Why are Muslim youth the best at dealing with pandemics?

Because as a Quran-Teen, you always keep Allah by your self.

I don’t see why people say dealing with cancer is hard

I’m already on stage four

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Studies suggest that masturbation is twice as effective as sex for dealing with stress.

So one in the hand really is worth 2 in the bush

The local barber just got busted for dealing drugs. I'm shocked. I've been a customer of his for 10 years.

Never knew he was a barber, though.

They arrested my neighbor dentist for dealing drugs!

I'm surprised! Being friends with him all these years I didn't know he was a dentist!

After dealing with dad-jokes all winter...

I'm hoping to get him back this summer with some son-burns.

A hairdresser got put it jail for 9 years because he was drug dealing

All this time, I've been coming to him and never did I know that he was a hairdresser

A man is driving around the backwoods and he sees a sign in front of an old, shanty style house that says - “Talking dog for sale.”

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog t...

Koalas have been dealing with the Chlamydia epidemic and now this wild fire...

at least they’re used to dealing with burning sensations.

Last week I registered for a course ‘Dealing with dissapointments’

It got cancelled again...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My first attempt at a joke in English (I'm Italian)

A group of friends is playing poker.

Now it's Michael's turn to give cards. He's got a broken hand in a cast, so he starts to shuffle them clumsily. He's really pissed at his condition and gets mad.

His friend Jim then interrupts him and says:

"Look, the problem is not the broke...

Bill Gates is the best person to deal with a pandemic

He's been dealing with viruses since Windows 95

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy from the country attended the prestigious university in the city.

With his degree, he got prizes in mathematics and metaphysics. The lad's father came up to the college to see his son graduate.

"Weel, Dr. Thompson" asked the old farmer to a professor, "And what may these mathematics be for which my son has getten a prize?"

"Mathematics is to do with ...

People complain a lot about dealing with erectile dysfunction

But it's not exactly hard, is it?

Just learned that a dentist a block away from me was arrested for dealing drugs. Shows you how wrong you can be about people. I had been going to him him for over ten years.

Never knew he was a dentist.

Saw my cousin walking down the street

Her dog got its foot stuck in a drain. I asked her if she needed help dealing with it. She told me to flip off. What a ungrateful brat, I muttered while putting my gun in its holder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Need advice. My best friend started dealing cocaine today.

He came home tonight bragging about his first blow job.

How would the Church of England deal with the statement that "the cat sat on the mat" if it appeared in the Bible?

The liberal theologians would point out that such a passage did not of course mean that the cat literally sat on the mat. Also, cat and mat had different meanings in those days from today, and anyway, the text should be interpreted according to the customs and practices of the period.

This ...

I've been dealing with intermittent impotence

It gets hard sometimes

I just told my suitcases that we're not going on holiday this year.

Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.

I decided to go out horse riding one afternoon on a horse I hadn’t rode before....

I wasn’t sure if the horse was ready for a rider just yet, so I slowly approached him, all the while talking gentle to the horse like I have always done when dealing with newer horses. I kept saying “easy boy” and I slowly reached out to pet him. The horse nervously kept its eyes on me, but he final...

A goodbye before you die

Clarification: this is a pretty popular joke, so sorry if you've already heard it.

A little girl is laying down in her bed, with her parents at her side, about to go to sleep. As she does every night, she says a prayer:

"Good night mommy, good night daddy, good night grandma and goodb...

Personal trainer just got 10 years for dealing coke

I’ve been going to him for years. Just shows you never really know someone.

I genuinely had no idea he was a personal trainer

What do you call an alcoholics drug dealing career?

Whiskey business

What did the drug-dealing duck say?

"Hey. Want some *quack?*"

3 steps in dealing with unwanted people...

Step 1: Buy a Hammer
Step2: Name it Kindness
Step 3: Kill them with Kindness

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion...

My Kid left some uncooked sausage out of the freezer overnight...

When I discovered it, I realized I was dealing with a spoiled brat.

Facebook recently started a produce market dealing exclusively in peppers.

Yet another way they're jalapeño business.

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam "Is this a union house?"

“No" she replied "I'm sorry it isn't".

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20" she answered.

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized sh...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.