Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in france?

There was nothing but de brie.

Elon Musk Announces Odd location for New Tesla Factory in the Country of........

Mad-at-gas-car

I hated my job at the can crushing factory.

It was soda pressing.

I decided to go vegan after visiting the meat production factory.

The livestock conditions were appalling.
The process involving production of Meatballs and Salami was bad.
But wait till you see the one of German sausage. It was the wurst.

Edit : Sweden has already decided to bring in regulations. I'd say they are ahead of the korv.

I went to a peanut factory today.

It was nuts

I left my job at the helium factory

I refused to be spoken to in that tone

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Pedro worked in a fine pickle factory in Mexico City

For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the cucumber slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.
After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Pedro to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of ...

A cheese factory exploded recently..

...Unfortunately, nothing could be salvaged except for de-brie.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man works at the Branston Pickle factory, and comes home at lunch time one day.

His wife asks, "why are you home so early?"

To which he replies, "I got fired. I got caught putting my willy in the pickle slicer."

The wife thinks this is absolutely obscene and horrible - so she immediately pulls his pants down and whips out his cock. It's fine. She sighs a sigh of r...

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.

All I did was take a day off.

Did you hear about the guy that quit his job at a quilt filling factory?

He said he was fed up of feeling down...

What does every Tickle Me Elmo doll receive before leaving the factory?

Two test tickles...

What's the difference between a weapons factory and a children's hospital?

Don't ask me buddy. I just fly the drone.

I applied for a job at a furniture factory and they said they had an opening for someone to inspect the mirrors.

I told them "That's a job I could really see myself doing."

A guy I know works at the watch factory,

I ask him "So what do you do?"

He says "I stand around all day making faces"

^^^^thanks ^^^^Mary ^^^^Poppins

I used to work at an orange juice factory...

But I couldn’t CONCENTRATE so I got CANNED

Three Russians are sitting together in the train that takes them to the Gulag.

One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"

The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they
accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."

The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they...

I once had a job at a calendar factory

But I got the sack because I took a couple of days off

A friend of mine had a terrible accident in a baguette factory.

He's now in a lot of pain.

I just got fired from the clock making factory

Because I put in too many hours.

What did the millennial Charlie say after visiting the chocolate factory?

It was choco-lit

So I was fired from the keyboard factory today...

Boss told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

There was a very religious man that bought a nail factory

When the factory was about to open he hired a marketing guy to make a TV commercial, his only instruction was that it had to have a catholic theme. A few days go past and the guy returns with the video to show the factory owner. The video starts: there's a Roman soldier nailing Jesus, who is all blo...

I was caught breaking into a cheese factory with a lock pick and a large stone.

The guard that caught me said "I get the lock pick but what's the Roquefort?"

Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory.

Over 200 souls were lost

Did you hear about the accident at the soup factory?

4 workers got canned.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My friend got hired at a dildo factory

He got fired the very next day for sitting on the job

If you want a job in a moisturizer factory...

...you should apply daily.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Bill has worked in a pickle factory for several years.

One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own.

A few weeks later, Bill returns home absolutely ashen. His wife asks, "Wha...

Why did the human get fired from the calendar factory?

Because they took a few days off.




Probably a repost, but IDC

A friend of mine was looking for a job for months. He got hired by a clock making factory for 2$ an hour.

I asked him why he accepted the offer for so little pay.

He replied "It's not about the money."

"It's about damn time."

Why should you own a coin factory?

It just makes cents.

I used to work in a napkin factory in Russia.

I was in the serviette union

What did the unhappy factory electrons do?

Unionize

A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory

And once all the mess has been cleared up, an inquiry begins. One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement.

"Okay Mr. Milly Terry," says the investigator, "you were near the scene, what happened ?"

"Well, it's like this. Old Hugh Cumber was in the mixing room, and I saw hi...

What is the motto for the fish stick factory?

In cod we crust.

Did you guys hear about the explosion at the cheese factory?

Da brie was everywhere!

