Levels Jokes

0mg!!

1) You pick up a hitchhiker, A beautiful young girl. Suddenly she faints inside your car. You take her to the hospital.

-Stressful

2) But hospital says she is pregnant and you are going to be a father. You swiftly say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are!!

-Ver... read more

In hertz

Condifent

Over condifent

The person reading the above two words as confident.

Pain and pleasure in the physical plane. Enlightenment in the spiritual plane. And no leg room in the air plane.

Apart from Cork, which will stay afloat.

I was a receptionist at a hotel, and the phone started ringing. I could see by the screen that it was the extension for the elevator's phone. I picked it up, and a voice I recognize as a particularly rude and troublesome guest, immediately starts yelling: "What the (beep) do I press to get out of th... read more

Don't worry. I came to her rescue.

That's glacial profiling.

Now my mortgage is underwater.

Because they prefer level things by eye man

sea weed.

That my wife is now seeing things from my point of view!

So if your Dog needs welding I’m your man...

He really needs to come to terms with losing Florida.

Despite my A Level results being A B B A, it still seems no employer will Take a Chance On Me.

She said "Sure, what volume ?"

A woman observes her husband as he enters the kitchen, opens the sugar box, looks inside and closes it. He does it again and again. So she asks him why?

He answers: "Because the doctor told me to check my sugar levels regularly."

"Sure, no bull."

Statin island

The archaeologist's jealous wife walks in and demands to know what's going on. "Honey, it's nothing! We're just dating!"

So that pushes women down to third place.

A waterlogged logging water log.

Me: Well I kinda like the air pollution, it adds to the atmosphere.

I was wrong on so many levels.

Cause they can't grasp the concept of integration.

(all credits to my friend if he reads it here but didn't post it himself!)

You would be stoned to death.

The English are concerned about the recent increase in terrorist activities, and have therefore raised their security level from “miffed” to “peeved.” If the threats continue to grow, the security levels may be raised to “irritated” or even “a bit cross.” (The English have not seen “a bit cross” sin... read more

They take the Escalader

They're dropping pounds fast

The levels are, from bottom to top, regular, chocolate, honey nut, and the highest level is the status of Froot Loops. Jim is a regular old cheerio, and is unhappy with his life. So he studies for weeks and weeks, takes the test, and becomes a chocolate cheerio. He parties for a while, makes lots of... read more

At the bottom you've got plain cheerios, these are your basic working class folks.

Above them are the honey nut cheerios, more of the middle-management level cheerios.

After them are the fruity cheerios, you know, the real artsy, middle-class types.

At the top are the frosted ch... read more

Sadly, none of the "volunteers" have made it out alive and their families are starting to ask questions.

Before him stands the Devil.

"Hello, Bob. Welcome to Hell" the Devil says. "Now there are seven levels of hell and since your only sin was cheating on a science test in third grade, you'll be moved to level 1"

"Okay, that doesn't sound so bad" Says Bob

"Level 1 is the hottest... read more

When the wind reached a screaming pitch with the trees snapping and threshing, the horizontal streaming rain, flying roofing iron and destroyed fences as well as the unnerving sound-levels, his wife was rooted to the spot.

She stared and stared through the glass of the window. Immovable, with... read more

No, they'd be *way* higher.

Divide it by 2.

Worst thing that will happen is you'll be charged with, A salt and battery.

It works on many levels