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Powered Jokes

I started a company that makes wind powered rockets

Sails are taking off!

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A well-renown, high-powered lawyer was just in a horrific car accident.

He was side-swiped, ripping the driver's side door completely off.

A police officer, who happened to be there, ran straight to the man. He found the him sitting on the ground against the wreck angrily swearing and yelling.

Officer: (Relieved the man is well enough to be yelling): "You...

Has heard about the new vehicle powered by urine?

Apparently you can't get it there, as only European models are available

Because gas prices are so high I invented a car powered by talking.

However, being a man of few words, I quickly got tired of talking in order to get anywhere so I modified the car to run on thoughts alone. I'm very happy with the results because, well, it goes without saying.

An elevator powered by dreams

So you can sleep your way to the top

What did Alexa say when she powered down?

HAL be back...

President Obama visits the Pentagon...

President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology.

A scientist says to him "We have two projects that we are very proud of. One is a powered exoskeleton and the other is an invisibility cloak. Which would you like to try first?"

Obama replies, "Uh, let ...

What do you call a solar powered keyboard?

A photosynthesiser

Cindy and Lucy were to high-powered DC lawyers.

They had been childhood friends, gone to the same law school, and gone into partnership together. Through their hard work, they became well known in the DC area and bumped elbows with politicians.

One summer, they decided to hold a fourth of july party and invite all the members of congress....

I was raised in a nuclear powered family.

My parents were so obsessed with appearances that external pressure overcame their repulsion for me.

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There was a ninja who attacked people with high-powered semen.

No one would ever see him coming.

What did a solar powered bulb say to the Sun on cloudy day?

Notice me Senlight

A bright, young, fresh-out-of-school auditor just joined the IRS, excited to begin tracking down high-powered offenders--such as the Enron or WorldCom guys. Anxious for his first high-powered audit, he was a bit dismayed when his assignment was to audit a Rabbi.

*Looking over the books and taxes were pretty straight forward and the Rabbi clearly very frugal, so he thought he'd make his day interesting by having a little fun with the Rabbi. "Rabbi," he said, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."*

*"Yes," answered the Rabbi.*

*"Well, Rabbi,...

What did the police say to the low powered robot ?

"I'm gonna charge you with battery"

You can buy USB-powered taillights...

I guess they’re for safely backing up your computer.

My battery powered dinosaur toy has stopped working.

I guess it just has a bad case of e-reptile dysfunction.

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The owner of a sex shop, hires a new clerk.

After the owner taught him the basics of running the store, he has to run an errand.

'Could you run the store on your own for a couple of hours, Jeremy?' he asks.

'Sure thing boss!' Jeremy replied, 'don't you worry, I've got this.'

So the boss leaves for his errands, leaving you...

I've invented a solar-powered still!

It turns sunshine into moonshine.

Credit: Quirk.

Headline: Herb-Powered Vehicle Sends User to Past or Future of Choice

Byline: Thyme Travel

What's so cool about the nitrous/ethanol powered rocket?

You can continue to get higher even when the engine is turned off.

Have you heard about the sodium-powered robot?

He was charged with a salt battery.

Why should you always hunt deer with a high powered rifle?

To get the most bang for your buck.

What do you call a nuclear-powered car?

A mobile-Chernobyl!

Salesman

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." "Go a...

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What do you call an Over powered Janitorial Storm Trooper at the Death Star?

A Super Duper Pooper Trooper.

I thought I was buying a super awesomely high-powered jock itch cream.

but apparently the "AF" stands for "antifungal."

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