This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar and sees a jar of $100 bills on the counter

He asks the bartender "Hey, what's with the jar?"

The bartender replies "Well, we have a running challenge here in the bar. It has three parts. If you look at the end there, you'll see Big Jim. Big Jim is the baddest motherfucker in town. You have to knock Big Jim out."

The guy looks d...

I was devastated when I found out the Tooth Fairy isn't real. Because that means it was my parents...

who molested me.



credit: Ryan Stout

Even though my girlfriend is addicted to meth, I still love her.

She's so beautiful. Those lips, those eyes, that tooth.

All these jokes about Alabama but no one acknowledges their contributions, like inventing the toothbrush

At least I think it was Alabama. Anywhere else they’d have called it a teethbrush.

What time is it in a dentists’ office?

Tooth Hurty.

A man and his wife walked quickly into a dentist's office.

A man and his wife walked quickly into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull t...

My wife told me that my son just lost his first tooth...

I know! That hopefully taught him not to touch my Xbox.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A former maths professor turned dentist shaved my infected tooth down into a single thin line...

I asked him, "What the hell is this?"

He replied, "A square root canal."

(X post) Weaponized Saber-tooth cats would be a real menace.

They're armed to the teeth.

What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed it’s tooth?

The dentist

My daughter lost her first tooth today

I bet she won't touch my X- box again !

My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth.

He says it’s accidental.

Did you hear the joke about the dentist who loves tooth extraction?

[removed]

Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?

Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.

A guy gets hit by a car and goes to hell. When he gets there, the devil is standing in front of 3 doors.

The devil says, "It's your lucky day. I'm
gonna give you a chance to get out of hell. You
have to complete 3 tasks.

"Behind this first door is a 1-gallon jug of Jack
Daniel's. You have to drain it in one drink.

"Behind the second door is a 600 lb. grizzly bear
with a sore t...

Daughter loses her first tooth

Wife : "Honey see this, our daughter lost her first tooth"

Husband : "yeah I know, she probably won't touch my PlayStation again"

What did the molar 1 say to the wisdom tooth?

Ouch! Move, oral get you extracted.

The Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy walk into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says “What is this, some kind of joke?”

How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?

They're always searching for the tooth.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, and notices a big jar full of money behind the counter.

He asks the bartender, “Hey man, what’s that jar? I bet there’s at least one grand in there!”

“Ah, you must be new here. It’s a challenge. If you put in fifty bucks, and then succeed at three tasks, you get all the money inside the jar.”

“Really? Man, what a tourist trap! Do people act...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So a man sits down at a bar that has a huge jar full of cash on it...

The man calls the bartender and says "Hey, what's the jar for?" The bartender tells the man that the bar has a challenge where if a customer can complete 3 tasks they will take home all the money in the jar, but if they lose, they have to empty their wallet into it. The man sizes up the jar and asks...

Who is the odd one out between.... Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, Bill Cosby and the tooth fairy?

The Easter bunny, the rest only come when you are sleeping.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do tooth cavities and anal cavities have in common?

They both feel better when they get filled in.

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Well now that I’m older I don’t fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.

A father-son talk

A father asked his 12 year old son if he knew how babies were made, so the kid started crying: I don't want to know! Please don't tell me!
The confused father asked the boy why he didn't want to know.
"Because when I was 6 I was told the easter bunny wasn't real. When I was 7 you told me the t...

I have 6 eyes, 3 ears, 2 mouths, but one tooth. What am I?

Ugly.

A father looks at his son after losing his first tooth. “Now that you’ve lost your first tooth, son, what have you learned?”

“Never interrupt you again while you’re talking”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. While he sits there he notices a jar full of money on the bar. Next to the jar is a sign that reads, "complete the challenge win the prize." Curious, the guy asks the bartender about the challenge. The bartender explains there are three part...

A girls first time

You lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head. He has more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you s...

How did man lose gold tooth?

He bit coin.

NSFW My buddy asked me if I ever had a girl lose a tooth while giving me head?

Of course, but she had most of her adult teeth so does it still count

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Bar Challenge

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a beer. As the bartender is bringing his drink, he notices a large unlabeled jar full of money. His curiosity is piqued, and he asks the bartender what it's for. The bartender explains that there is an ongoing bet that no one will complete a challenge se...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather Abdullah in a nursing home.

All the Arab Facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Italian home.
After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Abdullah.

