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Related Jokes

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Donald Trump was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word “tragedy”. So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a “tragedy”.

One little boy stood up and offered: “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs ove...

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they say penis size is related to shoe size...

that makes the fear of clowns even worse.

**Edit** Ten hours in, this is my highest rated post ever! happy I found a place where im appreciated. ill come back with more material! :D

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My buddy said to me yesterday, "If I shagged your wife, would that make us related"?

I said "No man, that would just make us even."

Do you know what you call your parents if they were related?

Incestors.

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Can I take a skin graft from my butt and put it on someone who isn't related?

ass skin for a friend

At last, a herb related joke

It's about thyme

I saw a math-related T-shirt today

It said f(x) = |X|

AVOID NEGATIVITY

That’s ABSOLUTEly the silliest joke I ever saw.

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Ended up at the ER on date night with one of those notorious Viagra related injuries

Everything was going great, so I popped a viagra. I got this intense erection so We got naked and went chasing each other around the house.

Well, as I was chasing her to the hot tub, I ran smack into the glass door and broke my nose.

An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

I love "technically true" jokes, like:

If everybody in the world held hands around the equator, most of them would drown.

Or

Did you know that after all these years, the swimming pool on Titanic is still filled with water?

Or

There are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the sky.

What else ...

I don't get computer-related jokes.

..not even a bit.

What happened after the U.S. imposed the death penalty for banking-related crypto fraud?

Bank-Man fried!

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How are peanut butter and jelly related?

They're inbred

Anything not related to elephants

is irrelephant.

Scientists have demonstrated that nerves spread throughout the body are related to human personality.

For example, if a subjects arms are removed, that subject becomes much less likely to volunteer for science tests.

Some girls at my gym were saying I was related to Bruce Lee.

I had to politely let them know I wasn’t, and my name isn’t Ugg, either.

What is big, long, red, spews a liquid from an opening, generates a lot of excitement among people, adults get to have a big one and children get to have a smaller one, makes people wet and is usually associated with "hot", and is related to/contains words that begin with F and end with U,C,K?

A firetruck :D

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Feet and penis size are not related

Trust me, my feet are huge

A man in my town was shot yesterday with a starter’s pistol.

Police suspect that the crime is race related.

At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me

On a related note, I suck at darts

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New COVID19-Related Service

I am thinking about offering a new service in my city to help with the whole COVID19 thing.

Basically, if you're someone who is hoarding toilet paper, you send me your name and address and I come to your house and fucking beat the shit out of you. Now you no longer need that toilet paper, so...

If you like pee related puns...

then *urine* for a treat.

Clothing related typos...

They're the vest

I couldn't join the KKK if I wanted to, my bloodline isn't pure enough.

Turns out my parents weren't even related.

Police related jokes aren’t funny

So give it arrest

Some musician related jokes

Why can't a clarinet player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start talking dirty, his voice cracks.

Why can't a French horn player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start making out, his hand goes to the wrong place.

What do you call a euphonium player who isn't part of a military band?...

All of my jokes are anti-vaxer related

They all die in new

Buy all the 9/11 related domains

Is apparently the wrong answer to “What would you do with a time machine?”

My wife had asked me to stop using police related puns..

I guess I’ll give them “ arrest”.

My wife said she would divorce me if I didn't stop my cheese related puns.

It's no fondue be married to such a Munster anyways.

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Can I donate a graft of tissue from my buttocks to another person I'm not related to?

Ass skin for a friend.

(For people in health related occupations) Knock, Knock.

Who’s there?

HIPAA

HIPAA who?

I can’t tell you.

Did you hear about the guy who was shot with a starter pistol?

Police think it is race-related

What do you call blood-related jedi?

Force kin.

The movie Titanic turns 25 later this year.

In related news, Leonardo DiCaprio said he is no longer interested in seeing it.

Alabama leads nation in fewest covid related deaths.

They have been marking uncles, fathers, and brothers as the same person when they die.

What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other?

The family tree.

What do you call an orgy where everyone is related?

A family affair

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If you have sex with someone you're not related to...

You're called a clitourist. If it's someone you're related to then you're a clitizen.

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol.

Police think it might be race related.

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First corona-related death in my neighborhood just happened

Bitch shouldn't have taken the last pack of toilet paper.

My wife and I are having a competition to see who can steal the most dog related stuff from our local pet shop.

I've just taken the lead.

How are Princess Diana, Dale Earnhardt, and Pink Floyd related?

Their last greatest hit was The Wall.

What did the cow say when she related to something?

Nothing, she just mood.

Old Train-Related Joke

There was once a grouchy old man that worked on a train. When he had time to take a break from his routine, he would walk through the passenger carts to check up on the passengers. Once, there were two kids causing a commotion so he threw them both out of the moving train and critically injured them...

In need of an eye-related joke.

I'm about to be doing a presentation for a bunch of 5th graders. The subject is eyes, and I'm wanting to end it with some kind of eye-related joke as they're walking away. It needs to make sense in context and be appropriate. Anyone have any ideas?

Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.

Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.

Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He’s sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.

Einstein says “Newton, you’re terrible, I’ve f...

TIL: I am related to Stevie Wonder

I also learnt he has been telling people he has never seen me before.

My favorite music-related limerick

A tutor who taught on the flute,

tried to teach two young tooters to toot.

Said the two to the tutor,

"Is it harder to toot or,

to tutor two tooters to toot?"

I'm a Sikh and really tired of hearing "sikh" puns on any post related to Sikhs

I'm sikh of this joke.

In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...

Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).



Both were denied.

This is actually true.

It's my birthday, so here's a related joke.

Why are birthdays good for you?

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Statistics show: those who have the most, live the longest.

My friend entered a poetry related pun contest.

He stanza good chance.

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The theory of evolution states that all species are related to a common ancestor

So no officer I dont think its "disgusting" that I'm dating a raccoon

A brief rise in the suicide is related to the Covid pandemic

Murderers are working from home.

Who handles font related crimes?

A sans sheriff!

Shrapnel related jokes please?

My dad just took a piece of metal to his chest and it is imbedded in his skin. We have thought of all jokes possible relevant to the situation. He has a good sense of humor. We need more jokes. Please help me reddit!

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