My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up."

"Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."

So there's this one kid at a costume party and the host ask what he was dressed up as. The kid told him that he dressed up as a harp, and the host told him that his costume is too small to be a harp.

The kid then said, "Are you calling me a lyre?"

Someone told me that I care too much of what others think

What do you think?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know too much sex can cause memory loss

I read that in a medical journal on page 34 at 3:23 pm last year on Wednesday November the 7th.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jerked off too fast and lost my grip

It's getting out of hand.

Trump didn't do too well with Trump University....

And he's not looking good at Electoral College either.

This is a joke we tell in Armenian, I think it comes out well in English too.

Little Johnny is in school one day when his teacher tells the class that she wants to hear each of them say a little about their families, and specifically what is needed in their lives.

The first student is a little girl, she stands up and says "my family is mostly happy but what we really n...

One day God visits St. Peter at the pearly gates and tells him heaven is too crowded and to not let so many people in and gives St Peter a quota for each day.

Later that day 3 men approach looking for entrance into heaven. Peter turns to the men and tells them that only 1 of them is able to enter into heaven. To decide which one gets in he asks them how they died. He tells them that the man with the best death story will get into heaven.

The first ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Election and Erection are almost spelled the same. They both mean the same thing too.

A dick rising to power

Not too sure I got the job....

Interview I had for a job:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Interpreting semantics of a question,
but ignoring the pragmatics."
"Could you give an example?"
"Yes, I could."

My 8 year old claims to have just made this up and it made me chuckle. I hope you enjoy too. What is your mouth’s favorite exercise?

What is your mouth’s favorite exercise?

Burpees

My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games

What a ridiculous thing to fallout 4

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW Dylan, a Welsh farmer who'd had a few too many headed to the pub's men's room when nature called.....

While standing at the urinal trough he suddenly had a puzzled look on his face. He quickly finished his business and ran out to speak to the bartender. Leaning in close he whispered to the bartender:

"I know I'm pretty drunk, but I swear I saw a black guy with a white dick in the bathroom! Hu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the dirtiest or sexiest joke you have ever heard?

Not the dirtiest but I laughed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there are not enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the n...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In mediaeval England a man was once executed because his penis was too big.

He was hung

A thief stole a sine and a cosine... He took the two identities to a beach. However, they were too heavy for him to carry.

He wanted to keep them under the sand, but the beach was so narrow that it could only contain one of them: sine or cosine. He decided that, using his mathematical skills, that he would stack sine over cosine - but that resulted in tan! He did not want to get tan. So he stacked cosine over sine... <...

What do you call a Subway manager who spends too much time helping make sandwiches up front and not enough time back in the office attending to business matters?

Counter productive.

My husband commented on the new store that is being built nearby: “That’s a nice looking Aldi!”

I told him it just looks like Aldi others.

...

Sorry y’all. It’s been such a bad day, and this little exchange my hubby and I had earlier had us both laughing probably more than we should have. Hope it makes one of you out there smile too.

Call me a luddite, but I feel the need to be vigilant about having too many connected devices.

Google accessing biometrics via wrist wear? Not on my watch.

I've seen a lot of you getting the funniest jokes from your kids, so I tried asking my lil sister to give me one too

She told me to look into the mirror

My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.

Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.

Some people are way too judgemental

I can tell just by looking at them

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led h...

My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology.

I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I put way too much cheese in my omelet this morning...

I needed to take a brie-ther afterwards.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high

She looked surprised

What do you call a mouse who drank too much coffee?

A wired mouse!

A while ago, my friend told me to not listen to music too loud.

Haven’t heard from that guy since.

My friends keep telling me that Joe is too old to be president

Well I’m sure he could’ve run years ago, but he’s been Biden his time

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“Doc, I think my son has gonorrhea,” a patient told his urologist on the phone. “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.”

“OK, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the doc soothed. “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.”

“But, Doc, I’ve been screwing the maid, too, and I’ve got the same symptoms he has.”

“Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor.
...

What material should you avoid using because it will make clothing too light?

fiber optics

My car got too tired

It died of EXHAUSTion

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lad was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.

She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 180mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 180, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thro...

Too lazy for a title

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness

But if you find one let me know

I tried changing my password to "brazildefense" but Reddit said it was too weak

hoep you find it funny!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus.

They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He aske...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s been alleged that I’ve written a series of tweets about the song “I’m Too Sexy”.

I’d like to reassure my followers that I did not write said thread...

A local copper was walking through his quiet English village when he spots a red Ferrari coming through just a little bit too fast. He steps out into the road, stops the car, and walks up to the driver's window.

