Face Mask Jokes

I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"


She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."

No big supplies there.

After all, I wear pants...

So I turn in inside out every day

It's so I won't look like a right tit.

Since my wife found them in the glove box.

CDC studies have shown they provide no defense

She clearly isn’t a fan of protection

Do you put the condom when you're alone in bed?

Turns out it's one of those WiN95 masks.

otherwise you will end up looking like a right tit.

Let's give them all a moment of silence.

Not too bad being a 5/10

..
..
Take it out of the plastic bag first. I haven't felt like I was suffocating since I learned this.

Nothing flashy but it fits the bill

I assume

A police officer comes and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm holding up this bank," the man says.

"Very funny. Now move along."

The man walks away, and the bank falls down.

we don't have to see your ugly face anymore.

But I wear a full-face mask in the bank and suddenly I’m “dangerous” and “a criminal”?

The Hypocrisy!

Back in college...

I'll never forget back when I was in college. There was this guy.. he had a long Scandinavian name, none of us could pronounce it, so we just called him Oe. Anyway, Oe and I were in fencing class together, we thought it would be an easy A.

Now Oe, he was a big guy, ... read more

She wears a face mask on a zoom meeting

"I see dead people."

Zorro goes to a bar only wearing his face mask. He asks the bartender for a drink and then asks him if he knows who he is. The bartender replies that he has never seen him before. Zorro gets mad, puts on his black hat and his black cape and asks the bartender one more time if he knows who he is. The... read more

The optician said I don't need glasses as I have 2020 vision!

Because they make mouth breathers smell their own breath

Walmart started requiring her to wear a face mask 10 years before they even heard of coronavirus.

Whatever the Republican Party tells me too say.”

Having to wear a face mask along with your glasses?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Call us today!

Setting: Our hero, tied to a chair in a laboratory.
Evil torturer: "So you won't talk, eh?"
Our hero: "You will never make me talk."
ET: "Even if I force you to wear this?" (Whips around. Our hero sees he has a face mask in his hand.)
OH: "No not that! Anything but that. I will tell all.... read more

The GLOBALISTS and ILLUMINATI have placed facial recognition cameras EVERYWHERE to track you. The only way to stop their plan is to wear a face mask while out in public.

Pass it on!

In the year 2020, the pandemic gave to me:
12 Cancelled Plans
11 Face Masks
10 Sanitizers
9 Murder Hornets
8 Zoom Calls
7 Mental Breakdowns
6 Feet Apart
5 Curbside Pickups
4 Quarantines
3 Travel Restrictions
2 Karens Complaining
And a massive shortage of Grocery S... read more

Now they can go back to monitoring Redditor accounts for "Thai, boys, deep, hole, wet, rubber face mask and sedatives" without all those pesky false positives.

where else can you be guaranteed that they won't run out of face masks?

Man with beard today: " I found a great face mask that's gluten and cruelty free."

Where you get a penalty for not face masking.

Just remember that someone out there provides Donald Trump with face masks.