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A traveling salesman employs a man with a stutter to sell toothbrushes...

His expectations are low for this guy, so he gives him a couple dozen toothbrushes to sell, expecting him to flop out.

To his surprise, the man returns in an hour with all the money. "S-s-sold then a-all!", he says.

The salesman chalks it up to beginners luck, and hands the stutterin...

I didn’t know I had to actually put my electric toothbrush in my mouth!?!

I thought it was Bluetooth.

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Last week, after a one night stand with a woman, she had the gall to get up and use my toothbrush without even asking first. I told her, "That's disgusting!" She replied, "Well, we just had sex, so what's the big difference?"

I answered, "The difference is, I was gonna use the toothbrush again."

The toothbrush had to have been invented in Alabama.

Because if it were invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.

A filthy toothbrush..

One day the toothbrush had enough of it and said “damn, I have the filthiest job in the whole wide world”. The toilet paper replied: “ you sure?”.

Broken Lawnmower

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her...

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I had a one night stand, and afterwards she used my toothbrush

I made kind of a big deal about it, because that’s pretty gross

She said, “Well we just had sex, what’s the difference?”

I said, “*Well* I was planning on using that toothbrush again”

Every 3 months buying new toothbrushes is expensive!

I have 32 teeth to buy toothbrushes for, I wish someone would invent a teethbrush!

Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand?

Because a toothbrush works better.

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A man named Melvin works for a toothbrush company.

Year after year, he can repeatedly sell the most toothbrushes out of everyone who works for the company, at least tripling the the amount of sales the guy trailing him has made. No one knows how he does it.

One day, Melvin's boss calls him into his office.

"What is it, boss?" Melvin as...

I just realised my new electric toothbrush is not waterproof

I was shocked.

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TIL that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia...

otherwise it would have been called the teethbrush.

A toothbrush journey in India

Very real story...,,

A Dentist was conducting a global survey-
*"How long do you use your Toothbrush...?"*

Chinese:
"3 months...!"

American:
"1 month...!!"

Indian:
"There is no fixed time limit doctor, it may be years...!!! Initially we use it for *brushing* ...

What did the Alabama Alligator say to the teacher when asked why people were so mean?

Momma says Alabamans are ornery because they have all them toothbrushes and no teeth

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Selling Toothbrushes. Source: My Dad

(Long)
One day a man was walking down the street when he sees a kid on the corner selling tooth brushes. The kid asks him, "Hey sir would you like to buy a toothbrush?"
The man says, "I would except I already have one at home. I don't need one right now but do you want a tip to help...

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My wife always complains when I use her toothbrush

If somebody can tell me of a better way of getting shit stains off the back of the toilet bowl I'm all ears.


-Jimmy Carr

I visited the birthplace of the man who invented the toothbrush today

There's no plaque

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What’s the best toothbrush for prostitutes?

Oral D

A man is walking a toothbrush

A man is walking a toothbrush down the street, as if it were a dog, with a leash and everything.

As he walks by, people look at him oddly, talking to each other, since it seems the man is clearly insane.

One woman approaches him: "Excuse me sir, you know you're walking a toothbrush rig...

If I had a medal for every time I've gotten to the two minute timer on my electric toothbrush...

I still wouldn't have enough metal for all the damn cavities.

All these jokes about Alabama but no one acknowledges their contributions, like inventing the toothbrush

At least I think it was Alabama. Anywhere else they’d have called it a teethbrush.

I finally bought an electric toothbrush

In these days, I couldn’t keep my diesel driven one

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My wife is just like her toothbrush.

On my ass every day for no good reason.

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The Toothbrush Salesman.

One day, a man with a lisp named Joseph walks into a toothbrush factory. Down on his luck and very desperate, he asks to speak to the manager of the facility, about getting a job as a toothbrush salesman. The manager walks out, and greets Joseph. “Hi there thir, my names Jotheph, and I was curiouth ...

