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Composer Jokes

Who is the chickens favorite composer?

B…b Bach!

Action Composers

All the action heroes are at Stalone's house when their phones all go off. Their agents give them news about a new action movie focused on the great composers. After the call they are all talking about who they would like to play.

Stalone: I'm not going to be in it if I can't be Mozart....

What do you call a fruity composer?

An Orange Schubert.

A director and composer are arguing about the score of a film

Composer: Is it really THAT important that there are no voices in any of the tracks?

Director: It's instrumental

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dictator once asked a famous composer if he could write him a brilliant piece of music.

Naturally, the composer was extremely nervous, as the dictator had a habit of giving the death penalty to those who did not please him.

The composer spent weeks working on this piece, and from a musical standpoint it was quite good. So, he gathered his orchestra and performed his piece for th...

What is a femboy's favorite composer?

Claude Debussy

Stallone: I’m making a movie about composers. I’m playing Vivaldi.

VanDamme: I’ll be Mozart.

Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys I’m not saying it.

Fun fact about composers!

Did you know the composers of classical music were the rockstars of their time?

It's true!

A lot of the showmanship we associate with popular musicians actually originated among classical composers.

For example, later in his career, Beethoven was known to start all his orchestr...

Joke about dead Austrian composer

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple

days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard

some strange noises coming from the area where Mozart was buried.

Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it.

T...

I tried to beat up the composer, but failed. Apparently I wasn’t…

…Rachmaninov.

What did the doctor ask the composer right before his colonoscopy?

How many movements?

C-3PO, Robocop, and The Terminator are planning a play about classical music composers

C-3PO says, “I’ll be Mozart”. Robocop says, “I’ll be Beethoven”. The Terminator says, “I’ll be Bach”.

What do you call a Hungarian Composer with one leg shorter than the other?

Liszt.

I went to Germany, stood outside a famous baroque composer’s house, and pondered the meaning of life.

That’s what you call thinking outside the Bach’s.

Arnold Schwarzenegger announced today that he'll be starring in a new movie about a 18th century composer

When asked about it it, Mr Schwarzenegger said "I'll be Bach"

After he became deaf, many people told Beethoven that his career as a composer was over.

But did he listen?

How do you cook german composers?

Just let Hans simmer for about 2 hours.

Three action movie actors decided to do a movie about classical composers...

Bruce Willis said, "I'll be Beethovan"

Sylvester Stallone replied, "I'll be Mozart"

Arnold Schwarzenegger chimed in, "I'll be Bach"

There was a time where all musicians and composers were broke

It was during the Baroque period.

Bach, the great composer, was having a difficult time writing new music.

With 20 kids in the house, it was hard for him to find quiet time to work.

So he decided to find a quiet place outdoors, and found a small shed in the woods. Unfortunately, it was so far from his home, that by the time he got there and started writing, it was time to go back home for lunch. ...

Who is a chickens favourite composer

Johan Sebastian Bock

A prolific composer dies and is buried in him hometown.

Weeks after the funeral, one of the townspeople gets drunk and tries to find his way home. In his drunken stupor, he finds himself lost in the graveyard. When he comes across the composer's grave, he begins to hear a strange, haunting melody. This terrifies him, and he runs out of the graveyard scre...

What does a classical composer use to carry his groceries?

A Chopin cart

Did you hear about the composer who took a vow of silence?

His friends called him Mutezart.

So I died and was reincarnated as a composer...

I'm Bach now.

What do a composer and a racist have in common?

They both use slurs

Composers are such hypocrites

They compose when they are alive and decompose when they are dead!

What happened when the composer got fired for being too experimental?

He went baroque.

Legendary composer Jim Steinman has died at the age of 73...

One of his biggest hits was "Dead Ringer for Love" a duet by Meat Loaf and Cher. Making the video for the song took weeks, as Cher's working hours were strictly regulated due to most of her being under 18

The lazy composer was a busy man

as he had several scores to settle

What's a music major frat boy's favorite composer?

Debussy

Stallone, Willis and Schwarzenegger are producing and starring in a period drama about the Great Composers.

Stallone, Willis and Schwarzenegger are producing and starring in a period drama about the Great Composers.
They all agree that Stallone should play the role of Beethoven, but Willis and Schwarzenegger get into an argument about who should play Chopin.
Stallone suggest they toss a coin to de...

Apparently Danny Devito is casting a new film about Baroque composers.

Arnold Schwarzenegger will be Bach.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

8 year old Arnold Schwarzenegger was sitting in music class. The teacher said that each student would play the role of a famous composer.

One student said "I'll be Beethoven".

Another said "I'll be Mozart".

Yet another student said "I'll be Tchaikovsky".

And Arnold said "I'll be Bach".

