### The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"

Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question." The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye." "Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "Thatโs correct." She then ...

### They say the value of something increases when you shout it out...

5 = 5

5! = 120

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### The Chinese have developed a new pill that increases the average penis size by 3 inches.

Reports say they will use it to interfere with the upcoming U.S. erections.

### If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day, it increases the chances of a stroke by 50%

Let her finish the bottle and she'll probably suck it as well.

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### Recent study shows that masturbating twice weekly increases life expectancy by 20%.

I've done the maths. I am immortal.

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### When I spin around my sexual desire increases.

I think it's an aphrodizzyac.

### The World Health Organization has stated that eating bacon increases your chances of getting cancer.

Statistics also show that not eating bacon dramatically increases your chances of blowing yourself up.

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### What organ can expand to 10 times it is size............

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered so the teacher picked on a random student
Little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going ...

### Scientists have recently discovered a virus that increases the apathy of those infected.

No one seems to care.

### So a man walks into a bar..

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?"

The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches,...

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### Putting dogs on product packaging increases sales by up to 25%.

Unless you are trying to sell tires or sex toys.

### Did you know that being possessed by a ghost increases your body weight?

For weight loss, exorcising is recommended.

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### 20-Year double-blind university study in Sweden on the effects of diet on sex drive

Researchers in Sweden tracked 2,000 couples from the moment they first started dating out to twenty (20) years forward.

Obviously, most of the couples ended up getting divorced, but their behavior and health was still tracked throughout the study....

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### A man wins an online contest but enters the wrong email address to access the code.

He realizes that his account is on yahoo instead of gmail and now someone else has received the code to access the \$5000 prize. He drives to his office disheartened and asks his secretary if he should just send an email to the account requesting the person to forward the code. Then his frustration i...

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### A man with a small penis finally gathers the courage to talk to a doctor about it.

The man explains his situation, and asks the doctor if there are any over the counter pills he can take.

"Not really, you see, most of these miracle pills don't actually work, and come with a plethora of side effects," the doctor replied. "But, I can write you a prescription that should fix t...

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### Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-week strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife

Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday, when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death, would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in rec...

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### A new husband store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in London where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ...

### The Husband Store

So a new store opened up in town where women can go and find the love of their lives. There are some rules though:

1. You can only shop once. Ever.
2. The quality of the 'merchandise' increases as you go up a floor (there are 6 floors total)
3. You can choose any product from any floor,...

### A king is looking for a new chief advisor.

His choices are a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer.
His test is simple: Whoever can determine the volume of a red rubber ball will be the new chief advisor, provided his explanation makes sense to the king, and that the king can trust the calculation.

The physicist goes firs...

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### The perfect small car

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.
Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.

It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him wh...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐ค

### Health tip

If a women drinks two glasses of wine a night, it increases the likelihood of a stroke.

If she drinks the whole bottle, then she's likely to throw in a blowjob as well.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐ค

### A woman is in the hospital in a coma...

and the husband is in the waiting room. The doctor comes out and tells the husband every time he gets near her crotch, her heart rate increases, and tells the husband he believes oral sex will bring her out of the coma.

The husband enters the room. Shortly after, the doctor hears a flatline a...

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