Increases Jokes - 20 Hilarious Increases Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to...

The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"

The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question."

The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That's easy," says Johnny. "I...

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If a woman drinks 2 glasses of wine a day, it increases the chances of a stroke.

If you let her finish the bottle, she'll probably suck it as well.

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If you say a number loud enough its value increases.

* 5 = 5
* 5! = 120

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With all the increases in computer processing and storage...

You would think Microsoft would have released ExExcel by now.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?"

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?"

The bartender considers it, then agrees.

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat.

He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano.
...

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My friend regularly takes anti-diarrhea pills and claims it increases his work productivity, due to reduced trips to the restroom daily.

I think he's full of shit.

People are 63% more likely to believe a made up stat if you say it confidently

This increases to 78.47 if you add a decimal

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Recent study shows that masturbating twice weekly increases life expectancy by 20%.

I've done the maths. I am immortal.

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Did you know that the Earth’s gravity increases a bit on Easter Sunday?

It’s cuz there’s a lot more mass.

Wife: Hey, guess this "What always increases, but never decrease?"

Husband: Your weight?

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Did you know that fighting increases your risk of heart attack?

Because it's assault.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I spin around my sexual desire increases.

I think it's an aphrodizzyac.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Chinese have developed a new pill that increases the average penis size by 3 inches.

Reports say they will use it to interfere with the upcoming U.S. erections.

If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke.

If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck.

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The World Health Organization has stated that eating bacon increases your chances of getting cancer.

Statistics also show that not eating bacon dramatically increases your chances of blowing yourself up.

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Putting dogs on product packaging increases sales by up to 25%.

Unless you are trying to sell tires or sex toys.

Scientists have recently discovered a virus that increases the apathy of those infected.

No one seems to care.

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They say that being scared of spiders increases the chances of them crawling into your bed while you are sleeping.

Personally, I am terrified of scarlett Johansson.

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A nurse is bathing a female patient who is in coma

She notices that whenever she touches the genital area, patient's heart rate increases. She gets the idea that oral sex might help her regain consciousness. The nurse then calls patient's husband and tell him that oral sex might revive her and so the husband agrees to help.

The following nigh...

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