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Can I take a skin graft from my butt and put it on someone who isn't related?

ass skin for a friend

What is big, long, red, spews a liquid from an opening, generates a lot of excitement among people, adults get to have a big one and children get to have a smaller one, makes people wet and is usually associated with "hot", and is related to/contains words that begin with F and end with U,C,K?

A firetruck :D

Scott Morrison was visiting a Sydney primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked Mr Morrison if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'.

So our illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy'

A little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing' in the field and a tractor runs o...

Anything not related to elephants

is irrelephant.

In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...

Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).



Both were denied.

This is actually true.

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Can I donate a graft of tissue from my buttocks to another person I'm not related to?

Ass skin for a friend.

My wife had asked me to stop using police related puns..

I guess I’ll give them “ arrest”.

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Three Irish men in a pub called says, "Are you all related?" Mick said, "Yeah we're triplets". Barman says, "Triplets, how Come you & Pat are six foot tall & Tat is only four foot tall?"

"Well", said Mick, "Me & Pat
were breast fed, so there was no tit for tat".

Buy all the 9/11 related domains

Is apparently the wrong answer to “What would you do with a time machine?”

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Feet and penis size are not related

Trust me, my feet are huge

Which word has 6 letters, starts with an N and ends with an R and is related to a Race

NASCAR

All of my jokes are anti-vaxer related

They all die in new

An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

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A couples therapist believes the amount of sex you have is directly related to happiness, so he decides to test his theory at his next seminar.

He addresses the crowd in attendance and asks "How many couples here tonight have sex once a day?"

To the therapists delight, about half of the crowd raise their hands with wide, toothy grins across their faces.

The therapist then asks "How many have sex once a week?"

Roughly a ...

UK police today arrested a man for shooting a starting pistol at someone.

They are treating the offence as race related.

Just looked into my family tree and found out both great great grand parents are related...

It's not every day you get to learn about your incestors

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A prostitute went to her psychologist because of work-related burnout.

I guess you could say she's had it coming.

Today, after a quick search, I realized that I'm actually related to a lot of people on Reddit.

Either that, or it turns out that there are just an awful lot of nice grandpas who sucked at building cabinets.

Alabama leads nation in fewest covid related deaths.

They have been marking uncles, fathers, and brothers as the same person when they die.

I’m seeing a lot of heaven related jokes, so here’s a bad one to lower every bodies expectations-

What do angles fish for in heaven?
Holy mackerels

What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other?

The family tree.

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The theory of evolution states that all species are related to a common ancestor

So no officer I dont think its "disgusting" that I'm dating a raccoon

A man was dumping toxic waste into a river.

Suddenly, the sky darkened, lightning flashed, and a glowing woman appeared, hovering above the river.

**"For your crimes, I curse you to only speak in words related to water!",** she intoned, and then vanished in another flash of lightning.

The man stood, shocked, before gathering his...

I was dating a girl claiming to be related to King Louis the XVI and got mad

after I declared "so no head?"
Immediately she begins storming off

(For people in health related occupations) Knock, Knock.

Who’s there?

HIPAA

HIPAA who?

I can’t tell you.

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If you have sex with someone you're not related to...

You're called a clitourist. If it's someone you're related to then you're a clitizen.

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My buddy jokingly asked me, "If I shagged your wife, would that make us related?"

I said, "No man, that would just make us even."

Ah.. chemistry!

My roommate bursts into our apartment, totally stressed out from her chemistry finals.

Her: If anyone even says one more word related to Chemistry, I'm going to scream!

Me: K

Her: (goes bananas…) ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

Q: How many group members does it take to change a light bulb ?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the...

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A tractor joke

There once was a man who loved tractors, I mean he absolutely LOVED them. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). The only thing that even came close to his love for tractors, was th...

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New COVID19-Related Service

I am thinking about offering a new service in my city to help with the whole COVID19 thing.

Basically, if you're someone who is hoarding toilet paper, you send me your name and address and I come to your house and fucking beat the shit out of you. Now you no longer need that toilet paper, so...

What do you call an orgy where everyone is related?

A family affair

If you like pee related puns...

then *urine* for a treat.

I'm a Sikh and really tired of hearing "sikh" puns on any post related to Sikhs

I'm sikh of this joke.

What did the cow say when she related to something?

Nothing, she just mood.

Fishing Buddies

A Kiwi and an Aussie went fishing one afternoon and decided to have a couple of cold beers.

After a while the Aussie says to the Kiwi, "If I was to sneak over to your house and made wild passionate love to your wife while you were at work, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make...

At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me

. On a related note...…………………. I suck at darts.

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First corona-related death in my neighborhood just happened

Bitch shouldn't have taken the last pack of toilet paper.

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I was just wondering how different professions have given us words and phrases that mean sex, sexual positions or related to sex

Carpenter or other handy man - screw, bang, pound, nail, lay, grease, hose, pile, hammer, pipe

Sportsmen - score, hit, home run, game, ball, balls deep, knock it out

zookeeper or animal lover - hump, bone, beast, doggy style, monkey love, ram, raw dog

singers and other musical -...

A brief rise in the suicide is related to the Covid pandemic

Murderers are working from home.

If what they say about the size of a man’s package being related to his shoe size is true...

No wonder everybody’s looking for Bigfoot.

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Cakepilation

For my cake day I'm going to repost everything I can think of that fits into the category of cake-related jokes! You've heard them all anyway, who cares?



What did the cake say to the fork? You wanna piece of me?

What do you eat if you 3.142 cakes? You get fat. Pay attention, ...

Mr. Chair is in distress after Mrs Chair went under surgery, even after it went successful, with no incidents whatsoever.

So one of his friends asks Mr Chair what happened. And he answered: "I've been married to my wonderful and lovely Mrs Chair for fifteen years, and now this doctor comes with a stupid smile on his face and tells me she's table!"

-

Obligatory: English is not my native tongue, so sorry f...

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they say penis size is related to shoe size...

that makes the fear of clowns even worse.

**Edit** Ten hours in, this is my highest rated post ever! happy I found a place where im appreciated. ill come back with more material! :D

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