The 33+ Best Related Jokes

What happened after the U.S. imposed the death penalty for banking-related crypto fraud?

Bank-Man fried!

Scientists have demonstrated that nerves spread throughout the body are related to human personality.

For example, if a subjects arms are removed, that subject becomes much less likely to volunteer for science tests.

I saw a math-related T-shirt today

It said f(x) = |X|

AVOID NEGATIVITY

That’s ABSOLUTEly the silliest joke I ever saw.

A man in my town was shot yesterday with a starter’s pistol.

Police suspect that the crime is race related.

This is a discussion about the safety of 4-wheelers/ATVs.

I'm sick and tired of hearing about the deaths and serious injuries related to these vehicles. In fact, if you plot those terrible outcomes against speed and operator inexperience, you can see that those events are clustered in the top right corner of the graph.

In other words, this is a ...

What is big, long, red, spews a liquid from an opening, generates a lot of excitement among people, adults get to have a big one and children get to have a smaller one, makes people wet and is usually associated with "hot", and is related to/contains words that begin with F and end with U,C,K?

A firetruck :D

Some girls at my gym were saying I was related to Bruce Lee.

I had to politely let them know I wasn’t, and my name isn’t Ugg, either.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can I take a skin graft from my butt and put it on someone who isn't related?

ass skin for a friend

And the Oscar Award for best special effects (Which is related to stuff that simulates things that are fictional/do not exist) goes to...

An honest politician.

The movie Titanic turns 25 later this year.

In related news, Leonardo DiCaprio said he is no longer interested in seeing it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word “tragedy”. So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a “tragedy”.

One little boy stood up and offered: “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs ove...

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What does a dog do that a man steps in?

Pants. What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

I’m looking for a third joke with a punchline that appears to be, but isn’t, feces related. Please help me finish my pseudo-poop dad joke trifecta.

My wife and I are having a competition to see who can steal the most dog related stuff from our local pet shop.

I've just taken the lead.

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When he was a little boy, Jonny loved tractors.

His wallpapers? Tractors. His toys? Just tractors? His clothing? All tractor-themed. Until one day, he was given the chance to ride in the cockpit of a tractor on his 6th birthday. He was sadly nearly crushed by the tractors wheels when he fell out of the cab, and the experience so traumatised him, ...

My wife said she would divorce me if I didn't stop my cheese related puns.

It's no fondue be married to such a Munster anyways.

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I was watching a show about Ancient Egypt, and they mentioned that there were Seven Sacred Oils that they used to anoint the dead with.

I thought that sounded interesting, so I decided to Google "Seven Sacred Oils of Egypt" and the entire front page of results is about where I can buy the essential oils the Egyptians used, you know mlm shit.

I cannot stress enough how this is not what I was looking for, but in hindsight I p...

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Can I donate a graft of tissue from my buttocks to another person I'm not related to?

Ass skin for a friend.

An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...

Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).

Both were denied.

This is actually true.

My wife had asked me to stop using police related puns..

I guess I’ll give them “ arrest”.

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Feet and penis size are not related

Trust me, my feet are huge

Tractor joke incoming!

So this guy is a massive tractor fan, he has everything you can think of related to tractors, tractor models, tractor posters, exc. Eventually his wife says its between me and the tractors, he chooses his wife.

One day walking down the road there is a house fire that is mostly put out but has...

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Three Irish men in a pub called says, "Are you all related?" Mick said, "Yeah we're triplets". Barman says, "Triplets, how Come you & Pat are six foot tall & Tat is only four foot tall?"

"Well", said Mick, "Me & Pat
were breast fed, so there was no tit for tat".

Anything not related to elephants

is irrelephant.

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My buddy said to me yesterday, "If I shagged your wife, would that make us related"?

I said "No man, that would just make us even."

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A couples therapist believes the amount of sex you have is directly related to happiness, so he decides to test his theory at his next seminar.

He addresses the crowd in attendance and asks "How many couples here tonight have sex once a day?"

To the therapists delight, about half of the crowd raise their hands with wide, toothy grins across their faces.

The therapist then asks "How many have sex once a week?"

Roughly a ...

All of my jokes are anti-vaxer related

They all die in new

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There once was a man who loved tractors

I mean he absolutely LOVED them. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). The only thing that even came close to his love for tractors, was the love he felt for his wife. His high sch...

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Three people want to get into heaven

St Nicholas is the gatekeeper.

He says they must give him something related to Christmas to get in.

The first person reaches into his pockets and pulls out a leaf

St Nick looks confused, and says “How does this relate to Christmas?”

She replied “Mistletoe”, St N...

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they say penis size is related to shoe size...

that makes the fear of clowns even worse.

**Edit** Ten hours in, this is my highest rated post ever! happy I found a place where im appreciated. ill come back with more material! :D

Buy all the 9/11 related domains

Is apparently the wrong answer to “What would you do with a time machine?”

(For people in health related occupations) Knock, Knock.

Who’s there?

HIPAA

HIPAA who?

I can’t tell you.

If you like pee related puns...

then *urine* for a treat.

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