Why is Roy Moore avoiding COVID-19?

He’d much rather catch COVID-16.

I hadn't picked up my guitar in years. But since quarantine started, I've....

Benjamin Moore

Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race.

He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.

Why was Roy Moore waiting outside the liquor store when it opened?

He heard they had a 14 year old Brandy

Roy Moore is no longer interested in this year..

Because it’s officially ‘18

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Roy Moore says he’ll bring “Alabama values” to Washington, but I’m not so sure. I mean, he sexually assaulted teenage girls...

But he wasn’t related to any of ‘em!

I told my coworker he should introduce himself like James Bond

The name's Moore, Steve Moore. At least that's what the ladies say.

What's the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-Vaxxer?

The Anti-vaxxer is against sticking it in kids

Congress has finally made a decision and just announced that if Roy Moore wins the senate...

They will be ending their 'take your daughter to work' program.

What is Roy Moore's favorite piano key?

A minor

Moore doesn’t care that he lost tonight NSFW

word on the street is he prefers to come in a little behind.

I sure hope Roy Moore wins today

Alabama needs a congressman who isn't afraid to get his hands on the issues before they get too big.

You've heard Moore's law and Boyle's law but have you heard of Cole's law?

It's chopped cabbage. Thanks for the correction

Sir Roger Moore, prominent James bond actor has passed away

His family say that they are shaken.... but not stirred

Roy Moore is in bed with a girl, and says "pretend you're 14". She found that really weird...

Her birthday was in 4 months anyway.

Roy Moore likes his women the same way he likes his constitutional amendments...

12 and Under

We already know Roy Moore's positions on crime and immigration. But, what about his position on children?

Missionary, mostly.

Doug Jones just won the Senate race against Roy Moore

I guess you could say he got Moore votes.

What does Roy Moore and an e-book have in common?

They're both pdf files.

Why is Roy Moore so mad about the election anyways?

He normally likes coming in a little behind.

Roy Moore missed the New Years Eve countdown.

He’s demanding a recount.

Why was Roy Moore a bad music teacher?

All he knew how to do was finger a minor.

Why did Roy Moore lose the election?

There’s a minimum age for voting

Hey, Roy Moore; what's the weather forecast?

Tonight, we'll be dipping into the teens.

Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down.

Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.

I tell my wife, "I love you," but she keeps talking about this other man.

I don't know who this "Hugh Moore" is, but she always says she loves him instead.

In the Alabama senatorial race next week, Roy Moore is either going to win...

...or he's going to come in a little behind.

The real reason Roy Moore wanted to be in D.C.

He hasn't been banned from the National Mall

So Sir Roger Moore has sadly died.

You could say he is in Double 0 Heaven now

Did you see that Roy Moore had a high profile interview on Dateline NBC?

What was unfortunate for him is that it was with Chris Hansen, who started it by asking him to take a seat over there.

I see that Gary Moore didn't get any upvotes.

He's Still Got the Blues.

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NSFW I'm pretty sure James Bond was having sex in the hotel room next door last night!!!

All I kept hearing was his lover's voice screaming "***Roger Moore***"

What did President Trump call Roy Moore's senate loss?

*"A minor setback."*

Tributes from around the globe are still pouring in after the death of Sir Roger Moore…

The one from Vladimir Putin read: "From Russia, with love."

Trump endorsed Roy Moore but not Don Blankenship...

I guess it's all right to mess with minors, but miners are off limits.

I wanna ask Roy Moore voters how they feel about losing such a close race.

Unfortunately, I don’t speak Russian.

Turns out that Roy Moore is having a bad influence on weather in Alabama.

The temperatures are flirting with the teens this week.

Roy Moore still hasn't conceded, which actually makes sense.

How could anyone banned from mall food courts know anything about concessions?

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Why can't Roy Moore live in a Northern state?

Because if the outside temperature drops into the teens he might try to fuck it

Met Roy Moore at a bar once...

Chatted him up about wanting to hook up with twenty-nine year olds.

He looked at me with disbelief and asked "how are you going to do all twenty at once?"

Roy Moore is not happy with the events that transpired tonight

He liked it better when the night was young

Why does Roy Moore want a recount of the election?

