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When I was a kid, my parents fed me a lot of bullshit, like believing in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. But I finally started thinking for myself and realized it was all wishful thinking.

Thank you Jesus!

When I was 7 years old, I realized that Santa, The Tooth Fairy, and my dad all had the same handwriting.

Good thing none of those things actually exist.

Posting OC before bed is like waiting for the tooth fairy

You're always disappointed when you wake up

What's a tooth fairy's side hustle?

Prostitooth

Who is the odd one out between.... Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, Bill Cosby and the tooth fairy?

The Easter bunny, the rest only come when you are sleeping.

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Well now that I’m older I don’t fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.

The Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy walk into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says “What is this, some kind of joke?”

How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?

They're always searching for the tooth.

I was devastated when I found out the Tooth Fairy isn't real. Because that means it was my parents...

who molested me.



credit: Ryan Stout

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[NSFW] A few days after his 10th birthday, Little Johnny’s parents sit him down for a talk ...

Dad: “Johnny, you are ten years old, and in a few months you will have a little sister. It’s time you learned where babies come from.”

Johnny: “Mom! Dad! Not again! Last year, you told me Santa wasn’t real. The year before, it was the tooth fairy. Are you about to tell me that people don’t ac...

How do meth addicts pay for their habit?

The tooth fairy.

My son is having sleep problems.

Just before bedtime I told him about this tiny wicked creature that creeps into children’s bedrooms and collects their bones.

My wife got super mad, it’s like she wanted to tell him about the tooth fairy too or something.

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A father was about to tell his ten year old son about the birds and the bees.

“I don’t want to know”, said the son.

“Why?” said the father.

“Because when I was seven you told me there was no tooth fairy, when I was eight you told me there was no Easter bunny and when I was nine you told me there was no Santa Claus. If you’re about to tell me grown ups don’t actu...

Who gets the money?

In a room there is a poor Nigerian man, a rich Nigerian man, Santa Clause, and the Tooth Fairy. In the middle of the room there is a million dollars. Out of the 4 who gets the millions dollars?



Obviously the poor Nigerian man because the other 3 do not exist.

I fell asleep with my iPhone under my pillow last night and when I woke up, it was gone and replaced with a shiny new silver dollar...

Damn that Blue-Tooth Fairy!

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A father asked his young son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" the
boy exploded, bursting into tears. Confused, his
father asked the youngster what was wrong. Oh
pop," the boy sobbed, "for me there was no santa
claus at age six, no Easter bunny at age seven, no
tooth fairy at age eight and no stork at ten. and
if you'r...

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Who's the poorest person in West Virginia?

The Tooth Fairy.

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Why were adults yanking their teeth out after watching a shitty movie from Dwyane Johnson?

To get their money back from "The Tooth Fairy".

We're so poor

We're so poor that the tooth fairy gave us food stamps

Where does a majority of a hockey player's salary come from?

The tooth fairy

Lawyer Riddle

A high priced lawyer, a low priced lawyer and the tooth fairy are sitting at a table. There is a $20 bill in the middle of the table. All of a sudden, the lights in the room go off. When they come back on, the $20 bill is gone. Who took it?


The high priced lawyer, because the low priced l...

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A father tells his son it's time he learned about the birds and the bees.

Upon hearing this, the son freaks out. The father looks on in puzzlement at his son's emotional metldown.

"What the heck's the matter with you?" he asks.

"Dad, when I was 8, you said we had to have a talk about the Tooth Fairy, and you told me she wasn't real. A little part of me died...

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