Cops should start carrying t-shirt guns…

Because nothing gets someone’s hands up like a t-shirt gun

Guns N’ Roses got their tour bus lifted

Axl Rose

Biden will NEVER get my guns

I keep them upstairs

Cats are a lot like guns

Regardless of whether you love them or you think that nobody should own them, you've probably thought about shooting one before.

Guns are like gum...

Pull it out in class and everyone acts like you’ve been best friends since kindergarten.

I met this girl Mary on tinder and took her to an all you can eat buffet I knew it wasn't going to work out when she told me she was a vegetarian so I decided to go down with guns blazing.

She came back with her salad to find me with my plate loaded up with every type of meat I could get my hands on.

I was shocked, though pleasantly surprised, when she asked for a bite of my kabab.

Mary had a little lamb.

I was cleaning one of my finger guns.

I accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.

When you're not from America and think people shouldn't carry guns.

Its just Europeanion

I buy all my guns from a T. Rex

He's my small arms dealer.

I think my wife has been putting superglue on my water gun collection.

She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns.

The Law of The Forest

A hunter goes into the woods to go hunting. Suddenly, he hears a bear growling. He then spots it not too far away. He aims his gun at it, shoots, and misses. The bear turns toward the sound of the gunshot, annoyed.

"Mister," said the bear. "Why are you trying to shoot me when I'm out here min...

Americans like to fish by shooting guns at big groups of fish from their boats.

They call it "School Shootings".

Just A Man Shopping With His Wife

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local grocery store. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow...

What type of sights are used on the guns of the Indian Army?

Red Dot

Guns don't kill people, people kill people.

Toasters don't toast toast toast toast toast.

Trumpets and Guns

In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns. One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says, "So how is your strange business going?"

"What do you mean strange?"

"Because you sell only trumpets and guns!"

"So?"

"Well, let me put it this way,...

What do You Call Tortilla Chips With Guns?

Loaded Nachos

The government offered to buy my guns from me

But after a thorough background check of the buyer, I am not comfortable with selling weapons to organized crime.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Escaped prisoner robbing a Couple

After being in prison for 15 years, a man escapes. He breaks into a house to look for money & guns but finds a young couple in bed. He orders the man out of the bed ties him to a chair. He tied the girl to the bed and kisses her neck. Then he gets up & goes into the bathroom.
The husband ...

What do you call King Kong with a gun

Sir

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy dressed in a cowboy costume...

A little boy wearing a cowboy costume walks into an ice cream shop.
The lady behind the counter says, "Don't you look dashing in your cowboy outfit! What can I get for you 'lil partner?"

"I want an ice cream sundae with lots of chocolate and nuts!"

She says, "Do you want your nuts c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chemist, Biologist, and Physicist were captured by Nazis

The Nazis had taken all three scientists to the woods and lined them up on their knees with their hands on their head. They were about to be executed.

The Nazis aim their guns, and the biologist screams "bear". The Nazis turn around expecting a bear, but none was there. The biologist had esc...

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