This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, Kevin remembered he had a dentist appointment.

He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash.
As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too.
The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide....

After the divorce went through, Kevin felt...

Unbridaled joy.

With all this Corona virus going around, I'm really worried about Kevin Bacon.

He's always at most 6 degrees away from someone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kevin Bacon has tested positive for Covid-19

We’re all fucked!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) Kevin had a 16 inch Dick.

Is dick was so big, he couldn't get any gals.

He went to a doctor, who was looking at the miracle unbelievably.

Doctor: "I..I.." the doctor stuttered, " Medical science cannot cure this."

"But..." the doctor says, "there is a wizard in the deep Lock Nock Lake. Go to him and he'l...

Kevin broke his favourite lamp. I joked about it, but then he got angry.

He said I was making light of the situation.

What do Jared Fogel, Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?

Their favorite piece of classical music is Chopin’s Waltz in A minor.

I wonder why Kevin Spacey is such a good guitarist.

Probably because he’s had a lot of practise fingering minors

Why did Kevin spacey quit his music career?

He didnt know th difference between minor and a minor

Kevin had just gotten a new car and was out for a drive

when he accidentally cut off a truck driver. Truck driver motioned for Kevin to pull over.

When Kevin did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to Kevin, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE...

I like you helping me in the kitchen, Kevin, but do you use drugs?

— No, mom, I swear!
— So, why you're cutting onions with the credit card?

Little Kevin had a habit of stealing apples from his neighbors farm

Annoyed by this the neighbor tried to catch little Kevin but constantly failed, so he hired a wise man to help him. The wise man simply painted a few words on a sign and left, the sign now said "one apple is poisoned". The next day the neighbor comes out to the wise mans house and asks for his money...

Kevin with his mistress on the bed

"You should leave now. My husband is coming back soon", said the woman.

"Don't worry, I've got my trained smart horse outside. If I just blow a whistle and jump out the window, it would catch me easily", smiled Kevin.

Then someone knocked at the door.

In a panic, Kevin blowed a ...

Kevin Hart is so short...

He goes up on his wife!

What do Kevin McCallister and Chris Watts have in common?

They both made their families disappear.

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs...

Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs...
Please God, dont let Kevin Bacon die.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man called Kevin is selling his python on ebay

So some bloke rang him up and said “is it massive”
Kevin replies “huge”
Then the bloke says “how many feet”
Kevin says “none its a snake you twat”

What does Kevin Hart have in common with Paul Walker?

Being friends with the rock!

Wait, what did you think I was going to say?

Kevin dies and goes to heaven...

He gets in line and sees Saint Peter asking everyone a question before they head past the pearly gates. As he's third in line, he overhears Peter ask the guy in front, "Sir, were you faithful in your married life?". The man looks down and replies, "Well, I did have two affairs". Peter nods and hands...

When I heard that Kevin Hart was injured in a car accident, I was really worried for my kids.

They use the same brand of booster seat!

Too soon?

EDIT - thank you mysterious benefactor for my first gold!

EDIT 2 - Shout out to u/LethKith who wants me and my whole family to die in a fiery car crash. I hope you have a good day buddy. Try to relax and enjoy the joke for what ...

Fighting COVID-19 by contact tracing and quarantining those with connections to infected people means that...

Poor Kevin Bacon never gets to leave his home.

Why was Kevin Spacey so good at Blackjack?

He knew to hit on everything under 17

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poor Kevin Hart, he was in a car crash and now he's in trouble for smacking some guy's butt

I guess he's hit Rock Bottom

What did the Chernobyl victim name his balls?

Bill, Kevin, Tom, and Steve

Why did Kevin Hart have such a short stay in the hospital?

He has the money to pay for adequate medical service

Jackson and Kevin

Kevin and his friend Jackson both loved baseball very much. One day, Jackson asked Kevin,

“do you think there’s baseball in heaven?”.

“Not sure” Kevin replied.

A few days later, Jackson was hit by a drunk driver and died. Kevin took it hard a would spend hours walking the beach...

Kevin Spacey's acting career was like a House Of Cards...

