UPJOKE
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Inflation is out of control

That's just my $5 bucks.

call me crazy, but i think it is possible for a Democratic president who spent his first term setting records for high inflation, gas prices and low approval ratings to win a second term in office

Jimmy Carter 2024

Why are pufferfish so expensive these days?

Inflation

It’s just cost me 1 whole pound to put air in my tires

5 years ago it used to cost me 20p. Suppose that’s inflation for you

I cut some ones grass today. my usual price is £10 but due to the current inflation rate of 3.4%..

It cost £20

I just called a bouncy house place for my kids birthday party...

We got one larger than last year but the guy quoted us 50% higher cost.

I asked him whats up with the price.

He said, blame inflation.

What did the banker say when he heard inflation was at an all time high?

That really peaks my interest

Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.

Inflation

Inflation is really getting out of hand..

That’s just my 3 cents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just had to pay to refill the air in my tyres. It used to be free!!

Fucking inflation

Homes are so expensive in my area I had to move into my friend's bouncy castle.

The rent's pretty expensive, but it's mostly due to inflation.

Inflation at the veterinarians office

A duck got trampled.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has pa...

Inflation is so bad right now ..

That a picture is now worth 2000 words.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Due to inflation, the rapper Chamillionaire is changing his name to ChaMiddleClass.

2 Chainz also announced that he’s changing his name, due to supply chain issues

Anyone see 50 cent perform at the Super Bowl?

Inflation is real

Did you hear the cost of balloons are going up?

That’s what inflation does

Have you heard about the helium shortage?

It's only gotten worse with inflation.

Why do bags of potato chips have so much less chips these days?

Inflation

The Cost of Air..

I WENT to the service station to put air in my tyres, and they wanted to charge me $2.

I said, “How come you charge now? I thought it was free.”

They replied, “That’s inflation for you!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The sex position 69 will now be called 96

This is due to inflation, the cost of eating out increased.

Have you heard 69ing will now officially be known as 96ing?

Due to inflation, eating out has gone up.

It now takes a dollar more to pump up a tyre at the local garage

I guess it's due to inflation

The shop I normally go to to blow up my balloons has increased their price by 50%

That's inflation for you.

I found a used football in a second hand store...

I picked it up and took it to the counter.

"How much is this?" I asked

"That'll be $5" said the owner. "Would you like me to pump it up for you?"

"Of course, thanks a lot!" I replied.

So, he got a small pump from under the counter and in a few seconds the ball was as good...

went to the gas station to pump up my car tire... and the guy charged me 50 cents. I said “it was only 20 gents last week”.

He said “that’s the price of inflation”

Did anyone hear about that country who started using balloons as currency?

They ended up with a massive inflation problem.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you smoke?

Lady: Do you smoke?

Guy: Yes I do.

Lady: How many packs a day?

Guy: 3 packs.

Lady: How much per pack?

Guy: $10.00 per pack.

Lady: And how long have you been smoking?

Guy: 15 years

Lady: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a da...

I bought a balloon for $0.99

How much should I sell it for after I adjust for inflation?

Man, balloons sure are getting expensive…

…I guess that’s inflation for ya.

My local gas station started charging money just to put air in your tires

When I commented that this had been free for decades, the attendant just looked at me and said "that's inflation for you".

Why does Tom Brady hate investing cryptocurrancy

Because it could lead to inflation.

I went to the shop to buy a foot pump for our new air bed. I was shocked by how much the price had risen since the last pump I purchased.

But yer, I suppose that’s the cost of inflation.

It cost a lot for our rubber dinghy, even back then. Let’s get it ready again!

(Adjusted for inflation)

Given inflation...

...when does Nickelback become Dimeback?

I was at the dollar store and saw balloons labeled $1 a piece. I grabbed 3 and went to the cashier who told me the total was $5.28.

I guess that’s the price of inflation

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Inflation

My wife and I like to have economic discussions in the bedroom. After one vigorous discussion about the buying power of the dollar, my wife told me "I'll show you inflation!"

I replied "I've already seen your ass tonight."

what kink do financial advisors have?

an inflation kink

(thank you, thank you, i did make this one up myself)

inflation

There’s the story of an old lady selling pretzels for 25 cents on a corner in New York. Every day a young man passes her at lunchtime and drops a quarter in the cup but doesn’t take a pretzel. She never says a word. He does this for three years, until one day he drops the quarter in her cup and she ...

