Kevin had just gotten a new car and was out for a drive

when he accidentally cut off a truck driver. Truck driver motioned for Kevin to pull over.

When Kevin did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to Kevin, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE...

The local weatherman named the upcoming snowstorm after his oldest son Kevin.

Because he didn't think it was going to amount to much either.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, Kevin remembered he had a dentist appointment.

He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash.

As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too.

The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth w...

Kevin Durant should be sponsored by Old Spice.

He can have his own scent: Deo-Durant.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man called Kevin is selling his python on ebay

So some bloke rang him up and said “is it massive”
Kevin replies “huge”
Then the bloke says “how many feet”
Kevin says “none its a snake you twat”

The Doctors told me I was just Six Degrees from dying of Kevin Bacon

Fortunately, Bacon was cured.

The stair joke

There was once a competition between 5 friends to walk up a flight of ten stairs, the first to get to the top wins. The catch? Every stair has a joke on it and if you were to laugh on any stair you were eliminated.

The first friend goes and makes it to the second stair before laughing at the...

Kevin dies and goes to heaven...

He gets in line and sees Saint Peter asking everyone a question before they head past the pearly gates. As he's third in line, he overhears Peter ask the guy in front, "Sir, were you faithful in your married life?". The man looks down and replies, "Well, I did have two affairs". Peter nods and hands...

Mother: How was school today, Kevin?

Kevin: It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!

Mother: Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?

Kevin: What school?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Doctor Kevin had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long

Doctor Kevin had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:

"Kevin don't...

Bob has a small company. One day, one of his employees, Kevin, dies

Bob and his wife go to the funeral. On the way back home, she asks him:

"Dear, you know my brother is a little lazy, but he's been looking for a good opportunity. Do you think he could replace Kevin?" Bob answers:

"It's ok for me, but we would have to talk with the graveyard administ...

Been watching basketball lately, and I gotta say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant.

He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.

A cab driver and a nun...

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”

She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as ol...

The bartender at my neighborhood pub calls me Kevin McAllister.

Because I’m always going Home Alone.

How did Kevin Spacey find the little boy in all the Tall grass?

Satisfying.

Why was Kevin Spacey so good at Blackjack?

He knew to hit on everything under 17

What's the difference between Kevin Spacey and Mozart?

It's hard to get Mozart to play with A minor.

TIL that after starring in 21 Kevin Spacey tried to play Blackjack professionally and lost all of his money.

Kept hitting on 17.

That World Series game was so long...

When it started Kevin Spacey was still a respected actor.

A man sees an ad in the paper

The ad reads "Guaranteed program to help you get fit!"

The man thinks to himself "you know, I can stand to lose a few pounds" and calls the number. A man answers the phone and says "thank you for contacting us. We offer 3 plans. The first is our lightest plan and the third is our most intens...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

After discovering that Kevin Spacey is a sexual predator, I would be surprised to see him get any work in the future.

Unless he runs for President of the United States.

Why is Kevin Spacey bad at hide and seek?

He comes out at the wrong time.

When was bed time at Kevin Spacey's house?

When the big hand touched the little hand.

Kevin Spacey is trying to get a new position in Vegas,...

Blackjack Dealer

Because they hit on anything under 17.

Kevin Bacon once had a friend named Johnny Eggs

They were known as Kevin and Johnny.

Why can Kevin Spacey never win a race?

He always comes in a little behind.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I can't stand Kevin Spacey and people like him.

They're all fucking immature assholes.

How is Kevin Spacey like Walmart?

They both have boys pants half off.

Kevin is on his way home after receiving his paycheck when a stomachache hit him..

Luckily, he was passing by a river.
Kevin ran for it and made a quick drop at the bank.

Did you hear Kevin Spacey is making a prequel to 21?

It's called "Always Hit on 14"

Kevin Spacey likes his guys like he likes his whiskey...

12 years old and in a barrel, OR 18 years old and full of coke.

Kevin goes to the doctor

Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had.. Kevin said, 'Shingles....

Why is Kevin Spacey so good at writing sad songs

Because he’s great at fingering minors

Kevin Spacey walks into a bar

But after realizing the drinking age is 21 decides that he'd rather hang out somewhere else.

Kevin Spacey is no longer going to be an actor. He's going to teach guitar.

Be cause he's good at fingering A Minor.

Can a woman make a man a millionaire?

Only if he's a billionaire.

Credits to Kevin Hart

What do Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?

The House of Cards they had built in Hollywoodland has now made them The Usual Suspects in Sin City. This was supposed to be LA Confidential but apparently they couldnt find Consenting Adults. The American Beauty of this is that they will now forever be Inglorious Basterds.

