UPJOKE
toothpastebrushtoothbristlehairbrushshampoolotionbonefluoridedental flosstoiletrysoup-strainerdetergentmouthwashwasher

Toothbrush Jokes

A filthy toothbrush..

One day the toothbrush had enough of it and said “damn, I have the filthiest job in the whole wide world”. The toilet paper replied: “ you sure?”.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last week, after a one night stand with a woman, she had the gall to get up and use my toothbrush without even asking first. I told her, "That's disgusting!" She replied, "Well, we just had sex, so what's the big difference?"

I answered, "The difference is, I was gonna use the toothbrush again."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A traveling salesman employs a man with a stutter to sell toothbrushes...

His expectations are low for this guy, so he gives him a couple dozen toothbrushes to sell, expecting him to flop out.

To his surprise, the man returns in an hour with all the money. "S-s-sold then a-all!", he says.

The salesman chalks it up to beginners luck, and hands the stutterin...

how do you know the toothbrush is a British invention?

If it was from elsewhere they'd call it a teethbrush !

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia...

otherwise it would have been called the teethbrush.

I visited the birthplace of the man who invented the toothbrush today

There's no plaque

How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Indiana?

Because if it had been invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush.

(Hoosier here)

Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand?

Because a toothbrush works better.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A toothbrush salesman had a booth on a street corner.

One day he was approached by a man looking for a job. The salesman, skeptical of this random person’s sales ability, agreed that if the man could sell 100 toothbrushes in a day, that he could have the job.

At the end of the day the man approached him saying “I’ve sold all 100 toothbrush, can ...

I didn’t know I had to actually put my electric toothbrush in my mouth!?!

I thought it was Bluetooth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

8 years ago today, I shared the worst joke I ever created. I reposted it 4 years ago. Here it is again for those that missed it.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to g...

"I don't understand how you always stay so calm when we're having an argument,"...

....a man told his wife. "How do you do it?"

"I stay calm because I know that, even if you get the last word, as you often do" she replied with a shrug, "I'll get to clean our toilet."



"How in the world does that help?" he asked.



"I always use your toothbrush," ...

Your mama's so obsessive-compulsive

when she dropped her toothbrush in the toilet, she went out and got a new toilet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Selling Toothbrushes. Source: My Dad

(Long)
One day a man was walking down the street when he sees a kid on the corner selling tooth brushes. The kid asks him, "Hey sir would you like to buy a toothbrush?"
The man says, "I would except I already have one at home. I don't need one right now but do you want a tip to help...

I’m giving up on these electric toothbrushes. Mine goes through 2 batteries a week and always starts to smell like fish.

On an unrelated side note, my girlfriend has been in a good mood lately.

A guy goes shopping and buys a banana, 2 eggs and a toothbrush.

The cashier says "I bet you're single."

The man says "Wow, how could you tell?!"

The cashier replies "Because you're ugly as hell."

A boy from the backcountry was drafted into the Army.

On the first day, they issued him a comb. Later that day, the barber shaved his head.

The next day, they issued him a toothbrush. Later that day, the dentist pulled three of his teeth.

The next day, they issued him a jockstrap.

He has been AWOL ever since.

All these jokes about Alabama but no one acknowledges their contributions, like inventing the toothbrush

At least I think it was Alabama. Anywhere else they’d have called it a teethbrush.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bunch of thieves broke into my house and stole everything except my soap, shower gel, towels, toothbrush and deodorant.

Dirty bastards

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the best toothbrush for prostitutes?

Oral D

My dentist gives me a new toothbrush every check up which is nice because I save them for when a lady stays the night.

So far I have about a dozen of them saved up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man named Melvin works for a toothbrush company.

Year after year, he can repeatedly sell the most toothbrushes out of everyone who works for the company, at least tripling the the amount of sales the guy trailing him has made. No one knows how he does it.

One day, Melvin's boss calls him into his office.

"What is it, boss?" Melvin as...

