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Richards Jokes

Keith Richards went to the hospital for a checkup today and the results were shocking.

They found blood in his drugstream.

Keith Richards and Mick Jagger came over for lunch at my house.

Unfortunately I undercooked the chicken and everyone got sick.

I almost killed 2 Stones with 1 bird.

Did you hear Keith Richards and Mick Jagger's airplane went down after a goose flew in the engine?

Killed two Stones with one bird

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were cruising down the coast.

Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When Mick swerved to miss it he lost control of the car and they plummeted off a cliff to their death.

A tragic case of killing two Stones with one bird.

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were arrested for allegedly breaking into a Spanish man's house

They reportedly took some of his belongings (only what they could carry). When the police asked the homeowner about it, he said "They took what they could, but then.... The Rolling Stones gathered no más."

Just found out that Keith Richards and Mick Jagger were killed when a car driven by David Crosby crashed into them. I hope it’s not true, but if it is,

it’ll be the first time two Stones were killed with one Byrd.

Betty White Has Passed Away…

The Queen and Keith Richards move on to the Finals

My Take on a Classic Joke:

One day, Kermit the Frog was a little short on cash, so he went to the bank to speak to a loan officer. When he got there, a woman extended her hand.

"Good afternoon, sir," she said. "My name is Patricia Wack. How may I help you today?"
Kermit replied, "Hi-ho, Patricia! I'm Kermit the F...

Charlie Sheen, Amy Winehouse, and Keith Richards walk into a bar.

The bartender, local drug dealer, and in house pimp all get measured for a new suit

What do you call Mick Jagger and Keith Richards both found dead with their eyes taped open in front of the TV?

Killing two Stones with one Birdbox.



*I'll show myself out...*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Richard Fight

Just like the Josh Fight, if there was one for the Richards, the person who won would be crowned the ultimate dick

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I've known a lot of Richards in my life...

They were all dicks

Keith Richards is dead

No one has told him that yet though.

Keith Richards recently went to the doctor

They were surprised to have found traces of blood in his heroin stream.

If a man named Terry Richards kills you because you insulted him; what did you die of?

Dissing Terry.

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Old man Richard goes to bed

As Richard closed his eyes and dozed off, he suddenly found himself standing in front Heaven's Gates. Stunned in disbelief, Richard approaches Saint Peter in a panic.

"St. Peter! What happened, why am I in Heaven?"

"Well Richard, you've passed away in your sleep. From now on, the Gates...

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