This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I work in a factory that makes McDonalds french fries...

One of co-workers told me yesterday that he's always wanted to put his dick in the Potato Peeler. I tried to talk him out of it, but I could tell he had already made his mind up to do it. I saw him today; he was clearing out his desk. "So you went ahead and did it?" "Yeah, and I got caught, so they ...

A cheese factory exploded in France today.

Da Brie is everywhere.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Who robbed the tampon factory?

Some bloody cunt.

Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory

At first I just wasn’t putting in enough shifts, then I couldn’t keep the space clean and finally I lost control

Why was the man fired from the orange juice factory?

Because he couldn't concentrate.

Took a job in a fertiliser factory...

It's my first daytime job where they give me nitrates.

I was fired from the calendar factory yesterday

All I did was take a week off

What do you call a factory that makes great quality products?

A satisfactory

My boss at the cereal factory pulled me into his office...

“I like your recipes son, but I think we should make some changes.”

“Ok”, I said, “Like What?”

“Well, first I’d like to dip it in sucrose. Then, I’d like to dust it with dextrose -“

“Stop right there”, I said. “No need to sugar coat it.”

I really like going to the Old Spaghetti Factory, but..

I just wish they would make me a fresh plate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Johnny and Susie are working in a factory

Susie says it's too nice outside to be inside working. So, she bets Johnny she can get the rest of the day off. He takes the bet just as the boss comes walking out of his office. Susie climbs up and hangs from the rafters just as the boss walks by. He asks what she's doing and she says I'm a light b...

I just got fired from my job at the door making factory.

I just couldn't get a handle on it.

I just got a job at a factory that makes fire hydrants.

They would not let me park my car there.

In the teats and comdoms factory.

The mayor is visiting a new factory where they make teats and comdoms. When they are near the machine that makes teats it sounds like

"fffff pop,
fffff pop,
fffff pop..."

The mayor asked her assistant to explain it.

Assistant: Well the "fffff" is when the latex gets inflat...

I had to quit my job at the helium factory.

I couldn’t stand being spoken to in that tone.

[OC] I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.

I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

Two factory workers are talking

The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”
The man asks, “And how would you do that?”
The woman says, “Just wait and see.”Then, she hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and asks, “What are you doing?”
The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”
The boss the...

Did you hear about the ruler factory that went out of business?

They just couldn’t measure up to the competition.

A man is on a tour of the Yankee Candle Factory

A man was taking a tour of the Yankee Candle factory when he suddenly saw an incredibly large machine and had no idea what it was. he asked the employee giving the tour what it was, and the employee replied, “Oh! That’s our patented Yankee Candle Maker 5000™️!” The man seemed content and said to him...

Anybody hear about that guy that worked in the calender factory?

He took 2 weeks off in March.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a chemical factory worker?

Write down the word *'unionized'* and ask them to pronounce it.

I tried really hard to enjoy my job at a shoe factory.

But I just didn't fit in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't have sex with my co-workers at the chewing gum factory

cause that would be a sticky business

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy gets a job working in a pickle factory.

A guy gets a job working in a pickle factory as a pickle packer and he excitedly goes home to tell his wife the good news.

"Try not to get fired, we really need this job" she tells him.

The first day on the job he comes home and she asks, "How was work today?"

He replies "I lo...

What do workers in a tea factory never get?

Coffee breaks

I got a new job at the guillotine factory

I'll be heading there shortly

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man who works at a pickle factory comes home and is looking distraught...

His wife asks what's wrong

The man says: " I've been feeling the urge to stick my penis in the pickle slicer"

His wife says: " What?! Don't do that, you need to fight that urge"

The man agrees and he goes back to work the next day. He comes home distraught again.

" Did ...

My friend recently worked at a sugar refinery factory...

until his position was dissolved.

There was a man named billy, billy worked at a pickle factory. One day billy comes home to his wife and says...

...“honey I want to put my pp in the pickle slicer, his wife tells him that’s absurd and not to do it and then went to sleep. Billy goes to work the next day and comes home and tells his wife “honey I put my pp in the pickle slicer!” His wife yelled “what happened?! Was it bloody? Did it hurt?!” The...

I had to quit my job at the Elmer's Glue factory...

I was getting too attached to my coworkers... I couldn't separate myself from my work.

The shoe factory burned down today. Sadly, there were no survivors.

Rest In Peace all those poor soles.