It’s going to cost them a lot of cheddar!

Luckily they have a Swiss account saved up.

It surely won’t be gouda.

It even destroyed their onsite cottage!

The new CEO of a factory comes in to work.

The new CEO of a factory comes into work, determined to turn things around. He sees a man standing on the floor of a factory, not doing any work.

He goes up to the man and asks, “What do you think you’re doing?”

The man shrugs and replies, “Just hanging around. Waiting to get paid.”...

Why was the blonde fired from the M&Ms factory?

Because she threw out all the Ws

I'd like to work in a factory that produces counter-tops

so I could get paid for being counter-productive.

I went for a guide through a factory once, but was not amused...

It was a dissatisfactory.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I don't know why I was fired at the Viagra factory

The surveillance video showed me hard at work.

Did you hear about the cowboys who deny robbing the glue factory?

They're sticking to their guns.

I got the job of working in a mattress factory and went in it on the first day

It was the first time that I made my bed.

I've decided I want to work in a mirror factory.

It's something I can totally see myself doing.

What do you call a factory that produces OK products?

Satisfactory

Where do facts come from?

The factory.

Did you hear about the child laborers that died at the candy factory?

It was Haribo.

Class trip to the coca-cola company factory

I hope there's no pop quiz


Cause I'm diabetic

The police receive a noise complaint from a nearby tennis equipment factory

They were making a racket.

Fire at Australian sausage factory (long)

One dark night in the small town of Woopwoop, W.A, a fire started inside the local sausage factory. In a blink the building was engulfed in flames.

The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage com...

Why did House Stark shut down the northernmost cereal factory in the Seven Kingdoms?

Cuz they were bad at Raisin’ Bran

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says,

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies,...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I got fired from my job at the toy factory

I was sewing two furry balls on tickle-me-elmo

When the boss asked why, I told him he'd emailed me telling me to do it.

"Please give the Elmo's two test tickles before shipping"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man comes home to his wife from his job at a relish factory one day

He has a confused, lost look on his face, so his wife asks what's wrong.

The man turns to her and says, "I've been having the strangest urge at work lately."

His wife, being the caring woman she is, asks "What is it."

The man sighs and says, "I keep wanting to put my dick in the...

Three Soviet men, away from home on factory surveys, are staying in a hotel and trying to kill time.

First it's just some idle chitchat, then at some point one of them decides to prank his companions and excuses himself. He goes out of the room and asks a maid to bring them all tea in fifteen minutes or so. He then gets back and casually slips in a joke. Fifteen minutes later they are all enthusias...

What did Gene Wilder name his drug smuggling operation?

Charlie Up The Chocolate Factory

Have you ever been to a hot dog factory?

No, I haven't sausage a place.

The factory of the future will have only two employees...

...the man and the dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man away from the machines.

What do you call a fake attempt to overthrow management at the puzzles and mind games factory?

Pseudo coux

I work in a factory that makes Dracula figurines.

However, there are only 2 employees so I have to make every second count.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My brother was fired from a factory job for sticking his dick in the pipe cutter during his shifts.

They fired her at the same time, too.

I'm not having much luck with jobs lately:

I couldn't concentrate in the orange juice factory.

I wasn't suited to be a tailor.

The muffler factory was just exhausting.

I couldn't cut it as barber.

I didn't have the patience to be a doctor.

I didn't fit in the shoe factory even though I put my soul into it.<...

Today, a man was injured at the local glass cleaner factory....

His injuries are very clear.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Did you hear about the sex offender at the Hershey factory?

He stole a Kiss

I got fired from my job at the helium factory...

Because I refuse to be spoken to in that tone. I have always wanted a job in a mirror factory. It's a job I could see myself doing

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Hell, I did't want to know how hot dogs were made. But I went to the factory anyway. Turns out, hot dogs are just stuffed with lips and assholes.

Now I eat turkey dogs... because lips are disgusting.

I regret getting a manager position at soda factory...

