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detonatedetonationgunpowderwarheadheatchemicalfrictionexplosiongrenadeexplosive devicedynamiteflammableminingvolatileunstable

If A is for "apples" and B is for "bananas", what is C for?

Explosives

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so a man is pulled over

The cop walks up to the window and says sir, do you know why I pulled you over? The man says no and the cop says I clocked you doing 77 in a 65. May I see you license, registration and proof of insurance. The man says he not only has none of those but the car is stolen. The couple he stole it from ...

A banker, a blacksmith, and a demolitions expert are all on a small plane.

The engine on the plane starts to fail and the pilot says to the three passengers on board
“Throw your least important belongings over the plane so that we can lighten the load on the engine”

The banker decides that his pennies weigh the most and have the least value so he throws all of th...

What do you get when you cross a dog and some explosives?

A treat seeking missile.

A guy exploded himself after asking me what damage could explosives do

All i said is "c4 yourself"

What did the redditor say when he robbed a bank with explosives?

Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold!

A general is inspecting the drydock where an advanced prototype is in the final stages of commissioning.

The project manager excitedly explains how the attack submarine will be much faster than an enemy due to an innovative design which drastically reduces drag forces. The general asks how progress is coming along.

The manager replies, “The propulsion system is complete, I think it's ready for ...

What did one terrorist tell the other terrorist when asked where to get explosives?

"See for yourself."

What do you call an explosives specialist from Oklahoma?

OK boomer

Where do fish go shopping for explosives?

The Sea-Floorium

(Yes, I am a dad)

I keep trying to come up with a joke about explosives

But they all blow up in my face

My grandads old place has this old fence that for some reason seems to be impossible to remove. Tonight I'm going to try explosives

Edit: Wow I didnt expect this post to blow up as much as it did!

So my friend put down three explosives.

For some reason, I C4.

A terrorist struck a local farm, setting off explosives inside the farmer's prized steer, blowing it to smithereens, but apparently committing no other mischief. The crime scene investigator had these words at the press conference...

"Abominable. Simply abominable."

What do vending machines, explosives and a cross-eyed seeing two people have in common?

C4, and there's a chance someone might get hurt.

Suicide Bombers don’t like to be called explosives

They self identify as fireworks

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Did you hear about the male pornstar who accidentally put explosives in with his laundry?

He blew his load everywhere!

What did the explosives specialist say when he was about to hit the switch on his first bomb?

Please let this blow up

I started a business putting explosives in prayer mats

Prophets are though the roof.

My friend is an arms dealer. He has a Holiday sale right now where he's selling explosives for $1 each

It's a bang for your buck.

Explosives

Mother: "How was school today, Bobby?"

Bobby: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Bobby: "What school?"

An explosives expert liked to blow up bombs beside the city's underground septic lines. One day, while planting a device, he made a fatal mistake...

The newspapers called him a sewer side bomber.

What type of explosives do frogs use?

FROGmentation grenades.

The year is 1939, Soviet troops are marching on Finland

As they cross the border, the general hears a Finnish voice just over a hill saying "one Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!".

The general laughs and sends 10 soldiers to take the hill, after a minute or so of gunfire, the same voice says "one Finnish soldier is better than 1...

A friend of mine makes prayer mats with hidden explosives

I asked how his business is doing, he said: "Great! Prophets are through the roof!"

How do you commit suicide using remote explosives?

See for yourself

I came home and told my mum we were playing with explosives in science.

Mum: what are you doing in school tomorrow.

Me: what school?

Three men are sitting on an airplane.

One has a a banana, one has a skateboard, and one has a bomb. The first one peels the banana, eats the banana, and throws the peel out the window. The second man just throws the skateboard out the window. The last man lights the fuse on his bomb and throws it out the window.

When they arrive ...

[Breaking] Muslim terrorists have crashed a speedboat full of explosives into the base of the Hoover Dam...

Police suspect this might be the first attack in a month long operation named Ramadam.

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Explosive Gas

So three people got on small airplane. A Japanese Guy, an Australian guy, and an American guy.

During the plane ride the Japanese guy opened the window and tossed his prized Katana out the window and said "This is for my country" .

Later, the Austrailian guy opened the window and toss...

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A man driving down the road sees a sign in front of a house that says “$5 for talking dog”

The man is perplexed and decides to pull over to investigate. After parking he walks up to the porch where a man is sitting in a rocking chair enjoying the day.

The driver asks “I saw your sign about a talking dog? Where can I see this dog?”

To which the man rocking simply points to th...

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