My first job was working at an orange factory

But I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

New car factory in USA

As I understand it the Audi car company are opening a new factory in Texas to produce a new SUV to be called the Audi Neighbour.

Just got fired from da carpet factory.

I can't understand it. I kept telling dem how much I love working on da rugs.

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?

They say the business is toast.

What’s the last thing they gave to Tickle Me Elmo before he left the factory?

Two Test Tickles.

I asked my friend "whats it like working at a tire factory?"

apparently it wears thin after a while

The worst job I ever had was at the canvas factory, pushing a large needle through 50 layers of cloth over and over and over...

Sew boring!

I told a joke about a meat factory to my friends

They thought it was well done.

I randomly thought of this joke and considering it’s my cake day I thought I’d post it.

I work at a factory that makes plastic Dracula figures...

However, there's only two of us running the factory line, so I have to make every second count.

I had to quit my job at the Coca-Cola carbonation factory.

It was just soda pressing.

Sad news from the Nestle factory today as a man was crushed to death by hundreds of boxes of chocolate.

He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he yelled "The Milky Bars are on me!", people just cheered.

How does the worker of the curved edges factory feel about his job?

Pointless.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man that works in a pickle factory walked into his local pub after work wearing a hospital wristband. "Did you have an accident at work today?" the barkeep asked. "Yes, I put my penis in the pickle slicer," the man replied...

"Her husband caught us"

I was getting a bit overworked at the helicopter factory.

So they put me on rotas.

Working in a mirror factory

Is something I can totally see myself doing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man comes home to his wife from his job at a relish factory one day...

He has a confused, lost look on his face, so his wife asks what's wrong.

The man turns to her and says, "I've been having the strangest urge at work lately."

His wife, being the caring woman she is, asks "What is it."

The man sighs and says, "I keep wanting to put my dick in the...

Did you hear about the explosion at the Nissan factory?

It was raining Datsun cogs.

Why did the laziest person at the factory keep a cucumber in their pocket?

They wanted everyone to think they were working hard.

Young man fresh out of college gets a job at a factory

When he arrives he surprised that he is assigned as junior janitor. Shocked he asks for the manager who hired him. “Didn’t you read I have a double major in Social Science and Anthropology”

“Oh” says the man, “ I must have missed that. OK let me explain. Lift the mop up and put in the bucket,...

There was an accident at a furniture factory last week - a guy fell into the sofa reupholstery machine.

...he is completely recovered now.

Why did the garment factory owner refuse to make wallets?

He was too clothes-minded.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong-Un has reportedly made a public appearance after opening a fertiliser factory.

I smell bullshit.

When all this is over, I hope I can return to working at the mirror factory where I've worked for over fifteen years.

I really couldn't see myself doing anything else.

I used to work in a sausage factory

Until I backed into a grinder and got a little behind in my work.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 18 year old girl tells her mom she's missed her period...

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom
that she has missed her period for two
months. Very worried, the mother goes
to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy
kit. The test result shows that the girl is
pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the
mother says, "Who was the pig that did...

Did you hear about the accident at the milk noodle factory?

One of the workers fell into the machinery and they weren't able to stop it in time. He's unfortunately pasta whey.

I first met my now-wife during an internship in a superglue factory, we were involved in a spill accident.

It was a real bonding experience.

Father-To-Be

Four husbands are outside a maternity ward, waiting for the nurse to tell them about the babies their wives gave birth to.

The nurse walks up to the first man and says: Congratulations your wife gave birth to twins! The man says “What a coincidence because I work at a restaurant called 2 cit...

I onece visited the Heinz Beans factory

It was a very uncanny experience

There were once two people.

Eim and Ep.

One day, they came across a wizard. After a lot of bargaining, the wizard agreed to grant them each one wish. Ep requested a loving family. Ep was granted a rebellious teen daughter, a wife, and a young son. Eim requested ownership of a toy factory with elf workers that he will tr...

Why did the woodland creatures burn down the Hoover factory?

Because nature abhors a vacuum..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I work at a factory that turns organic waste into fence parts.

All I do for eight hours a day is make shit posts.

What do you call a quick video-conference at the Mazda factory?

A zoom-zoom zoom Zoom.

If you want a job in a moisturizer factory,

you should apply daily.

There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory.

Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer.

They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, "This should impress him!"

He showed his son a machine and said, "Son, this is the heart of the factory. With this machine here we can put in a pig...