He thinks Alabama is playing hard to get

Roy Moore wasn't as disappointed with his loss as you may think.

Coming in a little behind was his plan the whole time.

What's the difference between Bob Ross and Roy Moore?

One's a doodler and the other's a diddler.

Why did Roy Moore go to Walmart?

He heard that girl's pants were half off.

I don't understand all the uproar about Roy Moore lately.

It seems like a minor issue to me.

What does Roy Moore and a guitarist have in common?

They both enjoy fingering minors.

What is the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-vaxxer?

Anti-vaxxers don't like to stick 'em while they're young.

[NSFW] Why did Roy Moore never miss a local Girl Scouts' meeting?

Because Brownies are delicious.

Why does Roy Moore like D.C.

Because, while the temperature is 30°, the real feel is in the teens.

I’m really surprised that Roy Moore wants a recount in the Alabama election

Large gaps in numbers haven’t seemed to bother him before.

Roy Moore demanded a recount

The results came back that she was 14 and a half.

Why is Roy Moore’s Strategic Planning Committee headquartered in Disney's Hollywood Hotel?

He likes to keep his staff in something 12 years old.

What does Roy Moore call a high school track meet?

Speed dating

Alabamans were fine with Roy Moore dating teenagers as an adult until

they found out that he wasn't dating cousins.

Did you know Roy Moore is dyslexic?

Well, you should. Another fun fact: his favorite store is Forever 21.

What kind of spirits haunt an abandoned Benjamin Moore or Sherwin Williams?

Mineral spirits

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Michael Moore's first cut of a certain movie involved lots of pornstars and oral sex. But people didn't like it, so he cut that out. It wasn't the pornstars fault though.

They tried their best and were blowing for Columbine

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I was recently clearing out my drug cabinet...

I came across a packet of James Bond 007 branded Viagra.

Apparently they make you Roger Moore!

What's the difference between 2015 and Moore's Law?

One's the year of the ram, the other is the ram of the year.

An international conference was held to decide what the most annoying musical instrument was.

After intense debate, a shortlist of instruments was created, consisting of the bagpipes, didgeridoo, and vuvuzela, but before a vote was held it was decided that the exact origin of each instrument had to be accounted accounted for beyond any doubt.

The didgeridoo's origin was easily proven,...

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My chemistry teacher asked me a question in class.

She told to me to rank all the bonds.

So I did.

1) Connery

2) Craig

3) Brosnan

4) Dalton

5) Lazenby

She sent me outside the class. I still wonder if there were any Moore?

Sod's law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Moore's law: The complexity of integrated circuits doubles every 24 months.

Campbell's law: The more any quantitative social indicator is used for social decision making, the more subject it will be to corruption pressures and the more apt it will be to distort and corrupt the social processe...

Caesar: Veni, vidi, vici!

Roy Moore: Vidi, vici, veni.

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What's the difference between a 14-year old girl and a Ferrari?

Roy Moore doesn't have a Ferrari in his basement.

The Alabama Senate elections are in! And even though it was tight,

Roy Moore came in a little behind.

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I invented a new drink today; basically you start with a Shirley Temple and put a really old cocktail sausage in it.

I call it the "Judge Roy Moore".

Republicans: "We couldn't possibly lose Alabama!"

Roy Moore: "hold my beer kids"

Dems haven't won a senate seat in Alabama since 1992

Unlike Roy Moore, they were capable of waiting 25 years.

How childish are Trump's tweets?

Let's just say Roy Moore would date them.

How many times can 32 go into 14?

One Moore.

I'm not saying my cat is old..

.. but if it was a person, it would be too old for Roy Moore.

Can you imagine going to your girlfriend’s prom at 32?

Well neither could Roy Moore. He preferred freshmen.

Mr. Lee Sum Wan and Mr.Sori

Sam Wan: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Mr. Sori: Yes, you could speak to me.

Sam Wan: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Mr. Sori: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Sam Wan: I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Mr. Sori: I know you ar...

Doug Jones’ margin of victory is so small

Roy Moore is going to try and molest it.

So it turns out the girl I've been talking to is only 14....

But its alright. I like her even Moore now.

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