A big storm pulled my entire back fence out of the ground, I need some help fixing it.

Anybody on this site have experience in reposting?

A cow with no legs is ground beef. A cow with 3 legs is lean beef. But what do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Your Mom

A cow crossing a street sees a glove in ground. All ashamed and blushing goes:

Oh my god. Who's bra is this

NOTE: It's a dad joke but I didn't know how to make a #DadJoke label. So consider yourself warned.

It seems that today you either have to dress like a masculine motor king or a feminine flower queen; I wish there was a middle ground.

A daisy duke if you will.

A local Game Stop burnt to the ground. An insurance adjuster came out to inspect the damage

After looking at the rubble, he asked the manager if the building was a new structure. The manager said, "I don't think so, it was built in the 1970s."

The adjuster said, "I that case, the best payout I can give you is $50,000. If it was a new building I could have given you 95,000.

An emo and a fruit both fall from a tree. Who reaches the ground first?

The fruit, because the rope stopped the emo.

What sound does an airplane make when it hits the ground?

Boeing!

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me?

I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground.
You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"...

My sister gave me some of her homemade exfoliating genital scrub to try. Made with 100% Arabica coffee grounds.

I said I hope it doesn't keep me up all night.

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other

"You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy.  "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."  Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child,...

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Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber...

He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said,"You died in your sleep Ralph."

Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead?No I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!

"St Peter said," I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."

Ralph...

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I finally got my vagina sculpting business off the ground and business is booming. My clients really enjoy my work and are always happy to pay...

For cervix's rendered

What do you get when you put coffee beans in the ground?

Ground coffee

Somewhere, buried down deep in the ground

Is the bar future presidents have to get over in order to seem credible, effective, or hell even just aware of their surroundings.

A pharmacist arrived to his drugstore when he see a man on the ground moaning lightly.

So the pharmacist goes in his store and ask his assistant if she took care of the guy outside. She explains him that he had a bad cough but there was no more cough mixture.
Pharmacist: What did you tell him?
Assistant: I gave him a bottle of laxative and tell him it was cough mixture and he dr...

What did the Pope say to the heretic who successfully lobbied to be buried on hallowed ground?

"What we have here is a failure to excommunicate!"

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A man is walking down the street when he notices what looks like shit on the ground

He bends over and inspects the pile.

”It sure looks like shit” he thinks to himself.

He moves a bit closer to it a takes quick breath through his nose.

”It sure smells like shit”

He picks up a piece and squeezes it in his hand.

”It sure feels like shit”

He t...

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one...

I saw a good looking guy at McDonalds spank his kid for throwing his fries on the ground.

So I threw my fries on the ground too

Did you hear about the 3 holes in the ground?

Well, well, well...

A plane is landing and slams into the ground a bit roughly...

The Captain comes on the intercom. “Ladies and Gentleman, on behalf of the entire crew we would like to apologize for the rough landing you just experienced.”

“However, I want to ensure you that it was not my fault.”

“Additionally, it was not the co-pilot’s fault either.”

“It wa...

A hunter and his friend are walking down a path when they spot a deep hole in the ground.

The hunter says "how far do ya reckon that hole goes?" The friend replies with "i don't know, lets chuck something down there and find out." They both lug an old radiator from the nearby bushes over to it and let it fall in. They start to count and listen for the thud, but before they hear it land, ...

Today, I had a hard time getting a tree stump out from under the ground...

That was pretty root of it if you ask me

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Jane always had a certain attraction to Tarzan. So during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex.

"Tarzan not know what is sex" he replied.

Jane then explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said ...."Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Stunned by his response, Jane said: "Tarzan you have it all wrong, you don't shag a tree to get yourself off. Tell you what, I will show yo...

Many vegetables live above ground. Not onions though.

Onions have lairs.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a Jack and Coke.

The bartender reaches behind the bar and grabs a dark red apple, and hands it to the customer.

