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I started to let Jesus take the wheel, but then I remembered...

that motherfucker ain’t afraid to die.

There are a few criminals in my town that keep stealing wheels from parked police cars.

The cops are working tirelessly to catch the suspects.

What has 4 wheels and flies?

A Garbage truck.

Three disabled stranded men

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, bu...

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian women and a girl in a wheel chair walk into a bar

They are celebrating being on the cover of a middle school math book

What do you call a sugar daddy in a wheel chair?

Meals on wheels

A pirate walks into a bar and has a steering wheel down his pants...

The bartender asks the pirate: "Isn't that annoying?"

The pirate responds: "Arrr it's driving me nuts!"

A man collapsed today whilst on the Ferris wheel...

Paramedics say he’s slowly coming round.

I’ve been looking for a car wash that does a thorough job cleaning wheels,

But whenever I google “Best Rimjob” I get sleepy and take a nap.

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Did you hear about the wooden car? It had a wooden engine, wooden wheels, a wooden chassis and a wooden gearbox...

And the fuckin' thing wooden even go.

My girlfriend broke up with me. So i took her wheel chair.

Guess who came crawling back.

To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camo jacket.

You can hide, but you can’t run.

I thought a man was taking the wheels off my Honda

Turns out he was doing it on his own accord

So, a pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel stuck to his crotch.

Bartender: "You know you got a ship's steering wheel attached to your crotch?"

Pirate: "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts!"

I took the HOV lane underground, when suddenly my hands started cramping on the steering wheel.

Must be my carpool tunnel syndrome.

I was out for a drive when the car suddenly started shuddering and the front wheel fell off.

I stopped and got out trying to figure out what the heck happened.
As I cross the front of the car I can see the tire is in the ditch by a fence that says, St Clements institute for the insane. I can plainly see that the lug nuts have all come off allowing the tire to falloff the car.
I quickl...

One pirate said to another, “Is that a steering wheel between your legs?”

The other pirate replied, “Aye, and it’s driving me nuts.”

Three men, exhausted from selling colored automobile wheels all day, decided to enter in a competition

Three men, exhausted from selling colored automobile wheels all day, decided to enter in a competition: who could render a knot out of a multi-colored suit-tie the fastest. They went on, waited in line, and eventually competed against each other, however in the end they all had the same time.
...

Why are so many Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars Fords?

So kids can get used to pushing them at an early age

I've heard a lot about how important 'the wheel' was for civilization

But I think it's time to recognize 'the shovel' for being the ground-breaking invention that it is.

The wheels on patrol car constantly end up falling off before I even make it back to the station. The boss asks if I’m working too hard

I said I’m working tirelessly.

What does a wheel wear

Attire

What’s green and has wheels?

Grass. I lied about the wheels.

A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel between his legs.

He says to the bartender, "ello mate, can I get a pint of bitter?" The bartender says "sure thing, but why is there a steering wheel between your legs?" The man says "No idea mate, but its driving me nuts."

A crusty, old pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender notices a giant ship's wheel protruding from his belt buckle.

As the bartender sets down the drink, his curiosity gets the better of him, so he says, "Hey, forgive me for staring, but I couldn't help but notice that giant ship's wheel on your crotch. What's that all about?"

To which the pirate replies, "Aye matey, 'tis no real mystery you see, but it's ...

To the man in a wheel chair who stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide, but you can't run. (Hopefuly you haven't seen this reposted, I just thought of it)

Tesla briefly investigated reusable bio engines made from plants. Wooden car body, wooden wheels and a wooden engine.

It wooden go.

What kind of clothing uses a wheel?

Atire.

What do you call a snowman on wheels?

A bICICLE





im so sorry...

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A witch put a curse on me and now my penis has a steering wheel

It drives me nuts

Jesus took the wheel

and sold it to Juan for some booze money.

As soon as all the wheels are replaced, my local police department is getting rid of a bunch of old squad cars they aren't using.

They're being retired

A guy walks into a bar with a steering wheel over his crotch.

The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the steering wheel?"

The man replies, "It's none of your business"

The bartender asks again, "Come on, tell me"

The man replies, "I told you it's none of your business"

The bartender pleads one more time, "You have to tell me whats wi...

Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel.

One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food & fire area. It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just watching.

Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders and they had a great idea! They could sit on top of the boulders a...

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An irish sailor with the steering wheel of a ship jammed into his crotch walks into a bar

He walks into the bar

The bartender approaches him worried and says to the sailor " What the fuck man is that a steering wheel?"

To wich the sailor replies "Aye lad, it's drivin me nuts"

How far does a car go with square wheels?

Four blocks.

Why is it wrong to bully people in wheel chair?

Because they can't stand up for themselves.

Wife Missing?

The first thing a grieving husband should do is CALL THE COPS!

Husband: "My wife of 15 years is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!"
Sheriff: "Height?"
Husband: "I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall."
Sheriff: "Weight?"
Husband: "Don't kn...

I’ve been driving for Uber/Lyft full time for a few months now and my wrists are starting to hurt from turning the steering wheel so much.

I think I’m getting Car Pool Tunnel

What has got one wheel but you have to give it back?

A wheelborrow.

I’ve seen so many jokes about wheels

At this point it’s just tire-ing

Jesus take the wheel

Carlos and Jose help me carry the sofa

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I saw a bloke at the beach with a steering wheel on his Willy

I said ‘mate, you know you’ve got a steering wheel on your knob’

He said ‘yeah, it’s driving me nuts’

The guy who built my bicycle wheels also does commercials for the shop.

He's a spokesperson.

So I saw a kid getting bullied at my school today...

I would've stood up for him, but I'm bound to a wheelchair.

You know why my Grandpa got new wheels on his car?

He retired.

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The naughtiest thing I ever did was have sex on a ferris wheel.

I really got around.

My crippled friend said he wanted hot wheels for his birthday

So I lit his wheelchair on fire

If a plane tries to land but can't deploy its wheels, what sound does it make when it bounces off the ground?

Boeing

Whoever invented wheel,...

... started a revolution.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to the front of his pants...

The barkeep says "I have no problem serving pirates, but I gotta ask...what's with the steering wheel?"

The pirate looks at him and says "Arr, it be drivin me nuts..."

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F*cking Audi four wheel drive!

It was a snowy wednesday evening. Snow had fallen for a couple of days, and the roads were treacherous.

A man walks into a bar, and while passing through the door he loudly clears his throat and spits in the corner, followed by a mumbled "Fucking Audi four wheel drive!".

He sits down, ...

What do you call two people in a wheel chair?

A pair of plegics.

I met a girl online that was in a wheel chair.

We agreed to meet up for drinks but she stood me up.

I really wish this wasn't a true story.

What does it mean when you have wheels and a country girl wants you?

It means you *a tractor*

You know times are tough when you see a millenial playing Wheel Of Fortune

And they have to rent an 'A'.

Bicycle jokes won't impress you

But a unicycle one wheel

Did you hear about the millennial on Wheel of Fortune?

He tried to rent a vowel.

I used to have a full size wooden car. Wooden wheels, wooden engine, wooden seats.

BUT, when I tried to drive it, it wooden go.


Credit : u/johnnycrosshatch

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A Mexican man cannot find work and finally heads home for the evening.

On his way home, he finds a cross at the bottom of a hill. So he kneels and prays to God, "Please God, let me find a way to feed my family".


At the top of this hill, a black man was walking home from grocery shopping when the bottom of his bag gave out and a cheese wheel rolled straight ...

I had a dream I was a wheel

I woke up tired

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