"How do you like it here?" Asked the grandson.
It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," said Abdu...

What do you call a tooth in a glass?

A one molar solution.

How do meth users get the money to buy their drugs?

The toothfairy.

What did the beaver say when he chipped his tooth?

Dam it!

A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says, "Free Beer For Life If You Can Pass Our Test!"

He asks the bartender, "What's this 'test' you have?"

The bartender says, "Well first, you gotta chug a gallon of pepper tequila. Next, you have to go out back and pull the sore tooth out of our angry alligator. And finally, we have a girl up stairs who's never slept with a man, and you gott...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

First Tooth Extraction

A dentist, doing his first extraction on a patient, was understandably nervous.

When he got the molar out, his hand shook, he lost his grip on the instrument, and the tooth dropped down into the patient's throat. "Sorry," said the doctor. "You're outside my specialty now. You should see a lar...

A patient says to a dentist : " you pulled out a tooth in like 3 seconds and you get the money, not fair! What an easy career"

The dentist replies: " sounds right. Let's make it 3 hours long."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Challenge [NSFW]

A man walks into a bar, reaching the counter a sign hangs above the bar stating, “Complete The Challenge and Win Free Alcohol for Life!” Intrigued by this the man asks the bartender what exactly is the challenge. “Well first off you have to drink a gallon of apple cider vinegar, second we keep a gat...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Son, what do you have to say after your first tooth has fallen out?

"To not to piss you off anymore or more will fly?"

A barbarian warrior is captured by the enemy

He was taken before the leader, and told that he had one opportunity for life: he must survive four trials by ordeal.

The first was to walk barefoot across a trench filled with hot coals.

The second, to drink a full quart of the most powerful spirit.

Third, he had to enter a ca...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and sees a big jar full of money on the counter

He asks the bartender about it, and he replies, "Oh, it's for this ongoing... I guess you'd call it a contest."

Intrigued, the man asks how it works.

"Well, you put $100 in and then you'll win the whole jar if you complete three tasks."

The jar is quite large and full to the b...

5 year old: Mommy, do you know how long a tooth paste tube lasts?

Mother: No honey?

5 year old: 2 laps around the TV table, and one around the couch

School Projects are fun

A science teacher sent off his year 8 class with a homework task, come up witch a science experiment, and either film it to show to the class, or show the experiment in front of the class next week.

Tim went home and thought long and hard about what he would do, but he came in next week with ...

Young King Arthur

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out t...

Why did Donkey Kong go to the dentist?

He had tooth DK

What do you say to a woman with only one tooth?

Nice tooth.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So this guy walks into a bar...

...and walks up to the bartender. As he is ordering his drink, he sees a jar full of money in the counter.

​

He then asks the bartender what tha jar is all about, to which he replies with, "Oh, the jar is part of a challenge I decided to set up for the patrons of the bar. Wi...

What has 99 legs and one tooth?

The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

Crude Dental Work (In Australian)

Man on island, has bad tooth. Needs tooth removed. Friend with an axe is like, I know what to do mate. Uses axe to try to remove tooth but unintentionally knocks out all his teeth. First guy is like, Ouch-aroo mate, that is a 10/10 on the pain scale. Axe guy says, 'Hey man, it was Axe-y Dental'

A drunk man has a tooth ache...

...he goes to the local pub, and asks for a drink, saying that one of his tooth hurts, and wants to numb the pain.
After one drink, he tells the barman his tooth still hurts, and asks for another drink.
Then again, after his second drink, he continues to express his pain, so the barman serves...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A trucker stops at a random bar along the highway for a drink...

When he walks in, he immediately sees a large jug of tequila sitting in the corner, untouched by all of the other patrons. He says to the bartender

​

"Hey, what's with the jug over there?"

The bartender replies, "You haven't heard about the house challenge?"

"N...

NSFW - Long - A man takes a trip to a bar in Florida

While drinking, the Bartender tells the man that they have a local challenge, which no one has ever actually successfully completed. However, the prize is free liquor from that bar for the rest of the man's life. The man, never one to back down, decides to bite, and asks the Bartender about the chal...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Bar Jar Challenge

*Seeing as I just typed this whole bastard from memory for an /r/AskReddit thread, I thought y'all might enjoy it too:*

A guy walks into a bar and notices a large jar full of $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"
Bartender says, "People can pay the...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy moves to a new town and is looking for nearby place to get a drink.

