UPJOKE
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Dolphins are the only animals besides humans that enjoy having Sex

I had to have sex with a lot of animals to figure that out

A secretary at the Kremlin is having a cigarette break besides the main entrance.

All of a sudden, the doors fly open and bursting out of the building comes a Russian Army general, muttering to himself:

"That idiotic, delusional, ridiculous old clown of a president! Why doesn't he just do us all a favour and throw himself out of a window?!"

The secretary thought to ...

Husband asks wife, "how many men have you slept with besides me?"

Wife: "zero"

Husband really happy: "really?"

Wife: "yes, I only slept with you, the rest kept me awake"

Ok bye

A man is walking besides the insane asylum

When he hears a commotion coming over the fence. The people inside the asylum are chanting

“FIVE, FIVE, FIVE, FIVE...”

He notices a small hole on the wall and curiously peeks inside to see what’s going on.

Someone pokes him in the eye with a stick. And then he hears chanting...

A stranger comes up and sits on the chair besides me.

"My week has been horrible," he says.

"What happened?" I asked.

"It only gets worse and worse for each day," he says,.

"Tell me about it."

"On Monday I was fired," he said.

"On Tuesday I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me."

"On Wednsday my parents d...

A man goes to his male doctor after several tests and tells him, "Give it to me straight doc!"

The doctor replies, "That's impossible, we're both male." They both laugh and the doctor says, "Besides, I don't want AIDS"

"Sorry," says the bartender, "I've run out of jokes. Besides, haven't you got this backwards?"

A punchline walks into a bar.

Besides OP's mom,

Which character would you like to have seen more of on the Andy Griffith show?

Why was everyone besides the outdoorsman laughing?

It was an inside joke.

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Besides humans dolphins are one of very few species that have sex for fun..

But damn, I still don't like that weird silence in the car every morning I take them back to the zoo.

Besides their last name, what does Wiz Khalifa and the Burj Khalifa have in common?

They're the highest things on this planet.

What similarities do Donald Trump and Donald Duck have in common besides their name?

They’re both quacks.

Besides training all the major Greek heroes, Chiron was also a doctor....

Besides training all the major Greek heroes, Chiron was also a doctor.

That would make him the Centaur for Disease Control.

Besides watermelon, there should be windmelon, firemelon and earthmelon.

The four elemelons.

I've never had a real girlfriend, besides that one in fifth grade...

Didn't really work out with me being a sophomore though.

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(Slightly NSFW) Man says to his wife that he is going golfing. She gets upset because she thought they would spend the day together.

Husband says to his wife that he is going golfing. She gets upset because she thought they would spend the day together.

Husband: "honey just give me the day I need to relieve some stress. Besides You don't even golf."

Wife: "I want to learn and besides it's something we can do toget...

LPT: Remember, besides blueberries, anything blue in the wild is poisonous and not fit for consumption....

The same rule applies to video game cartridges.

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