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Dealing Jokes

Wow. The neighborhood barber just got arrested for dealing drugs. I've been his customer for years.

I had no idea he was a barber.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Studies suggest when it comes to dealing with stress, masturbation is twice as effective as sex

So one in the hand really is worth two in the bush.

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion...

A cold snap across the United States has seen Texas dealing with temperatures as low as -18

The demand for electricity has led to blackouts across the state, causing some people to go without Fox News for so long, they've stopped blaming the weather on Joe Biden.

I don’t see why people say dealing with cancer is hard

I’m already on stage four

People complain a lot about dealing with erectile dysfunction

But it's not exactly hard, is it?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some jerk glued every card in my deck together so now its just a block of cardboard.

I'm having trouble dealing with it.

How do you call a drug dealing cow?

A narcow

I'm sorry you're dealing with imposter syndrome

You don't deserve it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Serious time, does anyone have any tips for dealing with a sex addiction?

I've literally tried fucking everything.

"I've never been good at dealing with confrontation."

"Pardon?"

"Nothing."

After dealing with dad-jokes all winter...

I'm hoping to get him back this summer with some son-burns.

Dealing with a Barking Dog

A blonde & her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog.

It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours.

The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this."

She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to b...

They arrested my neighbor dentist for dealing drugs!

I'm surprised! Being friends with him all these years I didn't know he was a dentist!

Why are Muslim youth the best at dealing with pandemics?

Because as a Quran-Teen, you always keep Allah by your self.

I bought a DVD on dealing with disappointment.

When I opened it, the box was empty.

As an eastern European living in a western country, dealing with bureaucrats always brings me to tears

Their rudeness and arrogance make reminds me of my homeland, it makes me so nostalgic.

I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . .

. . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"The only time I relax is when I'm processing all the horrible shit everybody pressures me into dealing with," I told my therapist.

"AITA?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Need advice. My best friend started dealing cocaine today.

He came home tonight bragging about his first blow job.

Personal trainer just got 10 years for dealing coke

I’ve been going to him for years. Just shows you never really know someone.

I genuinely had no idea he was a personal trainer

3 steps in dealing with unwanted people...

Step 1: Buy a Hammer
Step2: Name it Kindness
Step 3: Kill them with Kindness

A hairdresser got put it jail for 9 years because he was drug dealing

All this time, I've been coming to him and never did I know that he was a hairdresser

Last week I registered for a course ‘Dealing with dissapointments’

It got cancelled again...

I am the man who is open, honest, and direct, especially when dealing with unpalatable matters

But you can call me Frank

What do you call an alcoholics drug dealing career?

Whiskey business

My local hair dresser just got charged with drug dealing.

I am shocked. I've been a customer of his for years. He never told me he cut hair.

Facebook recently started a produce market dealing exclusively in peppers.

Yet another way they're jalapeño business.

How is the south dealing with birth control

They are banning family reunions

Prayers for dealing with the stress of modern life

The first one is a prayer you say in the bus/train in the morning when you can't find a seat.
I always find if I pray loud enough to Allah, I get the train to myself.

My best friend tried to hide his drug dealing through a fake tobacco company and glass manufacturer.

It was all just smoke and mirrors.

This mechanic in my area went to jail for dealing drugs

I've been his customer for over 5 years...I had no clue he was a mechanic.

Dealing with Corporate Information Gathering

The other day, I was purchasing a television antenna in a major electronics store and was asked by the cashier for my name.

“Why,” I asked. ‘I don’t need a warranty.”

“I have to have it for our records,” explained the cashier.

Fed up with practice of companies gathering as mu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Interactive joke

There was a man who lived in a 3 story house. **Remember: 3 stories.**

The man entered the house and saw his wife making an omelette. He told her "You're supposed to use butter, not oil." Immediately the wife slapped him and said "Who's cooking? Me or or you?"

The man went up to the se...

Advice for dealing with all the Aaron Hernandez memes....

...hang in there, it'll die quicker than you think.

True story… three days into the pnw heatwave I overheard a coworker and his client talking about how they were dealing with the heat…

Client: “I had to spend the last three days at my girlfriends apartment” Coworker: “Oh, does she have air conditioning” Client: “No… Only Fans.”

I just learned that a dentist a block away from me was arrested for dealing drugs.

Shows you how little I actually know about people. I have been going to him for 10 years and never knew he was a dentist.

I just found out that a doctor down the street has been arrested for dealing drugs...

It shows you how wrong you c an be about people. I have been a customer for many years and he is so different than the article implies. I never knew he was a doctor.

How can you tell you are dealing with an extroverted engineer?

He's staring at somebody else's shoes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the doctor for some help dealing with my premature ejaculation.

He gave me some advice, a few brochures to read, and a prescription for some medication that might help.

Two weeks later, he called me to ask how it was going.

I said, "It's still touch and go."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just can't catch a break! No matter what job I get, I always end up dealing with stiffs!

First as a Porn Star, then as a Waiter, then finally in a Morgue. I just can't win!

Why would someone make an open-world, action-adventure game dealing with the Caribbean drug trade?

Just 'cause.

These batteries were dealing with an alkaline problem, I had to take them to

AA meetings.

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