What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A hooker can wash her crack and use it again.

What is a crack head's favorite song?

I wanna rock!

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it was stuck in a crack

Have you heard about the pothead who tried crack for the first time?

He thought it was dope!

This is now the longest government shut down in US History. In lighter news, if seeing who will crack first on the border wall is prolonging it, then this shut down truly is...

a Mexican stand off.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the differnce between crack dealers and prostitutes?

The prostitutes can atleast clean their crack.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I woke up at the crack of Dawn yesterday

Told her to get her ass out of my face and get dressed.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I'm an ass man. Addicted to ass.

It's like crack to me.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Wanted to crack an ass joke

Butt fuck it

My friends say that my sudden urges to crack open a cold one is becoming a problem.

I just don't see the issue with necrophilia.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If you sniff coke off of someone's butt

...is it called crack cocaine?

My coworker asked me if I wanted to crack open a cold one after work.

And that’s how I learned he was a necrophiliac.

Apparently the former limbo world champion is now a homeless crack addict...

Just makes you think, how low can you go?

Can I tell you an egg joke? Its gonna “crack” you up!

Sorry I got so eggcited I forgot what the yolk was.

Crack flavoured pringles

once you pop, you really can’t stop

Our crack team of experts has done the research

They need more crack.

I woke up at the crack of dawn...

So I told her to get off my head and let me get some sleep.

Cant beat the classics.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three men go to hell and they’re pissed

“Surely we weren’t that bad?” they ask themselves. “There has to be something we can do to get out of here.”

Satan suddenly appears and says “Oh, but there is! Withstand ten whippings from my trusty whip here and you’re free to go. I’ll even let you pick something to cover your back with”
...

If a crack forms in your yard

Is it your fault?

I’ve only smoked crack once...

For 5 years!!!

A German taught me how to crack eggs today.

It was ei-opening.

A manager cracks a joke. Everyone in the team laughs except one guy.

"Didn't you understand?" the manager asks.

The guy replies : "I resigned yesterday."

What's 7 inches long and hasn't been sucked in over 2 years?

Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I was working on sealing a leak in a crack in my foundation when a friend told me I should look for one at the sex shop...

...At first I was skeptical but I gave it a try and I must say, I was quite disappointed because it was everything but plugs.

My son was mad at me today, and said "I wish my dad was dead!"

My son was mad at me today, and said "I wish my dad was dead!" The sky went dark and there was a loud crack of thunder that freaked me out. But then nothing happened, so we went home.

My wife was home, and she was very upset. Her personal trainer had been killed by lightning.

Always cracks me up when I hear this one.

Professional Overwatch.

How do you crack a joke on r/Jokes?

ctrl+v.

So a man walks into a bar..

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?"

The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches,...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call a crack house that sells breast implants?

A booby trap.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I can't believe...!

Person 1: I can't believe after all that shit they're back together!!!
Person 2: Who?!
Person 1: My ass cheeks.

I've used this many times in person, and it still cracks me up to this day lol

A guy buys the new Iphone 8 , He puts it in his back pocket when he hears a crack

I hope that was my spine he said.

An American, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don't belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: "I will strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I'll let you go. You can use anything you want as a shield".

The American goes first. He builds a high-tech shield from depleted uranium and composites, and hides behind it. The Devil strikes once - the shield cracks; twice - the shield falls apart; thrice - the American is no more.

Next goes the Indian. He puts himself in some advanced Yoga position ...

Jack, a renown atheist, dies...

... and to his utter surprise ends up in hell where he's greeted by Satan himself.

Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: "Welp, I've been wrong all my life and I guess I'm now to pay the price for my lack of faith"

Satan laughs and replies: "Awh it's not so bad down here, ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If you were camping and woke up in the morning with vaseline between your thighs and butt crack would you tell anyone?

No? Wanna go camping?

I live in a house between a crack den and a brothel.

I guess you could say i'm between a rock and a hard place.

I heard the military is assembling a crack squad made up of all T-Rexes

Makes sense - I hear T-Rexes are small arms experts!

Whistleblower reveals that the government is concealing cracks in Hoover Dam.

FBI is still looking for the leak.

How many Chicago Policemen does it take to crack an egg?

None. It fell down the stairs.

Kinda corny but it did actually crack me up...

Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?
A. Banned from the Zoo.

"Alright man let's crack open a few cold ones, it's going to be a fun night"

Said one necrophiliac to another as they walked into the morgue

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