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A boy from the country attended the prestigious university in the city.

With his degree, he got prizes in mathematics and metaphysics. The lad's father came up to the college to see his son graduate.

"Weel, Dr. Thompson" asked the old farmer to a professor, "And what may these mathematics be for which my son has getten a prize?"

"Mathematics is to do with ...

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A Topological Loop Walks Into a Bar, and Asks the Bartender "What's the Quickest Way to get Laid?" [NSFW]

A Topological Loop walks into a bar, and asks the bartender "what's the quickest way to get laid?"

The bartender answers, "Keep this under wraps, but check the second stall in the men's restroom. There's a glory hole there, and someone is in there right now."

The loop enters the bathro...

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John was starting to worry about his 12 year old son Jack.

Jack was a D student, and only because John helped complete all of Jack's homework. Jack wasn't good at sports. He didn't have many friends. And it seemed like once a week he was getting called into the principal's office for some sort of misbehavior. So John told Jack, in a last ditch effort to get...

Florida lawmaker Randall Thompson is forced to resign after it is revealed he spent taxpayer money on expensive footwear for his wife.

I guess Randall mishandled his panhandle sandal scandal.

yesterday, Judge Thompson issued the longest sentence in the Supreme Court's history,

needless to say, it was run-on.

A teenage boy goes to confession. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I’ve had premarital intercourse.”

The priest says “My son, who was the young lady? Was it Mary O’Toole?”

“I won’t say her name. I don’t want her to get in trouble.”

“Was it Jane Thompson? Laura Smith?”

“Father, I’m not saying who it was.”

He exits the confessional and his friend asks “What’d you get?”
...

Berry good

Two guys were arguing over the best way to grow strawberries. One asserted that Miracle-Gro was the best method, the other insisted that cow manure would yield the largest and sweetest berries. They finally decided to ask Mrs. Thompson, who was known far and wide for her succulent, large strawberr...

People in San Francisco started running away from the water as someone started shouting, SHARK! THERES A SHARK!!

Little do they know, its just Klay Thompson doing backstroke..

The Johnsons are celebrating Christmas...

Little Timmy, who just turned 6, never speaks. He is always silent and all the family thinks he's got some kind of problem.

While all the family is enjoying Christmas evening dinner, suddenly, little Timmy stands up and says:

"-Uncle"

All the family is speechless...

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A woman storms into a doctor’s office and demands to see the doctor immediately.

The attendant, flustered, says there will be a wait, but the woman refuses and stomps past the attendant’s desk and into an exam room. Moments later, the doctor enters.

“Okay Mrs. Thompson, what is the problem you’re so angry about?”

Mrs. Thompson opens her blouse, revealing a thick g...

3 Germans run into a bar

The rest got moved down by Thompsons.

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Young Jimmy has a terrible gambling problem.

Jimmy's Dad goes to talk to his teacher before class one morning. "Ms. Thompson, my son Jimmy has a terrible gambling problem, he bets on everything, he'd even bet on what tomorrow's temperature would be." he says. Ms. Thompson replies "Yes I have noticed his gambling, and it disrputs the class and ...

World's greatest stock trader retires

Jack Thompson was the most famous stock trader on Wall Street. His funds had made money, in good markets and bad, for decades. Finally ready to retire, he was going to reveal his secrets in an exclusive interview. "What are your tricks?" Asked the reporter. "I've got only one secret. Years ago I not...

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A bunch of nuns are in line..

So this was back in the day, a group of nuns worked in a hospital as nurses and it was time for confessional. The priest was in a bit of a rush so he asked the nuns to form a line and confess their sins in public.

The first nurse blushed and nervously said:

- I was changing Mr. Thomps...

A preacher recently died...

His name was Mike Thompson. He left behind his wife of 40 years Alice.

Meanwhile, another Mike Thompson from Seattle was away on business. His wife Allison was awaiting an email from him regarding when he was coming home because they had a wedding to go to that Friday and it was going to be ...

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office merger

Mike's startup company wasn't doing that well. He had a great idea for a tech startup, he got funding from venture capitalists, hired programmers, accountants, marketing analysts, everything. But sadly Super Tech Enterprises was failing. For months his former roommate's company was offering to bu...

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