It's so-da-grading.

BREWER: We’re sorry to inform you Mrs. O’reilly that your husband drowned today at the Guinness factory

WIFE: Well at least give me the comfort in knowing it was a quick death

BREWER: well he drowned in only 15 minutes, short considering he got out of the keg twice to pee

I was visiting a jam factory the other day,

They asked me if I had heard of any of the new techniques being used to grow berries. I told them that I wasn't up to date on my currant events.

A factory burned in a fire

One of the survivors, a worker from the factory, goes home to his wife
“Honey, there was a fire, the factory burned down and many of my coworkers died”
“That’s horrible!” She replied
“Tragic... The company is insuring the families of the deceased with hundreds of thousands of dollars”
<...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Eunuch goes for a job in a factory

He has the interview and gets shown around the shop floor and is told that everyone works from 8am to 6pm, 5 days a week. When they get back to the office the Manager tells the Eunuch he has the job and can start at 8.30am on Monday. The Eunuch says "but everyone starts work at 8am" to which the Man...

What happens when a cheese factory explodes?

De-brie goes everywhere.

I used to work in a calender factory

But I was fired for taking a couple of days off.

A man applies for a job as a diesel fitter at a women's underwear factory. He asks his supervisor what the job entails.

The supervisor takes some underwear off the line, puts it on his head and says, "Deez'll fit 'er!"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man goes home to his wife, after being fired from his job at a chips factory

The wife acts surprised, because the man has been employee of the month for 13 months in a row.

She asks "What happened?"

"I got fired for putting my penis in the potato cutter. It's been a dream of mine, and I couldn't resist it anymore", the man replied.

The wife, even more...

People often ask what I do at the teddy bear factory.

Just stuff.

I was so tried today after working at the giant keyboard factory..

I put in a big shift

Did you hear about the bombing at the garment factory?

Apparently there were over 100 casual tees.

My husband was quite distraught and incoherent after losing his job at the cologne factory.

I don't know how to reply; he just isn't making scents anymore.

I once worked in a paper factory.

My responsibilities were twofold.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I got to the factory this morning ready for my usual day of boxing up milk cartons, when...

my boss walked up to me and said, "I'm afraid there was a problem last night. Some idiot on a forklift dropped the sugar in to the milk condenser."

"Oh, shit", I said, "how much was contaminated?"

"I'm not gonna lie," he said, "... all of it... I'm afraid that for the rest of the day, ...

A man working at a sausage factory died in a tragic accident

The forman calls the man's wife to break the news.
Unconsolable, she asks "how did it happen? Did he have a heart attack? Did he fall down the stairs?"
The forman replies "No, ma'am. He tripped into the machine that puts the ground meat into links."
"It's the wurst case scenario."

Last week I had an accident at the upholstery factory

I'm fully recovered now.

I worked in a can recycling factory for 10 years

It was sodapressing

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Working at a factory making huge calculator buttons isn't exactly my dreamjob, but at least my only task is to fabricate one kind of button.

That's a big plus.

My friend got a job recently as the security guard at a toothpaste factory...

He’s a Colgate-keeper

An owner of a peanut package factory walks in to find a dead body and calls the cops.

The owner nervously watches as the cops arrive, they walk in, stand around the body and whisper quietly. One of the cops points out a small bracelet on the man’s wrist and the other cop nods in agreement. The cops begin to leave when the owner speaks up.

“What’s happening?”

“It’s nothi...

Two brothers work at the same factory...

...and one day they are laid off. So, they decide to apply for a new job with a different company.

The day of the interview, the hiring manager asked the first brother, "What is your current position?"

"I'm a diesel fitter," he replied.

"Excellent!" said the manager. "We have an...

A man is murdered in a dessert factory.

The defendant is clearly guilty, but the investigators struggle to find the murder weapon to properly incriminate him. Where could it possibly have been hidden? The lead investigator is at a loss, when one day he suddenly jumps from his desk as it comes to him.
“The proof is in the pudding!”