One blow from a kid and it all comes tumbling down.

How did Kevin Spacey find the little boy in all the Tall grass?

Satisfying.

Kevin Durant should be sponsored by Old Spice.

He can have his own scent: Deo-Durant.

What's the one thing that Kevin Costner and the inventor of the vibrator have in common?

They both heard voices saying "if you build it, they will come."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor Kevin had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long

Doctor Kevin had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:

"Kevin don't...

TIL that after starring in 21 Kevin Spacey tried to play Blackjack professionally and lost all of his money.

Kept hitting on 17.

Kevin Spacey is trying to get a new position in Vegas,...

Blackjack Dealer

Because they hit on anything under 17.

The local weatherman named the upcoming snowstorm after his oldest son Kevin.

Because he didn't think it was going to amount to much either.

The Doctors told me I was just Six Degrees from dying of Kevin Bacon

Fortunately, Bacon was cured.

Bob has a small company. One day, one of his employees, Kevin, dies

Bob and his wife go to the funeral. On the way back home, she asks him:

"Dear, you know my brother is a little lazy, but he's been looking for a good opportunity. Do you think he could replace Kevin?" Bob answers:

"It's ok for me, but we would have to talk with the graveyard administ...

Mother: How was school today, Kevin?

Kevin: It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!

Mother: Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?

Kevin: What school?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After discovering that Kevin Spacey is a sexual predator, I would be surprised to see him get any work in the future.

Unless he runs for President of the United States.

Why is Kevin Spacey bad at hide and seek?

He comes out at the wrong time.

I want to watch the new Dwayne Johnson movie, but also want to watch the new Kevin Hart movie...

I guess you could say I'm caught
between The Rock and a Hart place

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's a new machine down at the drug store...

Kevin and Tom are talking one day at the bar when Kevin mentions his elbow has been bothering him and he needs to make a doctor's appointment.

Tom tells him, "No, don't make an appointment. There's an amazing new machine down at the drug store. All you do is put in a urine sample and $10 and...

"Mum! I'm going out!"

You're not leaving this house until you change that miniskirt!!

"WHY?"

Because I can see your balls, Kevin.

"We should always help abled people", says miss Mandy to the class

"Would anyone like to share a story where you helped one?", She adds....
Kevin stands up and says, "I, with my 4 friends, made a blind woman cross a road!"
Miss Mandy says, "wow! That's amazing! B...

What's the difference between Kevin Spacey and Mozart?

It's hard to get Mozart to play with A minor.

The bartender at my neighborhood pub calls me Kevin McAllister.

Because I’m always going Home Alone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson.

He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, all sorts of things. The grandad is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy boy."

Another outburst and she hears the grandad calmly say: "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and ...

Kevin Spacey likes his guys like he likes his whiskey...

12 years old and in a barrel, OR 18 years old and full of coke.

Yo mama so fat

We are all concerned for her health, Kevin.

Been watching basketball lately, and I gotta say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant.

He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.

Temple of Eternal Light

Three couples are meeting with the Grand Guru of the Temple of Eternal Light, hoping to increase their sense of meaning and connectedness with the world. After listening to his sermon in rapture they ask how to join the Temple of Eternal Light.

"You must first demonstrate your commitment to t...

Did you hear Kevin Spacey is making a prequel to 21?

It's called "Always Hit on 14"

As a trucker stops at a red light, a woman catches up...

She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."


The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl c...

Kevin Spacey walks into a bar

But after realizing the drinking age is 21 decides that he'd rather hang out somewhere else.

Kevin Bacon once had a friend named Johnny Eggs

They were known as Kevin and Johnny.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can't stand Kevin Spacey and people like him.

They're all fucking immature assholes.

How is Kevin Spacey like Walmart?

They both have boys pants half off.

When was bed time at Kevin Spacey's house?

When the big hand touched the little hand.

Why can Kevin Spacey never win a race?

He always comes in a little behind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A confused mother watches her 4 year old son...