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After 6+ years of me and my wife being together, she still gets mad whenever i use her toothbrush

So if anyone knows another way to remove dogshit from my sneakers id be happy to hear it

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I was in the supermarket the other day and there was a girl in front of me at the checkout, she had one apple, one pear, one toothbrush, one cup o noodle, and one can of soup.

I leaned over and said, "You're single arent you.."

She says, "Yes, but how did you know?"

I said, "Because you're ugly as fuck!"

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A joke my 9 year old made up: How do you get poop on your sister's forehead?

With dad's toothbrush

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A bunch of thieves broke into my house and stole everything except my soap, shower gel, towels, toothbrush and deodorant.

Dirty bastards

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So a toothbrush salesman is down on his luck

He goes into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender gives him a shot and asks "What's wrong buddy? You look like the world is about to collapse."
"Well my friend,(the salesman slowly take his shot, stares at the empty glass and replies) I'm a toothbrush salesman and I haven't made a sale in over...

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4 years ago today, I shared the worst joke I ever created. Here it is again for those that missed it.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to g...

How to Sell a Toothbrush

The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes.

He replied “It’s easy” and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top.

He told his boss, I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chi...

I don't mind using my roommates toothbrush

I mean would you rather be ruthless or toothless

Did you hear Oral-B and Queen Latifah are making a toothbrush together?

It’s called clean-ya-teefah!

My dad bought me a Sonicare toothbrush

I guess he just wanted me to know.

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How to sell toothbrushes

Monday at school, the teacher lined up all the students and had them present their weekend homework: their assignment was to sell something and give a presentation on effective salesmanship.

Sally was up first. "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30. My sales approach was to appeal to peop...

Accidentally used my wife's electric toothbrush...

I don't remember her eating fish for lunch.

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What's the difference between a penis and a toothbrush?

If you clicked because you didn't know, let me know next time you brush your teeth.

You can't break an electric toothbrush

If it stops working, it becomes a toothbrush.

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The Toothbrush Salesman

A guy loses his job and is really down on his luck. He searches everywhere, but can't seem to find any work.

After a few weeks he see's a classified in the newspaper looking for a salesman. He applies and is scheduled for an interview.

When he gets to the interview, he meets his pote...

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That's how the fight got started...

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I ...

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Toothbrush (Long)

3 men apply for a sales job at toothbrush company. The first day the manger send them out for their first try at selling toothbrushes.
At the end of the day they come back and report in:
Manager, “how many did you sell?
First guy, “I sold 42.”
Manager, “Not bad”
Second guy, “I sold 86...

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The Toothbrush Salesman

A man had recently lost his job when he saw an ad in the local paper for a position selling toothbrushes. He went to the address and met with the boss. The boss liked him and decided to give him a shot.

“We’ll start you out with 10 toothbrushes” said the boss. “Once you sell those, come bac...

I needed to buy a new toothbrush

but they were all out of Reach

How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?

If it had been invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush.

What's the latest invention to come out of the UA engineering program? A solar-powered flashlight.

How can you tell if someone's a UA graduate? Look at the ring while they're picking their nose.

Why are crim...

My Uncle Benny Always used to Say, "If you like a girl you should buy her a Toothbrush..."

"Because then every time she puts it in her mouth, she'll think of you."

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What did the horny toothbrush say to it's partner...

I want some Oral, B

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Irish exchange student

I was volunteering in my sons 1st grade class. During their vocabulary session the teacher begins her lesson with the word Contagious.

So the teacher asks, “can anyone use the word contagious in a sentence?”

And of course, there is a little girl in the front who raises her hand. “The ...

What’s long and hard, and hairy at one end?

A toothbrush.

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A toothbrush salesman at the mall

A toothbrush salesman is tasked with selling his product at the mall.
So he sets up a small kiosk by the escalator with a bag of chips and cup of dip.
A man and his wife walk up and the wife eats a chip and remarks about how good it is.
The salesman says "you really must try the dip"
And...

