"The Russians wouldn't lie about radiation levels, would they?"

"Sure, no bull."

The carbon dioxide levels in our atmosphere are now higher than they’ve ever been, but there are ways that we can reduce that number by half.

Divide it by 2.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Depression levels

Therapist: on a scale of 1 to 10 rate your depression.



Me:. π


Therapist: what


Me: low level and never ending.

This St. Patrick's Day, Julia Roberts has a new movie coming out. It's about a woman who fights to expose the toxic levels of green beer.

It's called Erin Go Bragh-kovich.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There have been troubling developments with Europe’s terror threat levels, recently:

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1...

Holmes and Watson are out hunting one day. John spies something moving in the bushes, and with practiced aim, levels his rifle and fires. They pull aside the brush to reveal a severed leg, with a clean bullet wound just below the ankle.

“Watson!” Holmes cries out. “The game’s afoot!”

Why are sea levels getting higher?

Cause of the sea weed.

My dad went for a blood glucose level test, this was way back in the 90's. After the test procedure was done, the nurse said, " your blood glucose levels are very high." To which my dad said, " Oh sweet!"

God bless his soul

I saw Al Gore talking about rising sea levels the other day...

He really needs to come to terms with losing Florida.

Scientists have announced that dolphins are second to man in intelligence levels.

So that pushes women down to third place.

If all diplomatic issues could be solved with a board game like monopoly, we wouldn't see the current levels violence in the world.

No, they'd be *way* higher.

My 11yo: " How did Freddie Mercury die?"

"He bit the dust."

#

I don't care what you think. That was dad-joke levels of funny.

Jesus went into the mountains with his disciples; and he began to teach them, saying:

Blessed are the meek.

Blessed are the poor in spirit.

Blessed are those who mourn.

Blessed are the peacemakers.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.

And Peter said: Will this be in the test?

And Philip said: Were we supposed...

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