I booked a trip to visit the Cherokee in Oklahoma this summer, but having second thoughts...

I'm having a reservation reservation reservation.

I told my family I would cut my hair at the end of the pandemic, but I'm having second thoughts...

It's growing on me.

If you're having second thoughts about dinner plans on tribal lands... I guess you're having...

Reservations about reservations on the reservation.

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I’ve been thinking of getting a pickle bread enema, but I’m having second thoughts.

I’m not sure how I feel about putting a dill dough up my ass.

On second thought, maybe Communist America wouldn’t be such a bad idea...

We could all stand to lose a few pounds.

A Scotsman is walking down the street when he spots two guys fighting. Without a second thought, he marches over to them, splits them apart and says...

"Is this a private fight or can anyone join in?"

Why it's important to have second thoughts

Wait, never mind.

What is it called when you're having second thoughts about booking a room at a Native American casino?

A reservation reservation reservation.

I'm having second thoughts about booking time to visit an Indian community.

I guess I'm having reservation reservation reservations.

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I've had second thoughts about masturbation...

On one hand, it feels great. On the other hand, you don't feel a thing.

Misunderstood...

3 people (one is stuttering) decided to go on a fishing trip in a yacht.

They were in the sea for over 3 hours and were having a good time, when suddenly a ship was arriving at high speed with intetion of stoping.

The stutterer noticed it was trying to warn the others but was stuck...

From 2004-2015, Chelsea FC had the best goalkeeper in the world

On second thought, Petr Cech that one

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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..

She introduces hersel...

Trump visits an elementary school

Trump visits an elementary school to greet the students and teachers. He asks the students, “what do you all want to be when you grow up?”

“A farmer,” shouts one.

“An astronaut,” shouts another.

“The President of the United States,” confidently says a little girl.

“Who sa...

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Gingerbread house (long)

Me and my good friend John went camping one time, but after we left our campsite for a walk we got lost. After two weeks of walking around the forest, trying to find our way out, or at least something to eat, we stumble onto a little meadow with a gingerbread house in the middle.

As you can i...

An old billionaire marries a young woman.

He tells his wife that his only wish is to be buried with all of his wealth. The wife agreed without a second thought. Months went by and the man sadly passed away.

At the funeral, his wife walked up to the casket with an envelope in her hand. Solemnly, she placed the envelope in the casket w...

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position

as a sales representative for a large firm.

The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we’d hire you without a second thought. However, a sales...

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One day a man decides to join the US Marine corps.

During training, he just can't keep up, so the sergeant tells him to go home and wait until he's called upon as a reserve.

35 years go by and the man is still not called into action, so he decides to retire.

Out fishing one day, enjoying his retirement, a car flys past him out of contr...

A Man Bought a Book

One time, a young man goes in a very dark road as he went home and saw an elderly man sitting along the way. The elderly man is weird and suspicious-looking. The man called him, but the younger one ignored. The elderly man kept on calling him, so the young man got frightened, but he released all his...

An older man and a 16-year-old girl were alone in a room...

The man had initially agreed to the meeting, but he was having some serious second thoughts. He knew what they were planning to do was illegal, and could land him in some serious trouble.

Man: I don't know, I'm not sure if I should. I mean, your parents would kill me if they found out. I know...

Two Leprechauns Knock on the Convent Door (long)

The Mother Superior opens the door and the first leprechaun doffs his hat then stammers and stutters, "T-t-t-top o' the mornin' to ye, sister!"

She replies, "Top o' the mornin' to you, Seamus. What can I do for you this morning?"

"W-w-w-w-well, sister, I-I-I-I'd b-be after a-a-a-a-ski...

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scotsman are all eating soup at a restaurant

The Irishman notices a fly in his soup. He scoops out the fly, shrugs, and goes on eating without giving it a second thought.

The Englishman notices a fly in his soup. He turns up his nose disgustedly, and signals for the waiter to come take the soup away.

The Scotsman notices a fly in...

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A-a-another st-st-stutt...

A guy with a terrible stutter goes to the doctor. The doctor examines him, and says, "I\`m afraid the problem is your large penis. It requires such an enormous blood supply, not enough blood is reaching the speech center in your brain."