Every 3 months buying new toothbrushes is expensive!

I have 32 teeth to buy toothbrushes for, I wish someone would invent a teethbrush!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife always complains when I use her toothbrush

If somebody can tell me of a better way of getting shit stains off the back of the toilet bowl I'm all ears.


-Jimmy Carr

You can't break an electric toothbrush

If it stops working, it becomes a toothbrush.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Toothbrush Salesman.

One day, a man with a lisp named Joseph walks into a toothbrush factory. Down on his luck and very desperate, he asks to speak to the manager of the facility, about getting a job as a toothbrush salesman. The manager walks out, and greets Joseph. “Hi there thir, my names Jotheph, and I was curiouth ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a one night stand, and afterwards she used my toothbrush

I made kind of a big deal about it, because that’s pretty gross

She said, “Well we just had sex, what’s the difference?”

I said, “*Well* I was planning on using that toothbrush again”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After 6+ years of me and my wife being together, she still gets mad whenever i use her toothbrush

So if anyone knows another way to remove dogshit from my sneakers id be happy to hear it

Did you hear Oral-B and Queen Latifah are making a toothbrush together?

It’s called clean-ya-teefah!

I don't mind using my roommates toothbrush

I mean would you rather be ruthless or toothless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Toothbrush Salesman

A guy loses his job and is really down on his luck. He searches everywhere, but can't seem to find any work.

After a few weeks he see's a classified in the newspaper looking for a salesman. He applies and is scheduled for an interview.

When he gets to the interview, he meets his pote...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a toothbrush salesman is down on his luck

He goes into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender gives him a shot and asks "What's wrong buddy? You look like the world is about to collapse."
"Well my friend,(the salesman slowly take his shot, stares at the empty glass and replies) I'm a toothbrush salesman and I haven't made a sale in over...

A toothbrush journey in India

Very real story...,,

A Dentist was conducting a global survey-
*"How long do you use your Toothbrush...?"*

Chinese:
"3 months...!"

American:
"1 month...!!"

Indian:
"There is no fixed time limit doctor, it may be years...!!! Initially we use it for *brushing* ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to sell toothbrushes

Monday at school, the teacher lined up all the students and had them present their weekend homework: their assignment was to sell something and give a presentation on effective salesmanship.

Sally was up first. "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30. My sales approach was to appeal to peop...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in the supermarket the other day and there was a girl in front of me at the checkout, she had one apple, one pear, one toothbrush, one cup o noodle, and one can of soup.

I leaned over and said, "You're single arent you.."

She says, "Yes, but how did you know?"

I said, "Because you're ugly as fuck!"

P1: what's the difference between a baby and a toothbrush?

P2: i don't know

P1: well, I'm never letting you babysit

How to Sell a Toothbrush

The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes.

He replied “It’s easy” and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top.

He told his boss, I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife is just like her toothbrush.

On my ass every day for no good reason.

A man is walking a toothbrush

A man is walking a toothbrush down the street, as if it were a dog, with a leash and everything.

As he walks by, people look at him oddly, talking to each other, since it seems the man is clearly insane.

One woman approaches him: "Excuse me sir, you know you're walking a toothbrush rig...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Toothbrush (Long)

3 men apply for a sales job at toothbrush company. The first day the manger send them out for their first try at selling toothbrushes.
At the end of the day they come back and report in:
Manager, “how many did you sell?
First guy, “I sold 42.”
Manager, “Not bad”
Second guy, “I sold 86...

How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?

If it had been invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush.

What's the latest invention to come out of the UA engineering program? A solar-powered flashlight.

How can you tell if someone's a UA graduate? Look at the ring while they're picking their nose.

Why are crim...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a penis and a toothbrush?

If you clicked because you didn't know, let me know next time you brush your teeth.

I needed to buy a new toothbrush

but they were all out of Reach

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That's how the fight got started...

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I ...

My dad bought me a Sonicare toothbrush

I guess he just wanted me to know.

