This is why divorce rates are always increasing

Why did I get divorced, you ask? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't get me a present and didn't even wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my co-workers didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy b...

Is Hell endothermic or exothermic?

The e-mail was on the weighty matter of the nature of hell, as allegedly posed by a Dr Robert Shambaugh of the University of Oklahoma school of chemical engineering. It purports to be a final exam question from May 1997.

His May 1997 question for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class ...

Birth rates in Alabama have declined due to COVID19...

... restrictions prohibiting family gatherings.

I got rid of my house, cars and credit cards to get my interest rates lower..

It worked! Now girls are barely interested in me..
(Heard it from somewhere on tv maybe)

Chicken pie in the Bahamas...

A chicken pie in the Bahamas costs $7, while a shepherd's pie, in Jamaica, costs $8. But a mushroom pie in Bermuda only costs $3.

That's right.

Those are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

Do you know why pies are so expensive in the Bahamas?

or are you ignorant of the pie rates of the Caribbean?

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Each time me and my german girlfriend have sex, she rates me out of 10

Last night we tried anal and she couldn't stop screaming 9. That's the best I've ever gotten.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Prostitute rates...NSFW

Man approaches a prostitute and asks for her rates.
She replies, โ€œ $10 for a quickie on the grass, $30 for a quickie in the car, and $50 for a sensual girlfriend experience at a hotel.โ€

The man says, โ€œok, heres $50.โ€

The prostitute say, โ€œ ok cool, i see you a man of class!โ€

T...

An apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica.

The same apple pie costs $3.00 in the Dominican Republic.

These are the pie rates of the Carribean.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Every time I have sex with my German girlfriend she rates it.

Today I set a new high score which was 9 (NOT OC)

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Do you know why Japan has one of the lowest obesity rates in the world?

Because the last time there was a Fat Man in their country, it didn't end well

Why donโ€™t pirates do very well in school?

Theyโ€™re only used to high Cโ€™s

My activist friend was extremely sad after the recent news that recycling rates were at an all time low

Until I showed her r/jokes

Did you know?

That 3.14% of sailors are PI-rates?

Why were birth rates low in 1970?

Why were birth rates low in 1970?

.

You can't get pregnant during '69.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why does Japan have low birth and obesity rates?

Coz the last time they saw a fat man and a little boy 200,000 people died.

I heard due to the pandemic jobs of all types have been affected. Even employment rates for hitmen are down 75 percent...

On the bright side, demand for ninja assassins is through the roof!

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