Harrison Ford just turned up at my AA meeting

I've never seen Han So low

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From a distance my boss looks like a young Harrison Ford

Up close he just looks like the cunt that he is.

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A man is golfing and gets a call from his mother-in-law...

“Steve! Thank God! Sharon’s been in a terrible accident! She’s at the hospital! Drop what you’re doing and get right down there!”

“Oh my God! My poor wife!”

He gets ready to leave and thinks- “I’m on the 17th green and 4 shots under par. She’s really in the best hands. I’ll hurry up ...

Harrison Ford said this joke on Jimmy Fallon

Two cannibals walk by past each other in the woods in opposite directions. Cannibal 1 says to the other, "hey, how's it going?".

Cannibal 2 replies "not so good, I ate something funny".

Cannibal 1: "really ? Like what?

Cannibal 2: "a missionary"

Cannibal 1: "well, how d...

Old Man Richard Harrison: I want to live till I am 100

Death: Best I can do is 77

I asked Rick Harrison for change for a Dollar,

He told me that the best he could do is 50 cents and that he is taking all the risks.

What do you call a party car driven by Harrison Ford?

A Ford Fiesta.

Why did Harrison Ford Crash his plane?

because he was flying solo and went look no hans...

Richard ‘Old Man’ Harrison just passed away

Mortician: it’s going to cost you $10,000 to put him in a casket.

Rick: best I can do is $100 cause it’s just going to sit there and collect dust.

Rick Harrison was recently made the Pope

His office was promptly renamed to the *Pawntificate*

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Harrison Ford told me this joke.

A guy is working at a grocery store, when a lady walks in. The lady says "excuse me, sir, where is the broccoli?" He looks around for a second, and says "well, it looks like we're all out of broccoli today. Come back tomorrow and we'll have some more." He goes back to doing his work, and about t...

Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford?

Because he's Indie!

What do you call Harrison Ford making a Venn diagram?

Comparison Ford.

Harrison Ford has broken his ankle.

There will now be a new Star Wars cast.

Seems like Harrison Ford is really down to earth

Too early?

Why was William Henry Harrison's inaugural address so memorable?

He had a killer final draft.

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A lady is in the grocery store and looks like she's having trouble finding what she needs.

An employee from the store sees this and asks if she needs help finding anything. The lady asks where she can find broccoli. The employee apologizes and tells her that they are fresh out but should be getting another shipment in the next morning. The next afternoon the lady is back at the store and ...

The Broccoli Joke

A woman goes to a super market with her grocery list. On the list is broccoli so she goes to the produce aisle, but to her dismay there was no broccoli to be found. So she finds an employee stacking shelves and asks the guy where she could find some broccoli. The guy tells her that they were current...

Who wants to be a Millionaire?

A lady is on "Who wants to be a Millionaire" and she has already won $500,000. She is on her last question with only the phone a friend left.

Chris Harrison: You can leave now with $500,000 dollars, or you can try for the million. If you fail to answer this last question you lose all your mon...

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LAWS FOR ENGINEERS

Engineering is a science that runs on the laws of physics. We have all studied these laws in our formal education. There are other laws that are equally powerful, however. These are found through experience in the classroom of applied technology. Here is a summary of the laws of physics for your ent...

This week on pawn stars, a man sells a $100 bill...

"I'm Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop"

"Hi i have a $100 dollar bill that is like to sell"

"hmm i've seen these and i know that the value can vary let me get an expert friend to look at it"

"oh yeah this is a 2016 print $100 bill, it's in fair condition so i'd say it's wor...

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So this guys working in the produce department in the grocery store and a lady walks up

(If you can, watch Harrison Ford telling this joke here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRHWvVBxWCw)


So this guys working in the produce department in the grocery store and a lady walks up and she says: “Excuse me.”

He says: “Yes?”

She says: “Where’s the broccoli, I can’t fi...

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