This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar and sees a jar of $100 bills on the counter

He asks the bartender "Hey, what's with the jar?"

The bartender replies "Well, we have a running challenge here in the bar. It has three parts. If you look at the end there, you'll see Big Jim. Big Jim is the baddest motherfucker in town. You have to knock Big Jim out."

The guy looks d...

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Well now that I’m older I don’t fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.

Bad tooth NSFW

[Warning: NSFW content, long story]

A man walks into a new bar his friends told him about and they decided to check out together. He goes up to the bartender to give a description of his friends and ask him if he's seen them, but before he gets the question off he sees his friends on the far ...

I was devastated when I found out the Tooth Fairy isn't real. Because that means it was my parents...

who molested me.



credit: Ryan Stout

All these jokes about Alabama but no one acknowledges their contributions, like inventing the toothbrush

At least I think it was Alabama. Anywhere else they’d have called it a teethbrush.

Even though my girlfriend is addicted to meth, I still love her.

She's so beautiful. Those lips, those eyes, that tooth.

What time is it in a dentists’ office?

Tooth Hurty.

A man and his wife walked quickly into a dentist's office.

A man and his wife walked quickly into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull t...

My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth.

He says it’s accidental.

My wife told me that my son just lost his first tooth...

I know! That hopefully taught him not to touch my Xbox.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A former maths professor turned dentist shaved my infected tooth down into a single thin line...

I asked him, "What the hell is this?"

He replied, "A square root canal."

A man and his wife go to the dentist to get a rotten tooth removed

The man tells the dentist, "Look doc, I don't want any painkillers. No gas, no needles, nothing. Just get in, yank out the tooth, and we'll get out of here.

"I wish more of my patients had your fortitude," says the doctor admiringly. "Which tooth is rotten?"

The man turns to his wif...

My daughter lost her first tooth today

I bet she won't touch my X- box again !

(X post) Weaponized Saber-tooth cats would be a real menace.

They're armed to the teeth.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, and notices a big jar full of money behind the counter.

He asks the bartender, “Hey man, what’s that jar? I bet there’s at least one grand in there!”

“Ah, you must be new here. It’s a challenge. If you put in fifty bucks, and then succeed at three tasks, you get all the money inside the jar.”

“Really? Man, what a tourist trap! Do people act...

Did you hear the joke about the dentist who loves tooth extraction?

[removed]

A guy gets hit by a car and goes to hell. When he gets there, the devil is standing in front of 3 doors.

The devil says, "It's your lucky day. I'm
gonna give you a chance to get out of hell. You
have to complete 3 tasks.

"Behind this first door is a 1-gallon jug of Jack
Daniel's. You have to drain it in one drink.

"Behind the second door is a 600 lb. grizzly bear
with a sore t...

Daughter loses her first tooth

Wife : "Honey see this, our daughter lost her first tooth"

Husband : "yeah I know, she probably won't touch my PlayStation again"

Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?

Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.

How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?

They're always searching for the tooth.

My wisdom tooth came out the other day.

I still love him no matter what.

What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed it’s tooth?

The dentist

The Tooth Fairy wasn't too impressed with the dentures I left under my pillow...

...Tooth be trolled.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So a man sits down at a bar that has a huge jar full of cash on it...

The man calls the bartender and says "Hey, what's the jar for?" The bartender tells the man that the bar has a challenge where if a customer can complete 3 tasks they will take home all the money in the jar, but if they lose, they have to empty their wallet into it. The man sizes up the jar and asks...

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer, and a hobo are walking down the street when they simutaneously see a $100 bill. Who gets it?

The hobo. The rest are mythical creatures.

What did the molar 1 say to the wisdom tooth?

Ouch! Move, oral get you extracted.

A father looks at his son after losing his first tooth. “Now that you’ve lost your first tooth, son, what have you learned?”

“Never interrupt you again while you’re talking”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do tooth cavities and anal cavities have in common?

They both feel better when they get filled in.

Who is the odd one out between.... Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, Bill Cosby and the tooth fairy?

The Easter bunny, the rest only come when you are sleeping.

A father-son talk

A father asked his 12 year old son if he knew how babies were made, so the kid started crying: I don't want to know! Please don't tell me!
The confused father asked the boy why he didn't want to know.
"Because when I was 6 I was told the easter bunny wasn't real. When I was 7 you told me the t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. While he sits there he notices a jar full of money on the bar. Next to the jar is a sign that reads, "complete the challenge win the prize." Curious, the guy asks the bartender about the challenge. The bartender explains there are three part...

Last night, my daughter shouted downstairs, "Dad! My tooth has just fallen out into my drink!" "That's great, darling!" I said. "Put it under your pillow and see what happens."

A few minutes later she shouted, "Nothing's happened dad and now my bed is completely soaked!"

How do meth users get the money to buy their drugs?

The toothfairy.

