If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced

"BOOM"



I hope that blew your minds

What did the reddit user say after detonating a bomb inside a bank?

EDIT: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!

Did you hear about the terrorist who strapped bombs loaded with Coronavirus to his chest?

He blew up and went viral.

Why wont ISIS bomb my local Walmart?

...because its not a Target.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced

"BOOM"

I hope that blew your minds

How do you defuse a time bomb?

Help i need answers really qui

Where did sally go during the bombing?

Everywhere

I tried to make a living as a comedian, but I constantly bombed every sets.

So I joined Al Qaeda instead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Job Interview

A guy goes into the US postal service to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"OK, have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour."

Th...

Why can't you trust a duck with bomb defusal?

They quack under pressure.

What do you call a fruit with bomb?

POMOGRENADE

I like my coffee how I like bombs

Arabic

Scientists have invented a bomb that explodes when the temperature hits absolute zero

It's called the "0K Boomer".

Suicide Bombing School

Imagine a school where suicide bombing Is being taught, the teachers would say to the students.
.
Please, pay attention, I'm only going to do this once!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jewish man and a Chinese man are in a bar...

A Jewish man and a Chinese man are in a bar. Suddenly, the Jewish man punches the Chinese man in the face.

"Ow! Why did you do that?" asks he Chinese man.

"That's for Pearl Harbor," says the Jewish man.

"But the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. I'm Chinese!" says the Chinese man....

There is a ticking time bomb...

what did you expect this to blow up?

I asked an EOD guy about the stress of bomb defusing.

He shrugged and said: "Its not. I'm either right or suddenly its not my problem any more."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone just shoved a bomb into a bull's ass.

Just abominable.

“You’re the bomb!” “No, you’re the bomb!”

In America, a compliment.

In the Middle East, an argument.

There was three guys and they decided to chuck something out of an aeroplane. The first guy dropped out a dagger. The second guy dropped out a boulder and the third guy dropped out a bomb. The first guy went home and he saw his dad crying in the yard and he asked his dad “what’s wrong?”

The dad says “a dagger fell out of the sky and hit my wife on the head and now she’s dead.

The second guy went home and it’s the same story, he asks his dad “what’s wrong?”

“A boulder fell out of the sky and hit my wife in the head and now she’s dead”

The third guy got home, a...

What did the explosives specialist say when he was about to hit the switch on his first bomb?

Please let this blow up

If the ISIS decided to suicide bomb in Hawaii

will they shout "allahu akbar" or "aloha akbar?

What did the bullet say to the bomb?

OK Boomer.

Where'd Sally go when the bomb went off?

In her pants.

Did you hear about the guy selling bombs disguised as prayer mats?

Prophets were going through the roof

What are bombing instructors in Jihad camps getting tired of hearing?

"Ok Boomer"

How many super sayians does it take to skrew in a lightbulb?

Just one but it takes 54 episodes, 2 failed spirit bombs, Killins death and an exploding planet and will be continued next time...

Why did Oppenheimer invent the atomic bomb?

Because he wanted the world to lighten up.

My grandpa survived both the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings.

Being in Australia helped.

I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making

by making you an otter you can't defuse.

I bought this old Russian car from a guy down the street from me... Little did I know it was fitted with a bomb and warning sound.

The explosion was like Lada-bing, Lada-Boom.

The terrorist behind the underwear bomb died today.

Which is good. Because no one likes a guy who goes off in his pants.

I make bombs for a living

Business is booming

I was going to make a joke about a defective bomb.

But it probably won't blow up.

What do you get when you drop a nuclear bomb over Paris?

French fries.

What's the difference between 9/11 and the Oklahoma City Bombings?

Once again, foreigners can do it better, cheaper, and more efficiently.

Did you hear about that new terrorist movie?

It was a box office bomb

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you ever learn about how the WWII Kamikaze pilots were chosen?

The bombing of Pear Harbor had been planned out a year in advance.

Until Japan put the plan into action they held studies on their pilots and soldiers

After some psychological tests they found the troops that were suicidal and were hoping being in war would get them killed

And ...

I didn't know whether a small bomb belonged to me or my infant son who harvests coal for a living. So I asked:

"Is this minor mine mine or my minor miner's?"

