Did you hear about the cheese factory in France that exploded ?

There was nothing left but de brie

Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

I was fired from the keyboard factory today.

I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man gets home from work very disgruntled, his wife asks "What is the matter?" (Man) "I got fired from the factory today." (Wife) "Oh honey you poor thing, what did you do now?" (Man) "I stuck my dick in the pickle slicer." Wife *Looks down at his johnson* "What happened to the pickle slicer...?"

She was fired too.

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?

They say the business is toast.

I asked my friend "whats it like working at a tire factory?"

apparently it wears thin after a while

Got a job working in a can crushing factory;

I hate it, it's soda pressing.

I got a new job at the guillotine factory

I'll be heading there shortly

I might work at a mirror factory

I could see myself working at one.

Young man fresh out of college gets a job at a factory

When he arrives he surprised that he is assigned as junior janitor. Shocked he asks for the manager who hired him. “Didn’t you read I have a double major in Social Science and Anthropology”

“Oh” says the man, “ I must have missed that. OK let me explain. Lift the mop up and put in the bucket,...

Sad news from the Nestle factory today as a man was crushed to death by hundreds of boxes of chocolate.

He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he yelled "The Milky Bars are on me!", people just cheered.

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory in France?

De-brie was everywhere.

Following the incident the owner of the factory, monseuir francois was asked his thoughts in an interview.

He merely said

"ehh-Damn!"

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A man that works in a pickle factory walked into his local pub after work wearing a hospital wristband. "Did you have an accident at work today?" the barkeep asked. "Yes, I put my penis in the pickle slicer," the man replied...

"Her husband caught us"

I quit my job at the Helium factory.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

I recently lost my job at the calendar factory

All I did was take a day off

I got fired from my job at the calendar factory

I don’t know why. All I did was take a few days off.

Why did the garment factory owner refuse to make wallets?

He was too clothes-minded.

There was an accident at a furniture factory last week - a guy fell into the sofa reupholstery machine.

...he is completely recovered now.

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A man comes home to his wife from his job at a relish factory one day...

He has a confused, lost look on his face, so his wife asks what's wrong.

The man turns to her and says, "I've been having the strangest urge at work lately."

His wife, being the caring woman she is, asks "What is it."

The man sighs and says, "I keep wanting to put my dick in the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong-Un has reportedly made a public appearance after opening a fertiliser factory.

I smell bullshit.

I used to work in a sausage factory

Until I backed into a grinder and got a little behind in my work.

What do you call a political movement in a Pakistani factory?

A child labor party

When all this is over, I hope I can return to working at the mirror factory where I've worked for over fifteen years.

I really couldn't see myself doing anything else.

Did you hear about the explosion at the Nissan factory?

It was raining Datsun cogs.

Did you hear about the accident at the milk noodle factory?

One of the workers fell into the machinery and they weren't able to stop it in time. He's unfortunately pasta whey.

Two factory workers

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies,...

I first met my now-wife during an internship in a superglue factory, we were involved in a spill accident.

It was a real bonding experience.

What happened to the man that robbed the tissue factory

He got away snot free

What do you call a quick video-conference at the Mazda factory?

A zoom-zoom zoom Zoom.

If you want a job in a moisturizer factory,

you should apply daily.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I work at a factory that turns organic waste into fence parts.

All I do for eight hours a day is make shit posts.

I don't like my job at the fruit beverages factory.

But I got juiced to it.

I got fired from the calendar factory.

They were really strict about employee taking a day off.

What do you call a factory that produces passable products?

A Satisfactory!

Why did the woodland creatures burn down the Hoover factory?

Because nature abhors a vacuum..

There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory.

Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer.

They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, "This should impress him!"

He showed his son a machine and said, "Son, this is the heart of the factory. With this machine here we can put in a pig...

A young woman gets her first job at the Tickle-me Elmo factory.

The boss takes her up to the office that overlooks the assembly line and tells her what her job is. Then he sends her down. About an hour later the line leader comes up to the office and says, “Boss you gotta get this new girl off my line. She’s killing production.”
The boss looks down out of his...

I worked at a deodorant factory once

Until they canned my job

Dogs weren't allowed in Mr. Wonka's factory.

He did however have a chocolate lab.

Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory?

He couldn't concentrate!

What did the man say when he got lost in a cheese factory?

"Excuse me sir, can you show me the whey?"

My ex’s shoe factory burned down

Unfortunately no soles were lost

Why did the factory raising grizzlies for their hides not get shut down permanently by the court?

They had a right to bear farms.

The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory...

because she was fed up with the hole business.

Did you hear about the bankrupt penny factory?

Makes no cents.

I'm not saying all factory workers are robots...

All I'm saying is when they get to work they've returned to their factory setting.

If i’m the night guard at the Samsung factory, does that make me a…

Guardian of the galaxy?

When I was a child I was forced to work in a German sausage factory.

It was the wurst experience of my life.

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Got Fired from a Peanut Butter Factory

Damn Skippy.

What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?

Two test tickles.

Keyboard factory

used to work at a keyboard factory, and my sector was responsible for the making of the Key D; my job was to test whether the D key worked or not, so everyday I would sit and press the D key on different keyboards for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Eventually I had had enough and had to leave, the jo...

The worst part about working at the fire hydrant factory...

is that you couldn't park anywhere near the place.



(Credit: Steven Wright.)

My cousin lost his job at the watch factory last week...

He just stood around all day, making faces.

I know a well-off foot fetishist, who took up a gig at a potato chip factory in his spare time.

When I asked him why, he says he heard "something about Free Toe Lays being one of the perks".

My friend got a job working at a vacuum cleaner factory.

He said the money is good but the job sucks.