Dumbfounded, he says “Hey man, what the hell is this? I asked for a Jack and coke!”

The bartender said “Just go a head and take a bite.”

So the man took a bite and his eyes widened “W...

A Emo and a leaf fall off a tree witch one hits the ground 1st?

The leaf, A rope stops the Emo

Better be isolated than grounded

Joe: 45, electrician

Why did the plane get grounded?

Bad attitude.

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Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community...

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'si...

So, me and my girlfriend were walking to the store once, when she suddenly collapsed to the ground.

She said "It's a medical condition. I won't be able to walk for the next hour."

Well, I couldn't just leave her there. I loved her, we had been together for years.

So, I picked her up bridal style, and started walking. I knew that we had to cancel our date, but that's okay. I knew that...

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather.

The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch," said the fox.

"Wait," replied the rabbit, "You should at least wait a few days."

"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"

"Well, I am just finishing my thesi...

What does a French man say when he drops an egg on the ground?

Oeuf

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

Joe Biden:...

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Everyone knows Dave

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave ...

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My girlfriend says on a camping ground you'll have the best sex.

I tent to agree.

As the coffin was lowered into the ground at a traffic warden’s funeral, a voice from inside yelled: “I’m not dead! I’m not dead!”

To which the vicar shouted back: “Sorry, the paperwork has already been done.”

Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered.

Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.

It is through this entrance that they find a secret passage way, one that is made a...

I once saw a man in a wheelchair throw his trash on the ground

I guess he wasn't a stand-up guy

You mean WHAT?

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending
divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the
middle of the property with a stream running by.”
"No," he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this...

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The men life cycle

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a
passionate girl, but she was too emotional....

TIL The higher you drop a piano, the higher the note that plays when the piano hits the ground

For example, drop it all the way down a mine shaft and it'll hit A minor

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The ground floor toilets were out of order. So I had to use the ones on the floor above.

That was some next level shit

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6 life lessons

6 life lessons

**Lesson 1:**

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, ...

Why does Iceland have such a revered and colorful ground?

Because the flora lichen it.

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I guy walks in to a bar. Has a story to tell.

He's sat at his local, looking kind of miserable. The barman says "Hey, how ya doin'? You don't look so good ...". The guy replies "Last night ... Last night was the worst night of my life."

"Oh really?" says the barkeep, "How bad can it be?"

So the guy tells his story:

...

Every recipe for meatballs I find says to crack open a couple of eggs into some ground beef.

I guess that's why the two yolk is always in the cow mince

I was in a long line at 7:45 am today at the grocery store that opened at 8 am for seniors only.

A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.

He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.

As he ap...

Two men are walking through the woods together and they come across an insanely huge hole in the ground.

The first man picks up a rock and tosses it into the hole. The rock vanishes from sight, and neither guy could hear the rock hit the bottom.

The second man decides to throw a huge log into the hole. After a few seconds pass, again there was no sound.

Both men, wanting to know how dee...

When the inventor of Tetris, Alexey Pajitnov, died, his coffin was put into the ground.

Then the entire cemetery disappeared.

Mom never told me I shouldn't touch electric wires

Imagine my shock when I got grounded!

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A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so, and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got on very well.

One day, though, he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked if he could arrange a divorce for him, "Very quick!"

The lawyer explained that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked these questions: LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"

POLE: "An acre and hal...

A beautiful blond woman was driving down a curvy back country road in her pink Cadillac.

As she comes around a corner, she sees an extremely large rabbit lying dead in the middle of the road. It looked to be about three feet tall. The rabbit had a blue and pink vest on. On the ground next to the bunny was a large wicker basket, and strewn about the road was an abundance of candy, small ...

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide-and-seek.

Einstein is "It," closes his eyes, counts to 10, and then opens them. Pascal is nowhere to be seen.

Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand.

He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to one side. Einstein says, "Newton, you're terrible...

Two hunters are walking through the woods when they stumble upon a large hole in the ground.