What did one composer say to the other when the bill arrived?

Can you pay? I'm baroque.

Isn't it ironic that the world's greatest composers; Bach, Beethoven, and Mozart...

... Have spent the last 200 years decomposing?

Thank you. Thank you very much.

I love you all.

Why did everyone hate the classical composer’s music

Everyone thought he had some sheet music

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a heterosexual music composer?

Straighthoven

Bach was a legendary composer with 20 kids.........

I guess that qualifies him as being a freak in the sheets and on the sheets.....

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

When he asked him who the best composer was, they replied, "Bach Bach Bach"

What do you call a conflict between composers?

A de*bach*le.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong Un asked a well known North Korean composer to create a piece for him

The composer had many months to find people to play, and to write a piece. Once it was performed on stage, it sounded terrible. The players werent synchronized, and they were all playing the wrong notes. That night the composer was set to be executed.

Before the composer was put in the electr...

I can't find my Liszt of composer puns

If any of you can get a Holst of it, could you Handel it to me?

Beethoven and Bach were once composers.

Now they are decomposers.

When Arnold Schwarzenegger was a little boy back in Austria, he and his friends had a game where they would pretend to be famous composers ...

Georg would say "I'll be Handel!”

Franz would say "I'll be Schubert!”

Arnold would say "I'll be Bach!"

A man cheats on his wife who happens to be a composer. After finding out about it, she composes a piece of music that expresses her unending rage.

Hell hath no fury like a woman score.

[Composer Joke] JS Bach died and went to heaven...

After he died, Bach landed at the Pearly Gates where God was waiting. "Bach! hallelujah!" God said: "Our angelic choir is in need of a new oratorio, and with how many songs you've composed, you MUST be the man for the job."

Bach sighed, then said:

"God, I've spent my entire life comp...

i've got a Liszt of great composer puns that's Haydn in my closet somewhere...

i could look Bach there and read it to you, but i don't think you could Handel it.

Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger

are talking to each other about their long careers as action heroes. Sly says, "You did some okay comedy, but you have the governorship and political success to be proud of."

Arnold says, "You've had so much recognition in Hollywood. I've never been nominated for an Oscar, you have have been ...

Why did the Composer marry the Musician?

It was an arranged marriage.

Every time a famous music composer dies...

... he starts decomposing.

My Friend And I Recently Desecrated A German Composer's Tomb

It was Bach-breaking work, but we got it done.

What's the difference between JR Smith and a bad music composer?

One of them still knows the score

Why were all the 17th century composers poor?

Because they were baroque a f.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate when people incorrectly categorize Mozart as a classical composer...

Even though he lived during the Classical Era, he was Baroque as fuck.

Spotify won't let me listen to any Hungarian composers for some reason

I feel so lisztless

As Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger had to attend many high society functions. One such function was a fund raiser which featured a symphony orchestra playing a medley of pieces by famous composers.

Arnie, as is well known, has only one preference when it comes to classical composers, but sat patiently during the performance.

There were selections by Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Tchaikovsky and more.

The Governor began to get quite perturbed when, after over an hour and half, his favo...

Why didn't 18th century composer George Frideric Handel go shopping while he lived in London?

Because he was Baroque.

Did you hear about the constipated composer?

He couldn't finish the last movement.

Why did the composer go to the chiropractor?

Because he had Bach problems

What did the composer say about the music at the Super Bowl?

It's in half time.

How does a composer remember which groceries to buy?

She writes a Chopin Liszt.

What do you get when you cross a Classical German composer with an erupting volcano?

Baklava.

(It came to me in a dream last night. I dunno man..)

What did the 18th century German composer say when he needed to use the bathroom?

“I’ll be right Bach, I need to make a movement”

The music composer at my school is suffering from Cancer.

He's in the hospital being fed through a tuba.

Did you hear that they're producing an action movie about a team of crime-fighting composers?

They already approached Arnold Schwarzenegger about playing fellow Austrian Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, but he said "no, I'll be Bach!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Arnold Schwarzenegger is actually a talented composer with a love for classical music!

His newest album is titled, "I'll Be Bach."

What do sick composers drink?

Tchai *cough* Tea

Which classical composer is best at playing hide and seek?

Haydn. [OC]

What is a composer's favorite vegetable?

Bach choy.

I've been invited to a fancy dress party at Arnold Schwarzenegger's house. The theme is classical composers.

I'll be Bach.

In his prime Mozart was one of the best composers.

But after his death he became a decomposer.

I used to have a job impersonating a German composer.

Bach in the day!.

(I take no credit for this - as I read it in a magazine)

Did you know they are making an action movie about the great composers?

Arnold Schwarzeneggar says he'll be Bach.

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