A girls first time

You lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head. He has more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you s...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Bar Challenge

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a beer. As the bartender is bringing his drink, he notices a large unlabeled jar full of money. His curiosity is piqued, and he asks the bartender what it's for. The bartender explains that there is an ongoing bet that no one will complete a challenge se...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of 10 dollar bills sitting on the counter.

He figures there must be thousands of dollars in that jar because it is quite large and nearly filled to the brim.

The man then approaches the bartender and inquires him about the jar of money.

The bartender tells him, "If you drop a 10 dollar bill into that jar and pass three challeng...

I have 6 eyes, 3 ears, 2 mouths, but one tooth. What am I?

Ugly.

NSFW My buddy asked me if I ever had a girl lose a tooth while giving me head?

Of course, but she had most of her adult teeth so does it still count

What do you call a tooth in a glass?

A one molar solution.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is at the dentist for a root canal.

The dentist, picking up a syringe, moved toward the patient.

“WHOAAA! What’s that for?” Asked the patient

“Well, this injection will numb the area around your tooth and keep you from feeling pain during the procedure” explained the dentist.

“No way! I am deathly afraid of needl...

What did the beaver say when he chipped his tooth?

Dam it!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of money...

He asks the bartender what that's all about. The bartender replies, "20 bucks and you're in. The first person to chug this entire bottle of vodka and eat the worm at the bottom, then in the back there's a mean rottweiler with a sore tooth you gotta pull it's tooth. After that there's a 90 year old w...

A patient says to a dentist : " you pulled out a tooth in like 3 seconds and you get the money, not fair! What an easy career"

The dentist replies: " sounds right. Let's make it 3 hours long."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather Abdullah in a nursing home.

All the Arab Facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Italian home.
After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Abdullah.

"How do you like it here?" Asked the grandson.
It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," said Abdu...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Son, what do you have to say after your first tooth has fallen out?

"To not to piss you off anymore or more will fly?"

Your dirty minded

Him: Ok, I’m going to pull it out now.

Her: This is scary because it’s my first time.

He slowly starts to pull it out.

Her: *Screams*

Then the dentist yanks it out and says: Congratulations! You just got your first tooth pulled out!

5 year old: Mommy, do you know how long a tooth paste tube lasts?

Mother: No honey?

5 year old: 2 laps around the TV table, and one around the couch

What has 99 legs and one tooth?

The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of money on the counter.

He asks the bartender, “what is that jar for?” The bartender replies, “its for a contest, the person who wins gets all the money. First you have to beat that guy up” and he points to a buff guy in the corner. “Then, I have a bulldog with a tooth that’s been killing him. You have to pull it out. Then...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What happens when you try to pull out a tooth using the "string and doorknob trick" or a pair of pliers?

You get fired from your job as a dentist.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man goes into his favorite bar and sees a jar of money on the counter with the word "win" printed on it.

"What's this about?" he asks the bartender.

​

"That's our monthly contest. You put in a $20 entry fee and then perform the three acts. If you complete all three successfully you win the pot."

​

"Cool," he says. "What are the three acts?"

&...

Going to the dentist is like those movies where a character gets interrogated violently.

It’s pretty clear to them when you’re lying — and if you don’t come clean, you might lose a tooth.

A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says, "Free Beer For Life If You Can Pass Our Test!"

He asks the bartender, "What's this 'test' you have?"

The bartender says, "Well first, you gotta chug a gallon of pepper tequila. Next, you have to go out back and pull the sore tooth out of our angry alligator. And finally, we have a girl up stairs who's never slept with a man, and you gott...

I couldn't tell if I brushed my teeth with tooth paste or shamoo last night

I hope it was the former, not the lather.

A barbarian warrior is captured by the enemy

He was taken before the leader, and told that he had one opportunity for life: he must survive four trials by ordeal.

The first was to walk barefoot across a trench filled with hot coals.

The second, to drink a full quart of the most powerful spirit.

Third, he had to enter a ca...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A father was about to tell his ten year old son about the birds and the bees.

“I don’t want to know”, said the son.

“Why?” said the father.

“Because when I was seven you told me there was no tooth fairy, when I was eight you told me there was no Easter bunny and when I was nine you told me there was no Santa Claus. If you’re about to tell me grown ups don’t actu...

How many teeth does a hockey player have?

Don’t you mean tooth?

A drunk man has a tooth ache...

...he goes to the local pub, and asks for a drink, saying that one of his tooth hurts, and wants to numb the pain.
After one drink, he tells the barman his tooth still hurts, and asks for another drink.
Then again, after his second drink, he continues to express his pain, so the barman serves...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and sees a big jar full of money on the counter

He asks the bartender about it, and he replies, "Oh, it's for this ongoing... I guess you'd call it a contest."

Intrigued, the man asks how it works.