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The Toothbrush Salemen

Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. The other two guys are jealous, but they can't figure out his secret. Then, one day, they run into him at the mall, where he's set up ...

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My girlfriend and I have an intimate relationship, but she got upset when I was using her toothbrush.

So I just said 'Hey, if YOU have a better way to get dogshit out of sneakers...'

What is about 6 inches long, hard, hairy at the base and is pushed into a moist opening where it is quickly moved back and forth?

A toothbrush

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Why Men Are Happier

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will e...

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There are three guys looking for a job

They come across this toothbrush seller, they ask for a job and end up getting it. Their employer tells them “ok all you guys need to do is walk around town and sell as many toothbrushes as you can, then once the days over you come back to me and tell how many you sold”, so they each get a box of to...

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I was taking a leak and used my stream to kill a fly

Better be the last time I see one of those bastards on my rommate’s toothbrush

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Becoming a Nazi

A 5 year old Jewish boy wanted to see what it was like to be a Nazi soldier so he dyed his hair blonde, put on a toothbrush mustache, and wore a red armband with a hand-drawn black swastika. He goes to his mother, “Look mama, I’m a Nazi!” and she punches him in the face. Then he goes to his father a...

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Having had extremely bad breath for most of his adult life, and having tried every possible over the counter mouthwash and toothpaste, Larry finally decides to go see a Doctor.

The Doctor examines Larry, takes samples of his saliva, tooth plaque and does a tongue swab. He asks Larry to return Tuesday for the test results.

Tuesday Larry is sitting in the Doctor's office, hopeful for a cure.

"Larry", says the Doc, "Your breath could knock a buzzard off a shit ...

My dentist asked me if I brush regularly.

"Yes," I replied. "And if you don't believe me, ask our pet horse. We share a toothbrush."

Single, huh?

A woman went to a grocery store and did some shopping. She gave her basket to the check-out clerk, who scanned the following:

1 toothbrush
2 small packages of noodles
1 banana
1 small turkey
1/2 gallon of milk

The clerk looked at the woman and said "single, huh?'
...

ANGER MANAGEMENT

Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?"

Wife: "I clean the toilet "

Husband: "How does that help?"

Wife: "I use your toothbrush."

What is six inches long, fits in your mouth, and is more fun when it vibrates?

A toothbrush, you perverts.

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The Gym (at 40) - Try and read this without laughing out loud!

Dear Diary

For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since playing football 24 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

Called ...

A teacher in Ireland is giving an English lesson and asks the class for examples of when they have heard the word "contagious" being used…

One eager child says, "Daddy says to cover my mouth when I cough because my cold is contagious!"

"Very good!" replied the teacher. "Has anybody else got an example?"

"My mummy says my laugh is contagious!" said another child.


"Great answer!" said the teacher, "How about you...

What goes back and forth, makes white stuff, and feels different if you use your other hand?

A toothbrush

A Mute Lady

A lady who was mute used to point out body parts in order to convey to the shopkeeper what she wanted.

So this once she wanted a toothbrush, so she points to her teeth. The shopkeeper quickly understands and hands her one.

This other time she wanted chicken thighs, so she shows the sho...

So i have been married to a somewhat prickly woman when she's either hungry, or tired. However, i love her for who she is, and i have been able to persevere through all of it.

One day, she asked me how i calm my mind and face her with dignity, compassion and love as a husband.

I answered, "i always clean the toilet when i am emotionally disturbed."

"But how is cleaning the toilet calms your mind?" She asked.

"I use your toothbrush. "

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Brushing 3x a day

Mom walked into the bathroom one day and found young Mickey furiously scrubbing his dick with a toothbrush and toothpaste. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, young man?!” she exclaimed.

“Don’t try to stop me!” Mickey warned. “I’m going to do this three times a day because there’s no w...

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