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Inflation Jokes

Inflation in the US is so bad right now that…

- My friend received a predeclined credit card in the mail.
- CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
- Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
- McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
- Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
- Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned ...

The great thing about inflation,

is if you spend the same on groceries,

the bags are lighter and easier to carry home.

"What is inflation?" asked the CA's wife

"Initially you were 36-24-36, and now you're 48-40-48. So technically, you have more than you had earlier, but your value is less than earlier. THIS IS INFLATION"

Economics is not so difficult if we have the right examples.

BREAKING: Due to inflation, Dollar Tree will be changing it’s name…

…to Tree Dollar.

Inflation has got so bad..

that pi is now best approximated to 5.2

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As a new adult I realized how bad inflation got when I paid for my first prostitute.

My grandpa used to say it something about how it was only "a penny for your thots".

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Inflation is so high that

women in LA are wearing last year’s breasts.

I thought of an inflation joke the other day

It's not as funny today

Due to inflation

The phrase "a dime a dozen" has gone up to "a dollar a dozen"

“69” is now known as “96”.

Thanks to inflation the cost of eating out has gone way up.

Apple really is the most futuristic company out there

They have already adjusted their prices for the next 50 years of inflation!

If I had a dollar for every time inflation devalued our currency…..

I'd already have a quarter by the time you finished reading this....

But, That's just my 2 cents.

Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.

He said "inflation"

Why is helium so expensive these days?

Because of all the inflation.

Inflation is so high…

My favorite rapper changed his name to 75 Cent

In the wake of inflation, and the conflict in Eastern Europe...

... the German government predicts an imminent shortage of sausage and cheese, and are formulating a plan for emergency intervention to deal with this impending crisis.

They're referring to the plan as their Wurst/Kase scenario.

Inflation at the veterinarians office

A duck got trampled.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has pa...

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Inflation

Three generations of prostitutes are all living in one house. One day the daughter prostitute comes home.

"I just got $40 for a blowjob!" she says.

"Thats ridiculous!" says the mother prostitute, "back in my day I only got $20 dollars for a blowjob!"

The grandmother prostitute p...

President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon

Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.

Inflation is so bad right now ..

That a picture is now worth 2000 words.

Given inflation...

...when does Nickelback become Dimeback?

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The government reveals their new logo today....

The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom.

I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while bein...

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Due to inflation, the rapper Chamillionaire is changing his name to ChaMiddleClass.

2 Chainz also announced that he’s changing his name, due to supply chain issues

What did the banker say when he heard inflation was at an all time high?

That really peaks my interest

Inflation is really getting out of hand...

But that's just my 5 cents.

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Do you smoke?

Lady: Do you smoke?

Guy: Yes I do.

Lady: How many packs a day?

Guy: 3 packs.

Lady: How much per pack?

Guy: $10.00 per pack.

Lady: And how long have you been smoking?

Guy: 15 years

Lady: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a da...

inflation

There’s the story of an old lady selling pretzels for 25 cents on a corner in New York. Every day a young man passes her at lunchtime and drops a quarter in the cup but doesn’t take a pretzel. She never says a word. He does this for three years, until one day he drops the quarter in her cup and she ...

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I decided to sell some of my guns today

Times are rough, inflation is a bitch, and I need the cash so I decided to sell some of my guns.

I met the buyer at a public location, and being a responsible gun owner I decided to run a background check.

Within 5 minutes I discovered the buyer has a history of extortion, kidnapping, ...

Instead of actual serious spying gear, the Chinese used a balloon. Why?

Because of inflation.

Putting air in your tires used to be free now its costs a dollar...

Its called inflation.

I remember when I was a kid and air pumps at gas stations were free, now they cost a quarter

Damn inflation

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I just had to pay to refill the air in my tyres. It used to be free!!

Fucking inflation

Why are balloon prices up?

Inflation.

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genie and the wish

A woman walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman soon came back to her senses and asked if she got three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope. . . due to inflation, constant downsizing, fierce ...

The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fill up our car's gas tank and tires...

She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, "Why in the world do they charge for AIR?!"

I responded, "Inflation."

My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday. The guy said the rental was $50 and the set-up fee was $1000 dollars. I said, “That’s outrageous!”

He just shrugged and said, “That’s inflation for you.”

A man needs to inflate his tyres...

...so he stops at a petrol station, and finds that the air pump needs a token from the petrol station shop in order to work.

The man goes in and asks for one of the tokens.

"That will be 25p" says the cashier, who he pays and gets the token.

The man returns to his car and starts...

Anyone see 50 cent perform at the Super Bowl?

Inflation is real

Donald Trump says that he plans to reduce inflation.

Shortly after, Tom Brady announced his intent to vote for Trump.

Due to inflation a man had to carry a wheelbarrow filled with $1 billion dollars, all in $1 bills

All the banks fail so he has to store his money in a wheelbarrow

He carries the wheelbarrow around town looking for things to buy with his enormous amount of money

He can’t buy anything since even the simplest thing like an apple or a banana cost $2 billion dollars

One day he...

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