Accidentally used my wife's electric toothbrush...

I don't remember her eating fish for lunch.

What's long, hard, that ​comes and goes and make you spit white

A toothbrush

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Toothbrush Salesman

A man had recently lost his job when he saw an ad in the local paper for a position selling toothbrushes. He went to the address and met with the boss. The boss liked him and decided to give him a shot.

“We’ll start you out with 10 toothbrushes” said the boss. “Once you sell those, come bac...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the horny toothbrush say to it's partner...

I want some Oral, B

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A toothbrush salesman at the mall

A toothbrush salesman is tasked with selling his product at the mall.
So he sets up a small kiosk by the escalator with a bag of chips and cup of dip.
A man and his wife walk up and the wife eats a chip and remarks about how good it is.
The salesman says "you really must try the dip"
And...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend and I have an intimate relationship, but she got upset when I was using her toothbrush.

So I just said 'Hey, if YOU have a better way to get dogshit out of sneakers...'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Toothbrush Salemen

Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. The other two guys are jealous, but they can't figure out his secret. Then, one day, they run into him at the mall, where he's set up ...

My Uncle Benny Always used to Say, "If you like a girl you should buy her a Toothbrush..."

"Because then every time she puts it in her mouth, she'll think of you."

You know when you have a dentist appointment so you brush your teeth extra to have a clean mouth?

Well, I have a prostate exam coming up. Now I need a new toothbrush.

Angry alligator

You ever wonder why an alligator is so angry,

All them teeth with but no toothbrush.

TIL: The guy who invented the toothbrush plays the banjo in his spare time.

Anyone else would have called it a teethbrush.

What’s long and hard, and hairy at one end?

A toothbrush.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a job interview for a salesman position.

In order to prove he can do the job, the man is given a box of 100 toothbrushes, and told to come back when he's sold them all. He leaves, and returns in 2 hours and says "I sold them all." The interviewer is dumbfounded. "I have never had anyone sell that many toothbrushes that quickly! You get t...

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away wit...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke my 9 year old made up: How do you get poop on your sister's forehead?

With dad's toothbrush

What did the Alabama Alligator say to the teacher when asked why people were so mean?

Momma says Alabamans are ornery because they have all them toothbrushes and no teeth

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What am I?

I am a common object enjoyed by both sexes, normally about 8 inches long, with little hairs on one end, and a hole in the other. For most of the day I am laying down, but I am ready for instant action. When in use, I move back and forth and in and out of a warm, moist hole. When the work is finally ...

A teacher in Ireland is giving an English lesson and asks the class for examples of when they have heard the word "contagious" being used…

One eager child says, "Daddy says to cover my mouth when I cough because my cold is contagious!"

"Very good!" replied the teacher. "Has anybody else got an example?"

"My mummy says my laugh is contagious!" said another child.


"Great answer!" said the teacher, "How about you...

Dip Chip Anyone?

A man answers an ad for a sales position. The hiring manager says "We sell toothbrushes. You'll be on a 30 day probationary period. In that time you need to sell at least 100 units on average each week. If you make that goal you'll be hired on full time."

The man agrees and starts work immedi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lone camel driver was about to embark upon a long journey from west Sahara to Egypt.

He packed all the gear he could think of for the journey that would last for a couple of months. No thing had escaped his mind. Lots of water, food, first aid kit, even three toothbrushes to last him the whole way.

Only after a week, well into the desert did it dawn on him that while he had r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Irish exchange student

I was volunteering in my sons 1st grade class. During their vocabulary session the teacher begins her lesson with the word Contagious.

So the teacher asks, “can anyone use the word contagious in a sentence?”

And of course, there is a little girl in the front who raises her hand. “The ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why Men Are Happier

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are three guys looking for a job

They come across this toothbrush seller, they ask for a job and end up getting it. Their employer tells them “ok all you guys need to do is walk around town and sell as many toothbrushes as you can, then once the days over you come back to me and tell how many you sold”, so they each get a box of to...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.