"Going a bit fast there, don't you think?"

"This road is the b35 so I was going 35mph." Replies the driver.

The copper shakes his head at the driver's stupidity. "That's not how it works, son. It's tight bends and small single lanes for miles around here, 30mph maximum." The copper the...

I was going out with a girl, and she told me I was shy and moving too slow. I said...

"Meet me by the rock pile tonight. I'll be a little bolder."

A maid decided it was time to demand a raise, so she went directly to the Lady of the house's private study

Maid: "I'd like a raise."

Mrs. Smith:"Why do you think you deserve a raise?

Maid:"Three reasons. First, I can cook better than you."

Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"

Maid:"Your husband. Second, I clean better than you."

Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"

Maid:"Y...

My girlfriend said I spend too much time on the internet and not enough on her...

she's all "meme meme meme"

I need to tell my girlfriend she's using way too much teeth when she goes down on me, but I don't want to hurt her feelings.

How do I soften the blow?

A lot of people have been making money off face mask in fact I have too.

Because they’re not expecting me to rob the place.

I had too much Middle Eastern food today.

Now I falafel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was standin next to this bloke in the changing room at my local gym yesterday when a mobile phone rings.

He was getting dry so he puts it on loudspeaker. I thought straightaway wot a smug bastard!

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the gym?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the Metro Centre now and found this beautiful leather coat.

It' s only £1,000. Is it OK ...

If I had a dollar for every girl that thought I looked too fat,

By now, they’d think I looked pretty good.

America won the war against COVID the same way they won the war against Vietnam

It got too expensive and they just declared it was over.

The hospital taking too long to get a new cornea for my SO.

I need to find a faster wife-eye provider.

Far too many trees suffer from little dog syndrome

All bark and no bite

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich...

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says… “Hang on! You're a duck!”

"I see your eyes are working.” replies the duck.

"And you can talk!!” exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too.” says the duck. "Now if...

Q: What do you call a guy who’s had too much to drink?

A cab.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?

A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?

"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.

When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.

When her daughters g...

I have a Toyota Highlander. My wife said she wanted one too.

I told her no. In the end, there can be only one.

A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 18 y/o daughter.

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the cake.

"Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said.

So the father visited a ton of different bakeries a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.

Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor, "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about m...

A state trooper pulled over a guy for going too slow on the freeway and having too many flags on His car.... As soon as the officer walked to the car the questioning begun:

Who are You? What is Your name? Do you speak english? You look illegal to Me are You legal? Where did You come from?........

Ok first of all My name is officer Gonzales and I am supposed to be doing the questions.

So a politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

‟So, you’re a politician...”
‟Well, yes, is that a problem?”
‟Oh no, no problem. But we have recently adopted a new system for people in your line of wo...

A 70-year-old woman chose to remain overnight in a costly hotel as a treat for her birthday.

The following morning, she was appalled when the desk clerk gave her a bill for $250.00. She requested to know why the charge was too high.

"It's a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn't even have breakfast," she told the clerk.

...

I mixed too much laxative into my alphabet soup...

...I got verbal diarrhea

My cheese was too kinky

It wanted to be de-grated.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I broke up with my girlfriend because she screamed too much during sex

Sometimes I could hear it two blocks away

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jim Bob stays out too late

Jim Bob stays out drinking.

Jim Bob went to a bar after work and time got away from him. He stayed out too late and began to panic because his wife was going to be furious. Jim Bob became so nervous he vomited all over his shirt.

“Oh No! I’ve really done it now!” Jim Bob exclaimed in ...

I always thought a brain transplant was far too risky.

Then I changed my mind...

I was too late to the cannibal buffet

They just gave me the cold shoulder

"Bigamy" is defined as having one wife too many...

Some people define "marriage" the same way.

A man drives a train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder

So, he’s on death row and the executioner approaches him.

“What would you like for your last meal?”

“I would like a banana please.”

The executioner thinks it’s weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits a while, and gets strapped into the electric c...

Russia has too many time zones

Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones. -"Why"? Putin asks

" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, - I woke you up at 4AM in the morning, but I thought it was only evening, - I call Angela Merkel to congratulat...

Why don't you see too many short jokes about wedding cakes?

There are too many layers to it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Dad always used to tell me that too much masturbation makes you go blind.

If only he could see me now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two 90-year-old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.

When it’s clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.

One day Mike says,

“Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played football on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s football...

Too soon?

Why do muslims extremists drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the french press

This 4th of July, the British should celebrate Independence Day too.

Now they feel like they dodged a bullet.

