What happened to Kamala Harris' campaign?

She had the black vote all locked up.

Dolly Parton just announced she's buying Big Lots, Piggly Wiggly, and Harris Teeter.

She's combining them to open a superstore called Big Wiggly Teeters.

What is Kamala Harris’ favorite kind of charcuterie?

Proseciutto

What would you call Steve Harris if he worked for an electrical company without pay?

A Powerslave

The Retired Husband

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following...

What does Neil Patrick Harris call his toilet?

His Dookie Houser

Jimmy Saville, Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall walk into a pub in Ireland

The barman says "Not Yewtree again"

I've always wondered why Rolf Harris never played any string instruments

But I guess he figured out other ways to finger a minor

So I heard Rolf Harris got 5 years, 9 months...

His favourite

What did Orville say when Keith Harris died?

Nothing.

Joe Biden formally announcing his run for president

Bernie Sanders: I am running

Andrew Yang: I am running

Kamala Harris: I am running

Elizabeth Warren: I am running

Joe Biden: Me too

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Talking Dog for Sale

A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: Talking Dog For Sale. He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting th...

Dolly Parton's made a major move into the grocery business...

She bought the chains Piggly Wiggly, Giant and Harris Teeter, and is going to rename them "Giant Wiggly Teeters".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pineapple & Semen

Isn't it odd that pineapple makes semen taste good, yet semen makes pineapple taste like shit.

Credit to Harris Wittels

A joke my mommy told me :)

Once there was a woman sitting in the doctor's office, complaining of incessant gas. She says to the doctor.

"I've been having silent farts all day. I had one in the harris teeter, one in church and...um, one right now."

The doctor replied, "I think you need to get your hearing check...

I want to open a Jamaican/Irish/Spanish small plate breakfast restaurant

And call it "Tapas the Mornin' to Ja."

RIP Harris Wittels.

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