Bryan Singer and Kevin Spacey walk up to a bar

The bartender asks for their IDs. They walk away and say" well I guess we're not going to find what we're looking for here."

What's Kevin Spacey's favourite musical note?

A minor

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Kevin

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Kevin says: "I wanna start out as a Marine Pilot, then become a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apa...

Kevin Spacey is undergoing conversion therapy and hope to eventually have a normal marriage.

He says, "I want to have kids."

What do Kevin Spacey and Santa Claus have in common?

They both like to empty their sacks for young boys.
(I know it's an old MJ joke)

We have a strange custom in our office.

We have a strange custom in our office. The food has names there. Yesterday for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was "Kevin"

What did the woman say to Kevin Spacey on the beach?

Could you please move, you're in my son.

Would you say Kevin Spacey was a Trekkie?

Or more a Space Invader?

Why doesn't Kevin Spacey win first place in marathons?

He isn't an athlete and doesn't train for marathons

Kevin spacey got turn down to play Santa.

Apparently they didn’t trust him with the naughty list.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A teacher asked her students...

A teacher asked her 4th grade students a question every Thursday afternoon at the end of the day saying if they got it right they would not need to come to school Friday.

The first week she asks "how many stars in the galaxy?" No students had the answer.

The next week she asks"how many...

Did you hear Kevin Spacey is writing a song?

The entire thing is written in A minor

What's Kevin Spacey's favorite college?

Brigham Young

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Harvey Weinstein, Brett Ratner and Kevin Spacey walk into a bar...

Except the bar is actually Peyton Manning on all fours spreading his asshole wide open. Harvey and Brett don't appreciate the "prank" as much as Kevin does so they call their buddy Jeremy Piven to pick them up. The three head to an open-bathrobe party at Ben Affleck's house

Meanwhile, Kevin i...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Kevin Spacey's new job

Kevin Spacey's new job is at EA. They heard he likes to fuck 14 year olds over and over, just like them.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do Margaret Thatcher and Kevin Spacey have in common?

They both fuck miners

It makes more sense now why Kevin Spacey helped Baby in Baby Driver

He saw a little bit of himself in Baby, figuratively and literally.

I had Kevin Spacey show up at a house party

I don’t see what all the fuss about him is. I was chatting to him for an hour about all things from art and music to politics.

He’s a very articulate and intelligent man but I must say his sense of direction is a bit off.

He cut our conversation short saying that he had to use the li...

Whats Kevin Spacey's Favorite Opera?

The Magic Flute .... in a minor.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Kevin Spacey while writing his apology: "I could own up to the mistakes I've made...

...butt fuck it"

For decades I've always liked Kevin Spacey

Turns out he stopped liking me decades ago

What do Kevin Spacey and a Tortoise have in common?

They're both trying to get somewhere before the hare does

Kevin came home from elementary school one day...

...with a smile and exclaimed, "Dad! I got the highest score in class on the math test!"

"That's because you're from Louisiana, son!" The father replies.

The next day, Kevin returns from school again with excitement in his voice.

"Dad, guess what!?!" he says happily. "I can spel...

The NHL's Florida Panthers have apologized to their fans for using Kevin Spacey in a marketing campaign

it's probably for the best. He's a better fit with the Nashville Predators

Admin : Adds Erica to the group.

David: Hi Erica welcome to the group.

Erica: Hi guys, I am new to the city.

Sam: Hi Erica don’t worry, I am here, any problems I will be the solution.

Kevin: Hi Erica. Tell me if you have any problem, I will arrange a solution for you.

Kyle: Hi Erica, if you need anyt...

Halloween is Kevin Spacey's favourite holiday. Hordes of teenage kids knocking on his front door.

Hopefully he lets them out.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference between Kevin Spacey and a bank loan?

One waits until you are an adult before it fucks you.

You know what would have been a good name for Kevin Spacey in House of Cards?

Frank Underagewood

My Sight

A 90 year-old man who had played golf every day since his retirement 35 years before, arrived home furious and said to his wife, "That's it! I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball, I can't see where it went."

His wife sympathizes and say, "Why don't you ta...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Teacher ask Kevin for the meaning of... (NSFW)

Teacher ask Kevin for the meaning of: The Government, The Capitalism, The Working Class, The People, The Future and how they relate to each other.


Kevin gets home and asks his Mom about it; Mom replies: "WTF, you cannot see I'm busy here? Go and ask your dad about it, He is always just wa...