What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A hooker can wash her crack and use it again.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I woke up at the crack of Dawn yesterday

Told her to get her ass out of my face and get dressed.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Wanted to crack an ass joke

Butt fuck it

My friends say that my sudden urges to crack open a cold one is becoming a problem.

I just don't see the issue with necrophilia.

This is now the longest government shut down in US History. In lighter news, if seeing who will crack first on the border wall is prolonging it, then this shut down truly is...

a Mexican stand off.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If you sniff coke off of someone's butt

...is it called crack cocaine?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I'm an ass man. Addicted to ass.

It's like crack to me.

My coworker asked me if I wanted to crack open a cold one after work.

And that’s how I learned he was a necrophiliac.

Crack flavoured pringles

once you pop, you really can’t stop

Apparently the former limbo world champion is now a homeless crack addict...

Just makes you think, how low can you go?

Can I tell you an egg joke? Its gonna “crack” you up!

Sorry I got so eggcited I forgot what the yolk was.

I woke up at the crack of dawn...

So I told her to get off my head and let me get some sleep.

Cant beat the classics.

I’ve only smoked crack once...

For 5 years!!!

Our crack team of experts has done the research

They need more crack.

If a crack forms in your yard

Is it your fault?

A manager cracks a joke. Everyone in the team laughs except one guy.

"Didn't you understand?" the manager asks.

The guy replies : "I resigned yesterday."

What's 7 inches long and hasn't been sucked in over 2 years?

Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

How do you crack a joke on r/Jokes?

ctrl+v.

What time of day stinks?

The crack of dawn

Always cracks me up when I hear this one.

Professional Overwatch.

An American, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don't belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: "I will strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I'll let you go. You can use anything you want as a shield".

The American goes first. He builds a high-tech shield from depleted uranium and composites, and hides behind it. The Devil strikes once - the shield cracks; twice - the shield falls apart; thrice - the American is no more.

Next goes the Indian. He puts himself in some advanced Yoga position ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call a crack house that sells breast implants?

A booby trap.

A guy buys the new Iphone 8 , He puts it in his back pocket when he hears a crack

I hope that was my spine he said.

I've been a crack addict for 10 years

I just can't afford video games

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I can't believe...!

Person 1: I can't believe after all that shit they're back together!!!
Person 2: Who?!
Person 1: My ass cheeks.

I've used this many times in person, and it still cracks me up to this day lol

I started making love at the crack of Dawn

And I finished on her face

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A businessman is getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knows his wife is always horny, so he decides to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn’t much like the idea of her screwing someone else.

So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If you were camping and woke up in the morning with vaseline between your thighs and butt crack would you tell anyone?

No? Wanna go camping?

I live in a house between a crack den and a brothel.

I guess you could say i'm between a rock and a hard place.

I heard the military is assembling a crack squad made up of all T-Rexes

Makes sense - I hear T-Rexes are small arms experts!

A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.

Student, "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"

Professor, "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, would I?"

Student, "OK. So I'd like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my marks as it is. If you ...

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender,

"If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. ...

"Alright man let's crack open a few cold ones, it's going to be a fun night"

Said one necrophiliac to another as they walked into the morgue

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Oprah Winfrey was busted by TSA at O'Hare airport today with 40 pounds of crack.

They let her go because it just turned out to be her vagina.

Kinda corny but it did actually crack me up...

Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?
A. Banned from the Zoo.

How many Chicago Policemen does it take to crack an egg?

None. It fell down the stairs.

Whistleblower reveals that the government is concealing cracks in Hoover Dam.

FBI is still looking for the leak.

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A rabbit is hopping through the woods. Hop, hop, hop, when he comes upon a giraffe. Now, this giraffe is about to smoke some weed. The rabbit looks up at the giraffe and say, "Giraffe, don't smoke weed. Weed is a drug and drugs are bad, come running with me through the forest."

The giraffe looks at the weed, then looks at the rabbit, then back at the weed. The giraffe tossed his blunt aside and they go running through the forest together. Run, run, run. Hop, hop, hopping along.

Soon they come to a clearing with a sheep. This sheep is about to shoot up heroin. The ra...