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Moore Jokes

Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race.

He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.

Roy Moore is no longer interested in this year..

Because it’s officially ‘18

Why was Roy Moore waiting outside the liquor store when it opened?

He heard they had a 14 year old Brandy

What's the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-Vaxxer?

The Anti-vaxxer is against sticking it in kids

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roy Moore says he’ll bring “Alabama values” to Washington, but I’m not so sure. I mean, he sexually assaulted teenage girls...

But he wasn’t related to any of ‘em!

Moore’s law states that the density of transistors doubles every two years.

This is usually done by making them smaller.

Therefore, less is Moore’s

Congress has finally made a decision and just announced that if Roy Moore wins the senate...

They will be ending their 'take your daughter to work' program.

I sure hope Roy Moore wins today

Alabama needs a congressman who isn't afraid to get his hands on the issues before they get too big.

So after Sonic Youth broke up Thurston Moore was asked did he have any regrets when it came to the band

And he said “Yeah, 100%”

Sir Roger Moore, prominent James bond actor has passed away

His family say that they are shaken.... but not stirred

What is Roy Moore's favorite piano key?

A minor

Benjamin Moore just came out with a new paint called blonde

It's not very bright but it spreads easily

Why is Roy Moore avoiding COVID-19?

He’d much rather catch COVID-16.

Hey, Roy Moore; what's the weather forecast?

Tonight, we'll be dipping into the teens.

So Sir Roger Moore has sadly died.

You could say he is in Double 0 Heaven now

Why did Roy Moore lose the election?

There’s a minimum age for voting

What did former Alabama Senator Roy Moore say about coronavirus?

It's called COVID-19, means I ain't gettin' it.

Why was Roy Moore a bad music teacher?

All he knew how to do was finger a minor.

Roy Moore demanded a recount

The results came back that she was 14 and a half.

Roy Moore missed the New Years Eve countdown.

He’s demanding a recount.

Why did Roy Moore lose the Senate race?

He enjoys coming in a little behind.

Met Roy Moore at a bar once...

Chatted him up about wanting to hook up with twenty-nine year olds.

He looked at me with disbelief and asked "how are you going to do all twenty at once?"

Doug Jones just won the Senate race against Roy Moore

I guess you could say he got Moore votes.

Why did Roy Moore go to Walmart?

He heard that girl's pants were half off.

What does Roy Moore and an e-book have in common?

They're both pdf files.

Roy Moore likes his women the same way he likes his constitutional amendments...

12 and Under

Why does Roy Moore like D.C.

Because, while the temperature is 30°, the real feel is in the teens.

Sean Connery passed away peacefully in his sleep at age 90, he and Roger Moore were good friends...

They shared a Bond.

Trump endorsed Roy Moore but not Don Blankenship...

I guess it's all right to mess with minors, but miners are off limits.

I see that Gary Moore didn't get any upvotes.

He's Still Got the Blues.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't Roy Moore live in a Northern state?

Because if the outside temperature drops into the teens he might try to fuck it

Roy Moore is in bed with a girl, and says "pretend you're 14". She found that really weird...

Her birthday was in 4 months anyway.

The real reason Roy Moore wanted to be in D.C.

He hasn't been banned from the National Mall

What did President Trump call Roy Moore's senate loss?

*"A minor setback."*

Volvo pulls its ads from 'Hannity' after Moore coverage

Volvo owners begin smashing their cars in protest.

Roy Moore has quit the Alabama senate race.

He's opening a Comet Ping-Pong franchise.

What's the difference between Bob Ross and Roy Moore?

One's a doodler and the other's a diddler.

We already know Roy Moore's positions on crime and immigration. But, what about his position on children?

Missionary, mostly.

You've heard Moore's law and Boyle's law but have you heard of Cole's law?

It's chopped cabbage. Thanks for the correction

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roy Moore was sentenced to 14 months in prison.