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says “I’ll take a glass of H2O.” The second says “I’ll take a glass of H2O too.”

*Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water.*

What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?

A toasty ghosty

A French, a German and an Italian spy are captured one day.

The captors grab the French spy, take him to the next room and tie his hands behind a chair.They then proceed to torture him for 2 hours before he finally cracks, answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets.

The captors then grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair i...

It was on this day in 1978 that cult leader Jim Jones carried out a mass murder/suicide of over 900 of his followers in Jonestown, Guyana. Horrifying. There's a joke about it but it's wildly innappriopriate.

And anyway, the punchline's too long.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I
decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was
an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suici...

A plane climbs too high and passes by heaven.

The pilot gets on the loudspeaker and tells the cabin that if they look to their right, they'll see the pearly gates and the shining city beyond.

The passengers marvel at the sight, but one man spots his daughter who died from cancer the previous month. He rushes to the emergency exit, where ...

Did you hear about the guy who passed away because he consumed too much food coloring?

He dyed.

What do you call it when you put out pumpkins too early and they die before Halloween?

Premature E-Jack-O-Lantern

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady went to a Doctor and complained that her husband's penis is too long.

She said, "Whenever he inserts it in my pussy it's so long that it touches my heart"
_The Doctor replied, "Okay, bring him, I'll operate it and make it smaller." 
_The lady shouted; "No way,!! I came to see if you could shift my heart up a little bit "..

I guess my girlfriend doesn't like it when I use too many abbreviations.

She got pretty mad at me today for referring to her Bible Study as BS.

I tried donating blood today. Never again!!

Too many stupid questions. Whose blood is it? Where did you get it from?? Why is it in a bucket???

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So my mate and I were doing this pub quiz and he'd had a couple of drinks too many

and he was just at that state where he thought it was funny to buzz in on every question and answer "*My Dick!!*".

The quizmaster asks "What is the largest organ in the human body?"

***BUZZ!***

and we're waiting for it, and my mate calmly answers "The skin".

Which is of c...

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too arrogant.

Then I think to myself “There’s no way. I’m too good for that.”

Too dangerous

There *used* to be a street called "Chuck Norris".



They had to build a bridge, and finally rename the street. No one crossed Chuck Norris and lived.

My girlfriend broke up with me for being too delusional.

But I don't think that I have that problem, right giant cabbage?

My wife says I make assumptions too much

But I think she’s just being ignorant

Guys biggest fear.... Too soon.

Girls biggest fear.... Late.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

"We're taking United” was the reply. "We got a great rate!”

“United?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with a 25 inch penis could not get any girl to sleep with him because his penis was too large...

so he decided to go to the most famous doctor in the world to get some help.

The man asked “Doctor, is there anything you can give me to make my penis smaller?” The doctor said “No, but I think a surgeon might be able to help you with your problem.”

So the man decided to go to the mo...

What did the shop owner say when he accidentally ordered too much chocolate and marshmallows?

We've got a rocky road ahead of us...

The Presidential Election will never bring a satisfactory conclusion, there’s no flow it’s just one candidate that changes the subject constantly,while the other can’t perform for too long

we truly have Electile Dysfunction

In France, we have Karens too

They are called "American tourists".

Whenever my young son cries too much,

I show him his birth video in reverse and telling him that's what happens to kids who don't stop crying.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My plastic surgeon thinks his new girlfriend's pussy is too tight.

But he really likes her so he's going to cut her some slack.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer buys a young cock

As soon as he gets home it fucks all of his 150 hens.
The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all 150 hens.

Next day it's fucking the ducks and the geese too. Sadly, later in the day the farmer finds the cock lying on the ground half-dead and vultures circling over its hea...

How do you know when your girlfriend is getting too fat?

She fits into your wife's clothes.

A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500

A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500.

So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is walking in the street and sees a women with the most beautiful breasts he’s ever seen.

He walks up to her and asks: “If I give you 10’000$, will you let me bite your boob?”
The woman, quite shocked, obviously says no.
The man then asks if he can bite her breast for 100’000$. The woman still says no. The man asks for 1’000’000$, 10’000’000$ and 100’000’000$ but the woman still re...

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 of the most expensive whiskey shots

The bartender lines 12 up shot glasses and fills them up.

The man quickly downs all 12 of them back to back and taps the bar, “again.”

The bartender looks a little confused, but lines of 12 more shots.

The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, “again.”

The bart...

Why does everyone always drink too much at tree weddings?

Because seeing family reminds them of their roots

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two recently married men go to a drink. One of them tells he has a problem, that his new wife is too dominant in bed.