The first hunter says to the other, "That looks really deep. I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how far it goes."

To find out how deep it really is, the hunters toss some nearby pebbles into the hole and try to listen for when the pebbles hit the bottom. None of the pebbles make a sou...

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A professor, a janitor, and the school's principal are leaving for the day when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."

The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After just a few minutes, he ca...

When will people stop eating ground pork?

When pigs fly.

There's a type of mustard gas that stays near the ground and only kills people less than 4 feet tall.

It's used in chemical dwarfare.

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Ladies Playing Golf

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rus...

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[NSFW] Two friends were hiking in the woods

As they're hiking a snake bites one of them in the balls Panicking the other friend ran to get help from a park ranger. He asks the ranger what to do. The ranger says you have to tie off the limb really tight to prevent the venom from circulating and suck the venom out of the bite. The guy runs back...

What happened to the steak that fell down?

It became ground beef

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A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.

“Magic beer,” he says.

“Oh, yeah? What’s so magical about it?”

Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, flies around the building, then finally returns to his seat with a triumphant smile.

“Amazing!” the man says. “Lemme try some of that!” The man grabs the bee...

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.

She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cute-glass bowl sitt...

If obi wan kenobi ever made a drug den he would call it..

The High Ground

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A guy was lost in the desert with no food or water when he finally sees a house in the distance

the guy reaches the house and knocks on the door. an old chines man answer it, the guy begs the old man to give him some food, water, and a place to stay for the night. the man agrees in one term: the guy cannot have sex, kiss or even touch the his doughter, and that if he breaks those rules he will...

A man walks into a diner

A man walks into a diner and walks over to the counter, he asks for an esspresso but the waiter replies that they dont serve esspresos at this diner. The man goes ballistic about him needing a fast to wake up and he needs to go to work now. He demands that they make him a fresh pot right now and the...

Wife: “I want a divorce”

Lawyer: “Thats fine, just call him in here and tell him

*Husband comes in*

Wife: You act like a detective too much, lets split up

Husband: Good idea! We can cover more ground that way!

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Thought you'd like to know.

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called, and that on a few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog o...

How does a blind parachutist know when he's near the ground?

The lead on his guide dog goes slack.

Two Montana rednecks are out hunting and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground...

They approached it and are amazed by the depth of it. The first Hunter says, "Wow,that's some whole.I can't even see the bottom.Must be an old mine shaft. I wonder how deep it is."


The second Hunter says,"Well,let's grab that old transmission over there and throw it down in the hole and w...

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A doctor joke

(You May only get if you understand the nature of the different medical specialties)

A surgeon, internist, radiologist, and pathologist go duck hunting for the first time.

They are huddled in the duck blind and the first bird goes flying in front of them, but they can’t clearly make o...

An old dime store novel writer walks into a saloon...

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). "Mind if I play?"

The others ...

Why can't you run through a camp ground?

You can only ran, because it's past tents.

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A backpacker is traveling through Ireland when it starts to rain.

He decides to wait out the storm in a nearby pub. The only other person at the bar is an older man staring at his drink. After a few moments of silence the man turns to the backpacker and says in a thick Irish accent:

"You see this bar? I built this bar with my own bare hands. I cut down ever...

The shovel is a ground breaking invention, but it was the invention of the broom that truly swept the nation by storm. However, the invention of the wheel got things rolling...

And I’m just here wondering why our feet smell and our nose run...

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Twelve monks were about to be ordained

Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up nude, in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of puri...

I saw a snail creeping slowly across the ground.

I thought if I remove his shell, he could move faster. But it only made him more sluggish.

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[Long] Two men are walking across a field, when they come across a very large hole in the ground. So large that they can't see the bottom of this hole. "I wonder how deep it is.", the first man says. The second man pulls out a coin, and flips it into hole. They wait and listen....

....nothing. "Wow!", they both exclaim. "Let's try something else.", says one man to the other. They spot a large rock nearby, and with a struggle, they get the rock to the hole. They roll it in, wait and listen....still nothing. " My goodness! How deep this hole must be!", says one man. " Let's try...

