What is a Clay Sculptor's Favorite Song?

Kiln in the Name

My friend told me I could make six figures as a sculptor

He was technically right, but I still feel mislead

Many years ago, there was a sculptor.

He was a true master at his craft, and he worked hard every day to provide the finest replicas, busts, and statues to the rich and noble. He was held in very high regard, and his name spread across land and oceans and many sought to acquire one of his rare sculptures.

However, even with the ...

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My first one here.

Once there was an old lady who lived her life without having sex ever. She was very proud of this achievement as the only one in the town where she lived.
While in her death bed she made a wish that this achievement of her be made public on her grave so she told someone to make her grave read as ...

You guys ever heard the one about the sculptor and his Italian friend?

There once was a sculptor who made beautiful pieces of work. His specialty was beautiful women. He'd toil away for hours on end, immortalizing the prettiest women in plaster and granite. But one day, he realized that his work was no longer in demand. Distraught, he called over his closest friend, an...

A man walks into a sculptors studio and says...

"I would like a bust in my image so how much would that cost?"

The sculptor says " woah you only just walked in the door and you are already talking prices, let's back up a bit"

The man replied " I'm sorry I'm getting a head of myself"

I've been training as a sculptor for months but I'm not very good at it. Just the other day I made an Elk from limestone which I thought was good, but my art teacher Mr Watson couldn't work out what it was.

I said to him surely he could see it was sedimentary, my deer, Watson.

A sculptor made a beautiful hard drive from mahogany...

but it was all bark and no bytes

Why is the sculptor so rich?

He made six figures

A professional ice-sculptor files for bankruptcy...

Time for him to liquidate his assets

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An old lady was on her death bed

She asked her sister to bring the best sculptor in town, and asked him to carve a headstone for her grave, in beautiful lettering, reading “Born Virgin, Lived Virgin, Died Virgin”.

The artist promises her, but after her death he finds out her sister wants to pay just $ 250 for the work. He a...

Hundreds of years after their deaths, Galileo, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Marco Polo are walking in heaven and decide to have a conversation with Jesus...

Galileo says, “Jesus, I’ve been thinking about my past life on Earth, and I wanted to know what I am remembered for all these years later.”

Jesus pauses and replies, “Galileo, you are remembered as the Father of Modern Physics. By being one of the first to apply mathematics to motion, you le...

A world class clockmaker dies and goes to Heaven

Johan Hallowed was a master of his craft. He made everything from grandfather clocks to pocket watches to wrist watches. He even helped in the restoration of Big Ben. He finds himself at the Pearly Gates and even St. Peter is a fan of Johan's work. But due to a mixup, Johan was sent to spend eterni...

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Julia was organizing a cat show

and needed a trophy for the first prize. So she contacted a sculptor to create a trophy that resembled a beautiful persian cat.

Julia and the sculptor got together to discuss the plans for this trophy. She wanted it to be made of the finest white marble base with the persian cat made enti...

The Headless Statue

A man and his wife were touring the Louvre, when they came across the [statue of the goddess, Nike](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2444/4075352320_21271e99e9.jpg).

The man remarks, "Ah, such beauty. It is a shame that the sculptor decided to leave out her head."

"Well, to me, it's rath...

A self-absorbed man wants to get his bust sculpted.

He believes that one day he'll be very important, so he asks a sculptor to carve his bust out of marble to put into a museum in the future.

The sculptor says, "Sir, I think you're getting a head of yourself."

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