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Harrison Jokes

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Harrison Ford told me this joke.

A guy is working at a grocery store, when a lady walks in. The lady says "excuse me, sir, where is the broccoli?" He looks around for a second, and says "well, it looks like we're all out of broccoli today. Come back tomorrow and we'll have some more." He goes back to doing his work, and about t...

Why did Harrison Ford Crash his plane?

because he was flying solo and went look no hans...

What do you call Harrison Ford making a ven diagram?

Comparison Ford.

Harrison Ford said this joke on Jimmy Fallon

Two cannibals walk by past each other in the woods in opposite directions. Cannibal 1 says to the other, "hey, how's it going?".

Cannibal 2 replies "not so good, I ate something funny".

Cannibal 1: "really ? Like what?

Cannibal 2: "a missionary"

Cannibal 1: "well, how d...

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From a distance my boss looks like a young Harrison Ford

Up close he just looks like the cunt that he is.

Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford?

Because he's Indie!

Harrison Ford just turned up at my AA group.

I've never seen Han so low.

Harrison Ford has broken his ankle.

There will now be a new Star Wars cast.

Why doesn't Rick Harrison ever commit a crime and then pin it on another person?

Because he'd have to get a buddy of his, and frame him. He's taking all the risk here.

I asked Rick Harrison for change for a Dollar,

He told me that the best he could do is 50 cents and that he is taking all the risks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why won't prostitutes sleep with Harrison Ford?

Because they don't want to be known as a Ford escort.

What do you call a party car driven by Harrison Ford?

A Ford Fiesta.

Old Man Richard Harrison: I want to live till I am 100

Death: Best I can do is 77

Whilst in the pub my friend asked me to name just 3 Qatar players?

I said George Harrison, Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix

Seems like Harrison Ford is really down to earth

Too early?

Why was William Henry Harrison's inaugural address so memorable?

He had a killer final draft.

It’s nice to see that celebrities have taken up book writing during the pandemic

One Direction by Kanye West

Guitars by Mel Gibson

Mining by Brad Pitt

Pear Cider by Katy Perry

Ship Building by Tom Cruise

How to Move Things by Jim Carrey

Escape from Prison by Morgan Freeman

American Motors by Harrison Ford

Wild Animals by Wi...

Tony Dungy visits Bill Belicheck to try and learn the Patriots secrets.

He asks Bill about how he always wins no mater what is going on.

Bill calls Tom Brady into his office and asks him "who is you father's brother's nephew?"

Brady responds "Me"

Bill turns to Tony and says "see you, need smart players"

The next day at practice Tony calls ove...

Who wants to be a Millionaire?

A lady is on "Who wants to be a Millionaire" and she has already won $500,000. She is on her last question with only the phone a friend left.

Chris Harrison: You can leave now with $500,000 dollars, or you can try for the million. If you fail to answer this last question you lose all your mon...

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A man is golfing and gets a call from his mother-in-law...

“Steve! Thank God! Sharon’s been in a terrible accident! She’s at the hospital! Drop what you’re doing and get right down there!”

“Oh my God! My poor wife!”

He gets ready to leave and thinks- “I’m on the 17th green and 4 shots under par. She’s really in the best hands. I’ll hurry up ...

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A lady is in the grocery store and looks like she's having trouble finding what she needs.

An employee from the store sees this and asks if she needs help finding anything. The lady asks where she can find broccoli. The employee apologizes and tells her that they are fresh out but should be getting another shipment in the next morning. The next afternoon the lady is back at the store and ...

The Broccoli Joke

A woman goes to a super market with her grocery list. On the list is broccoli so she goes to the produce aisle, but to her dismay there was no broccoli to be found. So she finds an employee stacking shelves and asks the guy where she could find some broccoli. The guy tells her that they were current...

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LAWS FOR ENGINEERS

Engineering is a science that runs on the laws of physics. We have all studied these laws in our formal education. There are other laws that are equally powerful, however. These are found through experience in the classroom of applied technology. Here is a summary of the laws of physics for your ent...

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