Thank you. Thank you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy comes home from his job at the pickle factory

He says to his wife “i need to talk to you about something that happened at work”
Wife - “ok, what’s up?”
Husband - “well lately at work I’ve been having this compulsion, an almost uncontrollable need to put my penis in the pickle slicer.”
Wife - “ My god! Are you crazy? Don’t do it!”
H...

A Safety warning notice in a factory for female workers:

A Safety warning notice in a factory for female workers:
"If your skirt is long, stay away from the engines
and
If it is short, stay away from the engineers.

In all my years working at the Land Rover factory...

I made several discoveries

A Man Worked at a Gardening Factory

At this gardening factory, at the back, there was a large pile of dirt. All the employees were told they could have as much of this dirt as they wanted or needed.

This specific man would take on wheelbarrow of dirt out of the factory each day. The security guard began to get suspicious, think...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bialy and Bagel Factory

The health inspector goes to make his surprise visit to a bialy and bagel factory for it's annual inspection. There, he see a large, hairy shirtless man picking up bialy dough from a conveyor belt and pressing it into his man boob, living the bialy indentation and putting it back on the conveyor be...

What do you call a priest that works at a milk factory?

A pastorizer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the manager at the dildo factory tell his staff?

If you build it... they will cum.

If you work at a factory making kitchen work tops and you're very good at your job

Then ironically, you're being counter-productive.

Did y’all hear about the blonde that got fired from the M&M factory?

She kept throwing away all the Ws

I don’t know if this is original but my dad told this to me many years back.

A company decides to enlist a few people to help with the running of their factory, A Swiss for the time, a German for leadership, a French for the food and a Chinese for the supplies. On the first day the German walks around the factory looking at everyone and everyone is doing their jobs, he sees ...

A joke about a shutdown coin factory.

Nevermind.

It makes no cents.

When I got a job at the M&M factory, I was told I could eat all the mismade chocolates I wanted.

I was shocked at the number of candies misprinted with a "W".

I almost lost my job at the glue factory...

It seemed like everything was falling apart. But I stuck with it, and have managed to hold it all together.

I just needed to adhere to the rules

I lost my job in the abacus factory.

They said all my hard work was counter-productive.

I went for a job at a moisturiser factory.

I didn't get a job but they said I might have better luck if I apply daily.

Guy goes on a tour at a condom factory.

He is amazed at how the latex is poured into a mold and cooled. Thousands of condoms are being made every minute! But he starts to notice that every 20th condom gets punctured. He asks the guide about it. Guide replies: “we also own a baby bottle company.”

Don’t you just hate that situation when you’re making sausage at a sausage factory, and everyone has better looking intestines to pack the sausage in than you?

A wurst casing scenario

My dad said there'd been an explosion at the potassium factory.

K boomer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got fired from the keyboard factory yesterday

I wasn't putting in enough shifts, which I thought was some capital bullshit. They're such Ctrl freaks and now I need to find alternate work

A man worked his whole life at the pickle factory. One day he came home and informed his wife that he had been fired from his job.

She was in disbelief and near tears. "20 years of your life you gave them, and this is how they repay you!", she shouted, confused. "What happened, why were you laid off?"

"Well, for 20 years since I've worked there I've wanted to stick my pecker in the pickle slicer. Call it curiosity if you...

There was a fire at a mattress factory.

No one could rest until they found the culprit.

Two guys go for a job interview

Joey and Frank are good friends who had worked together for over 5 years, but are now between jobs. They decide to go to a hiring agency together. Joey is called in to see the recruiter first, and after about 10 minutes in the room, he comes out elated. "I got the job!". Frank congratulates him and ...

Russian emergency !

Russian President Putin called President Trump with an emergency:

"Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried.

"My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!"

"Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within t...

I asked my friend why he stopped working his job of squishing soda cans at the recycling factory?

He said that it was soda pressing.

Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?

To kill some time

I'm trying really hard to get a job at the moisturizer factory

I'm applying twice a day

I used to work in a powdered soup factory, until I started coughing up little cubes of tofu...

I was forced to retire, after being diagnosed with Miso-thelioma.

What's the difference between a man working in an imitation cheese factory and Freddie Mercury?

The first man wants to fake brie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John worked in a pickle factory.

He had been employed at the factory for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but John indicated th...

I once had a job at a t-shirt factory

I once had a job in a t-shirt factory. Every day, t-shirts would come down the line, and using this big rubber stamp, I’d apply a handful of dots to them, at random, to just given them a general design that wasn’t blank t-shirt. It was soul sucking, but it paid the bills.

However, I kept run...

A polar bear carries a large freezer into an ice factory....

On his way inside, he's stopped by a penguin wearing a tie and a nametag and carrying a clipboard.
"Why are you bringing a freezer into an ice factory??" The penguin asked.
"I'm a new hire," the polar bear replied, "I brought it with me because back home it freezes EVERYTHING. I thought it'...

A friend of mine lost his job in the mint factory

His wife went absolutely menthol

What is the cybertruck’s factory to be called?

The rendering plant

If I were to buy a yoghurt factory...

would that make me a man of culture?

I got an e-mail from a buddy of mine. He always has trouble spelling certain words. He said he quit his job at the glue factory. Upper management wanted everyone to put out 2,500 tubes per hour

I guess he's not the type to work in a fast paste environment.

A worker was suspected of stealing

Every day the security guys would check his wheelbarrow when he was leaving the factory site. They never found anything. It took them weeks to realize that he was stealing wheelbarrows.

I just got fired from the pasta factory :(

I made a fusili mistakes.

Some Communists took over a wheel factory today

They declared a revolution.

A factory worker died today after falling into a vat of coffee. Police say that although it came as a shock to all who knew him, they may take some relief from the fact he didn't suffer.

It was instant.

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