Men's Helpline for Women

Dear John,

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV.  My car stalled, and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He wa...

Two women archaeologists are down in Mexico excavating an ancient Mayan burial ground looking for some remains to take back to their museum.

Unfortunately, everything they run across is badly decomposed. One of the two says, "We don't seem to be having much luck."
The other replies, "Keep on digging, honey, a good Mayan is hard to find!"

My neighbor was walking across the street while carrying the game Scrabble then suddenly dropped it, leaving the game board and pieces on the ground.

I said: “Hey Jeff! What’s the word on the street?”

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I like to brag about my penis being two inches. From the ground.

I’m told it’s not as impressive if I’m laying on my stomach.

A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee.

The gentleman takes a sip and spits it out.


He turns to the waiter and says, “Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!” 


The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the gentleman and says, “But, sir, it’s fresh ground!”

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If you drop the soap, does the soap get dirty or the ground get clean?

It doesn’t matter because you just got fucked in the ass.

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This guy walking on the street ran into this pretty woman and said. "I bet I can drop $500 on the ground and have sex with you before you can pick it up".

The woman calls her friend to tell her about it. The friend says "set him up when he drops the money just pick it up and run". So the woman tells the guy, "The bet is on". A few minutes go by and the girls friend calls her back to find out how did it go. The woman says, "The asshole didn't tell me h...

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A man wakes up at 7 am

He finds out he has 7 dollars left on his bus pass. He takes bus 777 to work. At work, his boss moves him to office 7. His wife packed 7 apple slices for him. When he exits the building, he finds 7 dollars on the ground. "The gods must be trying to tell me something," he thinks. As he walks to the b...

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An old man goes to the doctor’s office.

After complaining to him for a few minutes the doctor gives him a small container and tells him to come back tomorrow with a sample of his semen in it. On the next day the old man arrives in the office and says “I’m sorry doctor but i could not do it. First i tried with my right hand and then the le...

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So it was regular day at the sperm bank...

... when this guy wearing a ski mask barges in with a gun and screams:

"EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND NOW!"

The people do as he says and then the guy turns to the receptionist and points the gun at her. She tries to negotiate with him.

"Please just take the money and leave! You don't ...

Camping

A blonde was out camping in the woods one day when she encountered a big Grizzly bear. Just when she was about to run, she remembered hearing that playing dead can save her life.She was told to be completely still and not make any noise. As she laid on the ground playing dead she felt the bear sniff...

My friend keeps saying cheer up it could be worse you could be in a hole in the ground full of water

I know he means well

Engineer professors on a plane...

A plane full of engineering professors were planned to go to a convention. As the professors are placed in their seats, the captain speaks in the loud speakers. "Hello everyone, and welcome to our flight. Before take-off I just want you all to know, this airplane has been built by all of your very ...

Christian, muslim and buddhist are goingto jump from a 100 story building to see which religion is the best.

The muslim jumps first and while falling he starts repeating: "praised be Allah", gets to the 30th floor while still repeating the same and then he proceeds to splat on the ground.

The buddhist goes second and jumps and starts repeating:"Buddha, Buddha, Buddha" he gets to the 60th floor and h...

Two carpenters are fixing a barn roof...

when the wind blows their ladder over. "Oh great," says the first one, "How are we supposed to get down?"

"Well," replies the second one, "I'll go to this end and look for a way down, and you can go to the opposite end and search as well."

"Ok," replies the first carpe...

Rabbi John is arguing with three other Rabbis over a passage in the Torah.

He argues with them for over an hour before he says

Rabbi John: Alright you three think you're right and I think I'm right. Let's ask God.

The four men walk outside to a cliff, and John shouts to the sky


Rabbi John: God if I'm right send me a sign!


Storm clouds ...

Two blondes are walking down the street when one of them sees a small mirror on the ground...

