What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?

A drama dairy.




\[My brother answered "A male one", which might be funnier.\]

A farmer accidentally overcooked his, one of a kind, psychic cow

He now has a rare medium well done

My 6yo told me a dad joke: What kind of key has no lock?

A turkey.

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How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two.

One to change the bulb, and one to hold the penis.


Edit: *Father


Edit: * LADDER!!!! Dammit.

'What kind of work do you do?' a woman passenger enquired of the man travelling in her train compartment. 'I'm a Naval surgeon,' he replies.

My word!' spluttered the woman, 'How you doctors specialise these days.'

What kind of fish is made of only two Sodium atoms?

2 Na

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A dog and a rabbit are in a bar having a few drinks when a drunk decides that he doesn't like their kind patronizing his establishment.

He goes over and voices his displeasure with them being in HIS bar.
Now now take it easy slim, says the rabbit ,if you can solve this riddle we will buy you all the drinks you can have for the night. Well he thinks about it for a minute and thinks, why not. Ok then but if you get it wrong my dog...

What kind of whisky does a bunny drink?

Hop Scotch.

Doc: I have bad news about your test results

Doc: I have bad news about your test results

Me: oh man did I fail

Doc: not that kind of test

Me: so I passed?

Doc: no but you will in a week

What kind of fruit can you have two of, but never have one of?

A pear.

Why are people in I.T. the worst kind of social justice warriors?

They are always asking you to check your privilege.

There are two kinds of people in the world.

1. Those who need closure.

On what kind of tree do fingers grow on?

On a palm tree

missing

Temel goes to Germany as a worker in the 1960's. One day his supervisor Hans comes up to him and says "You Turks are a kind of people that only works for money. We Germans proudly work not for money but for our dignity." Temel says "Yes boss. Everyone works for whatever they are missing."
credit ...

A man was telling his neighbor...

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor . "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."

What kind of dough does a gamer use?

Nintedough!

A lawyer, an engineer and an accountant are applying for a job

at the job interview, they each get asked the same simple question, and are told to justify their answer. The question is, "what is two plus two?"

The lawyer takes out his briefcase and produces the 1978 docket wherein the case of Casey vs the State, two plus two was proven to be four.
...

I saw that police were looking for a gravedigging corpse stealer. The other day, I saw a man offering people inanimate bodies for free.

It was kind of a dead giveaway.

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A man walks into a bank and says to the the teller

“I want to open a fucking checking account.”

The astonished woman replies, “I beg your pardon, but we don’t tolerate language like that in this bank.”

The teller then leaves the window and walks over to her manager to explain the situation.

The manager agrees that the teller sh...

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Lawyer walk into a bar

the bartender looks up from his register and goes "what is this? some kind of joke?"

It's kind of stupid, we're trying to turn plants into burgers.

Haven't cows being doing that for like, forever.

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What kind of food ruins a woman’s sex drive?

Wedding cake

There are 10 kinds of people...

...those who can extrapolate from missing data and those who mesh and butcher well established jokes.

There was once a man named Chondria [OC]

There was once a man named Chondria in prison. Even though he was in prison, he was actually a very kind and generous man who had an accident due to his enormous strength. Because of this, he always helped his fellow inmates finish their various chores faster and better. One day, one inmate said to ...

In 1964, a couple of former St. Louis Cardinals baseball stars were on vacation in Wales....

Red Schoendienst and Stan Musial decided to head to the UK on vacation with their wives after the 1964 Major League Baseball season. The two had retired as players the year before and had just finished their first full season as members of the staff - Musial as vice president, Schoendienst as a coa...

A guy told me not to try cross dressing

He told me it was kind of a drag.

Wife cheats on her husband with the mailman

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope....

A poor farmer is being asked about his career by a fast talking interviewer

Interviewer: So, What kind of grain do you grow here? Are you getting by financially with such low production?

Farmer: Barley

I’ve decided I’m dressing in a costume for Christmas. I’m going to wear a fleece jacket, show off pictures of kids and carry a GPS navigation unit. I’m going as......

FLEECE NAVI-DAD

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Three men get lost in a forest and kidnapped by a cannibal tribe...

The chief tells them that since they don't seem to mean any harm, they must pass a test and if they do, he'll let them go free, he'll even point them in the direction of civilization. But if they cannot complete the test, they will be killed and served for dinner. First, he sends each of the men in ...

I didn’t like Despicable Me’s protagonist at first

But in the end, he kind of Gru on me.

What does a redditor say when someone is coughing at him in the bus?

"Thanks for the cold, kind stranger."

Frodo and Sam were sitting outside, observing an insect.

Neither of them were quite sure what kind of insect it was. "Is it a mosquito?", said Frodo, to which Sam replied "No Mister Frodo, I think it's some kind of bee?". They then saw Gandalf walking by, and they asked him whether he possibly knew what kind of insect it was. He looked at the insect for o...

What kind of horses only come out after dark?

Night Mares

No matter how kind you are...

German children are Kinder.

My favourite joke from my dad

A guy loves telling jokes about Scandinavians.

One day, his friend tells him, "You need to stop making jokes about Scandinavians. You're coming across as racist."

"Well, what kind of jokes should I tell instead?" asks the first guy.

"Tell jokes about generically ethnic people. T...

I came out of Asda earlier and there was a woman crying her eyes out. She’d lost all her holiday money that she’d been saving for months. I felt so sorry for her i gave her £50.

I don’t usually do that kind of thing but I’d just found £2000 in the car park.

A man is canoeing in the everglades

After spending the day exploring, things look differently then he remembers finding his way back, and realizes he’s lost.

To make matters worse, a large reptilian appears to be swimming under and around his boat as the sun is starting to drop.

At his wits end, he yells “goddammit im l...

What kind of fish did Jesus feed those 4000 people?

HOLY MACKEREL!

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When Lorena Bobbitt famously cut off her husbands wiener and drove across town with it, she decided to throw it out the car window and when she did it hit the windshield of the car behind her with 2 old ladies in it, the driver said “what kind of bug was that!?” and the passenger said,..

“I don’t know but did you see the dick on that thing?!”

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What’s the worst kind of sand to get in your butt?

Sandusky

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Old witch: “You won’t take the entry-level wizarding jobs that are available, you spend all your money on eye of newt and you think every little spell you cast deserves some kind of participation goblet.”

Ok Broomer.

What’s the difference between a religion and a cult?

In a cult, there is someone on top that knows it’s all nonsense.

In a religion that person is dead.

Dark comedy is like food

The best kinds use children as an ingredient.

What kind of dreams do hydro electricians have?

Wet dreams.

Shocking, isn't it?

There are 3 kinds of people

Those that can count and those that can’t

What kind of people do dyslexic zombies eat?

Brians

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

Moodoo

What kind of soup base does the Joker use?

Laughing stock

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Three marriage criteria

There was a woman, whose relationship is always a disaster.

Frustrated, she decided to put up a notice in search of one special partner. She specify three criteria. Any man who want her, must met all of the criteria.

However, her criteria seems ridiculous since there’s no one respond...

What kind of lizard would you find on this site?

A karma chameleon.

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous."

"Oh c'mon" says mathematician #...

My uncle always told me, "The real treasure, was inside of you the whole time".

As kind as that sounds, he sold organs to the black market for a living.

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