A confused mother watches her 4 year old son. on the staircase, he has the family cat and a box of tic tacs, and he is slowly and methodically eating one tic tac, licking the cat, and moving down one step. He then repeats this, over and over.

He is about half way down the stairs when finally ...

What do Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?

The House of Cards they had built in Hollywoodland has now made them The Usual Suspects in Sin City. This was supposed to be LA Confidential but apparently they couldnt find Consenting Adults. The American Beauty of this is that they will now forever be Inglorious Basterds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kevin goes to the doctor

Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had.. Kevin said, 'Shingles....

What did the woman say to Kevin Spacey on the beach?

Could you please move, you're in my son.

What's Kevin Spacey's favourite musical note?

A minor

Kevin Spacey is no longer going to be an actor. He's going to teach guitar.

Be cause he's good at fingering A Minor.

Kevin is on his way home after receiving his paycheck when a stomachache hit him..

Luckily, he was passing by a river.
Kevin ran for it and made a quick drop at the bank.

What do Kevin Spacey and Santa Claus have in common?

They both like to empty their sacks for young boys.
(I know it's an old MJ joke)

Bryan Singer and Kevin Spacey walk up to a bar

The bartender asks for their IDs. They walk away and say" well I guess we're not going to find what we're looking for here."

A cabbie picks up a nun.

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, ''I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.


She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and ha...

Kevin Spacey is undergoing conversion therapy and hope to eventually have a normal marriage.

He says, "I want to have kids."

Say what you want about Kevin Spacey

but at least he slows down in school zones.

Would you say Kevin Spacey was a Trekkie?

Or more a Space Invader?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Teacher ask Kevin for the meaning of... (NSFW)

Teacher ask Kevin for the meaning of: The Government, The Capitalism, The Working Class, The People, The Future and how they relate to each other.


Kevin gets home and asks his Mom about it; Mom replies: "WTF, you cannot see I'm busy here? Go and ask your dad about it, He is always just wa...

Where did Kevin Spacey perform the best?

Kindergarten.

Kevin spacey got turn down to play Santa.

Apparently they didn’t trust him with the naughty list.

What's Kevin Spacey's favorite college?

Brigham Young

Why doesn't Kevin Spacey win first place in marathons?

He isn't an athlete and doesn't train for marathons

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kevin Spacey's new job

Kevin Spacey's new job is at EA. They heard he likes to fuck 14 year olds over and over, just like them.

All the sandwiches in the fridge at work have names on..

Today I ate a sandwich called Kevin.

Whats Kevin Spacey's Favorite Opera?

The Magic Flute .... in a minor.

I had Kevin Spacey show up at a house party

I don’t see what all the fuss about him is. I was chatting to him for an hour about all things from art and music to politics.

He’s a very articulate and intelligent man but I must say his sense of direction is a bit off.

He cut our conversation short saying that he had to use the li...

It makes more sense now why Kevin Spacey helped Baby in Baby Driver

He saw a little bit of himself in Baby, figuratively and literally.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kevin Spacey while writing his apology: "I could own up to the mistakes I've made...

...butt fuck it"

For decades I've always liked Kevin Spacey

Turns out he stopped liking me decades ago

A joke walks into a bar, the bartender smiles and says "knock knock"

"Shut up kevin, I'm off duty, get me a beer."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Margaret Thatcher and Kevin Spacey have in common?

They both fuck miners

The NHL's Florida Panthers have apologized to their fans for using Kevin Spacey in a marketing campaign

it's probably for the best. He's a better fit with the Nashville Predators

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kevin came home from elementary school one day...

...with a smile and exclaimed, "Dad! I got the highest score in class on the math test!"

"That's because you're from Louisiana, son!" The father replies.

The next day, Kevin returns from school again with excitement in his voice.

"Dad, guess what!?!" he says happily. "I can spel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All these Kevin Spacey jokes have gotten pretty old

Which means Kevin Spacey no longer wants to fuck them

What do Kevin Spacey and posthumous 2Pac albums have in common?

They both came out at confusing times.

They are going to change the name of Kevin Spacey's character for the upcoming season!

It'll now be Frank Under-Age-Wood

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.