"Well, you put $100 in and then you'll win the whole jar if you complete three tasks."

The jar is quite large and full to the b...

My wife's been nagging me to see the dentist about a tooth extraction.

She says getting me to go is like pulling teeth.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Challenge [NSFW]

A man walks into a bar, reaching the counter a sign hangs above the bar stating, “Complete The Challenge and Win Free Alcohol for Life!” Intrigued by this the man asks the bartender what exactly is the challenge. “Well first off you have to drink a gallon of apple cider vinegar, second we keep a gat...

School Projects are fun

A science teacher sent off his year 8 class with a homework task, come up witch a science experiment, and either film it to show to the class, or show the experiment in front of the class next week.

Tim went home and thought long and hard about what he would do, but he came in next week with ...

How did the lawyer chip his tooth?

The ambulance slammed on its brakes.

Young King Arthur

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out t...

What do you call a depressed presenter at a dentist convention?

A blue tooth speaker

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So this guy walks into a bar...

...and walks up to the bartender. As he is ordering his drink, he sees a jar full of money in the counter.

​

He then asks the bartender what tha jar is all about, to which he replies with, "Oh, the jar is part of a challenge I decided to set up for the patrons of the bar. Wi...

A saber-tooth tiger arrives at a cave party

Where it's friends had been partying with a bunch of cave-people.

"I see I'm too late," says the tiger.

"Yup," says another. "Everyone's eaten"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

How Black Tooth McPhee Lost His Eye

It was a typical evening at the pub by the bay when a young man walks in and spots old Black Tooth McPhee sitting in a corner.

The yound man walks up to the old pirate and gives him a rowdy hi ho and says, "Ah McPhee, you're not looking so good since the last time I saw ye. What happened to y...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A beautiful young woman goes to the dentist to have a tooth extracted ...

She sits down tentatively before looking up at the dentist and says,"I am just so anxious about this whole procedure. You know, I think I would rather be fucked up the ass without any lubricant than have a tooth pulled out."

The dentist replied,"Well...you better make up your mind before I a...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy moves to a new town and is looking for nearby place to get a drink.

He walks into the first bar he sees and orders a beer. The bartender serves him but says that if he wants to come back he has to become a member. The guy takes a drink and looks around the place then asks, "well what do I gotta do to be a member?" The bartender reply's, "Well, did you see that 7 foo...

Crude Dental Work (In Australian)

Man on island, has bad tooth. Needs tooth removed. Friend with an axe is like, I know what to do mate. Uses axe to try to remove tooth but unintentionally knocks out all his teeth. First guy is like, Ouch-aroo mate, that is a 10/10 on the pain scale. Axe guy says, 'Hey man, it was Axe-y Dental'

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Did you hear the joke about the Hassidic jew dentist who only puts braces on every third tooth?

He's an unorthodox orthodox orthodontist

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Bar Jar Challenge

*Seeing as I just typed this whole bastard from memory for an /r/AskReddit thread, I thought y'all might enjoy it too:*

A guy walks into a bar and notices a large jar full of $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"
Bartender says, "People can pay the...

NSFW - Long - A man takes a trip to a bar in Florida

While drinking, the Bartender tells the man that they have a local challenge, which no one has ever actually successfully completed. However, the prize is free liquor from that bar for the rest of the man's life. The man, never one to back down, decides to bite, and asks the Bartender about the chal...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A trucker stops at a random bar along the highway for a drink...

When he walks in, he immediately sees a large jug of tequila sitting in the corner, untouched by all of the other patrons. He says to the bartender

​

"Hey, what's with the jug over there?"

The bartender replies, "You haven't heard about the house challenge?"

"N...

The challenges.

A man enters a bar and orders a drink. As he takes a seat, he notices a weird jar behind the bar counter labelled "The Challenges", that's full of cash. Intrigued by it, he asks the bartender what the jar is about.

"Oh, like the jar says, it's for The Challenges. You pay $10 to take them on....

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Selling Toothbrushes. Source: My Dad

(Long)
One day a man was walking down the street when he sees a kid on the corner selling tooth brushes. The kid asks him, "Hey sir would you like to buy a toothbrush?"
The man says, "I would except I already have one at home. I don't need one right now but do you want a tip to help...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy is sitting in a bar when he sees a jar full of $50 & $100 bills

He turns to the bartender and asks what the jar is all about.

“You can put a $50 or $100 bill in there and get it back as well as win all the money in the jar if you complete three tasks that I give you”

The guy says oh alright and continues drinking his beer. A while has passed now a...

A dentist and a manicurist decided to get divorced...

They fought tooth and nail.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A jungle explorer is captured by natives

and is brought before the tribal chief.

"Trespassing in our jungle is punishable by death." says the the chief, "We can kill you right now quickly and painlessly, or you can try and survive a test of courage and win your freedom."

"What's the test of courage?" Asks the explorer.
...