A man was found electrocuted in a room with a car battery.

The battery was dead, so there were no charges.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bra, car battery and some jumper cables walk into a bar..

The car battery and jumper cables go find a seat while the bra asks the bartender for 3 beers. The bartender replies, "I'm not serving you! You're obviously off your tits and your two mates look like they're about to start something."

Just found two lumps on my car battery

Got them tested, one came back positive.
I hope it's not terminal.

My car battery died

I called AAA to come out and they diagnosed it and found out that it’s the original battery of 7 years and in need of replacement. So they swapped it out for me with one of their own.

Then it occurred to me that my car runs on a AAA battery.

A car battery and a box of fireworks were hanging out when they were arrested for loitering

The police charged the battery and let the fireworks off.

I got jumped by three black men downtown the other day...

They were quite polite the whole time they were jumping me. Even gave me directions to the nearest auto parts store so I could get a new car battery.

Three men are driving in the desert when their car breaks down.

The men decide that they must split up and survive on their own for the best chances. They are then forced to abandon the car. To be fair, they decide that they can each take one part of the car to help them.

The first man decides that he wants to take the car battery, he is an engineer and ...

A police officer caught two kids

playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.

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