Why did Child Protective Services take Dora the Explorer away from her parents?
Because they allowed her to go off on her own with a known MAP.
If skunks didn't have their protective smell...
They would go ex-stinked.
Due to lack of protective measures during the pandemic, retail cashiers and bank tellers are refusing to go to work
It's a counter strike
In the middle of the night, my neighbor stole the entire protective barrier that surrounds my property. He asked if I was mad...
Needless to say, a fence was taken.
An old protective father and his daughters who want dates
Jeremiah is your typical protective farmer and father. He has three daughters, all who’d like to date men but he has never allowed it. Now that they’re all above 18, he decides it’s time to allow them to go on their first dates.
As he sits on his porch, waiting, shotgun in hand around 7:00 PM...
We were having so much bad luck on our cul-de-sac that the HOA thought we had been cursed. They brought in a witch doctor and druid to scribe protective symbols and runes all over the road...
...well, that's the ward on the street anyway.
A father and his son are visited by the Child Protective Services. The agent asks the son, "Do you know why we are visiting you today?" The son thought a bit and replied:
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
There's an old farmer with 3 beautiful daughters. He is very protective of them and meets every potential suitor at the front door, with a loaded shotgun in his hands.
Sure enough, come Saturday evening there's a knock at the door. The farmer jumps up, throws open the door and points his shotgun at the young man.
The fellow is a little startled, but manages to say "Hi, my name is Joe. I'm here for Flo. I'm here to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?"...
I realised at the last minute that i forgot my protective goggles at the nuclear test facility this morning. My line manager saved my vision and shielded me from the intense light!
He's my super visor
Today I found out that the electrician didn't connect the protective grounding system at my home.
I was shocked.
Two men are walking their dogs (a doberman and a chihuahua) when they see a restaurant.
They're pretty hungry, do they decide to head in for a bite to eat. Unfortunately, they see a sign out front that says "NO DOGS ALLOWED".
The man with the doberman says "I know what to do, just follow my lead." He throws on a pair of sunglasses and walks in.
The waiter tells him "I'm s...
A teenage girl is about to go on her first date and asks her mother, "Do I look pretty?"
Her mother says, "I can't answer that, honey."
"Why not?" asks her daughter. "I've spent an hour getting ready and I really want an opinion about how I look."
Her mother says, "What's important is how you feel."
"Mom!" says the girl, "This is important to me! I'm feeling very se...
Two scientist were exploring Chernobyl years after the incident.
They were shocked to find a man still living in the area seemingly unaffected by the radiation. They ask the man if he would return with them to conduct some tests to which he agreed.
They explained that as the man was probably highly irradiated, he would have to put on some protective clothi...
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An innocent young woman is sitting with her mother before going to spend the night with her boyfriend.
She is nervous about what's going to happen because the man is her first boyfriend and the first time she'll ever spend a night away from home.
Her overly protective mother looks meaningfully into her daughter's eyes and said, "Honey, when you go to bed tonight, your boyfriend is going to wan...
I don't have a beer gut.
I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs
How can you tell a Protestant couch from a Catholic couch at a glance?
The Protestant will have a protective cover; the Catholic is always a pull-out.
They put a protective casing over the Vietnam Wall.
They're calling it the Maya Lin sheath.