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Richards Jokes

Did you hear the joke about Keith Richards?

It's an old one that will never die.

Betty White Has Passed Away…

The Queen and Keith Richards move on to the Finals

Keith Richards and Mick Jagger came over for lunch at my house.

Unfortunately I undercooked the chicken and everyone got sick.

I almost killed 2 Stones with 1 bird.

Keith Richards went to the hospital for a checkup today and the results were shocking.

They found blood in his drugstream.

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were cruising down the coast.

Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When Mick swerved to miss it he lost control of the car and they plummeted off a cliff to their death.

A tragic case of killing two Stones with one bird.

Did you hear Keith Richards and Mick Jagger's airplane went down after a goose flew in the engine?

Killed two Stones with one bird

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were arrested for allegedly breaking into a Spanish man's house

They reportedly took some of his belongings (only what they could carry). When the police asked the homeowner about it, he said "They took what they could, but then.... The Rolling Stones gathered no más."

A frog walks into a bank

A frog walks into a bank, and approaches the teller. He sees the tellers name tag read Paddy Black and says

"I'd like to take out a loan, Mrs. Black"

"Certainly," says the teller, "how much would that be for?"

"One million dollars." replies the frog. "Don't worry, it's ok, I kn...

Keith Richards is dead

No one has told him that yet though.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've known a lot of Richards in my life...

They were all dicks

Keith Richards recently went to the doctor

They were surprised to have found traces of blood in his heroin stream.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old man Richard goes to bed

As Richard closed his eyes and dozed off, he suddenly found himself standing in front Heaven's Gates. Stunned in disbelief, Richard approaches Saint Peter in a panic.

"St. Peter! What happened, why am I in Heaven?"

"Well Richard, you've passed away in your sleep. From now on, the Gates...

Just found out that Keith Richards and Mick Jagger were killed when a car driven by David Crosby crashed into them. I hope it’s not true, but if it is,

it’ll be the first time two Stones were killed with one Byrd.

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