I had to put a bomb inside a bull today. So I guess you could say he’s

__*Abominable..*__

Teacher: What comes before 10?

Student: I have a bomb

I'm trying to convince my cousin not to bring a bomb to school.

He thinks it'd be a real blast.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American walks into a Belfast pub

Walks up to the counter and asks for an 'Irish car bomb'

Barman pours two tall shots of sambuca and lights them on fire and pushed them to the American who looks at him confused and says 'This isn't an Irish car bomb?'

Barman says 'No, its two towers, now fuck off'

When it comes to atomic bombs

You have to go double or nothing

Why did the statistician take a bomb on a plane?

Because the odds of there being 2 bombs on the plane was practically 0

Do you know why you should always bring a bomb in your hand luggage when you’re flying?

Because the chances of one person bringing a bomb, is very low.
But the chances of two people bringing a bomb, is almost impossible.

I tried posting a joke about a malfunctioning bomb earlier

But it never blew up

Remember, if a Communist is blowing up something, it is not your bomb or my bomb

it Tsar bomb

Airport security agents do a great job preventing people smuggling bombs on their heads...

You've got to take your hat off to them.

That'll do it

After having their 11th child, a redneck couple decided that was enough. They could not afford a larger house so the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/ cousin didn’t want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a proce...

A mathematician is afraid of flying due to small risk of a terrorist attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with him in his hand luggage.

“The probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

A man is driving along a country road and sees a sign; "$5 for talking dog, take next left."

Thinking this is some sort of joke, the man decides to check it out. So the man takes the left onto a a farm, and a farmer comes out.

F: You here about the dog?

M: Yeah, does the dog really talk?

F: Sure does, come here and I'll show ya.

The man and the farmer walk to the...

If you activate a bomb, how do you deactivate it?

Quick answers please.

An explosives expert liked to blow up bombs beside the city's underground septic lines. One day, while planting a device, he made a fatal mistake...

The newspapers called him a sewer side bomber.

What did the French terrorist say to his departing friend?

Bomb voyage.

A reporter visits Afghanistan,

A reporter visits Afghanistan to report on a recent bombing. On her way to the bomb-site, she sees the women walking ten steps behind the men. Enraged, the reporter asks her translator why the women are walking 10 steps behind. The translator replies, “It is because women are considered 2nd class ci...

My wife said she wanted new kitchen appliances or some new bath bombs for our anniversary.

I compromised and bought her a toaster.

The odds of getting on a plane with a bomb on it are 950,000 to one -

The odds of getting on a plane with two bombs on it are closer to 700,000,000 to one So, to be safe, I always bring my own bomb.

S. W.

The military has announced they are going to bomb Syria off the map.

They are naming the bombs "Son of Sam" and "Jack the Ripper."

They're Syria killers.

You might not expect it, but suicide bombing is fun!

C4 yourself.

The aircraft carrier captain saw a light

"Tell the signalman to warn that boat to turn to port to avoid a collision."

But the light flashes back "*YOU* turn to port to avoid a collision."

The captain, incensed, sends the message "This is a 200 kiloton aircraft carrier with 50 war planes, atomic bombs and cruise missiles! ...

As a colour blind bomb technician

You only defuse a bomb once

what does it feel like to join a suicide bomb squad?

I don't know, you'll have to C4 yourself!

A Redditor is trying to make a bomb in their garage, but it wont detonate so they decide to make some changes

Edit: wow this blew up

My girlfriend is the star of the local police department’s bomb squad.

When asked what is her secret to such skilled techniques, she responded:

“Plenty of practice every night with a short fuse and explosions that go off early.”

"Now cut the red wire to defuse the bomb, sir" said the defusing expert calmly to me over the phone

What an explosive way to find out you're colourblind.

[BREAKING NEWS] A bomb has just exploded in a Paris cheese shop.

Eyewitnesses report there is currently de Brie all over the place.

Did you hear about the failed Canadian plot to bomb Mexico with a nuclear missile?

It went south fast.

What do you call a French conqueror who stands too close to a bomb?

Napoleon Blown-apart

Bad part about being a bomb disposal technician.....

It takes me 6 hours to open my Christmas presents.

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