UPJOKE
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Keith Richards and Mick Jagger came over for lunch at my house.

Unfortunately I undercooked the chicken and everyone got sick.

I almost killed 2 Stones with 1 bird.

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were cruising down the coast.

Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When Mick swerved to miss it he lost control of the car and they plummeted off a cliff to their death.

A tragic case of killing two Stones with one bird.

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were arrested for allegedly breaking into a Spanish man's house

They reportedly took some of his belongings (only what they could carry). When the police asked the homeowner about it, he said "They took what they could, but then.... The Rolling Stones gathered no más."

Betty White Has Passed Away…

The Queen and Keith Richards move on to the Finals

Just found out that Keith Richards and Mick Jagger were killed when a car driven by David Crosby crashed into them. I hope it’s not true, but if it is,

it’ll be the first time two Stones were killed with one Byrd.

Shocking results came in after Keith Richards went to the hospital.

They found blood in his drugstream.

Charlie Sheen, Amy Winehouse, and Keith Richards walk into a bar.

The bartender, local drug dealer, and in house pimp all get measured for a new suit

What do you call Mick Jagger and Keith Richards both found dead with their eyes taped open in front of the TV?

Killing two Stones with one Birdbox.



*I'll show myself out...*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've known a lot of Richards in my life...

They were all dicks

Captain America loses his voice...

Captain America loses his voice due to a scheme concocted by Doctor Doom.

He tries everything. Dr Strange can't help because he doesn't detect any magic causing the problem. Reed Richards can't help, because the problem isn't explainable with science. After a barrage of failed attempts, even ...

Keith Richards recently went to the doctor

They were surprised to have found traces of blood in his heroin stream.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With Apologies To Abbot And Costello

There were these two kids who ran away from their home in Why, Arizona. One was a tall, white kid. The other was a short, Asian kid. After running away from home, a police officer notices them. They were caught milking baby gila monsters for their venom. The cop didn't want to send them to juvi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old man Richard goes to bed

As Richard closed his eyes and dozed off, he suddenly found himself standing in front Heaven's Gates. Stunned in disbelief, Richard approaches Saint Peter in a panic.

"St. Peter! What happened, why am I in Heaven?"

"Well Richard, you've passed away in your sleep. From now on, the Gates...

If a man named Terry Richards kills you because you insulted him; what did you die of?

Dissing Terry.

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