A toothless termite..

Walks into a bar and hollars ," Hey, where's the bar tender?!"

What do you call a toothless grizzly?

A gummy bear.

What’s long, brown, and toothless?

The unemployment line in Georgia.

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Free food isn't always the best

Tiffany and her coworkers are all servers and busboys at a busy seafood restaurant. Most of the food is higher end, and the plates can be pricey. The staff sees no problem with cleaning up the patrons' scraps, because they graze the leftovers at the same time.

A regular, Charlie, a man in h...

I don't mind using my roommates toothbrush

I mean would you rather be ruthless or toothless

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Old geezers sharing jokes

Group of old geezers been getting together at the same bar for decades. They always tell each other jokes. After awhile they know all the jokes so well, they just designate a number. Like ole Joe would say, 103, and everybody would be laughing their ass off. One day a toothless Jack said 10,587!...

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Did you hear the one about the toothless prostitute?

Eh, it sucks.

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Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks.

Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blended Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks.<...

One Sunday morning, an old lady headed to church late..

... because she couldn’t find her hearing aid.
As she was late and did not want to be noticed, she sat in the back, next to a teenager.

The pastor began his preach. To have an example for what he was preaching, he asked, “Everyone who has committed the sin of adultery, stand up.” The old ...

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A wealthy businessman sells everything he has and moves to a cottage in the countryside.

He unpacks his things and goes out to the front porch to sit on his rocking chair and soak in the ambiance.

A pickup rolls by.


"Howdy!" says the driver, a toothless bearded man in his fifties.

"Hey!"

"You new round here?"

"Sure am. Just unpacked."

"Say,...

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A miserable married guy goes to a pet store.

A miserably married guy decides he needs some companionship.

He goes to a pet store.

The salesman says. "I have a great pet for you. A toothless hamster."

Guy says, "Nah."

The salesman says, "But it gives great head."

The guy takes it home. His wife screams, "...

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Man walks into a brothel...

...slaps down $500 on the counter, and tells the Madam that he wants the ugliest, nastiest, most toothless old broad she has, plus a rotten egg sandwich.

The Madam looks back at him, confused, and says "Sir, for this much money, you could have one of our most beautiful women and a steak dinne...

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Smithers' Story

In the greatest days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.

After welcoming his replacement and showing the courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said,

"You mu...

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Dying of dehydration

There are these three guys in a desert dying of dehydration. Off in the horizon they see a house and finally manage to struggle to it. The first guy goes up to the door to ask for water. The door is opened by this really old, wart-covered, puss covered, scaly, toothless old woman.

"C-c-c-can ...

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[NSFW] You're Passionate!

A hungover, toothless eskimo woman is hitchiking on the side of the road, when a guy in a pick-up pulls over and asks her where she needs to go. "I need go to the liquor s(h)tore."
"All right, I'll take you," the man replies, "but you have to give me head."
"Ok," the eskimo replies, pulling he...

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A young minister was just starting out at his first pastoral job.

He was still very shy and unconfident, having recently graduated Theology Classes in the lower percentile of his class.
His first appointment was to visit one of his members that supposedly was very ill and needed cheering up. This was his first visit to any of his congregation, and he nervously ...

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A guy has $5 and is horny as hell...

He goes to a brothel and asks the bouncer what he can get for $5.
The bouncer says you'll have to go see Irene out back.
So the guy goes to a little shed behind the brothel.
He sees Irene, takes a deep breath and asks her "can I get a blowjob, I have $5?" She says can't I have Pyorrhea, he ...

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Pet store

Guy walks into a pet store...

- I need a new pet, my dog just died. You got puppies?
- Sir, forget the puppy, I have just the thing, a new craze from Japan... The toothless guinea pig!
- The toothless what?!
- The toothless guinea pig, sir. If you would like to step into the boot...

The Third Wish

An elderly man was sitting alone on a dark path, right? He wasn’t certain of which direction to go, and he’d forgotten both where he was traveling to and whom he was. He’d sat down for a moment to rest his weary legs, and suddenly looked up to see an elderly woman before him. She grinned toothlessly...

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