He walks into the first bar he sees and orders a beer. The bartender serves him but says that if he wants to come back he has to become a member. The guy takes a drink and looks around the place then asks, "well what do I gotta do to be a member?" The bartender reply's, "Well, did you see that 7 foo...

My wife's been nagging me to see the dentist about a tooth extraction.

She says getting me to go is like pulling teeth.

I couldn't tell if I brushed my teeth with tooth paste or shamoo last night

I hope it was the former, not the lather.

The challenges.

A man enters a bar and orders a drink. As he takes a seat, he notices a weird jar behind the bar counter labelled "The Challenges", that's full of cash. Intrigued by it, he asks the bartender what the jar is about.

"Oh, like the jar says, it's for The Challenges. You pay $10 to take them on....

How did the lawyer chip his tooth?

The ambulance slammed on its brakes.

A dentist and a manicurist decided to get divorced...

They fought tooth and nail.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A jungle explorer is captured by natives

and is brought before the tribal chief.

"Trespassing in our jungle is punishable by death." says the the chief, "We can kill you right now quickly and painlessly, or you can try and survive a test of courage and win your freedom."

"What's the test of courage?" Asks the explorer.
...

A saber-tooth tiger arrives at a cave party

Where it's friends had been partying with a bunch of cave-people.

"I see I'm too late," says the tiger.

"Yup," says another. "Everyone's eaten"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

How Black Tooth McPhee Lost His Eye

It was a typical evening at the pub by the bay when a young man walks in and spots old Black Tooth McPhee sitting in a corner.

The yound man walks up to the old pirate and gives him a rowdy hi ho and says, "Ah McPhee, you're not looking so good since the last time I saw ye. What happened to y...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy is sitting in a bar when he sees a jar full of $50 & $100 bills

He turns to the bartender and asks what the jar is all about.

“You can put a $50 or $100 bill in there and get it back as well as win all the money in the jar if you complete three tasks that I give you”

The guy says oh alright and continues drinking his beer. A while has passed now a...

Al Gore's dentist had trouble doing a filling.

It was An Inconvenient Tooth.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Selling Toothbrushes. Source: My Dad

(Long)
One day a man was walking down the street when he sees a kid on the corner selling tooth brushes. The kid asks him, "Hey sir would you like to buy a toothbrush?"
The man says, "I would except I already have one at home. I don't need one right now but do you want a tip to help...

What do you call the mineral found in teeth and tooth enamel?

Apatite.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Did you hear the joke about the Hassidic jew dentist who only puts braces on every third tooth?

He's an unorthodox orthodox orthodontist

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A businessman dies and gets to meet StPeter

Peter knows of the mans history and so offers him either, he enters hell for all eternity OR he can climb the “Ladder to success” a literal golden ladder.

Of course he chooses to climb.
StPeter imposes his terms, once you leave one level of the ladder you may only go up.

So agree...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A beautiful young woman goes to the dentist to have a tooth extracted ...

She sits down tentatively before looking up at the dentist and says,"I am just so anxious about this whole procedure. You know, I think I would rather be fucked up the ass without any lubricant than have a tooth pulled out."

The dentist replied,"Well...you better make up your mind before I a...

My account said I'm crazy for investing all my money in my idea of building a business that offers a boxing gym, a dentist, and a manicurist all under one roof.

But I told him I'm going to fight tooth and nail for it. Now if I could just think of a clever name for it, I'd be all set.

What is a dentist favorite time?

2:30 (tooth hurty)

.

.

.

.

.My students thought I was funny

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled with $100 dollar bills.

He asks the bartender what's with the jar?

Bartender tells him you won all the money if you complete the challenge, but I won't tell you what it is untill you put your $100 into the jar.

The man is so curious about the challenge, then after a few drinks he says.
"Fuck it!"
Then ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a bar

And on the bar is a bucket of money. He asks the bar tender, what's the deal with the bucket of money? The bar tender says we have a challenge here, for $50 you can try the challenge to win the money... First you must drink a bottle of hot sauce. Then out back we have pitbull with a bad tooth. You h...

One day a man walked into a sporting goods store looking to buy a rifle.

The man had never been hunting before and asked the clerk if he could recommend a rifle.

"Oh yes," the clerk said. "I'm not a very good shot but I've done quite a lot of hunting in my day, even did some big game hunting with my brother in law."

The man responded "No way! Did you get ...