The second man tells: You are very lucky, every man would want to be in your position.

First man: You do not understand I can barely sleep 2 hours each night.

Second man: I do not see any problem with that, you are a very fortunate man.

First man: No, you still do not understan...

My spinster aunt thinks that statues of Jesus on the crucifix in only a loincloth is too revealing, so she has started covering them in appropriate clothing.

...aparently, she's a cross-dresser now.

My wife left me because she says I’m too obsessed with football.

Oh well, we had 5 good seasons together.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar

orders a drink. Downs it really quickly. Orders another. Downs that one too.

The bartender says “Hey, buddy, are you okay?”

The man says “No, honestly, I’m not. I wanted to surprise my wife, and… I caught her in bed with another man.”

The bartender says “Oh, man, that’s awful! W...

"Barkeep, why are there pills glued to the top of the bar seating?" "Oh, some people complained that our seats were too hard. Those are stool softeners."

"And, cushions would have rectal the loose vibes we work so hard to cultivate."

A guy asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?" The girl replied with a loud voice: "NO! I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the students in the library started looking at the guy; he was pretty embarrassed. After a while the girl walked quietly over to the

guy's table and said: "I study psychology, I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?" The guy then responded with a loud voice: "$1000 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S TOO MUCH!" All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. The guy whispered "I guess you felt bad for wha...

Passwords NSFW

"Sorry, your password has been in use for 90 days and has expired - you must register a new one."

roses

"Sorry, too few characters."

pretty roses

"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character."

1 pretty rose

"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." ...

I hate guys who are too overconfident..

I really do.

Edit: Thanks for the silver!

Edit: Thanks for the gold!

Edit: Thanks for the platinum!

What do you call it when someone puts on too much perfume?

Eauverload.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer wakes up to find that his favourite goat has died.

Since he loved that goat very deeply, he decided to jump into the river by his house and commit suicide. Soon after, his wife woke up, and after discovering what had happened, she too followed in his steps and jumped into the river.

Their younger son woke up to find both of his parents dead,...

One day, Pete complained to his friend, “My head really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.”

His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply tell it the problem, put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose it and tell you what you can do about the issue you’re having. It only costs $...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A marine general, an army general, and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men...

The army general says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!"

The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?"

The general says, "See that man over there? Kill him!"

Without hesitating, the private kills the man.

The gener...

I accidentally bought too many art supplies

I'm having an excess stencil crisis.

My girlfriend tried to take a selfie in the shower, but it was too blurry.

She has selfie steam issues.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy in a bar bets the bartender $50 that he can lick his eyeball

The bartender agrees

The man takes his glass eye out, and bites it

The bartender angrily gives the man his money

The man bets the bartender $500 dollars that he can bite his other eyeball too

The bartender agrees to the bet, because the man was not blind

The man pu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man calls his girlfriend into his room for the first time

He says, "I have a problem with my penis, but you have to promise not to laugh"

She promises not to.

He shows her his penis. Its so small, she loses her calm and starts laughing so hard she falls down.

The man is now angry at her because she said that she wouldn't laugh at it. S...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Blonde vs Traffic cop who will win?

Traffic cop stops a blonde that sped by him. He asked her for her license, and she replied by asking: "What is a license?" He explained that a license is a square thing with your face of it. The blone ruffles around in her purse for a while, pulls out a small mirror and gives it to the traffic cop. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

‟Hurry!” she said. ‟Stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. ‟Do not move until I tell you to,” she whispered. ‟Just pretend you are a statue.”

‟What‘s this, honey?” the husband inquired as he entered the room.

‟Oh, ...

What happened when Sin and Cos stayed out in the sun for too long?

They both became tanned gents!

Common English Mistakes

Common English Mistakes

-mixing up there, their, and they're

-using the wrong too, to, or two

-putting commas in the wrong place

-enslaving innocent people and stealing their riches

-using apostrophes for plurals

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" a son asks his father.

The surprised father answers, “Well, sonny, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler could've been better with his paintings.

Too bad he didn't believe in mixing colours.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A married couple was in a terrible accident...

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they could not graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist says I’m too paranoid

He didn’t really say that, but I know he was thinking it.

I asked my wife, “I’m stuck on this crossword clue “Overworked Postman”— can you help?”

She said, “Sure. How many letters?”

Me: I’m guessing—- Too many.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend told me I talk about shit way too often

After realizing he was right, I told him that I do do that

Two men walk into a bar. One man orders H2O. The other says,"I'll have H2O, too."

The second man dies.



That's why you shouldn't repost.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.