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Davis Jokes

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Three people arrive at the gates of Heaven

St Peter is processing them in. "Name and occupation, please?"

The first one says "Andrea Smith, I was a doctor."

"Of course. Doctors who save lives are allowed. Come in. Next?"

The second one says "Megan Jones, I was a nurse."

"Of course. Nurses who care for the sic...

Incredible Story of Dr. Davis and an Elephant

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Victoria University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected...

Confession

A teenage boy goes to church to confess his sins...

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned, I have been with a loose girl."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy?"

"Yes Father, it is," the boy replied.

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can’t tell you F...

Do you know what Miles Davis is called in Europe?

1.60934 Kilometers Davis



joke courtesy of Stephen Wright

When Jefferson Davis was in school, his teacher told him

"You're great at division"

Why don't they listen to Miles Davis in Europe?

Because they listen to Kilometres Davis instead.

Tried to cover Miles Davis but failed miserably...

I Kind of Blue it

Mole family and farmer Davis

There was a mole family on a farm, they had a mole hole. The farm belonged to Farmer Davis.

One day Farmer Davis decided to cook some chicken, so he starts a cookin.

Papa mole could smell some chicken and thought it smelled so good, so he scurried on up the mole hole and say at the ent...

AMA Request: Kim Davis.

I would like to hear her answer this question, for she seems uniquely qualified to do so:

If a man and woman from Kentucky get a divorce, are they still brother and sister?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Miles Davis was indeed a lucky man...

He literally had a Blow Job lasting 45 years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Miles Davis takes a lesson.

Miles Davis was taking a lesson from a famous music teacher in N.Y. The teacher asked Miles, "In the key of E major, what does it put the trumpet in"? Miles answered. "Back in the fucking case !"

In the today's news a man was caught attempting to pickpocket Warwick Davis.

Don't know how anyone could stoop so low.

A patient goes to the doctor and says: „I feel kind of blue.“

He has mild davis.

A genie jokeeeee!

3 men walk into the woods.
1 Named Nicholus Timothy Venus Terra Cotta Boolt Try Delta Earnest
Another named Lima Delta Bravo Tommy Tolt Colt Bolt Davis Jack Masson Brennen Cornista Colton
and finally one named Kin.


They begin to head to their cabin they are staying at but...

Why do aliens refuse to destroy churches in movies?

Because the Davis Entertainment Company still owns the right to Alien vs Predator

America could never switch to the metric system.

Kilometers Davis, how does that sound?

Lost my job at the HR department for signing the complaints letters with my initials.

Apparently it's because my name is Tommy Lee Davis Richards.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm

He sits at the bar and orders his drink and the bartender brings it to him.

While hes sipping on his drink the bartender says, “hey, mac, i gotta ask...whats with the octopus?”

The man says, “oh this? This is no ordinary octopus, this is a musical genius octopus!”

Skeptical, th...

Grandpas joke: Ellen's church recognition

Ellen was very involved with her church and community projects. So much so, the paster decided to recognize her efforts during Sunday service.

Paster Davis: I'd like to take a moment to recognize Ellen for her hard work and contributions. Ellen come up here and take a bow.

Ellen smi...

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The Army is undergoing budget cuts.

Cpt. Davis sitting in his tent, hears the roar of a helicopter and heads outside. Instead of a vehicle, however, there are three very confused soldiers sitting on top of a fourth soldier making helicopter noises with his mouth.

"The hell's going on here?" Davis yells

"Well, captain, af...

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Magic Cheese

"Your blood pressure and cholesterol are too high for a 30 year old." The Doctor said to David. "You need to lose some weight and soon. You are sweating too much and your stool samples look a little too loose. In fact, you have the early stages of dysentery due to the terrible things you eat. I'm go...

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