A young woman gets her first job at the Tickle-me Elmo factory.

The boss takes her up to the office that overlooks the assembly line and tells her what her job is. Then he sends her down. About an hour later the line leader comes up to the office and says, “Boss you gotta get this new girl off my line. She’s killing production.”
The boss looks down out of his...

Why did the factory raising grizzlies for their hides not get shut down permanently by the court?

They had a right to bear farms.

I don't like my job at the fruit beverages factory.

But I got juiced to it.

What do you call a spy at a glue factory?

A bonding agent

My buddy told me to quit my job at the keyboard factory and become an astronaut

That way I can visit the Space Bar

What did the man say when he got lost in a cheese factory?

"Excuse me sir, can you show me the whey?"

The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory...

because she was fed up with the hole business.

If i’m the night guard at the Samsung factory, does that make me a…

Guardian of the galaxy?

Keyboard factory

used to work at a keyboard factory, and my sector was responsible for the making of the Key D; my job was to test whether the D key worked or not, so everyday I would sit and press the D key on different keyboards for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Eventually I had had enough and had to leave, the jo...

Did you hear about the bankrupt penny factory?

Makes no cents.

When I was a child I was forced to work in a German sausage factory.

It was the wurst experience of my life.

In all my years working at the Land Rover factory...

I made several discoveries

My cousin lost his job at the watch factory last week...

He just stood around all day, making faces.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy comes home from his job at the pickle factory

He says to his wife “i need to talk to you about something that happened at work”
Wife - “ok, what’s up?”
Husband - “well lately at work I’ve been having this compulsion, an almost uncontrollable need to put my penis in the pickle slicer.”
Wife - “ My god! Are you crazy? Don’t do it!”
H...

I'm not saying all factory workers are robots...

All I'm saying is when they get to work they've returned to their factory setting.

My friend got a job working at a vacuum cleaner factory.

He said the money is good but the job sucks.

Thank you. Thank you.

A Safety warning notice in a factory for female workers:

A Safety warning notice in a factory for female workers:
"If your skirt is long, stay away from the engines
and
If it is short, stay away from the engineers.

The worst part about working at the fire hydrant factory...

is that you couldn't park anywhere near the place.



(Credit: Steven Wright.)

If you work at a factory making kitchen work tops and you're very good at your job

Then ironically, you're being counter-productive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Got Fired from a Peanut Butter Factory

Damn Skippy.

A man worked his whole life at the pickle factory. One day he came home and informed his wife that he had been fired from his job.

She was in disbelief and near tears. "20 years of your life you gave them, and this is how they repay you!", she shouted, confused. "What happened, why were you laid off?"

"Well, for 20 years since I've worked there I've wanted to stick my pecker in the pickle slicer. Call it curiosity if you...

What do you call a priest that works at a milk factory?

A pastorizer

What do you call the guy who guards the bean factory?

Fiber Security.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The New Owner

A rich man bought a failing factory, and decided he was going to turn it around himself.

The first day the new owner grabs the factory foreman, and tells him he’s going to get some real progress out of these lazy workers. They walk out onto the factory floor and see a young man lounging up ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the manager at the dildo factory tell his staff?

If you build it... they will cum.

A Man Worked at a Gardening Factory

At this gardening factory, at the back, there was a large pile of dirt. All the employees were told they could have as much of this dirt as they wanted or needed.

This specific man would take on wheelbarrow of dirt out of the factory each day. The security guard began to get suspicious, think...

Guy goes on a tour at a condom factory.

He is amazed at how the latex is poured into a mold and cooled. Thousands of condoms are being made every minute! But he starts to notice that every 20th condom gets punctured. He asks the guide about it. Guide replies: “we also own a baby bottle company.”

I know a well-off foot fetishist, who took up a gig at a potato chip factory in his spare time.

When I asked him why, he says he heard "something about Free Toe Lays being one of the perks".

Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds later they come alight again,

well the other day there was a fire at the factory that makes them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill has worked in a pickle factory for several years

One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own.

A few weeks later, Bill returns home absolutely ashen.

Hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got fired from the keyboard factory yesterday

I wasn't putting in enough shifts, which I thought was some capital bullshit. They're such Ctrl freaks and now I need to find alternate work

Did y’all hear about the blonde that got fired from the M&M factory?

She kept throwing away all the Ws

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.