She picks it up and looks into it. With a puzzled look on her face, she says to her friend "hmmm this woman looks familiar". Her friend grabs the mirror from her and looks into it. "Of course that woman looked familiar, you idiot. It's me!"

A rabbi, a priest, and an imam were walking down a deserted road when they stumbled upon a pot filled with gold coins

After a few moments they all agreed that being men of God, they can't take all the gold for themselves. They have to give something back to God. The Priest said: i'm going to draw a square on the ground and throw the pot high in the air. Whatever fells inside the square is mine to take, whatever ...

A man called the hospital where his pregnant wife was admitted. He was accidentally connected to the Lord's Cricket Ground.

"So how did it go ?", he asked.

The person on the other side of the line said, "We've got four out and expect to have the rest out before lunch. The last one was a duck."

Man in a hotel bar bets a man that the updrafts on the side of the tall building he can jump off the roof and safely land on the ground, softly...

The other guy says laughs it off, and the first guy says, "tell'em barkeep!"

Bartender sighs, "I've seen him do it."

Second man is rightly confused, but intrigued.

Five minutes later, he watches the man jump off, and last second slows and settles to the ground. He's in shock. W...

Why does Obi-Wan keep his coffee on the top shelf?

He likes the high grounds.

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Sally's first job

Little Sally is excited that a new house is going to be built on the vacant lot next-door.

Soon she gets to see the ground dug up, a foundation laid down, and the arrival of the carpenters. They're a little rough around the edges but after a short while, Sally is over there talking with the c...

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Know your homonyms

As teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset."

She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it's time to lea...

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A man finds an odd looking lamp on the ground one day...

The man picks the lamp up and rubs it, and to his surprise, a genie flies out.

"I will grant you one wish, and one wish only"

The man thinks, " What could I ever wish for, I have a great life."

The genie says to the man, " Life might be great now, but the odds may be against you...

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A group of four lifelong hunters decided to end their careers in the best way possible.

They'd taken down the most dangerous game to be found, all over the world. From saltwater gators, to bull elephants. They were renowned worldwide for having bagged a giant squid some few years back, but they were getting on in age and knew that they'd be unable to keep up with the youngsters before ...

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Frenchman in Morocco

A Frenchman seeking some thrills travels to Morocco and decides to go bungee jumping off the top of mosques. As he bounces back into the air, all of the passerby in Morocco are in awe and one Moroccan passerby decides that he wants to try it himself.

He finds the Frenchman at a nearby cafe a...

A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher.

He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reachi...

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Tarzan meets Jane [NSFW]

Tarzan and Jane were in the jungle and Jane said she was feeling horny. Tarzan wasn't sure what she meant so she proceeded to explain.

Tarzan told her that when he felt like that he just used a hole in a tree trunk. Jane said that was so sad, and she wanted to help him out.

She got n...

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Paddy and Murphy come across a girl whose bike has a flat tyre...

Murphy leaves Paddy to help her and goes on his way. A few minutes later Paddy passes Murphy on the girl's bike.

"What the fuck happened?" asks Murphy.

"Well, I fixed her bike and bejaysus she takes her knickers off, lies on the ground and says, ‘take what you want big boy!’ So I took ...

A muslim, a christian, and a buddhist compete to see who has the most powerful God by jumping off a 100 story building. Whoever survives the fall, wins.

The christian comes first. He jumps off the building and says: "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus..." until he falls to the ground and dies.


Next up, the buddhist. He jumps off the building and says: "Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Budda..." until he reaches an inch off the ground and floats away saf...

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a list of puns!

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

Tonto puts his head to the ground....

...and says: "Buffalo come".

Lone Ranger: "How do you Know?"

Tonto: "Face Sticky.."

My wife said my obsession with everything Muppets had put our relationship on fragile ground.

I took her hands in mine, looked her straight in the eyes and said, “Oh sweetheart, it’s *’down in Fraggle Rock.’*”

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