"W-w-well, what c-c-can I d-d-do?" asks the guy.

...

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The editor rejected my book, he said my metaphores are incomprehensible...

I'm sad as a coconut.



Due to popular demand, **EDIT**: metaphors*... Freakin' grammar nazis... On a second thought, maybe grammar also played a role in my rejection, who knows...

A politicain wanted to confirm that his son was really his son or had his wife been unfaithful.

He creates a setup. He places a $1000 bill, a glass of whiskey and a gun on a table. He then calls his son in. His son barges in "Hey Dad"

He shows his son the setup and tells him to choose.

The son without a second thought picks up the bill, puts it in his pocket. Without further ado,...

Two melons: A Love Story

One day two melons were laying next to each other in the sunny field. The same thing is also going on in an alternate universe. Tom Melon looks over and sees the most beautiful melon he’s ever laid his melon eyes upon. “I have to get over there and say something to her” he thinks to himself. So he r...

Peter sat at his dying wife's bedside. Her voice was little more than a whisper. "Pete darling," she breathed, "I've a confession to make before I go... I... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Alex.

And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the city. And I am the one who reported your income tax evasion to the government." "Don't give it a second thought, sweetheart. Who do you think gave you the poison?" answered Peter.

Peter is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye

It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought..

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 ...

Did you hear the one about toilet paper?

Second thoughts it's tearable

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Young naive couple

A young naïve newlywed couple from rural China decided to move to America to start a new life with nothing but big dreams and the love for each other. They arrived at their new home in rural Minnesota, and although they were happy and still in love, the first couple of months were difficult. They ...

My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke

Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that...

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The bravest (long joke)

Three generals and an admiral, one from each branch of the service, are standing around arguing which of their respective branch has the bravest members.

"Army is the bravest and I can prove it," says the first general. He looks around and spots a private. "Soldier, get over here!" The young ...

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says “uno, dos...”

But before he can finish his sentence, a gunshot rings through the air and he falls to the floor, blood oozing out of his head. Screams are everywhere as the audience seeks cover.

His best friend Nathaniel is in the audience, but all he can do is sit there in shock and stare at the corpse of ...

Knock knock

Who's there?

Ach.

Ach who?

On second thoughts I'm going to go knock somewhere else.

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A guy loses his right arm and he's considering to take his life

He walks by the subway station waiting for the moment when the train arrives to the station to make a leap of faith into the train rails.

When the train is about to arrive he sees a guy without both of his arms coming down from the stairs, dancing jumping and spinning around.

He appro...

Which is worse? Ignorance or apathy?

Ya know, on second thought, I don't know and I don't care.

A woman is on her way to church

Wearing a tight leather skirt, she realizes she can’t reach her leg up to the first step of her church’s shuttle bus. Reaching behind her, she pulls the zipper down a little bit then tries again.

She attempts to take a step up, can’t reach, and reaches behind her again to pull down the zippe...

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Superman is flying around metropolis one day, doing his normal surveillance.

He looks down and notices Wonder Woman, laying on the roof of her place, legs spread apart, completely naked.

The thought occurs to him; he's as fast as a speeding bullet, he could fly down there, do his thing, and get out before she suspected a thing.

Without a second thought he pull...

Not only bad at jokes, I’m also bad at titles

At the local butcher shop the was a challenge. The challenge was that if you could jump and touch on of the steaks on the ceiling, you would get twenty dollars. If you couldn’t, you would have to pay for one of the steaks. So a man named Jack came up to the challenge. As he was about to try he was s...

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Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven

At the gate, St Peter said they could come in - but as a reward for having led absolutely blameless lives, he would allow them all to return to Earth in the body of anyone, living or dead, at any time of their lives, for 6 months.

The first thought a bit, and said she would like to be Soph...

Wanna hear my joke about sodium?

On second thought, Na.

I was going to make a joke about incest to my brother...

But on second thought, it's really not appropriate for him to be hearing these kinds of things from his father.

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A little old woman walked into the bank...

A little old woman walked into the Bank.

She was carrying a large bag full of money. She insisted on speaking with the bank manager to open a savings account because, “It’s a lot of money.”