Why has the cost of balloons risen in the past ten years?

Because of inflation!

Remember when getting air at a gas station was free? Now they charge you anywhere from a quarter to a dollar!

I guess that's the cost of inflation for you.

A guy was selling ballons.

$1 for the ballon

And extra $0.50 to have it blown up (to allow for inflation)

A time traveler comes back from the year 2045

I encountered a time traveler today. During my self isolation he came to the door dressed in a hazmat suit. I was of course alarmed when I opened the door to such a site. He quickly explained who he was and asked if he could have just a few minutes of my time. I didn't believe anything he was sa...

I asked the guy at the garage why it used to be 10p to put air in my tyres and now it's £1.50.

He just shrugged and said "Inflation".

It used to be free to fill your tires with air now it costs $1.50!

Now that's what you call inflation!

Due to inflation a man had to carry a wheelbarrow filled with $1 billion dollars, all in $1 bills

All the banks fail so he has to store his money in a wheelbarrow

He carries the wheelbarrow around town looking for things to buy with his enormous amount of money

He can’t buy anything since even the simplest thing like an apple or a banana cost $2 billion dollars

One day he...

Her: They're charging a dollar to pump up your tires now

Me: That's inflation for you

The guy from Up had to sell his house recently.

Inflation hit hard.

Why is the air pump at gas stations so expensive?

Inflation.



Credit to @foone on the twitters.

Why does it cost so much to pump your tyres nowadays?

Inflation.

Why are balloons expensive?

Inflation!

I’ll see myself out, unless this blows up.

My friend hired a hot air balloon for his wedding.

They quoted him 200 and on the day charged 400. Said it was due to inflation.

I'm waiting to invest in a hot air balloon

I don't want to lose my life's savings to inflation

Apple really is the most futuristic company out there

They have already adjusted their prices for the next 50 years of inflation!

I have a conflation fetish.

People often assume I mean an inflation fetish...

And that really gets me going.

A Man Notices His Tires Look a Little Flat

He takes his car to a local gas station with an air pump for the tires. He looks at the price for five minutes of air, and it says "$1.50". He then realizes he left his wallet at home. When he comes back with his wallet, the sign for the air pump says "$20" for five minutes. Baffled, he goes inside ...

A man bought a balloon a long time ago and is selling it on eBay. What does he do first?

He adjusts the price for inflation!

On a visit to see his grandmother, a teen boy listens as she goes on and on about the cost of living.

“When I was a young girl,” she moans, “you could go to the store with a dollar and come home with enough food to feed your family for weeks!”



“Well, Grandma,” the boy replies, “we learned about that in school recently, and that’s called inflation.”



“Inflation nothing!” ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One Wish

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon an unusual old lamp. She picked it up and cleaned it off, and suddenly a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope...due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wag...

A beach ball was $50

So I asked the manager, "Why is this so expensive?"
The manager replied, "Inflation"

Its the bosses birthday at the bank.

Jim is blowing up some BIG balloons.
Sam comes over and notices the size.
"Whoah jim. No need for too much inflation"

Why does it cost $2.00 to put air in my tires?

Inflation.

After Harriat Tudman's face gets put on the $20 bill, it will not be valued as much...

...due to inflation you racist.

Clowns can no longer afford their ballons

because of inflation

Why can’t clowns afford balloons anymore?

Because balloon prices are rising due to inflation.

A conversation between a man and a woman

Conversation between a man and a woman. She asks him 5 or 6 questions that he answers quickly and easily. She, however, will remain silent after answering a question asked by the man:

- woman: "Do you drink beer?"

- man: "Yes"

- Woman: "How many beers do you drink a day?"
...

When I was a kid a piece of bubble gum used to cost a penny. You know what happened?

Inflation.

My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday. The guy said the rental was $50 and the set-up fee was $1000 dollars. I said, “That’s outrageous!”

He just shrugged and said, “That’s inflation for you.”

[At a party]

Dad: " this bouncy castle is twice the price of last year "

Kid: " dad no "

Dad: " that's.. "

Kid: " please no dad "

Dad: " ..inflation for you "

* kids start crying *

I want to live in a bouncy castle, but...

the price of inflation would be way too big

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