The judge said he would've given him 14 years, but he was worried that Moore would ejaculate upon hearing the sentence.

What does Roy Moore and a guitarist have in common?

They both enjoy fingering minors.

Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down.

Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.

Roy Moore is not happy with the events that transpired tonight

He liked it better when the night was young

I don't understand all the uproar about Roy Moore lately.

It seems like a minor issue to me.

What does Roy Moore call a high school track meet?

Speed dating

What is the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-vaxxer?

Anti-vaxxers don't like to stick 'em while they're young.

Roy Moore wasn't as disappointed with his loss as you may think.

Coming in a little behind was his plan the whole time.

What's the difference between 2015 and Moore's Law?

One's the year of the ram, the other is the ram of the year.

The weather suggests that turnout will be in Roy Moore's favor today.

It is expected to dip into the teens.

In the Alabama senatorial race next week, Roy Moore is either going to win...

...or he's going to come in a little behind.

Did you see that Roy Moore had a high profile interview on Dateline NBC?

What was unfortunate for him is that it was with Chris Hansen, who started it by asking him to take a seat over there.

[NSFW] Why did Roy Moore never miss a local Girl Scouts' meeting?

Because Brownies are delicious.

Turns out that Roy Moore is having a bad influence on weather in Alabama.

The temperatures are flirting with the teens this week.

Roy Moore has failed in his attempt to challenge the Alabama Senate result

It's almost as if he doesn't know what the word "no" means.

What kind of spirits haunt an abandoned Benjamin Moore or Sherwin Williams?

Mineral spirits

Why is Roy Moore’s Strategic Planning Committee headquartered in Disney's Hollywood Hotel?

He likes to keep his staff in something 12 years old.

Tributes from around the globe are still pouring in after the death of Sir Roger Moore…

The one from Vladimir Putin read: "From Russia, with love."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

...short story..

Last night I was watching an old Stalone / Banderas / Moore movie - Assassins, where Julianne Moore is telling a nice and old story that is worth following...

Once upon a time, there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so c...

I wanna ask Roy Moore voters how they feel about losing such a close race.

Unfortunately, I don’t speak Russian.

I’m really surprised that Roy Moore wants a recount in the Alabama election

Large gaps in numbers haven’t seemed to bother him before.

Congratulations, your daughter is getting married.

Who is the lucky guy?

She is going to mary Tyler Moore.



Sorry for the terrible joke.

I told my coworker he should introduce himself like James Bond

The name's Moore, Steve Moore. At least that's what the ladies say.

I hadn't picked up my guitar in years. But since quarantine started, I've....

Benjamin Moore

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW I'm pretty sure James Bond was having sex in the hotel room next door last night!!!

All I kept hearing was his lover's voice screaming "***Roger Moore***"

True story from the in-laws.

Was at the in-laws' place (okay my girlfriend's parents') and was chatting with her father as grandpa was watching a James Bond film.

Father: Well, TheCapedMoose, who's the better bond, Shaun Connery or Roger Moore?

Me: I dunno, it's kind of a toss up...

Father: No it isn't, Sh...

Caesar: Veni, vidi, vici!

Roy Moore: Vidi, vici, veni.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was recently clearing out my drug cabinet...

I came across a packet of James Bond 007 branded Viagra.

Apparently they make you Roger Moore!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a 14-year old girl and a Ferrari?

Roy Moore doesn't have a Ferrari in his basement.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I invented a new drink today; basically you start with a Shirley Temple and put a really old cocktail sausage in it.

I call it the "Judge Roy Moore".

The Alabama Senate elections are in! And even though it was tight,

Roy Moore came in a little behind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My chemistry teacher asked me a question in class.

She told to me to rank all the bonds.

So I did.

1) Connery

2) Craig

3) Brosnan

4) Dalton

5) Lazenby

She sent me outside the class. I still wonder if there were any Moore?

Republicans: "We couldn't possibly lose Alabama!"

Roy Moore: "hold my beer kids"

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