After a great deal of negotiating, the bank staff decided to humor her and finally ushered her ...

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Hitler' bodyguard was guarding his bedroom door.

A guy walks up to him and asks, "How do you like being Hitler's bodyguard?". The bodyguard replies, "It's okay, but I am starting to have second thoughts. The guy says, "Why is that?". The bodyguard responds, "Well all these time travelers from the future keep coming back to try to kill him".

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A man is eating dinner at a very nice restaurant with his Ostrich...

and as they finish up, the waitress brings him the bill. He owes exactly $84.38. The Ostrich takes a long drag from his cigarette, and without looking or hesitating the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly enough to pay the bill. The waitress was impressed but didn’t really give it a se...

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Returning from the men's room, a bar customer was shaking his head.

Returning from the men's room, a bar customer was shaking his head.


"What's the matter?" inquired the bartender.


"While I was in the bathroom back there, I noticed among the scribbling on the wall, and one that said: *WENDY GIVES REALLY FABULOUS HEAD - ABSOLUTELY THE GREATE...

A woman is lying in bed with her lover

"You should leave, my husband can come back home any minute now."
"Don't worry, whenever we hear the doorbell ring I will jump out of the window."
"Are you crazy? It's 11th floor."
"Everything is arranged. I asked my friends to stretch out and hold a big canvas for me to jump on." ...

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After an orchestra concert, the host asks if there are any musicians in the audience.

Many audience members raise their hands, and the host randomly selects three of them, and invites them on the stage for a quick quiz. The first one turns out to be a pianist, the second one is a singer, and the last one is a drummer.

The host says: "Let's have a quick quiz, shall we? Our pian...

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A man wants to join the CIA

He signs up for recruitment and a couple days later he gets accepted into the training program. The CIA begins to put him through a bunch of tests to see if he's truly qualified to be an agent. He goes to the shooting range, he swims and runs laps to show his endurance, and he trains in martial arts...

The Wedding Day

A man with a southern drawl and a French woman are at the altar when he starts having second thoughts. "Do you take this woman to be your wife" asks the minister. "Adieu" the man replies.

"Dad what is the name of that flower?"

"Well son, that's a rhododendron"

"How do you spell that?"

"On second thought, I think that's a rose"

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A girls sees a good looking guy at the bar...

as it had been a hard day, she decided to chat him up and take him home with her. "What are you drinking handsome?" she asks, in her sexiest voice. "Magic Beer to make me fly" he replies nonchalantly.
Some what taken aback, but not to be put off, she says "Ha, if it's magic beer then prove it". ...

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Two brothers travel across country.

Two brothers Jon and Dave from Newfoundland (Island off the east coast of Canada) decide to travel to Alberta to find work. The day they were ready to leave Dave began to have second thoughts.

Dave: “what’s wrong?”

Jon: “ I don’t think I can go, I’ll miss the ocean to much, get homesi...

An astronaut walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "what brings you in today?"

The astronaut says, "well, I didn't *planet.* It's just that my wife - don't get me wrong, she's my whole *universe,* - has left a great big *crater* in my heart. I was *over the moon* when she and I got married, but recently she's been saying s...

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A preacher in the Wild West, ...

... beloved by his congregation, was famous for never preaching about the same subject twice.

One day he says to his wife, "I've got an idea for my next sermon. I think I'll talk about horseback riding and how it helped America expand west of the Mississippi." His wife says, "If you do, I'm ...

A great joke that only air conditioners will get!

On second thought, I'm not gonna say it. I can already tell you're not a fan.

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A man calls his secretary...

A man calls his secretary, but the call goes to his boss instead. The man says “Hey! Get ur lazy ass up and bring me a damn coffee!” The boss, a firm believer in respect in the workplace, is outraged! She says “Listen here, sir! I am the manager of this company! Furthermore, I own this entire buildi...

3 men were stuck on a deserted island 10kms off shore.

The first informed the others “We’ve been here 3 days now, it’s time I swim back before it’s too late.”

He swam and swam but after 4kms his arms gave up, he couldn’t keep his head above water and drowned.

The second thought they were better than the first and also attempted to swim b...

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