Ramen since I was in college

Either they don't raise their prices for inflation or I've been getting ripped off the past 20 years...

[At a party]

Dad: " this bouncy castle is twice the price of last year "

Kid: " dad no "

Dad: " that's.. "

Kid: " please no dad "

Dad: " ..inflation for you "

* kids start crying *

Clowns can no longer afford their ballons

because of inflation

After Harriat Tudman's face gets put on the $20 bill, it will not be valued as much...

...due to inflation you racist.

I live in a bouncy castle.

The rent is high, but that’s just due to inflation.

Why are airbags so expensive?

Because of inflation.

I sell balloons for 10p each or if you want them blown up it's 15p.

I've adjusted the price to allow for inflation.

I want to live in a bouncy castle, but...

the price of inflation would be way too big

The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fill up our car's gas tank and tires. She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, "Why in the world do they charge for AIR?!"

I responded, "Inflation."

The largest bounce house in the world is around 10,000 feet, big enough to live in...

But the rent is pretty high due to inflation

why are balloons getting so expensive nowadays?

inflation

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The Govenment made a recent announcement.....

.......that it is changing the national flag to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security whilst you're actually...

I think that we should officially change our currency to balloons.

You could much more easily control inflation.

Got my girlfriend today while airing up a tire

Her- "Why in the world did they start charging for AIR?!"

Me- "Inflation"

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The sexual position known as 69 is now called 96.

Due to inflation, the cost of eating out has increased.

I couldn't believe how expensive the new bike pump was!

I hadn't considered inflation

You are now not supposed to give breaths while doing CPR

Because of inflation

My wife and I went out for a leisurely drive to see the autumn leaves, when we noticed that one of the tires seemed to be getting low…

She was a bit taken aback when I asked her for some change and asked, "Why in the world did they start charging for AIR?!"

I looked at her and winked, "Inflation."

Patriots fans are being charged more money for Super Bowl tickets.

It’s because of inflation.

Investing in balloons just isn't as profitable as it used to be.

I blame inflation.

Ever wonder why tires are so expensive these days?

They have to adjust for inflation.

I heard balloons have gotten really expensive lately.

It must be because of inflation.

I just had to pay £1 at the garage to pump up my tires.

That's inflation for you.

All these people complaining about the price of air for tires..

They need to realize that's it's just inflation

Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents.

Guess the price has adjusted for inflation.

Did you hear the price of balloons is going to increase?

I blame it on inflation. But on the positive side, sales are supposed to go up!

Did you hear about the guy who lives in a bouncy castle?

When interviewed about it, he said “the rent had become more expensive as of late... but it’s mostly due to inflation.”

Tom Brady said he refuses to invest in bitcoin.

Turns out he's afraid of inflation.

What do my ex wife and the economy have in common?

Inflation over time

In the toy shop in my area, packet balloons cost $0.10 each, but $10 when filled with air?

God damn inflation.

A man is with his wife who's filling up their flat tire with air...

"Since when do you need to pay to fill up a tire?" says the wife.


"I don't know," replies the husband. "But I'm sure it has something to do with inflation."

Meanwhile in business news...

...balloon prices are plummeting. Experts are putting it down to a poor inflation rate

Walking Economy

A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm just a walking economy."

His friend replies, "What do you mean?"

"It's like this: My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a de...

Why are so many businessmen fat?

Must be all the inflation.

A woman walks into a sports shop

She asks one of the employees for a pump needle. The employee finds one for her and says, "That will be 1 dollar". The lady responds, "That is odd, the last time I was here they only cost 50 cents". The employee responded, "Sorry ma'am, but that is inflation for ya"

A man needs to inflate his tyres...

...so he stops at a petrol station, and finds that the air pump needs a token from the petrol station shop in order to work.

The man goes in and asks for one of the tokens.

"That will be 25p" says the cashier, who he pays and gets the token.

The man returns to his car and starts...

The price of balloons have been plummeting...

Specialists say it's due to inflation.

The price of a balloon has really gone up recently

I think it's because of inflation

I wanted to have a blimp of my own

But it is so above my reach due to all the inflation!

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9 Inches [Long-ish]

A guy walks into the bar when he sees a man pull out his wallet, and from the wallet a very small man jumps up playing a piano and returns to the wallet. The guy, astounded by what he just saw, asks the man "How did you get that person into your wallet playing the tiny piano?" the man responds "well...

What do the American dollar and the American dress size have in common?

Both have had to adjust for inflation.

Why couldn't the birthday clown make balloon animals for the children?

With the rising cost of inflation he couldn't afford it anymore.

Have you guys seen how expensive it is nowadays to fill your bicycle tires?

Damn inflation...

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