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Masks Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Call me Trumper if you must, but I've got proof masks don't do shit.

Last Thursday my wife went on a business trip and they made her wear a mask the whole time - but she got chlamydia anyway!

In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point."

We didn't have those fancy hazmat suits you all wear today

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do people refuse to wear masks?

Because they can't stand the smell of the shit that comes out of their mouth.

Without a mask on, I shopped at a store that had a strict mask policy.

Before leaving, I asked the security guard why he let me shop without a cover and he said that Halloween masks are acceptable too. :\_(

masks.

Have you noticed that a man with a beard wearing a mask looks a lot like a female 1970s underwear model?

Today I was in the bank when two men came in wearing masks...

Everyone felt a huge relief when they told us it's only a bank robbery.

What's the difference between the Taliban and Texas?

The Taliban requires women to wear masks

What do condoms and masks have in common?

Its safe to come inside if you're wearing them

They’re running out of face masks in China

No big supplies there.

Ever since masks became mandatory...

...I only drink *filtered* coffee.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I love how the ninja turtles wear masks

Great way to hide your identity, it's not like you're a giant fucking turtle or something

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Masks

I saw someone yesterday take off their mask to sneeze into the air and then put the mask back on.

That's like wearing a condom during sex and then taking it off just before you cum inside.

Masks are like bra.

If the strap slipped and it is not at place, people keep pointing out
and if you entirely forgot to wear one in public, people go on staring like hell.

Masks

There are a lot of people arguing about whether you should wear a mask or not wear a mask.

does that make them all Maskdebaters?

Why do stormtroopers always wear masks?

Because they keep missing their shots. #covid

Trump Masks!

When the pandemic started I seen an opportunity! I combined the upcoming need for mask with a large political base and mass produced 600,000 Trump Masks! I have not sold any though, what am I doing wrong?

After 6 months (or so) of listening to people talk with masks on

I finally understand what Charlie Browns teacher was saying

WARNING!! They said you only have to wear masks and gloves to go grocery shopping but they LIED!

Apparently you have to wear clothes too.

Why do vampires need masks?

They're always coffin

People not wanting to wearing masks is natural.

Natural selection.

God will protect me from COVID-19.

A good Christian man walked into Walmart and was offered a mask by the store greeter. The man politely declined saying God would protect him from Covid. Later the man went to his doctor for a routine check up. The doctor told him everything is fine and they also have all three different types of the...

Everyone is posting photos of people from the 1910's wearing masks to protect themselves from the Spanish flu to try and convince people to wear masks now...

Idiots. If masks work, then why are all those people in the pictures dead?

There are some loopholes with masks.

They go around your ears.

Why don’t Karens wear masks?

Because they are mouth-breathers.

When everyone on a train in Germany takes their masks off and suddenly the internet works properly, how does that work?

The train crossed the border to Denmark.

What do you call a parade where everyone wears masks?

A mask-arade

Dogs are getting stressed and confused because they’ve noticed their owners are now wearing masks

Cats are unaffected though as they’re yet to notice their owners at all

There were so many people at my house today without masks and social distancing, imagine the stench…

Lucky I haven’t been able to smell anything in the past few days…

I get why Karen’s hate wearing face masks

Because they make mouth breathers smell their own breath

I think after the pandemic ends I'm still gonna wear masks when I exercise.

It's a bit of a running gag.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIFU by trying to punish my son after finding bondage gear, fetish masks, and milf porn in his room

I really shoulda thought twice before spanking him

My wife and I went grocery shopping with our masks on

when we got home and took off our masks, I discovered I brought home the wrong wife. Stay alert people!

People with masks that don't cover their nose don't really bother me...

they're all mouth-breathers anyway.

Ever wondered why Ayo & Teo always wore masks?

They knew in advance that Coronavirus would come

Walmart has announced it will now require shoppers to wear masks in its stores.

However, pants will still be optional.

I don’t understand people who say they cannot wear masks because of their big nose

I wear my underwear everyday and don’t complain

Starbucks Reacts to Covid-19: Baristas to start wearing masks

Our as they call them, coughee filters.

I completely support people's choice to not wear masks and gather in large groups during a pandemic.

So would Darwin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bush, Trump, and Hillary are all on a plane during the pandemic...

Bush says, "I could throw this $100 mask out the window and make someone happy". Trump, with a smug look on his face replies, "I could throw ten $10 masks out the window and make 10 people happy". Hillary smirks and says, "Oh yeah, I could throw one hundred $1 masks out the window and make 100 peopl...

All the people who still need to debate the wearing of masks in public...

Are guilty of public mask-debation.

I can’t believe some people are really making masks a debate.

Stupid mask debaters

I think it's a bit harsh to criticise Trump for trying to ban the export of masks

He's just following medical advice and trying to keep 3M away from everyone else

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are people cutting bras in half to make face masks now

Some of them look like right tits.

The CDC is now recommending wearing TWO masks as a way to get a better seal around your nose and mouth.

It's also a good statistical approach to get the average American to wear ONE mask. (Sorry, that was a mean joke.)

I was at the crowded post office, when two people with masks entered

There was a total panic.

Then they shouted "This is a robbery" and we all calmed down.

Despite CDC guidelines, there's no reason to worry about people not covering their noses with their masks.

They're mouth-breathers anyway.

All the Asians who’ve been wearing face masks are laughing now

I assume

Recently, a beauty company added rice as an ingredient for their beauty masks.

The reason being is that when the mask is done, it’s easier to Pilaf.

John didn't wear the mask

**The dialog about John who didn't wear mask and regretted it and his friend**



\- John, put on your mask!

*- No! It's harmful.*

\- John put it on, what are you doing?

*- I ignore the masks*

\- John! Get out of here and don't ever come to a Halloween party l...

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