Did you know that fighting increases your risk of heart attack?

Because it's assault.

They say that being scared of spiders increases the chances of them crawling into your bed while you are sleeping.

Personally, I am terrified of scarlett Johansson.

If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke.

If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck.

The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"

Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question." The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye." "Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That’s correct." She then ...

Fun fact: Alligators can live up to 100 years

Which increases the likelihood they’ll see you later

Wife: Hey, guess this "What always increases, but never decrease?"

Husband: Your weight?

Why does a failed physicist smokes marijuana?

Because as he gets high he increases his potential.

What happens if the average number of bullies at a school goes up?

The mean increases.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Chinese have developed a new pill that increases the average penis size by 3 inches.

Reports say they will use it to interfere with the upcoming U.S. erections.

If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day, it increases the chances of a stroke by 50%

Let her finish the bottle and she'll probably suck it as well.

They say the value of something increases when you shout it out...

5 = 5

5! = 120

So a man walks into a bar..

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?"

The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Recent study shows that masturbating twice weekly increases life expectancy by 20%.

I've done the maths. I am immortal.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I spin around my sexual desire increases.

I think it's an aphrodizzyac.

The World Health Organization has stated that eating bacon increases your chances of getting cancer.

Statistics also show that not eating bacon dramatically increases your chances of blowing yourself up.

Scientists have recently discovered a virus that increases the apathy of those infected.

No one seems to care.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The 6th grade science teacher asks her class a question.

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will g...

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